Authors: John Goode
My mom hit him on the arm, but he ignored her as nicely as Kyle had ignored his mom.
“Sorry to disappoint you,” Kyle answered diplomatically.
My dad finished his drink before responding. “That’s the problem with the world, young man. No matter what or who you believe in, you’re going to disappoint someone. What separates the boys from the men is how much you care about it.”
Kyle said nothing, and Tyler chimed in, “He has a right not to go,” even though he had made it pretty clear a couple of minutes ago he thought we should go under protest as well.
My dad looked at Tyler. “Yes, he has a right not to go. But I think the point of the conversation is that he also has a right
to
go. The decision should be his, and instead, he has let someone make it for him.”
“I’m still in the room,” Kyle said, sounding a little annoyed.
My dad didn’t miss a beat. “Are you? I couldn’t tell by the way you weren’t saying anything.”
“Nathan,” my mom exclaimed. “That’s enough.”
“Is it?” my dad asked Kyle. “Is it enough?”
Kyle tossed his napkin down. “I’m not hungry anymore.” He pulled his chair away from the table. “I’ll meet you guys outside,” he said to his mom and Tyler.
I got up as he walked out. I shot my dad an evil look before chasing after Kyle. He got to the parking lot before I could get him to slow down. “Come on, please,” I said, panting. “I’ve played like three games in a row. I do not need extra running.”
He spun around and looked at me. “How did you live with that man?” he demanded. “He is so… arrrrghhh,” he screamed, turning around.
“My dad is a dick. I thought you knew that,” I said, trying to calm him down.
“‘Dick’ doesn’t even come close to… I mean, where does he get off….” His words tumbled out of his mouth carelessly, like each one was fighting with the other to get said first. “Do you agree with him?”
This would be the moment, if I was in one of Kyle’s comic books, that there would be squiggly lines all around my head telling me danger was close.
“If you don’t want to go, then we shouldn’t,” I answered as neutrally as possible.
“I didn’t ask that. I asked if you agreed with him,” Kyle reiterated.
“Yeah, I do,” I said bluntly. “I think what they’re doing is bullshit, and I can’t believe I’m not going to get to dance with you in front of the entire school and show them how stupid they are, but I’m in love with you, which means if you don’t want to fight, then I don’t want to fight. But if you ask me if what we’re doing is chickenshit, then I’d have to say yes, it is.”
He stared at me for a long time. It was pretty much the same look I’d expect from him if I had grown a second head or a third arm.
“Why didn’t you say something?” he asked after a while.
“Because I’m in love with you.” I tried not to make that sound like
duh
, but I’m pretty sure I screwed that up. “If you don’t want to fight, Kyle, that’s your choice, and I will respect it, completely. But you asked if I agreed with my dad, and I do.”
“If you want to fight it—”
“No,” I said, cutting him off and walking over to put my arms around him. “We don’t fight because I want to. That’s not how it works.”
He pressed his face onto my chest. “But we don’t fight if I say so? How is that fair?”
“It isn’t.” He looked up at me. “It’s not, but trying to fight Raymond again isn’t something we do because the other wants to. It has to be both of us or nothing. That’s the only way it works.”
He leaned into me again, and he sounded like he was going to cry. “I’m so fucking tired. I just want to close my eyes and wake up and have this whole thing over with.”
I kissed the top of his head. “Then close your eyes. Before you know it, we’ll be gone.”
A couple of minutes later, Tyler, Matt, and Linda walked out into the parking lot. “Honey, you okay?” Kyle’s mom asked. “That man is….” She looked at me and smiled. “Sorry, I know it’s your dad, but he is a real gem.”
“It’s okay, I’ve called him worse,” I assured her. “You okay?” I asked Kyle quietly.
“I feel like an asshole. This is supposed to be about your game, and now it’s—”
I kissed him, which was the nicest way to tell him to shut up I knew how.
When I was done, he smiled at me, and I knew it was going to be okay. “Kick their ass tomorrow?” he asked.
“For you, anything.”
It wasn’t a perfect night but close enough for my life.
The next morning the locker room was quiet as a library, which, let me assure you, was not normal at all. Usually there was laughing and wrestling as we tried to burn up a little energy before we went out onto the field. But now, no one said a word as we got dressed. You could swear we were going to a funeral. Shaking my own worries out of my head, I decided to change that.
“Okay, listen up,” I said, walking to the center of the unfamiliar locker room. “I have something to say.” Everyone looked over at me. I didn’t see a calm face in the bunch. “This is just another game, same nine innings as every other one. It is no different than any other one we’ve played this year. We are going to walk out onto that field, and we are going to play the best game we know how to. And you know what? We’re going to win. And you want to know why? Because we don’t go to the newest school, and we don’t have the shiniest equipment or the most expensive gear, but you know what we have that they don’t?” I pointed to the black armband on my sleeve. “We have something we’re playing for. I don’t want to go out there to beat them, and I don’t want to win because it would make us cool. I want us to go out there and play one more game for Kelly, and I want to show him how much we miss him. Not by crying, not by being sad, but in a way he would understand.
By kicking Granada’s ass off the field
.”
Everyone started to cheer with me.
“We are not players, we are warriors, and we are fighting for those who cannot fight anymore. Who’s with me?”
The sound was thunderous in the small room. One by one they began to chant “Kelly,” again and again. I looked around at my team, and I had never been so damn proud of a group of guys, ever. We charged out of the locker room as a team, ready to take blood if we had to.
So it turns out that Shayne wasn’t lying. His team was every bit as good as he implied.
He was a wicked good pitcher, and he had taken me out swinging twice. Each time I wasn’t even close to the ball. It was just dumb luck that we were only behind by two runs. It was top of the seventh, and I was beginning to have a bad feeling about this. I looked out to the stands and saw my parents sitting with Kyle and the rest of the Brady Bunch. They didn’t look like they were feeling any more positive than I was. I looked a couple of seats down and saw that Frank guy from A&M sitting there looking at his iPad.
There were two guys on base, and I watched Shayne pitch to Kenny. The ball dropped low as it got to the plate, an obvious ball. I ignored everything else and just watched Shayne wait for his catcher to toss him back the ball. I could see the sweat soaking through his cap and the way his eyes looked at the batter with a sense of dread.
He was out of gas.
He was at his breaking point, and his arm was about to give out. He could still pitch, but he was about to lose his heat, which meant he had maybe a couple of pitches left before he was going to have to tag out and be replaced. Kenny took another ball, and I saw Shayne cuss quietly to himself, no doubt telling himself to keep it together until the end of the inning.
I was up next, and I knew I finally had a chance to catch us up or pull ahead if Kenny got on base.
Looking over to Frank, I saw him watching intently, no doubt looking for someone to take the hole I opened up when I walked away. I saw Shayne throw a weak strike that Kenny fouled off. Yeah, he was about to lose it.
“We got this,” Josh said from behind me. “Now’s your time to hero it up.”
I looked back at him and heard the umpire call the third ball. Every particle of my being told me to shut up and just agree with Josh. Go out, slam the fuck out of that ball, and be the guy who turned the championship around once and for all. Shove the fact that just because I was gay didn’t make a damn bit of difference on how I played ball. I thought about the cheering and the celebration, and then asked myself what would Kyle do.
“I can’t,” I said, grabbing my shoulder.
“What?” Josh asked, sounding like I had just said I had shot his mom. “What do you mean?”
I looked past him to Coach Gunn. “I got a problem,” I said wincing as I tried to raise my arm.
He walked over as Kenny took his base from the fourth ball. Gunn called a time-out real fast. “What are you doing?” he asked, pulling me away from Josh. “Not a damn thing wrong with your shoulder.”
I looked over at Josh and then back to coach. “Let him bat for me,” I pleaded. “A&M is out there watching. Let Josh take the shot.”
“You’re our best hitter,” he said to me, not exactly arguing with me. “If he flies out, the inning is over and we left three men on base along with our only chance to catch up. You really want to risk the entire championship on getting your friend seen by a scout?”
“You think that guy is here to see Josh play? We both know he isn’t, and that’s not fair ’cause he is a damn good player. All he needs is something to get the man’s attention. He won’t miss.”
“And if he does?” Gunn asked me.
“If he does, I’ll tell everyone it was my fault,” I answered instantly. “It won’t be a thing on you.” He seemed unconvinced so I added. “I thought you already won championships, wasn’t this for us to win or lose?”
He didn’t say anything for what seemed like forever. The umpire called his name, asking if he was going to play or not.
Finally he shouted, “Walker, you’re in. Greymark, have a seat,” Gunn told the umpire, and I heard the announcer call out, “In for Bradley Greymark, Josh Walker.”
Josh looked at me with panicked eyes. “Dude, what’s wrong? We have bases loaded.”
As calmly as I could, I put a hand on his shoulder and looked him right in the eyes. “Jennifer went out with me after I made a shot like this back freshman year. You want her, knock this ball out of the park, and she will be yours forever.”
He opened his mouth to say something and then just grabbed his batting helmet and walked out to the plate. I watched him tap the dirt off his cleats slowly as he looked out across the crowd. “I hope you know what you’re doing,” Gunn growled from behind me.
So did I.
I saw Josh search the stands, and I did the same. Once I saw him look at Jennifer, a smile came over his face, and he brought the bat up to his shoulder.
For the record, we won 5-3. They never got close to catching up to us.
The stands were on fire as people rushed the field, all of them in some zealous state of joy for our victory. Jennifer jumped into Josh’s arms and gave him a kiss that looked like it could bring back the dead. I smiled as I watched confetti begin to fall all around the stands. It was a truly perfect moment. I looked over and saw my dad screaming his head off in celebration. Tyler and Matt looked like they were doing their own celebrating as well.
“Well done, Mr. Greymark,” a voice said from behind me. I turned around and saw Frank from A&M standing there. “Your shoulder okay?” he asked with a small smile.
I rotated my arm a little and pretended to wince. “It will be, I’m sure.”
“Think it will get better if you introduce me to your friend?” he asked, nodding to Josh.
I gave him a huge smile back. “I think it will, in fact.”
I led him over to where Josh and Jennifer were still kissing. “Ahem,” I said, trying to get their attention. “Josh,” I said when he ignored me. “
Josh
,” I yelled when he ignored that too. He waved an arm at me to go away without ever breaking from that kiss. I looked over to Frank. “Sorry, they’re a couple.”
He chuckled. “I’d hope so, ’cause that’s a hell of a kiss from a stranger.”
I finally kicked his leg. “
Josh
.”
He pulled back. “What the fuck?” he whined. “What is so damn important that…?”
“This is Frank. He’s from A&M.”
Josh almost let Jennifer fall to the ground, and he went to shake Frank’s hand. “Sir, pleasure to meet you,” he said, pumping the man’s hand like he was trying to get water from a well. Jennifer looked around confused as to where he had gone.
“He’s going to be busy,” I told her, leading her away a couple of steps.
She shook her head. “He can really kiss,” she said distantly.
“Better than me?” I asked, trying to sound hurt.
She just nodded her head. “Oh yeah, way better.”
I suddenly wondered if I’d made the right decision.
Not really, but I’m a better kisser than she’s letting on.
T
HAT
M
ONDAY
back to school was insane. Everyone was cheering. There was an assembly for us in front of the whole school, where Mr. Raymond once again looked like he was taking credit for the win instead of Coach Gunn. Josh was the hero of the moment, and he loved the attention he was getting. I remember liking it at the time as well. He got his letter of intention from A&M during the celebration, and the lunchroom went nuts for him. His dad walked up and gave him a maroon-and-white letterman jacket to wear, which he did proudly.
I felt really good for him.
“Wait, wait, wait,” he said, settling the crowd down. “Hold on. I need to say something.” Everyone quieted down and waited for him to talk. “I need to thank God and Coach Gunn and everyone for getting me here.” He turned around and looked at me. “But there is someone else I need to thank.” He smiled at me and then said to the crowd. “Let’s hear it for our team captain, Brad Greymark.”
The room went crazy again as he pulled me up to the podium. “Nothing would have happened this year without him.” He raised my hand, and I just started to laugh with him. “Come on, scream,” Josh ordered them.
And they did. It was pretty cool.
Not a bad way to end a season, if you ask me.