1 Margarita Nights (19 page)

“Whoops!” Marley said in my ear.

They may have been homeless but these two weren’t beaten or downtrodden. Their eyes shone with sly malevolence; these were dangerous predators, not the victims we normally associate with homelessness–the sort of men you went out of your way never to be alone with.

“Hello!” I said, trying for the perkiness of a Christian zealot going door to door. “The Reverend Halliday is conducting a little survey on the needs of the people who use his mission. He’s just over there . . .” I pointed behind me to lend credence to my lie, “and will be along in a minute, but perhaps you could answer some questions for us . . . if you wouldn’t mind, that is.”

They exchanged looks. The bigger one, the one who looked like he was wearing a fright wig left over from Halloween, along with his worldly possessions, turned his head aside and spat on the ground. “Halliday can go fuck himself.”

“Well, I’m really sorry you feel that way,” I said, edging backwards. “God bless you brother.”

“I’m not your brother,” he growled. This man definitely did not have a religious nature.

The smaller man smiled, which was unfortunate. He was missing his top teeth and it looked as if he would be better off without the bottom. “You can bless me if you want,” he said, cupping his crotch, to make it clear the exact nature of the blessing he had in mind.

He planted his hands on the arms of the chair and started to push up. My feet were already moon-walking out of the clearing.

The big man grabbed the little guy from behind as he reached his feet. “Forget it. You want to bring the law down on us?” Mr. Teeth whined deep in his throat but sank back down. “By the way,” I said, suddenly brave again, “we were also requested to ask if Andy Crown is here .” Their faces stayed blank. “He’s about six foot tall with wild curly hair.” I raised my hands in a circle around my head to help them visualize it. He’s thirty-two years old with blue eyes.” Even I wouldn’t have recognized him from this description.

Nothing.

By now Marley was moving backwards faster than I was and tugging on my T-shirt to get me moving. Not a good thing. They were getting a better view of my charms than was safe. “Well, goodbye,” I said, ever polite.

We turned and ran. I’d won more than one trophy for track, but still, when we rounded the pepper tree Marley was the one that ran smack into the man coming up the path.

Marley screamed and beat him with her fists while he ducked and dodged, putting his forearms up to defend himself and calling her name.

At the sound of her name she stopped her attack, stared at him for the flick of an eye and then threw her arms around the Reverend Halliday. She’d found her salvation at last.

“Marley,” I said, yanking on her sweatshirt, “Marley.” But she didn’t let go, she was drowning and he was a giant rock above the raging sea. To be honest, he didn’t seem to mind, seemed to be holding on just as firmly.

“After you left I started thinking that this was no place for the two of you to come alone,” he explained over Marley’s shoulder, rubbing her back and rocking her gently. “I came to make sure you were all right.” He lost interest in me at this point and turned his face into Marley. “It’s all right. You’re safe,” he soothed.

Marley was sobbing with her head tucked into the side of his neck and her arms locked around him. She was going to drown the poor guy if she kept this up. Making shushing sounds, he slid an arm across her shoulders and with her locked to his side, he led her slowly away.

Oh for god’s sake—a little fear plus a few hormones and control goes right out the window. I felt quite left out. I stepped around them and stomped up the path to the hole in the fence.

At the truck I dug out Marley’s bag and helped myself to her cigarettes. I leaned against the pickup, waiting for Marley and trying to figure out what to do next. With the three of us together it would be much safer to go back into that jungle, but I wasn’t sure that it would get us any further. The population beyond the fence was even less inclined to help than the people on this side. I dug around in my bag and found an old telephone bill, the second notice of an unpaid balance. I pulled the statement out of the envelope and stuffed it back into my bag for next month. I wrote Andy’s name in big block letters at the top of the envelope and tried to find words that would reassure him. In the end, I wrote, “Call me, Sherri.” I poked a hole in my note and tied it onto the fence with a bit of string from the pavement. Anyone going through the chain-link was bound to see it. Hopefully they wouldn’t rip it down.

An idea hit me. I should have thought of it sooner. I could make up flyers and leave them everywhere Andy might be. It was a great idea. Maybe even add a picture of Andy and hand it out all over town with the promise of a reward. As quickly as this great idea came to me, sanity told me that you don’t find a paranoid person by putting up flyers with his picture on it. It would feed right into his delusions.

I helped myself to another cigarette. It was taking them a long time to get to the fence.

I was about to lean on the horn when I saw them coming. Reverend Halliday still had his arm around Marley’s shoulder. I kept my eyes on Marley, trying to figure out was happening.

I didn’t have to wait long.

When they dipped through the fence, Marley started talking. “That was terrifying. I’m really shattered,” she told me. “David’s going to take me home.”

Oh really! David! I wanted to ask her why she didn’t pick up guys in bars like the rest of us, but her eyes were warning me to shut up.

“Okay.” I nodded my head in agreement. “Good idea.” I reached into the truck and got her bag.

“I’ll call all the shelters and see if they have anyone named Andy Crown,” David promised. I handed Marley her bag.

“And I’ll ask everyone that comes in for food if they’ve seen him. I’ll call if I hear anything.” “Now that’s a great idea, David. Thanks.” I sank back against the truck and watched them walk to his car, watched him unlock the door for Marley, watched her smiling at him like he was Superman. I felt a strange stab of jealousy, fresh and hot and unexpected. I wanted to feel like that again.

Ashamed, I scrambled into the truck. I was turning the key even as I slammed the door. I squealed out of the parking lot like a teenager downtown on Saturday night. So much for being a mature adult.

I stopped for groceries on my way home and was still putting stuff in the fridge when someone knocked on my door.

“Hi,” Cordelia said. She tried a smile. “Sorry I’m not who you were hoping to see.”

I laughed and held the door wide for her to enter. “Was I that obvious?”

“Yes.” Cordelia settled gracefully into the bottomless couch. Man I wished I could do that.

“I was hoping you were Andy Crown.” I told her the story as I went to the fridge for sodas. “I really want to find him.”

“What can I do to help?” Her guileless blue eyes begged to be included, anything to keep from dwelling on the realities of her life.

“How about calling the hospitals?”

“Sure.”

“I already went out to see his mother. I don’t want to go back.”

“We go to church together,” she said. “I’ll ask how Andy is dealing with Jimmy’s death and ask if they’ve seen him.”

“Thanks.” I watched her turn the glass around in her hands. “So how are things with you?” I asked.

She just hunched her shoulders in response. “I’m getting through the day.”

“You came by to check up on me, didn’t you?” She set the soda on the battered coffee table. “I didn’t think I’d find you here.”

“Why?”

“Because Noble is away until Sunday morning.” Well that explained where Evan had gone. “Sorry to disappoint you.”

“I’m not disappointed. I’m glad you’re not the one. I’d hate to lose you as a friend.”

I winced. What kind of a friend keeps a secret as big as the one I was keeping?

“Anyway,” she said with a delicate flick of her wrist, “I’ve hired a private detective. I know it sounds like a tacky thing to do but I have to know the truth. So far he has just followed Noble to normal places. Work-related things. And Evan’s.

That’s why I thought you lied to me. I thought he was pretending to visit Evan and slipping in to see you somehow.” Her delicately pale face looked apologetic.

“Is it so bad between you?” I asked. “Can’t you just go on the way things are?” I knew it was a stupid question the moment the words were out of my mouth.

Her eyes fell. “We never . . . ,” she paused, looking down at her gold wedding band. She reached out for it and took a deep breath. “It’s been so long. Not since Robin was born.” She looked up at me. “Do you think that’s normal?”

“Not where I come from.”

“No, I don’t suppose it’s a problem you’ve ever had. Men like you.” If anyone else had said that it would have sounded catty, but with Cordelia it came out as high praise. “You don’t know what it’s like to lie in the dark, hoping he’ll reach out to you.”

“Cordelia . . . ,” I started.

“You don’t know what it’s like to touch a man and have him pull away. Each time I try to make him want me, by wearing a new dress or flirting with him, I see him cringe. See him close in on himself and I feel like a whore, an ugly worthless . . . ,” she searched for words, “hussy. It’s like I ’m cheapening myself and he can’t stand to see it.”

“Don’t blame yourself, Cordelia. You’re a beautiful, intelligent woman. If you weren’t so fine and upstanding you’d see just how many men are attracted to you. Don’t fault yourself for some failure in Noble.”

She shook her head wildly. “No, no. It isn’t Noble. It’s me. If I were just more like you.”

I laughed. “Wash your mouth out, girl. If your mama could hear you she’d fall down in a faint.”

She smiled faintly. “My mama couldn’t begin to know how I live and I can’t tell her.” “Have you tried?”

“No! Never! I’ve only told you. I couldn’t tell her or anyone else.”

“But what do you plan to do if your detective does come up with some evidence that Noble is having an affair?”

“I don’t know exactly.”

“Well, there’s lots of time to decide. In the meantime it’s you I’m concerned about. Give yourself a break, stop slamming yourself.”

I wanted to say more and put an end to her misery; or maybe it would start more misery, but it wasn’t my secret to tell. Besides, Cordelia’s detective would soon set her straight . . . if she made the connection. Cordelia was naïve, an innocent, and the truth of Evan and Noble’s relationship might never occur to her. She’d just go on thinking they were good friends and that she’d made a mistake about Noble having an affair.

The wind had shifted to the north, bringing cold winds with it. The temperature dropped late in the afternoon and by the time I left for the Sunset the landscaping all over town was beginning to sport bed sheets, a sure sign we were in for a frost. I thought about Andy, hoping he wasn’t sleeping rough.

When I turned into the parking lot at the Sunset, only a few hardy tourists were still on the sand, huddling together under blankets waiting for the sun to go down. They must have been the ones down from Toronto. Those guys are always the last to leave the beach.

I was so glad to get to the bar that night you wouldn’t believe. It says something when work is easier than living, but at the Sunset I knew how things worked and people only wanted things from me I could deliver. I ran all the way up the stairs.

Diana Krall’s sultry voice filled the room, as the etched glass doors closed behind me and Bobby Lee, the manager, greeted me with, “I wasn’t sure you’d make it in tonight. Can’t stay away, can you Sherri?”