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“But I want to. I need to,” he admitted with
a whisper. He hugged and rocked her again, holding her so tight she
could scarcely breathe. Suddenly, his eyes flew open.

“I thought of something I should tell you,”
he said hesitantly and felt her stiffen under his arms. “But it’s
not what you think. It’s nothing really, I just don’t want you to
hear about it later and be angry or think something else of it.”
She wiggled out of his hold and stood back, staring at him, braced
and ready. He held the hands she kept rigid at her side. “Before
you, on one of the trips to Paris, well, you know by now what an
outrageous mess Arianna was. One night we were all playing cards
with a handful of clients. We were intoxicated, but Arianna was way
ahead of us as usual. I excused myself to the restroom and when I
came back to the table, she, well, she was topless. Dancing. I saw,
well, the whole room saw her–” he glanced down at his chest. “I
didn’t mean to,” he said in his own defense.

Ava stared at him expressionless and then her
face cracked into a smile, and then a laugh. A small wave of relief
washed over his weary face.

“I can hardly blame you for that, Jonathan,”
she said. “I’m sure half of Paris has seen Arianna’s breasts.” He
laughed lightly, nodding in agreement, and gave her a sheepish
grin.

“Yours are nicer,” he whispered. Her lips
twitched in appreciation, her eyes flickered up to his, then away.
They were surrounded by awkward silence again, and she shifted her
weight uncomfortably with a sigh. “Let’s go to bed,” he suggested
with a slight tug of her arm.

She shook her head. “You go ahead. I’ll be up
later.” His eyes dropped in disappointment, but he turned from her
slowly and left the room.

Ava sat at the table and turned the letter
repeatedly in her hands as she made her final decision. Much
emotion welled up in her again, and tears spilled over. With a
ragged breath, she wiped her wet cheeks, ripped the seal, and began
reading.

She pushed the bedroom door open sometime
later to find Jonathan sitting in the dark on the side of the bed,
his hands and head positioned as if in prayer. She held the letter
limply at her side.

“She loved you,” Ava whispered. “She loved
you enough to make peace with me, so I wouldn’t keep putting you
through this. She didn’t want either of us to be tormented by the
past.” He remained motionless, except for a deep, grateful exhale.
“She said a lot, actually.” Ava glanced down at the letter that
hung by her side. “Explained a lot. There’s not a lot of it I want
to talk about. I just wanted to tell you, it’s over. I’ll never
bring her up in anger again.” He reached one hand back to her
without looking up. She crossed the room slowly, dropping the
letter on the foot of the bed and took his hand. He didn’t change
his posture as he guided her to settle beside him, and they sat in
hushed darkness for many moments, neither one knowing where to
start. “I’m sorry,” Ava said remorsefully, “for bringing him up,
suggesting that I would go back to him. I was really angry.”

“I know. But still, I never want his name
spoken again. By either of us.”

“You really were going to do it,” she said,
turning his hand over and running a finger over the slightly raised
scar.

“I was.” He nodded, in shame. “I’m not proud
of it, and I never wanted you to find out.” He self-consciously
turned his hand over. “And honestly, I thought you’d have more of a
reaction.”

“I guess I didn’t because it had crossed my
mind recently, too.” Her words were laced with shame. His eyes
squinted to see her face in what little moonlight shone through the
window. “When Jean showed up, and I saw her, after just telling you
I was pregnant. Of course, I couldn’t do it. But it crossed my
mind, and I wished for a long time that I wasn’t pregnant, so I
could. I just felt like that was the final straw, you know? I
couldn’t deal with everything that had happened and right when you
started acting like yourself again, here was Jean and I was sure
that I would be pushed to the side for him.” She stared at the
floor during her confession.

“You know that’s not true, don’t you? I’ve
tried so hard to show you that it wasn’t going to be that way.”

“You have. And I don’t feel like that
anymore.”

Jonathan watched her for a moment before he
leaned over to the bedside table, pulling open the bottom drawer.
He dug around blindly. “Aryl found me and thought quickly to save
me. But Maura helped, too. Remember on the walk to the church she
wanted to talk to me alone? She knew. I don’t know how she knew,
but she talked to me all the way to the church. Got me thinking and
gave me this. I carried it in my pocket for months, like a kid with
a security blanket. It came to mean a lot more to me than the story
behind it or even the things Maura tried to get across to me. I've
stopped carrying it with me everywhere only recently. Like her, I
have the story and the meaning in my heart.” He handed her the
cross.

“It’s beautiful.” She turned it over in the
dim light, not really seeing the detail of design or the antique
strand that ran throughout. “That was nice of her to give it to
you.”

“Well, now I’m giving it to you,” he said,
closing her fingers around the heart of it. “Maura told me it
should always be with someone who needs it. It’s yours now.”

“Thank you, but . . . .” She looked up at
him, astounded. “How can you give me something after all the
horrible things I said? I yelled at you, threw things.”

He took her head between his hands, squeezing
it slightly for emphasis.

“Don’t ever question the fact that I love you
more than anything.”

She met his concentrated stare.

“Don’t ever keep anything from me again. I
don’t care how small it might seem at the time, or how difficult it
may be to tell me. Don’t you ever keep another secret from me.” He
placed her hand over his heart and held it there. She could feel it
beating strong beneath the thin material, slightly damp from the
balminess of the incoming storm.

“I swear. On my life, Ava. No more
surprises.”

With nothing left to explain, he lay down,
tucked an arm behind his head and pulled her close to him.

The wind blew the sheer, white curtains away
from the frame into large swells that suspended momentarily, then
rippled to the side with a graceful shimmer and quickly gusted out
again. The hypnotic motions in the silvery moonlight lulled both of
them to sleep quickly.

June 15th 1930

“Let’s stop by on the way home and tell
them.”

“You sure?” Aryl cocked an eyebrow at her
from behind the wheel of his parents’ car.

“Yes,” she said and smiled sweetly.

“You’re going to be nice, aren’t you?” Aryl
looked from the dirt road to Claire and back several times,
warily.

“Yes, I’m going to be nice. All smiles,” she
promised with a big toothy grin. They bumped along the rutted road
in silence for a while before Aryl began apologizing again.

“I’m sorry we couldn’t stay another day. I
have to get ready for tomorrow and–”

“I told you, it’s fine, Aryl. I had a
wonderful time. Very relaxing.” She gazed out the window at a patch
of dark clouds that lurked out over the ocean. “Wonder when that’ll
blow in?”

“Probably later this evening,” he surmised as
he sized up the shadowy billows.

They pulled into the driveway and Aryl honked
twice. His mother was at the door in seconds, waving and smiling.
Claire walked along the cobble path to the door ahead of Aryl and
he peeked around her, glaring at his mother, putting his finger to
his lips.

“I know you’re right around the corner, but I
miss ya so much!” She hugged her son tightly and then Claire. “So,”
she said with dancing eyes and a smirk that gave away her
knowledge. “How was it?”

“Oh, it was lovely,” Claire said and smiled
as she sat down in the living room, folding her hands in her lap,
staring at her mother-in-law with a sweet, innocent expression.

Kathleen fidgeted with the fold of her apron.
“Just lovely?” she asked, her voice slightly high in pitch. “A
plain old lovely weekend?”

“Just lovely.” Claire stared at her, waiting
and enjoying watching her squirm.

“Huh.” She turned to Aryl, her forehead
scrunched up in question. “Nothing exciting happened then?” She
looked slightly deflated.

“Oh, I didn’t say that,” Claire said, pulling
her attention back.

Kathleen lit up and wiggled slightly in her
seat, as if wanting to be settled just right to receive the news of
her first grandchild. She smiled, waiting eagerly. Claire spoke
with a perfectly straight face.

“We had sex a lot. And I mean, a lot.”

Aryl snorted, coughed, and left the living
room. Kathleen’s face had frozen in place as Claire continued.
“Practically all we did. Thank you for sending the biscuits and
jam, by the way. They were delicious.”

“You're w-welcome.” Kathleen stared,
dumbfounded.

“When I first walked up the stairs, I was
completely amazed. Aryl had it set up so beautifully. Everything
was almost exactly the way it was the first time we were there.
Only this time I didn’t have to pick splinters from my rear the
next day, since he thought to bring the feather tick. Aryl is so,”
she looked toward the kitchen with a sigh, “well-endowed. I hope
for your sake that runs in the family,” she said and grinned
playfully at her mother-in-law. “And it was good that it stormed
almost the entire time we were there. That thunder was loud, wasn’t
it? Not as loud as us, mind you. Good thing there were no close
neighbors–”

“Claire, I’m not sure this is–”

“It really was pointless to go on and on like
we did,” Claire interrupted, “from a procreative point of view,
since I’m already pregnant. But you knew that, didn’t you?” She
tilted her head and smiled sweetly at her mother-in-law. Kathleen
still hadn’t moved her statuesque posture, eyes still wide with
shock at the unique confrontation.

Claire stood up, gathered her purse, and
called out to the kitchen. “Aryl, darling, we’d better get going.”
She rolled her head back to Kathleen with her eyes bulging. “I
really need a bath.” Michael’s laughter came in spurts of coughing
fits from the kitchen, and Aryl walked to the door quickly, his own
face quivering as he tried desperately to contain his hysterical
outburst. Outside, he bent over laughing for a moment and then
grabbed her arm to pull himself up.

“What in the world got into you?” he
asked.

“Well, I decided that since she stole my
moment, I was going to steal hers.” She nodded triumphantly. “Think
it worked.”

Aryl laughed again. “Oh, I think it worked.
Served her right, too.” He closed the passenger door behind her,
laughing still.

∞∞∞

“Maybe she doesn’t like her name?” Caleb
paced the living room with Savrene wailing on his shoulder. “Ever
since we gave it to her, she’s done nothing but cry.”

“Don’t be silly.” Arianna peeked at the baby
over his shoulder. “Try holding her the other way.”

“I’ve held her every way there is to hold a
baby. Nothing helps.” He began pacing again, patting her back with
a bouncing shuffle. Jean sat on the couch with a worried look and
his fingers in his ears.

“It’s colic.” Hubert leaned on the doorjamb
with a look of sympathy on his slightly reddened face. “You had it
something awful when you were about this age. Seems to be when it
starts. I think you cried for two months straight, didn’t get a
wink of sleep.” He shook his head reminiscing.

“Well, I’m sorry I was such a difficult
child, but how do you fix it? There has to be something we can do.”
He looked down anxiously at Savrene, whose little red face was
quivering with one piercing cry after another.

“Well, if I remember correctly, the only
thing that quieted you down was a ride in the wagon. Damn near
drove two of my best horses to an early grave from exhaustion.”

“Again, sorry I was so much trouble,” he said
sarcastically. “Maybe I could try that.”

“Can’t. Got rid of the wagon last year. Maybe
you could take her for a horse ride, though.” Hubert wiped sweat
off his brow with his sleeve. “Sure is getting hot,” he said. Caleb
glanced at Arianna in concern, then watched his father closely.

“You feeling okay, Dad? You don’t look so
good.”

“Just getting a cold.” He lumbered back to
the kitchen. “Maybe I’ll turn in early tonight,” he called.

“Mom’s not back yet?” It would be dusk soon,
and he didn’t like the idea of his mother being out alone at
night.

“You know how she gets when she and the other
hens get together.” He flapped his fingers to his thumb several
times. “The gossip alone could go on for hours before they ever get
to playing cards. I’m just glad they have their meetings over at
June’s house.” Caleb stood at the back door, staring through the
screen.

“Maybe a walk outside would calm her down.
We’ve got that old pram.”

“I’m willing to try anything. You want to
take her or do you want me to do it?” Arianna asked.

“Why don’t both of you get some fresh air.
I’ll stay here with Jean and Samuel,” Hubert offered, leaning over
the table to light the oil lamp. The amber light from the small
flame brought out the shadows and sallow color in his face. “C’mon,
Jean, I’ll show you where Ethel hides the cookies,” he said.

∞∞∞

Less than twenty paces from the house,
distracted and calmed by the bounce of the pram as it wobbled along
the dirt drive, Savrene quieted and nodded off.

“Great. We’ll just do this all night,” Caleb
said sarcastically with a sigh. Arianna hooked her arm around his
and leaned her head on his shoulder as they slowly made their way
down to the main road. When they got back, Caleb slowly and
carefully lifted her from the bed of the pram and she wailed
instantly. His head fell in frustration and he laid her back down,
tucked her in, and then turned to make the trek once more.