I showered and changed into a long, flowing sundress. Micki came in from the beach and mimed sticking her finger down her throat. “Natalie, we’re not going to a Woodstock festival tonight. We’re at the beach. Skin rules.”
I looked down at my dress.
Is it that bad?
“I didn’t bring anything else.”
“I did. What size do you wear?”
I had to think about it; the sizes had dropped faster than the temperature at sunset. “Eight?”
She gave me a doubting look. “I think you’re a six, sister. So am I. Let’s see what we can do for you.”
Micki had brought two suitcases to Cassidy’s three. She pulled out four different dresses and laid them on her bed. “Which one do you like?”
They looked smaller than shirts I used to wear. “These are really short.”
She tucked her short black hair behind her ears. “Good. You won’t overheat. Pick one.”
I hovered over the choices, which really were beautiful, but nothing like any dresses I’d ever worn. I ruled out the two strapless options, even though the red one was to die for. I’d be worried about a wardrobe malfunction all night.
That left a peach-colored baby doll that would skim my knees if I were lucky, and a classic white dress, with flowers lining the straps. “Let’s try the white one.” I pushed back the fear bubbling up in my chest.
Micki handed it to me. “And let’s put your hair up,” she said. “Show off your long neck.”
It was easier to humor her than argue. I went to my room and changed into the dress, spending at least ten minutes examining myself in the mirror from every angle. I had to admit, it looked good. There wasn’t a bulge to be found. I went out to show Micki, feeling like a teenager trying on her first grownup gown.
She shrieked and covered her mouth. “You look so good! You should totally hire me as your stylist. And good news, I’m cheap. Not in the trampy way, of course.”
“Of course not.” I heard the shower turn on down the hall. Apparently, Cassidy had arrived while I was changing and was now getting ready. It would probably be a good hour before she was ready to go, so I sat down on Micki’s bed and let her do my hair and makeup. I’d been chubby since I was a toddler and hadn’t been to many makeover parties. I closed my eyes and smiled as she worked on my hair.
“So, you’re really not interested in any of Connor’s friends?” Her fingers moved quickly through my hair, curling and twisting sections into an updo.
I shrugged. “None of them are really like Connor.”
She set the curling iron down. “Wait. You’ve got a thing for Connor?” she asked in a devious, hope-it’s-true whisper.
My eyes flew open and I shook my head. “No, no. He’s just really nice and I thought his friends would be more like him. They’re overgrown frat boys.” I was shaking my head hard enough that my updo was falling down.
“The lady certainly does protest a bit much.” Micki smirked. “Cassidy doesn’t deserve him. What that girl needs is a breakup worthy of a viral video. I can’t believe what men will tolerate from a beautiful woman.” She rolled her eyes.
I let out the breath I’d been holding. “I know.”
She doused my hair with more spray than I’d used in the last month. “If you don’t like any of his friends, maybe you’ll meet someone else tonight.”
“Maybe.” I coughed, waving away the mist of spray that lingered in the air. “What about you?”
She shrugged. “We’ll see. I don’t stress about it too much. When it happens, it happens.”
She finished my makeup and I looked in the mirror. It was heavier than what I usually wore, but somehow it looked more natural than the results my fumbling around ever had. I hadn’t even felt this beautiful when I got all dolled up for prom at the salon and went with a bunch of girlfriends. I threw my arms around her and squeezed. “Thanks, Micki.”
She stepped back and I dropped my arms. I forgot she wasn’t a hugger. “No problem,” she said. “It’ll be very interesting to see how the night turns out. Be sure to bring my dress home in the morning.”
“Micki!”
She winked at me. “You’re hot, Natalie. Deal with it.”
I looked in the mirror and the reflection of the person looking back at me certainly was hot. But would I ever feel the same way inside?
We sat outside on the patio waiting for Cassidy to finish getting ready. Micki put her head on the table and pretended to snore. “What’s she doing? Washing each hair individually?”
The patio door slid open. “I’m ready!” Cassidy cooed. She’d straightened her long hair, which fell over her tanned shoulders. A hot pink, strapless mini dress showed off her perfect legs. She looked like an airbrushed model who’d stepped out of her
Cosmo
. Nobody would be looking at me next to her.
Surprisingly, her smile fell when she saw me. “What’s all this?” She gestured to my dress.
I smoothed my hands down my thighs. “Micki did an ambush makeover on me.”
Micki set her hand on my shoulder. “Doesn’t she look fab?”
“Yeah. Sure.” Cassidy shrugged. “Let’s go, girls. Reservations are at seven.”
I drove, since I wasn’t planning on drinking much. Micki handed me her lip gloss for an extra coat before we hit the restaurant. “You look amazing,” she told me before we went inside. “Seriously.” She squeezed my shoulder.
“Thanks.” I pressed my hand against my chest, hoping to calm my heart. I’d never gone anywhere looking like this. I lingered in the parking lot while Cassidy strode ahead. Micki grabbed me by the hand and pulled me in.
I spotted Connor and his friends sitting in the back near a lobster trap tacked to the wall and a nice view of the ocean. I was aware of heads turning to watch us walk by. I gulped.
Connor stood up when we walked over. Cassidy planted a kiss on his cheek, but he was looking at me. “You guys look great,” he said.
Cassidy giggled and shrugged. “Thanks, sweetie.”
Connor snapped his gaze from me, and a glare flickered across Cassidy’s face. Then it was gone, and she was laughing and teasing one of his friends about his sunburned nose and how he looked like Rudolph.
I sat down and found myself directly across from Connor. Jared was next to me with a view down the v-neck of my dress. “You girls having a good time?” he asked.
I took a sip of water. “It was a beautiful day. I love the beach.”
“Natalie and I are going running tomorrow morning. We’re supposed to have terrific weather again,” Connor said.
Cassidy narrowed her brows. “You two are running? Together?”
“Yep. Found out she goes jogging just as often as I do.” He looked at me and smiled.
Cassidy flipped her hair over her shoulders. “Natalie, did you go to the beach when you were really big?”
“Cassidy!” Connor scolded.
“What?” she protested.
I closed my eyes and forced a grin. “I’ve always gone to the beach whenever I could. I love looking for interesting shells or beach glass. I found a piece once with a symbol stamped on it. It looked really old. Blue beach glass is my favorite. Hard to find.”
“How cute!” Cassidy laughed. “Did you bring your shovel and pail? Maybe you can make a sandcastle, too.” She covered her mouth with her hand. “I’m sorry. I suppose that’s what people do at the beach when they’re not working on their tan.”
I was used to witnessing Cassidy’s passive-aggressive bitchiness, but it usually wasn’t directed at me. I opened and closed my mouth, uncertain what to say. I’d spent a lifetime ignoring snide comments. Battling them back just wasn’t in my skill set.
“I’ve got a huge jar of beach glass at home,” Connor said. “I like wondering where it came from. Pirate ship? Party on a cruise boat?”
Cassidy made a face. “Seriously?”
Connor caught my eye, and I couldn’t hide my smile. “Or maybe a piece of a champagne bottle that christened a ship?” I offered.
He pointed at me. “Clever. Hadn’t thought about that one.”
Cassidy rolled her eyes. “It’s just from beer bottles and wine coolers.”
The waitress came by to take our drink order, and I decided water with lemon wouldn’t cut it. “Rum and diet coke.”
“I’ll help you look for some beach glass tomorrow,” Jared offered.
Cassidy laughed. “Yeah, Jared, I forgot, you’re quite the treasure hunter.”
“If Natalie likes it, I don’t mind helping her.”
“I could help you, too,” offered another friend.
I really had no plans to go beach glass hunting, but when two cute guys volunteered their assistance, what could I say? “Thanks. That’d be great.”
Connor’s other friends were checking me out and I felt like the new baby panda at the zoo with so many eyes on me. I wanted to slide under the table. Cassidy watched them watching me, while Micki was watching her.
“So, how about those Red Sox?” I said, breaking the silence at the table.
Thankfully, the conversation turned to the baseball season and plans to rent jet skis the next day. Soon enough, our food came. Although I’d been mighty tempted by the Seafood Alfredo, I went with Shrimp Fra Diavolo instead, and probably saved a thousand calories doing so, although the portion was huge. I certainly wouldn’t be eating the whole thing.
Cassidy slid half of her broiled fish onto Connor’s plate. Then she looked at me. “You’re not going to eat all that are you, Natalie?”
I was seriously thinking about asking for a new cubicle when we went back to work Monday. “No, I’m not going to eat it all. I’m more than happy to share if anyone wants a taste.”
“Would you have eaten the whole thing before you lost all the weight?” she asked.
Connor shot her a look.
“What? I’m just curious. I have no idea what it’s like to be that big. I’m proud of Natalie. I’ve been her cheering squad all along.” She pumped her fist in the air as if to prove it.
Curious onlooker is more like it
, I thought. I finished my drink and signaled the waitress for another. Once upon a time, a situation like this would have had me diving into the breadbasket. But I chewed on a few ice cubes instead, gnawing away at my stress, calorie-free.
But I was still upset. I stood up to go to the restroom. “I’ll be right back.”
“Let me come with you,” Micki said.
I hurried to the restroom while Micki tried to keep up. I pushed through the door, closed my eyes, and leaned back against the wall. “Why is she being such a bitch?”
“Because you’re the center of attention and she’s not. It’s probably the first time it’s ever happened to her.”
“I’m so embarrassed.”
“Don’t be. She’s embarrassing herself. Natalie, you’re not the number on your scale, even though that number’s a good one these days. You’re kind and funny and smart and you’re friends with me. And those things earn you big points.” She winked at me. “Chin up, girl. Now go to the bathroom, and we’re going to take our time walking back to the table. Let people look at you. Don’t worry about what they’re thinking.”
I nodded and looked at myself in the mirror. My arms were crossed and my shoulders slumped like I was trying to curl up into the fetal position. I put my hands to my sides, straightened my shoulders, and took a deep breath. I did look good. But Micki was right. I was more proud of the kind of person I was than what I looked like.
“Screw Cassidy,” I said.
Micki let out a whoop of laughter. “Or her boyfriend. That would show her.”
I whacked her arm and headed for a stall.
Returning to the table, I took my time walking, not bothering to see who was looking as I went by. Cassidy was telling a story to the guys, but they stopped looking at her and watched us as we returned.
She planted her hands on her hips. Then she forced a smile. “Did you go and throw up? Is that your secret?”
Micki sat down and popped a piece of bread in her mouth. “No, we were talking about what a bitch you are.” She smiled. “Kidding.”
“Cassidy, I think you’ve had enough to drink tonight,” Connor said.
She looked offended. “I’m concerned about my friend. I want to be sure she’s okay.”She stretched out the word like there were five letter A’s in it.
“You don’t need to worry about me. I’m great.”
“Yeah, you are,” Connor said.
Cassidy’s lips curled into a smile, but her eyes were flat and dull. “I want to show you guys something.” She reached into her purse and grabbed her phone. After pressing a few buttons, she handed it to Connor. “Look.”
He examined the phone.
“That’s Natalie at the company’s Memorial Day cookout last year.”
My stomach tumbled and I pressed my eyes shut, but I could still picture the scene. We’d been playing volleyball, and I was excited that I scored the winning point for our team. We posed for a picture, and our boss posted it on the bulletin board the next week. I hadn’t had my picture taken in years, and didn’t realize how big I’d really become. That’s when I’d decided to lose weight.
I reached for my drink, but it was empty. All the ice cubes were gone too.
“Isn’t that incredible?” Cassidy asked. “She’s like a different person. It’s like she lost a whole person or something. It’s like she lost me!” She giggled.
Frowning, Connor handed it back to her and looked at me. “I knew that was you right away. No one has green eyes like yours. Beach-glass green.”
Cassidy handed the phone to the guy next to her, while Micki placed her hand on my leg. “Hold your head high,” she whispered.
And I did. Then I stood up. “I’m heading back to the room.” I threw two twenties on the table to cover my part of the bill, and decided to drive home the next morning. This was too much.
“Natalie, I can’t let you drive. You’ve had too much to drink. You need to wait a while.” Micki pulled me back down in my seat.
The phone made its way back to Cassidy.
“So how did you do it?” Connor asked. “How did you lose the weight?”
I wanted to crawl under the table.
“I don’t mean to pry. You should be really proud, that’s all.”
“She stopped eating so much. Duh.” Cassidy rolled her eyes.
Something inside me snapped. She wasn’t really my friend and I wasn’t going to let her treat me like this. I wouldn’t slink away from the table because of her and I wouldn’t be leaving the beach, either.