Standing there in his boxers asking us to pray, Denny looked about as vulnerable as I'd ever seen him.
T
he next morning the typical Baxter hurry-scurry kicked in, but we all managed to get out of the house roughly on time. Denny drove Josh and Amanda to Lane Tech in the “new” used minivan for their first day, then he headed for West Rogers High. I stuck the books I'd mended, the last pieces of my Welcome Bulletin Board, and a pair of loafers into my tote bag and headed out for the twenty-minute walk to Bethune Elementary.
I actually found myself looking forward to the first day of school.
Hoo boy!
Now if that wasn't a miracle!
Must have been the prayer with Denny last night. We'd just held each other in the dark in the living room, pouring out all the confusion and upset we'd both been feeling, telling Jesus it had been a rotten summer. We didn't know what to do about MaDear. Getting robbed in our own home had been terrifying. We also thanked God for a lot of stuff. Like Josh and Amanda and the rest of Uptown's youth getting home safely from Mexico and having a great time building houses with Habitat for Humanity. For the strength our Yada Yada sisters had poured into both of us with their prayers and their presence during those awful days following the accident. That the charges against me got dropped, and I was healing fast. That Denny still had a job at the high school.
Once we started, it seemed like there were so many things to pray about: Carla coming home to her family and starting a new school, Hoshi and her distraught parents, and even MaDear and the painful memories that haunted her.
“Good thing God is God all by Himself!” I'd muttered after our final amen. Florida's favorite phrase. “I'd sure hate to sort out all the stuff we just dumped in God's lap.” That set us off laughingâ but oh, my mutilated abdomen still hurt when I laughed.
I felt free this morning. Sort of like that old hymn, “Take your burden to the Cross and leave it there” . . . or something like that.
Hadn't thought about that one for ages. We didn't sing hymns too often at Uptown Community, not like we did in the little Bible church I grew up in. I wondered if I had a hymnal somewhere; I could look it up.
Walking to school and carrying my heavy tote bag turned out to be a bit optimistic for the first day, because my left leg ached something fierce by the time I got there. But I was early enough to take a couple of pain relievers and told myself I'd make it through the day okay.
My student teacher was already in our classroom, looking as cute as Betty Boop with her short, dark, curly hair and a simple pale-blue jersey dress bringing out the blue in her eyes. “Blue is definitely your color, Christy,” I said, giving her a hug.
She seemed a little flustered by the hug but gave me a big smile. “I'm really nervous, Ms. Baxter.” She nodded toward the bank of windows that looked out on the playground. “All those children . . .”
“Feel free to call me Jodi when the children aren't around,” I started unloading my tote bag, “but get used to being called âMs. James' when they are.”
She giggled. “That will be so weird.”
We set to work putting the finishing touches to the bulletin board. Christy had cut out each child's name in colorful bubble letters. Below each name I stapled a construction-paper cloud with the meaning of the child's name written in black letters.
“That is so cool, Ms. Baxâ . . . um, Jodi.” Christy studied the board.
The hands of the clock nudged toward 8:40. “Grab that class roster,” I told Christy, heading for the door with a square of laminated paper that read “3-A.”We made it to the playground just as the lineup bell rang. I held up the “3-A” sign, hoping parents had told their children which classroom they were in. A passel of energetic boys got in line pushing and shoving, their oversized backpacks bumping about on their skinny rumps. Most of the girls held back, out of the way of the pushers. I smiled at the first boy in line: a handsome child with hazelnut skin, brown eyes so dark they were almost black, and a nearly shaved head. Hmm. Without the hair I couldn't be sure about ethnicityâcould be African-American or Middle Eastern. “What's your name, young man?” I asked.
“Xavier!” He shouted it out almost defiantly. The boy behind him giggled.
Still could be almost anything.
The final bell rang.
Okay, Lord, this is it. See this line? They're
mine for the year. Correction. They're Yours for the year. I'd appreciate a
little help. Make that a lot of help.
I led them through the metal detectors that had been installed after 9-11 and down the hall to 3-A. Then I stood in the doorway as they jostled into the room.
As soon as each studentâthirty-one of them!âfound the desk with his or her name taped on it, I introduced “Ms. James” as my “team teacher” and wrote both our names on the chalkboard. We ran through the usual classroom rulesâRespect People, Respect Property, Respect Yourselfâand added my own clarifications: “When the teacher is talking, you're listening. Raise your hand if you have a question or need to use the washroom. No punching or spitting on other people.”
Immediately there were a lot of spitting noises. I groaned to myself.
Shouldn't have given them the idea.
I moved to the Welcome Bulletin Board while Christy sent the first child to join me. “Can you find your name?” I said to the little girl with three fat ponytail braids wrapped on each end with colorful rubber-band balls. She pointed to her name in bubble letters: Jade. “Can you read what your name means underneath?”
She squinted. “Jewel?” She looked up at me.
“Yes.” I smiled. “Jade is a special kind of jewel, a very rich green color.” I leaned toward her and spoke in a loud stage whisper. “Green is one of my favorite colors.”
I was rewarded with a smile, and Christy tapped the next student, a pug-nosed kid sporting an army-style buzz cut. “Cornell,” he announced, pointing to his name. He studied the cloud underneath his name. “Horn blower?” he scoffed. “What's a horn blower?”
The other children laughed, but I held up my hand with a warning look. “Someone who can play a trumpet or a trombone or maybe one of those big baritone horns.” I raised a quizzical eyebrow. “Did you ever think about joining the school band?”
“I don't got no horn!”
“You might want to think about it,” I said, “with a name like that.”
Now several hands shot up in the air, but Christy continued alternating a girl, then a boy, from different areas of the room. When Britny read, “From England,” under her name, she scowled. “I ain't from no England.” She certainly wasn't; she was as African-American as they come.
“But that's what your name means. Maybe . . .” I thought fast. “Maybe you could learn some things about England and tell the rest of the class. And maybe . . .” I whispered in her ear. “Maybe someday you will travel to England and see the queen!”
“Okay,” she said and practically skipped back to her desk.
Now hands were flying everywhere. Everybodyâwell, almost everybodyâwanted to know what their name meant. I tried to make a positive comment for each one, shamelessly bending some of them toward positive classroom behavior.
Ramónâ“Mighty Protector.”
“Ah! Ramón must be our class protector. He's going to protect anybody from getting bullied by somebody else.”
“Yeah,” agreed Ramón. “Any of you guys bully a little kid, I'm gonna smack you in the face.” Laughter erupted once more, and I had to make sure Ramón knew that was
not
what I meant.
Xavierâ“Bright.”
“Do you know what âbright' means, Xavier?”
“Yeah.” He spread his fingers on either side of his face, like sun rays. “I glow in the dark!”
Now the class was laughing nonstop. I was losing them. Just then the door opened quietly, and Avis slipped into the room.
Oh
no.
I forgot that each classroom got a visit from the principal on the first day. She couldn't have come at a worse time!
I held up one hand like a traffic cop and waited till the children quieted. Then I turned back to Xavier. “Yes, that's one meaning of bright, like a dazzling light. It also means smartâvery smart.” I tapped the side of my head. “I think you are going to show us this year just how smart you are, don't you?”
Xavier strutted back to his desk, and I introduced “Ms. Johnson, our principal,” who gave a little pep talk to the children about being good citizens of our school community and the importance of respect, rules, and teamwork. As she slipped back out the door, she caught my eye and tipped her head toward the bulletin board. “Clever.”
The knot in my stomach untied.
Oh God, thank You for Avis!
We went back to the meaning of our names, but when Christy tapped one boy on the shoulder, he scowled and scooted deeper in his seat. “Don't wanna. It's stupid.”
I walked to where I could see his name on his desk. “Hakim?” I was surprised at his reluctance, but didn't want to force it. Instead I went back to the bulletin board and found his name. “Hakim . . . âwise healer.' ”
Oh dear.
I had no idea how to apply that to an eight-year-old. “Maybe,” I tried, “you will be a doctor someday.”
“Don't wanna be a doctor.” The boy's tone was fierce. “They ain't no good anyway.”
Okay. Better just leave it alone.
We moved on to the few remaining students.
THE TWO-THIRTY BELL RANG. The class started a stampede for the door, and we had to sit everyone down again and start over. “Line up! Everybody got your backpack and take-home folders? If you didn't bring the items on the supply list your parents got in the mail, there's a copy of that list in your folder.”
As Christy led the line out the door, Britny suddenly stepped out of line and stood in front of me. “How come your name and hers”âshe pointed at Christy's backâ“ain't on the board? What do your names mean?”
We weren't supposed to use our first names with the children, but to tell the truth, I hadn't had time to look them up.
Jodi . . .
Christy . . .
That would be interesting. I gave Britny a quick hug.
“I don't know. Good question. I'll have to look them up.”
I was so tired and achy when I got home, I just wanted to soak in the tub and crawl into bed. Amanda came home upset because she didn't get the teacher she wanted for Spanish II, and for a while there was a lot of door slamming between her room and the bathroom. Josh was his usual minimalist self, offering “Okay” and “Not really” to my questions about his first day as a senior.
Humph.
So much for good communication with my teenagers. I took some iced tea out on the back porch, intending to sulk. Instead, the same hymn I'd been humming on the way to school popped back into my head. “Take your burden to the Cross and leave it there . . .” No, that wasn't quite right. What was it?
I dragged myself back into the house, found the red hymnal we used back at our church in Downers Grove, and turned to the index. There it was on page 353: “Leave It There.” Except the actual phrase was, “Take your burden to the
Lord
and leave it there.”
I squinted at the author: Charles A. Tindley. Wrote both the words and the music. Who in the world was he? I'd heard of Charles Wesley and Fanny Crosby, but Tindley? Curious, I looked in the author index to see if he wrote anything else. Yep. “Nothing between my soul and the Savior . . .”
Hmm.
I knew that one too.
I heard the back door bang. “Denny? Who's Charles Tindley?”
Denny appeared in the archway to the living room where I was sprawled in the recliner with the hymnal, his gym bag slung over his shoulder. “Hi to you too. Am I supposed to know this guy? I'm starving. What's for supper?”
He had to be kidding. He sounded like an Archie Bunker rerun. “Leftovers,” I snarled. “Or PB&Js. Or we could go out to Siam Pasta. I'm beat.”We didn't often take the kids out to eatâ not with their hollow legsâbut, hey, we had all survived our first day of school. Cause for celebration. And Siam Pasta passed the test for a five-star rating from the Baxters: good food, lots of it, cheap.
Denny shrugged. “Why not? Beats PB&Js.”
It actually turned out to be a good idea, because once we got the kids trapped in a restaurant boothâno phone, no distractions, no place to goâwe actually got more lowdown about their first day of school. As for Denny, he said things went okay on the first day, though he had a lot of ideas that could improve communication among the coaching staff. “Though I don't think the athletic director wants to hear them from me,” he grumbled. “Maybe he'll retire, and I can apply for his job.”
I got a laugh out of Josh when I told them about our “mighty protector” threatening to smack anybody who bullied another kid. “Got the idea of looking up the meaning of their names from you, Amanda,” I said. “Well, from Delores, really, when she said your name means âlovable' in Spanish.”
Amanda glared.
“Mom!
You weren't supposed to tell anybody!”
Oh. Right.
Yet already I could see that trying to take it back would be like trying to retrieve dandelion fuzz after blowing it off its stem. I was sure the cogs in Josh's brain were clicking away, devising ways to hold this interesting fact over his sister's head. “Well, then, I'll just have to make the same rule for the family I made for the kids in my class: You can't use the meaning of somebody's name to tease them.”
Oh, sure.
Revived somewhat by supper “out,” my curiosity got the best of me and I turned on the computer. No e-mail messages from Yada Yadaâeverybody was probably too busy recovering from the first day of school. I wondered how Carla Hickman's first day went. Did Florida get her registered? I decided not to call. The Hickman family needed space to adjust to this new wrinkleâa
miracle
wrinkleâin their lives.