But the temperature was rising, and soon the hot, muggy air felt like a sweating gorilla sitting on my chest. Peeling myself off the couch, I turned the fan in the front window on high and glanced at the sky. Enormous thunderheads billowed like neon white mushrooms above the building tops along Lunt Avenue. A storm was brewing. Well, let it. Maybe it would cool things off . . . though it would probably bring Denny and Josh home sooner than they'd like.
A CRACK OF THUNDER so loud it nearly split the house in two sent me flying off the couch like an electric shock. Where was I? . . . Why was it so dark? . . . It took a few seconds to realize I'd dozed off over my book.
I looked at my watch in the greenish gloom. Four-thirty! I should be leaving if I wanted to get to Yada Yada on time. “Denny?” I called out. No answer. Why wasn't he home? He'd promised!
Well, I'd get myself completely ready so I could dash when he got here with the car. No call from Chanda . . . that was good. I wouldn't have to take extra time picking her up. Hoped that meant she had a ride.
At twenty minutes to five, I was standing on the front porch, eyeing each car that came by with its headlights on. No rain yet, but flashes of lightning periodically lit up the brooding sky followed by grumbles of thunder.
I kept glancing at my watch: 4:45 . . . 4:50 . . . Where
was
Denny? He couldn't still be playing ballânot with the skies about to open the floodgates.
I'm not sure what made me go out to the garage, except it was five minutes to five, there was no sign of my husband, and I was mad. Leaving my tote bag with my Bible and notebook on the front porch, I covered the distance between front porch and garage in determined strides. The garage, of course, was empty. And so was the corner where I'd stashed the six-packs under the bushel basket.
“Hellooo!” Denny's voice wafted out the back door. “Car's out front.”
I stormed into the house. Denny, his sweats covered with grass stains and mud streaks, was washing his hands at the kitchen sink. “You're late,” I snapped. “Now I'll be late.”
“Whoa!” He shook the water off his hands and reached for a hand towel. “You told me to have the car back by five o'clock.” He pointed to the kitchen clock. “At the tone, it is now . . . five o'clock.”
“Very funny. I said I had to
be there
by five. I should've left twenty minutes ago.” I could smell the beer on his breath. “You've been drinking,” I said flatly. “How many did you have?”
Denny's eyes narrowed. “Jodi, give it a
rest,
will ya?”
“You took the beer from the garage.”
“So? You don't want it around the house. Might as well enjoy it with the guys.” He threw the hand towel on the counter and headed for the shower. “Oh!” he tossed over his shoulder. “It looked like rain, so I took Larry home first.”
“Oh,
right.”
I followed Denny right on his heels. “You took Larry home first. You shouldn't even be driving, Denny Baxter.”
Denny whirled at the bathroom door. “What is
that
supposed to mean?”
I crossed my arms and stared him down. “I can smell it on your breath. And if I can smell it, so could a cop! What if you'd had an accident? What if you got arrested on a DUI? What then, Denny? Your career as a coach would be over in a
blink
ânot to mention any ministry with the guys at Uptown. Ever think of that, Denny? Huh?”
Denny was breathing hard, the muscles in his jaw pulsing.
The words kept coming. It was like I couldn't stop. I didn't even know whether I was mad or scared or worried or what. “And what about our reputation as a family? What about the kids? What about
me?
Don't you care?”
Denny snorted and leaned an arm on the doorpost. “Me? Nah. In fact, I did it on purpose. I said to myself, âHow can I make Jodi mad? I know, I'll give Larry a rideâthat ought to waste ten minutesâ and make Jodi late! And then, we'll get rip-roarin' drunk. That oughta be good for another ten.' ” He rolled his eyes. “Sheesh!” Turning on his heel, he slammed the bathroom door behind him.
“Don't shut the door in my face!” I screamed. But the only sound on the other side of the door was the shower jets, turned on full force.
Shaking with anger, I glanced at my watch. Five-ten. Now I
really
was going to be late. I didn't even feel like going to Yada Yada . . . but no way did I want to just stand there being ignored, either. I stomped past Willie Wonka, who stood staring at me, tail hanging motionless, as I snatched up my tote bag on the front porch and headed for the minivan, which Denny had parked across the street.
Before I even got the door open, the clouds let loose.
By the time I got inside, slamming the door shut behind me, I was soaked.
“Oh, great,” I seethed, turning on the ignition and flipping on the lights and windshield wipers. “This is just great. I'm going to look a mess.”
I jerked the wheel and pulled the minivan out of the parking spot, slightly grazing the bumper of the car parked in front of me. Well, who cared. Not me. Denny shouldn't have parked so tight in that spot.
I clicked the wipers to their highest speed, but I still had a hard time seeing between the foggy windshield inside and the huge splats of rain coming fast and furious on the outside. But I navigated west toward Clark Street, the main drag that would take me north into Evanston.
Tears of frustration and anger rose to the surface. Why couldn't Denny just say, “I'm sorry” when he blew it instead of getting all defensive? I might still be late, but that certainly would've helped.
Not only that, but if I'd left
on time
I wouldn't have to drive in this deluge, either.
The windshield wipers chased the rain from side to side in a hopeless frenzy, but so far the downpour had showed no signs of slowing down. Had I even remembered to bring Nony's directions how to get to her house? They lived somewhere close to the university, in one of the north Evanston neighborhoods. It was going to be hard to see street signs and house numbers if the rain didn't break soon.
Clark Street was extra busy. A long row of headlights came toward me in the premature darkness; a long row of red taillights sparkled in the rain in front of me. Even as I gripped the steering wheel of the minivan, I tried to get a grip on my feelings. I didn't want to show up at Yada Yada mad as a wet hen and have to confess that Denny and I had just had a big fight about his drinkingâwhat would that sound like? Besides, maybe it wasn't all Denny's fault. Had I just been mad at him for being late? Had I overreacted . . . again?
Up ahead, the next two lights turned green. Good. I'd make it through the first one for sure . . . could I make the next one at Howard Street, too? Howard was the east-west border between Chicago and Evanston, at which point Clark Street became Chicago Avenue, a nice long stretch before another light. I pushed the accelerator slightly, keeping an eye on the speedometer to make sure it stayed near thirty miles per hour, even as the rain continued to hammer the roof.
The traffic moved steadily . . . I was going to make it . . . keep going, Jodi, don't slow down . . . just a couple more car lengths . . .
I was watching the light and didn't see the small hooded figure dash out into the street until I was almost upon it. “Oh God!” I yelled and stomped on the brake. I felt the car skid under me . . . in front of my headlights a face jerked my wayâjust a kid!
I jerked the wheel, but the car kept sliding sideways . . . I felt a sickening
thump . . .
“Noooooo!” I screamed, and only at the last second saw a pair of headlights heading straight for my driver's-side windowâ
I
'm swimming . . . upward toward the light . . . all is silent
around me, the silence of the ocean beneath the waves . . .
but my lungs are bursting . . . pain wracks my side . . . I
must break the surface and get a breath . . . but I can't move my arms
. . . why can't I move? . . . voices . . . there are voices, but I don't know
what they're saying . . . blurry faces above the water's surface . . . I must
break through . . . must struggle to the top . . . must get a breathâ
“She's coming around.”
I hear the voice . . . close, so close, but just out of reach . . . the light
behind my eyelids is bright . . . did I break the surface? . . . why does it
hurt to breathe? . . . if I reach out my hands, will I be saved? . . . but,
God, I can't move my arms!
“Jodi? Jodi Baxter? Can you open your eyes?”
With great effort, I managed to crack open my right eyeâthen
closed it again against the bright light just inches from my face.
But try as I would, I could not open my left eye.
“Jodi, can you hear me?” The voice was male. Insistent. Kind.
Yes! Yes, I can hear you!
I tried to nod . . . but the most I could manage was a twitch. Panic rose in my throat like bile. Why couldn't I move my head? Why couldn't I move
period?
A hand touched my arm. “Easy, Jodi,” said the voice, “don't struggle. We've got you in a cervical collar and strapped to a backboard to keep you immobileâjust until we can assess your injuries.”
Injuries? What injuries?
“What . . . where am I?”Was that croaking my voice? My lips felt dry and cracked, the words dry and cracked, too. Once again, I tried to open my eyes and found myself staring with one eye at a bright light at the end of a long metal arm.
A masked face moved between me and the light and looked down.The masculine voice behind the mask said, “Jodi, I am Doctor Lewinski, St. Francis Hospital. You've been in a car accident. We've called your husbandâhe'll be here soon. But we're going to take you to get some x-rays, okay? Can you tell me what hurts?”
What hurts?
I wanted to take a deep breath, but anything beyond tiny, rapid breaths sent fire shooting across my chest. “Chest . . . side,” I croaked. I forced my mind to roam over my body, trying to pinpoint the pain. “And . . . my leg . . . thigh . . .”
“Okay, good girl. We're going to take care of that . . . just hang on. We'll get those x-rays so we know what we're dealing with.”
“JODI? Jodi, it's Denny.”
The familiar voice pulled me once more through the fog into the light. I willed both eyes to open. Denny's face hovered close to mine. Seeing the crinkles at the corners of his eyes, feeling his breath on my skin, sent a tear sliding down my cheek. “Denny . . .”
“That's one heck of a shiner you got there, babe.” I could hear both tenderness and terror in his voice.
“Denny . . . whatâ?”
“Shh, shh, don't talk. Just want you to know I'm here.”
I closed my eyes. Everything was going to be all right. Denny was here.
“MR. AND MRS. BAXTER?” A tallish man with close-cropped brown hair and angular features parted the curtain and came into the narrow examining space. “I'm Doctor Lewinski, chief resident of the ER.” Through my cracked lids I saw the doctorâ
sans
maskâshake Denny's hand. “We've got some good news.”
Good news . . . good news, he said . . .
Dr. Lewinski consulted the clipboard he held in one hand. “Jodi's CAT scan shows no epidural or subdural hematoma, in spite of the nasty knock she got on the left side of her head. X-ray of her spine is normal, which is why we took her off the board and got rid of the collar.”
I felt Denny grope for my hand and squeeze.
“Also, no collapsed lungâwhich can easily happen if a broken rib punctures the lung.”
“Broken rib . . .” Denny sounded dazed.
“Several. That's giving her the most pain right now. But the left femur x-ray shows a midshaft fracture. We've got it splinted and wrapped in cold packs to keep the swelling down, but we'll have to put a rod in there, as soon as we're sure she's stabilized. And . . .” The doctor paused.
“And?” Denny repeated. I could hear the fear creep back into his voice.
“The CAT scan of her abdomen shows a badly ruptured spleen. We may be able to treat it without surgery as long as she's stable.”
“What about . . . the cut on her head, and all the swelling? You know, her eye . . .”
“Superficial. A few stitches, mostly in the hairlineâyou won't even be able to see the scar.”
Through my half-opened eyes, I watched Dr. Lewinski walk around the end of the bed and come close to me. “Don't mean to talk about you in third person, Mrs. Baxterâmay I call you Jodi? Once the swelling goes down, you'll have a beaut of a black eye, but that'll go away in a week or two . . . Oh, by the way. You have visitors.” He nodded soberly and headed for the door. “I'll send them inâbut only for a few minutes.”
My fingers curled around Denny's hand.
Don't leave me . . . don't
leave me.
“Mom!” Amanda's voice bounced into the room just ahead of her distraught face. “Ohmigosh! Dadâwhat happened? Mom?”
I could see Josh, tall and grim-faced, right behind his sister.
“Mom? What happened?” Amanda asked again.
I searched for words. “I . . . don't know . . . don't remember.”
“But there's copsâ”
“Not now, Amanda.” Denny's voice was suddenly sharp. “Just give your mom some love, and we can talk later. The doctor was just here . . . good news! Mostly.”
Amanda opened her mouth, but a shake of Denny's head shut it again. She bent over the railing and kissed me gently on the right side of my face. “Oh, Mom, get better real quick, okay?”