1001 Ways to Make Money If You Dare (79 page)

488 BE A LOAN SHARK.
Bad news: the economy is in the toilet. Good news: you can take advantage of broke people by lending them money at a ridiculously high interest rate. You'll get in trouble if you threaten or harm your clients, but if you can resist the urge to break fingers if they don't pay you back, try this way on for size.

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489 SELL RELIGIOUS ARTIFACTS.
Next time you're baking cookies or making a grilled cheese sandwich, put your artistic skills to the test and etch the image of Jesus, the Virgin Mary, or another religious icon into the food. Post a photo of the object on eBay and you never know — you could end up making a fortune off a gullible religious fanatic.

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490 “DISCOVER” A MYTHIC CREATURE.
Those Scottish fools have made a bundle selling pictures and footage of Nessy. And just recently, two guys down South “caught” Bigfoot and had his dead body to prove it.

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491 SELL YOUR WEDDING GIFTS.
Weddings are pricey. So if you're due to walk down the aisle, register for expensive gifts, only to turn around and return them for cash, or sell them online at a discount price. Sure, you may feel bad selling the cake server your grandma bought you, but you'll get over it.

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492 WRITE LETTERS FROM SANTA.
Odds are, you figured out there was no Santa the same way everyone else did: you noticed that Santa's handwriting was very similar to your mom's or dad's. Since typed letters don't suggest childlike Christmas innocence, offer to handwrite official Santa letter responses. Advertise your services near places where kids can sit on Santa's lap — most of those kids can't read, right?

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493
HO, HO, HO!
FOR DOUGH.
What would Christmas be without the requisite mall Santa? Less commercialized? Possibly. Less charming? Definitely. Do your part to spread the holiday cheer and pad your pockets by throwing on the fat suit (or just a red suit if you're already padded elsewhere) and work as your mall's St. Nick. Just be careful — you never know what kind of presents little kids will leave on Santy's lap.

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