Authors: Gerald Seymour
He asked them where the bus went. They were in their best as if they had visited family or friends. The bus went to Seevetal.
Was there a railway station at Seevetal? They showed no willingness to engage in conversation with the vagrant who shared their shelter. There was a railway station there.
Where did the trains go to from Seevetal? They sniffed in unison, as if he disgusted them - to Hamburg, Rotenburg and Bremen.
Malachy's head dropped. The tiredness came in waves across him. He thought of two young women.
One had turned her face from him, one had kissed him and he dreamed . . . The sharp jab of a bony elbow woke him, and he walked behind them to board the bus. In his mind was only pain and the sight of the one young woman, his wife.
* * *
25 January 2004
'For God's sake, don't you understand anything? No way
was I going to traipse down to Brize Norton. What did you
think I was going to do? Hold up a bloody banner on the
apron, "Welcome Home to My Hero"? Don't you know
what you've done to me?'
The doorbell rang.
He might at least have shown some fight, but he played
what they called him, 'a gutless bastard', and denied
nothing. Just said, each and every time, that he didn't know
what had happened. In denial: that was what her father had
said on the phone when Roz had called him an hour ago,
denying it because he couldn't face what he'd done - and
her father had said he was right behind his girl for not meeting the aircraft in from Basra.
The doorbell rang again, as if this time a finger was on
the button and staying there ... It was now eight days, on
the corps's calendar in the kitchen, since 'it' had happened,
whatever it was, and six days since the gossip mill in
Alamein Drive had produced the whisper. He'd come home
the afternoon before, like a rat running, with a train
warrant and a taxi from Bedford station. He'd tried to kiss
her when he'd dumped his bag down - no bloody chance.
Explanations were what she'd demanded, but all she'd had
was the whimper that he didn't know what had happened,
like that was supposed to be enough for her.
The bloody bell kept ringing.
It had all been explained to her in the secretariat, while
he'd been on the train and coming home. Resignation would
be best, and then a quiet departure - no future. The papers
would be sent round. God, there were some hateful bitches
in Alamein Drive! So she'd entertained a couple of guys -
what was the big deal? Just Jerry and Algy, and maybe
they'd stayed till late, or was it early? Didn't half the
bitches entertain a friend when the husband was away? If
he'd fought, Roz could have believed him. All that last
evening, she had followed him round the house and
demanded to know if it were true: was he, her husband, a
'gutless bastard'? Doors slamming behind him, he'd
retreated, but she'd followed. Through the kitchen, the dining
room, the sitting room, out into the garden where the whole
bloody world of Alamein Drive would hear her yelled
question, but not the answer. She'd slept in her bed; he'd
used the sitting-room sofa. She'd shopped that morning,
every curtain in Alamein Drive twitching as she'd gone to
the car, and twitching again when she'd come back and
offloaded the plastic bags - like it was she who had done it.
'Right bloody entertaining for me, my husband called a
coward. I don't suppose you thought of that.'
Maybe if he'd hit her it would have been better. He was
slumped at the kitchen table and he winced each time she
attacked. She spun.
She crossed the hall. Roz's dad, retired sergeant - a man
who had spent the best part of his service in ditches in
Ireland knowing that if a farmer's dog located him it was
down to a Browning 9mm automatic to stop him being
bloody tortured, then slotted, by the Provos - her dad had
said on the phone that her room was all shipshape at home
for her, that she should ditch the useless bastard.
The padre, who doubled as the welfare officer - and
wanted everyone to call him Luke - was at the door.
She said curtly, 'Yes, Luke, good to see you. Before you
ask, is it convenient? No.'
The old fart had papers in his hands, shuffled them in his
fingers.
7
brought these round, and I wanted to know how
he was.'
She did it mock-brightly, a little flutter in her voice. 'He's
fine. Nothing wrong with him. Quite himself- why shouldn't
he be? Sort of everyday thing, isn't it, being labelled as a
runner, a cop-out, a coward? He's in good shape.'
'I'm very sorry.'
'I doubt you're half as sorry as me.'
'He'll have to go. No choice but to resign his commission.
It's not something you can come back from. I wish it were.'
'Marked with it, yes.'
'It could be said, Mrs Kitchen, that a little too much
revelry went on here in his absence. Frankly, that's what I
heard from Major Arnold. He was quite distressed but
thought he ought to tell me. If Mal had heard about them,
your visitors, then that might account for a poor performance in a combat situation.'
'He would only have heard such lies, Luke, if bloody nosy
sods had passed them on. Is that right?'
Only over her dead body was the padre entering her
home. Roz stood square in the doorway. A woman, nearly
opposite, had found a reason to visit her wheelie dustbin.
Another woman, down the drive, had come out of her home
with a brush and started sweeping her path. Be a bloody
shame when their entertainment ended, but she'd be gone
before the next day broke. He was flushed and had a twitch
at the side of his chin. He rubbed a mole there with the hand
holding the papers.
'I have to say, Mrs Kitchen, that I was monumentally
disappointed to hear of this. I thought Mai a first-class
officer - but, we are all subject to errors of judgement when
assessing colleagues. Actually, I appreciate your dis-comfort. It's not easy for any of us when a man falls short
of expected standards. Wearing my welfare hat, I've brought
his resignation form, which has already been counter-signed
by the colonel, so he'll need to do that. There's an AFO 1700
that I am formally delivering - it requires this married-quarter to be vacated within ninety-three days, but better
sooner rather than up to the deadline. It's a wretched shame,
Mrs Kitchen - trouble is that you cannot go back on life and
patch up mistakes. It goes without saying that it would be
better for all concerned if Mai stayed away from the mess.'
She snatched the papers from him. 'I'll tell him.'
'Excuse me, Mrs Kitchen. What I've said to you has been
one-on-one - not for repeating. I wouldn't want—'
'Wouldn't want to join the back-s tabbers,' she spat at him
savagely. 'No, there's enough of them already. You'd have
to be in the queue. Don't lose sleep over it, Luke, because
you'd be behind me in the line.'
Roz turned away.
The padre's parting shot had a worried whine in it: 'He'll
need a deal of love, and some care.'
'He won't get that from me.' She kicked the door shut
behind her.
He was standing three paces from her in the sitting-room
doorway. So, he had learned what she thought of him. So, he
had heard what was his future. Not her fault. None of it was
Roz Kitchen's fault. He took the papers from her, not a
word, and scrawled his signature, and she slumped, buried
her head and wept. She heard the stamp of those damn great
heavy shoes on the stairs, then the sounds of him moving in
the bedroom. She heard him call for a taxi to be at the main
gate in an hour. She felt no love, and doubted he would find
it anywhere.
She had written her signal, interminably long but everything that she had been told, and had transmitted it. Then she had flopped on to the camp-bed.
Polly Wilkins slept, dreamless.
She was curled on the top blanket and below her the sounds of the consulate and its business went unheard.
The phone woke her. She started up, did not know where she was. Darkness had gathered in the room, the wind heaved at the tiles and the rain pounded against the one small window. She groped towards the phone, banged her shin on the desk edge and swore.
'Yes - who is it?'
'Polly?' She heard Gaunt's voice sharp in her ear.
'Yes, me.'
'Polly, I sing your praises. To that venal idiot aloft upstairs, I said this morning I had complete faith in you. He wanted Berlin on the road to Hamburg double damn fast. I declined that offer. Were you asleep?'
'Yes, afraid I was.'
'Would you say, Polly, that I was always honest with you?'
She sighed deep. 'Spit it out, Mr Gaunt.'
There was a pause. She heard the silence on the line.
She wondered if he was tilted back in his chair, if he had straightened his tie first, and she waited to be punched.
'I'd say, Polly, that you fucked up . . . A bit harsh? I don't think so. Yes, that's being honest.'
'In what way did I fuck up, Mr Gaunt?' she asked, control in her voice, which suppressed her winded fury.
'Simple enough, my dear. Put with greater politeness, there's a boring old saying, "Can't see the wood for the trees." You heard a story, an extraordinary one, and then you rejected its relevance. You were told about drugs importation and said to yourself, "That's off my bailiwick," and discarded it. You could not see, in my humble opinion, the wood for the trees. Your man's laudable, but useless, obsession with the narcotics trade is the
trees
but you missed a sight of the
wood.
Hear me. A boat, a remote shoreline, a collection . . . It was laid in your lap. It was the information that I was confident enough you'd find. It was why I backed you.'
She let the air seep from her lungs and hiss between her teeth. 'Yes, Mr Gaunt, I fucked up.'
'Get there.'
'Do I have the cavalry?'
'I rather think not - better to keep it close . . . Oh, yes. What's he like, the Crusader?'
'Rather sweet.' For a moment, to the intimacy of the phone, she giggled - then cut it. 'But damaged, quite badly damaged,' she said, with sincerity
'And capable?'
'Have to be, wouldn't he? Or he wouldn't have come this far.'
'He should be a bellwether to you - a sheep that leads and others follow, know what I mean? That island, Polly, is where you should be.'
The phone purred in her ear.
The van in the driveway had a logo of an antenna on its side and below, in printed paintwork, the slogan
'Better Satellite TV Reception Throughout Your Residence'. Two men carried boxes of equipment into the travel agent's home.
He said to his wife, 'I don't know what it's for, but they have me by the balls and if they twist it will hurt.'
'The Rahmans are only new rich, unimportant to us,' his wife said.
They stood in the hall, their children dismissed to their bedrooms, and watched the boxes taken past them, up the stairs and left on the landing. The two men came down again, went outside and returned with a collapsible ladder and tools. The loft hatch in the ceiling above the landing was opened, and they manoeuvred the boxes through the gap.
He said, 'They are from the organized-crime unit -
they would make bad enemies, the worst.'
'The Rahmans are Albanians. We owe them
nothing.'
Later, one of the men came down, went again to the van and returned with two galvanized buckets. The travel agent asked him why they were needed. He was told, matter-of-fact, that two roof tiles would be moved. From one hole there would be a view for the camera lens down on to the back garden of the adjacent home, from the other there would be a view of the drive at the next-door house and the front door under the porch. When rain dripped down between the shifted tiles, the buckets would catch it. He noted, and she did, that neither man had wiped his feet on the inside mat, and that the dirt from their shoes had made a track up the stair carpet. He did not complain, nor did she. Because
they have me by the balls and if they
twist it will hurt,
neither dared to protest at the mess tramped into their home.
She held his arm. 'What would happen to us if Rahman knew what we have agreed to?'
'I thought of him as a businessman who had done well - but he is the target of the organized-crime unit.'
Any man in the city who read, daily, the
Hamburger
Abendblatt
was familiar with the blood vendettas and feuds of the Albanians and the viciousness of their response when crossed. 'I don't know what would happen to us,' he lied.
Later the men came down the stairs with their empty boxes and their ladder, and one said that if the equipment worked satisfactorily they would be back within two weeks to change the batteries. The travel agent's wife now found halting courage. What about the buckets? If it rained, and the forecast said it would, for the next several days, who would empty the buckets when they were full and overflowed?
But the men shrugged in disinterest. They went out into the evening and left their trail of dirt behind them. There was the crunch of tyres on the drive. The act of betrayal of a neighbour was marked by the roar of a vacuum-cleaner on the carpets of the hall, stairs and landing, and above the replaced hatch in the roof, two lenses beamed down on the Rahman house.