21st Century Dodos: A Collection of Endangered Objects (and Other Stuff) (32 page)

 

Dodo Rating:

The End?

So there you have it, an endangered list of 134 inanimate objects (and other things). Some are well and truly extinct, others are just moments away from disappearing, a few showing signs of a comeback.

But does any of this matter? Should we care?

Well, yes and no.

Mankind’s eternal quest for progress leaves devastation in its wake. It is the price we pay. I may look back with fondness on the days of teletext and half-day closing, but they are never going to return and, if I am honest, I probably wouldn’t swap my internet and 24-hour shopping for them if you made me the offer.

This book was never really about trying to save these things, although it might be nice if we wrote a few more letters to each other and Rowntree’s could make some Maverick bars just for me. Instead, I wanted to say cheerio to some important, and other less important, cultural icons, and share with you this fond farewell.

I hope I triggered a few memories by doing so.

Further Reading

If any of the entries in this book have tickled your fancy and given you the notion to read a bit more about them, then here are a few books and websites that I would recommend you check out:

Books

Paul Auster,
The Story of my Typewriter
(DAP, 9781891024320). A beautiful collection of words and drawings. A love letter from this remarkable novelist to the machine he uses to write all of his books.

Steve Berry,
TV Cream Toys
(Friday Project, 9781905548279). A nostalgia overload in this cracking coffee table book packed full of the toys we all grew up with. You are guaranteed to find dozens of toys and games that you had completely forgotten existed.

Steve Berry and Phil Norman,
The Great British Tuck Shop
(Friday Project 9781906321451). More hardcore nostalgia, this time looking at the sweets, crisps, biscuits, fizzy pop, and ice lollies of yesteryear.

Warwick Cairns,
About the Size of It
(Pan 9780330450300). A splendidly entertaining history of imperial measurements.

Warwick Cairns,
How to Live Dangerously
(Macmillan, 9780230712218). The finest argument you will ever read about why you should let your kids climb trees, play in the street, and generally be a bit more reckless.

Graham Kibble-White,
Look-in: The Best of the Seventies
(Prion, 9781853756221). An annual-style collection of the best bits from the heyday of
Look-in
magazine.

Thurston Moore,
Mix Tape: The Art of Cassette Culture
(Universe Publishing, 9780789311993). A collection of handwritten liner notes from old mixtapes, some great works of art among them. Well worth a flick through. It will bring back lots of memories.

 

I can also highly recommend spending an hour or so and a few quid on eBay to buy up a few comics or annuals that you remember from your youth, especially if you have kids yourself. My two have loved reading the old
Cheeky
annuals I picked up while researching this book.

Websites

likepunkneverhappened.blogspot.com
– An online archive of
Smash Hits
covers and articles.

www.aquarterof.co.uk
– Online sweet shop that has pretty much everything you can remember from your youth.

www.lookandlearn.com
– An online library of pictures and articles from
Look and Learn
magazine’s long history.

www.measuringworth.com
– A very handy site if you want to find out what £1 in 1970 would be worth in today’s money. Or any other value in any other year.

www.tvcream.co.uk
– The home of all the TV trivia and nostalgia you could possibly need.

 

21st Century Dodos
is also available as an ebook and audiobook.

Thanks

Despite the fact that I wrote this whole bloody thing myself, it is traditional to thank lots of other people so that you don’t seem like an arrogant sod and, fortunately, there are lots of people who are more than deserving of my gratitude when it comes to
21st Century Dodos
.

So, thanks to my family for allowing me to bugger off for ten days to a cabin in the middle of a Scottish forest to write up a big chunk of my research, and for putting up with me during the rest of the six months I have spent piecing this book together.

I owe a huge debt to Sam McColl for letting me stay in her aforementioned cabin which is something I will never forget, especially the pooing in the woods part. I saw no bears.

Kat Stephen helped me out with some Scottish research, and is probably somewhere out at sea right now. Assuming she doesn’t sink, I will thank her properly when I next see her.

A big hug to Corinna Harrod at The Friday Project for making sure this book got made, and also to Jo Walker for the wonderful cover. They are both mighty fine ladies. Dave Cornmell drew the illustrations. He is a splendid chap.

And finally a very special thank you to the wonderful readers of my blog, Me and my Big Mouth, and all of my Twitter friends who
contributed ideas for entries, a whole host of suggested subtitles, and remembered advertising slogans of yesteryear. You guys were a huge help.

About the Author

Steve Stack is the pseudonym of a blogger and sometime journalist. He is the author of one previous book,
It Is Just You, Everything’s Not Shit
which can probably still be found in bargain bookshops and Poundland if you wanted to add it to your toilet library. It is also available as a specially priced (i.e. very cheap) ebook if you are all very modern and own one of those new fangled devices.

If you want to contact Steve, you can drop him a line at
[email protected]

You can also pay a visit to his blog at
http://meandmybigmouth.typepad.com/

Visit
www.AuthorTracker.com
for exclusive information on your favorite HarperCollins authors.

By the same author

It Is Just You, Everything’s Not Shit

Copyright

The Friday Project
An imprint of HarperCollins
Publishers
77–85 Fulham Palace Road
Hammersmith, London W6 8JB

www.harpercollins.co.uk

First published in Great Britain by The Friday Project in 2011

Steve Stack asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
He does this without the need for an assertiveness training course.

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

ISBN 978-1-906321-73-4

21ST CENTURY DODOS
. Copyright © Steve Stack 2011. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

EPub Edition © SEPTEMBER 2011 ISBN: 978-0-00-735645-4

About the Publisher

Australia

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HarperCollins Canada

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United Kingdom

HarperCollins Publishers Ltd.

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*
For which read: ‘fear of getting sued because little Johnny has grazed his knee’.

Table of Contents

Title Page

Dedication

Contents

Introduction

At the Cutting Edge of Technology

Audio Cassettes
Mixtapes
VHS
Betamax
Minidiscs
Laserdiscs
Polaroid Cameras
Home Computers
Loading Computer Games from Tape
Printer Paper with Holes
Dial-up Modems
Basic
Compact Discs
Sony Walkman

In the Home

Rotary Dial Telephones
One Phone in the Home
Trimphones
Directory Enquiries
Toothpaste Tubes Made of Metal
Jif
Creamola Foam
Milkshake Straws
Duo Cans
Black and White Television

In the Neighbourhood

White Dog Poo
Whistling
Bob-a-Job Week
Raleigh Chopper
Raleigh Grifter
Roller Skates
Ring Pulls
Cap Guns
Routemaster Buses
Bus Conductors
Playing in the Streets
Election Vans with Loudspeakers
Nuns

Other books

Romiette and Julio by Sharon M. Draper
Folly by Maureen Brady
Cronin's Key by N.R. Walker
The Quality of Mercy by David Roberts
In the Dark by Marliss Melton
Nine Women by Shirley Ann Grau
1919 by John Dos Passos