Authors: SE Jakes
When he sized up Styx in the restaurant, he could immediately understand why Law would wait for this man, how Styx could ruin him for others. Tall, broad, ruggedly handsome, his energy was like a punch to the gut and somehow still mesmerizingly pleasurable.
Law had never promised Paulo anything but sex and then finally dinner, but in light of the current situation, Paulo knew all bets were off. Tonight, their bed would be crowded as hell, and Paulo was pretty sure in this case, three wouldn’t be company.
Especially when he’d planned on having Law all to himself again tonight, because the man goddamned owed him.
Paulo had never expected him to show again—let alone at midnight last night, but that’s exactly what had happened. He’d been about to pop in
The Transporter 2
when the banging started—his first thought went to Law, because not too many people could bypass the lock on the main front door that easily.
He’d opened it to find the man standing there, looking as damned good as always. “Let me in.”
“Fuck you.” Paulo held the door so there was no way Law could enter except by kicking the door down, and you know what—he wouldn’t put it past him.
“Yeah. Come on, Paulo.”
His body started up the second the man started talking.
“I’m an idiot,” he muttered but Law reached through the door and put a finger under his chin. “No, not you. Me.”
Paulo stared into the truth in those blue eyes, which also held an apology.
“Please, Paulo, let me in all the way,” Law implored, and whether he was asking Paulo to open the door to his apartment or something more, it didn’t matter.
He was asking, and Paulo relented, released his grip on the door, allowing Law to come inside and gather Paulo in his arms.
“Where’ve you been?” was asked as Law’s mouth was on his. And then Law mentioned his dreams between kisses that were nearly punishing in their need.
Paulo’s clothes were off and he’d found himself on his back on his mattress as Law showed him just how much he missed him. Showed him with his mouth and tongue and teeth and touch, showed him when he refused to take his eyes from Paulo, even when they both came to a shuddering climax.
“Hope you didn’t have plans,” Law said, pressing himself against Paulo.
“I was going to watch a movie.”
“Want me to leave?”
“No.”
“Good.”
They never made it more than a quarter of a way through the film, no matter how many times they started it, and neither man cared.
Looking at Law now, as he wrestled with everything, Paulo couldn’t help but wonder what would’ve happened if Styx hadn’t barreled back into Law’s life and left this wreckage in his wake.
But even as Paulo was angered by that, he knew Styx was hurting, that this was the last thing he’d wanted to do to Law.
Fate always had a way of intervening. Pushed everyone in the right direction. The thing with fate though, was that someone always got hurt. Paulo knew that this time, it would be him. So for the time being, he’d climb into bed with Law and take comfort in Law’s body close to his for as long as he had the man.
“What’s the deal with this guy?” he asked finally.
“Styx has no memory of his childhood before the age of sixteen. This has to have something to do with his past.”
“And somehow, the man with our picture in his pocket is connected to Styx?”
“When Styx left, he never told me why. I haven’t seen him for ten years. Even before that, I only saw him a few times from when we were nineteen until I turned twenty-four.”
“When you saw him again, how did you not demand an answer?” Paulo asked but he knew, judging by the flush on Law’s face that their reunion had consisted of fucking until the sun came up and Styx no doubt leaving before that to avoid talking.
“I knew he was in the CIA. Knew that, even without an explanation of what had happened, his job could keep us apart. I always assumed his family had something to do with his memory, his disappearance, but he could never find out anything about his past. After a while, he stopped looking and things were okay.” He stared at Paulo for a long moment. “When he came to live with us, he didn’t even remember his name. He doesn’t know his own damned name.”
Law’s voice grew hoarse for a second. His description of Styx’s life made Paulo think slightly differently of the tall man alone in the other room—and Paulo knew what he needed to do.
Still it made his heart ache to have to push Law away, but it was what was best for him. “Go talk to Styx—now.”
“No. Not tonight.”
“He wants to tell you, but I can’t blame him for not wanting to talk in front of me, even if it’s affecting my life. Go to him—shut the door and talk. I’ll be fine.”
All Law could say was, “Paulo.”
But Paulo pulled back, and he was being far more mature than he wanted to be. “You’re confused.”
“Yes.”
“I’m not the one you want in your bed tonight.”
“Is that permission?”
“More like realism.”
“I’m sorry—about all of this,” Law told him.
“I knew you loved someone else, remember?”
“I don’t want you giving up on us.”
“Us? What us is there?” Paulo asked, but there wasn’t any rancor in his tone. How could there be? “Styx is the love of your life and you only get one, if you’re lucky.”
“Paulo, wait—”
“What? You’re going to tell me we can still be friends?”
“Styx won’t stick around.”
“Oh, so I’m your back-up.”
“No.” Law yanked Paulo to him hard. “You are not that at all. You’re the first man I’ve been with more than once since Styx, ten years ago. That’s how
non
-back-up you are.”
He brought his mouth down on Paulo’s, hard and punishing, wouldn’t let up till Paulo responded, which he couldn’t help but do. His hands fisted at his sides as he tried not to grab and touch Law, lick him up and down the way he wanted to, until Law couldn’t remember his own name, never mind Styx’s.
But after a long moment of resisting, he lifted his arms and wrapped them around Law, pushing him back against the wall and taking some of the control he so desperately craved in this situation.
Surprisingly, Law didn’t resist at all, let Paulo press him, grind against him, kiss him deeply until both were breathing heavily. He wondered how fast he could undress Law, if he could hold his arms above his head, spread his legs and fuck him…if he wanted that or if he wanted Law to fill him.
Law’s hands were on his ass, pulling Paulo closer, the friction delicious and could send them both over the edge like a couple of teenagers dry humping in their car. Paulo’s skin felt too tight, his muscles taut and God, he wanted to come. Needed to.
“Fuck yeah,” he murmured against the man’s mouth.
“Yes.”
It would be so easy to do this, to sink to the floor, strip naked and just screw until he blotted everything out. But that wasn’t going to solve anything and he’d let Law fuck away their problems too many times in their short time together.
He backed off, tearing himself away, leaving Law with swollen lips, a flushed face and a hard-on. “You need to find out everything. For your safety.”
“Yours too.”
“This is between you and Styx.”
Paulo had almost felt sorry for Styx earlier because he caught a glimpse of the quick flash of pain in Styx’s eyes, and the way he looked at Law…dammit, it was the way Paulo had always wanted someone to look at him.
At times, like last night, he’d thought he’d caught Law looking at him with more than simple lust but he’d convinced himself it was a trick of the light.
Noting the way Law looked at Styx, Paulo knew he’d been right.
There was no fighting this. He was sending Law to Styx and he had no doubt they’d end up in bed together. The fact that it stung was his problem. “Go to him.”
Law leaned his head against the wall and drew a deep breath. Fixed his shirt, adjusted his balls and ran his hands through his hair. After a few more moments of letting his arousal wind down, he pushed off and headed to the door that adjoined the rooms.
He looked back at Paulo one last time, grimaced, like it was painful to leave, and Paulo wanted to believe it was.
“Go now, LC.”
“Law,” he said firmly. “I want you to call me Law.”
Paulo bit back a smart-ass remark and told him quietly, “Okay, Law, go.”
“I like the way you say it,” Law said, just as quietly, and then he left to go to Styx.
Chapter Three
Okay, Law, go.
With Paulo’s voice enmeshed in his mind, Law opened the door and walked into Styx’s room without knocking. Caught between his present and his past, he couldn’t shake the feeling that his future lay somewhere in between.
Styx lay on his back on the bed staring at the ceiling, just as Law had left him. The man had rarely slept when they were younger and Law saw nothing had changed. If anything, Styx’s job probably exacerbated his insomnia.
“You’re done with the boy that quickly and quietly?” Styx smirked.
“Ah, fuck off. And he’s not a boy.”
“You tell him that I already got you off tonight?”
Coming in here had been a mistake. “I won’t hurt him—and I won’t let you.”
“You’re serious about him.”
“We haven’t been together long,” Law said, surprised the word
together
came out of his mouth that easily, surprised that he didn’t deny anything.
“But you like him,” Styx persisted.
“He’s the first man I’ve been with more than once since you,” he admitted, and Styx just stared at him. “What? That makes me an idiot, right? Because I’m sure you’ve had your share of relationships.”
“Ah, Law, come on. There’s been no one worth shit since you. You have to know that,” Styx said softly.
“I don’t know what to make of anything.”
“It hasn’t been easy on me either. You gotta believe that. All these years, and you had Damon. I was alone, by necessity. But it still hurt.”
“By choice,” Law insisted as he sat on the edge of the bed, where Styx still lay on his back. “I would’ve gone with you. Hell, Damon might’ve too, or you could’ve stayed and we could’ve figured a way out of whatever it was together.”
“I always thought…” Styx shook his head. “Forget it.”
“What?”
“I thought we had forever. A stupid kid’s dream.”
“It wasn’t stupid. I wanted that, too.” Law paused. “What happened?”
“My past showed, and the only way to keep you and Damon safe was to leave. It was the only way, or I’d never have stayed apart from you.” Styx sat up for a moment, moved closer to press his face to Law’s shoulder. “You have to believe me.”
“I do believe you. But you had sixteen years to tell me. I deserve an explanation,” Law said quietly, and Styx didn’t dispute that but he still didn’t jump right into the story.
“Why did Paulo let you sneak away?”
“He’s the one who told me to come in here. He knew you would rather talk to me in private.”
Styx snorted but he didn’t say anything more, just moved away to lie down again. This time, Law joined him, lying on his side to face Styx.
“You sure you’re ready for this?” Styx asked.
“Since the second I met you,” Law told him, and Styx smiled but it was short-lived.
“The more you know, the more danger for both of you,” Styx said. “Shit, you have no idea…been keeping you safe for sixteen years…for nothing.”
“Tell me. Come on…there’s too much history between us.”
“My memory,” he started, then stopped just as abruptly.
“You remember?”
“Not exactly. But someone’s been filling in the blanks for me. And now I’ve got a few more pieces of puzzle, including my birth certificate.”
Styx looked haunted, and so wiped that Law didn’t want to make him continue. He’d always wanted to protect Styx from all the dark spaces in his own brain. Wanted to protect Styx from everything.
And so he drew Styx’s mouth to his, kissed him so well the present melded into the past and they were teens on a twin bed, exploring something beyond simply fucking for the first time. If it was possible to go back in time, they were there, with nothing stopping them from fucking and spending every waking moment together. Styx’s tongue played with his, and Law pushed Styx back and climbed on him, wanting him with an immediacy that couldn’t be helped.
Styx’s hands tangled in his hair when Law straddled him and Law ground his jean-clad cock against Styx’s, hearing the moans from the man under him. God, it would be so easy to erase all their pain, to fall back into Styx, to run away with him.
Except it wasn’t both of them alone. There was Paulo now…and there were sixteen years of explanations needed.
There was so damned much to figure out. And so he pulled away from Styx reluctantly, then just pressed his forehead to the other man’s for a long moment.
“Tell me everything, Styx,” he urged hoarsely.
The
problem was, Styx still didn’t remember everything. Or really, anything—he was still working off of another person’s word, another person’s threats.
But that person called himself his father, and Styx looked so much like him, it left little room for doubt. “My father found me three months ago. And it’s not the first time.”
“Then he’s the reason you took off in the first place.”
God, Law looked so hurt when he spoke those words, and that had been the last thing Styx intended, then and now.
His friend and former lover looked the same—the few lines here and there did nothing to diminish his looks—a handsome fucking angel who’d always been there for him.
Styx looked toward the door and wondered what the hell Paulo was thinking in there alone, knowing Law was in here with his ex.
Avoidance was futile. If they were going to be locked up together indefinitely, he’d have to come clean to Law. If Paulo wanted to know, he could hear it from Law. But Styx could barely tell the man he loved, let alone a practical stranger.
Except Paulo didn’t seem like such a stranger to him. Which was disturbing and fascinating at the same time.
“Styx.” Law put his hand on Styx’s shoulder to bring him back to the story, and he launched into the explanation without further delay.