Authors: Stacey Wiedower
She'd had lunch with him a few days after their first date—he'd called her, not the other way around, and then they'd met up that Saturday night to watch a band at a small venue in Las Colinas. Afterward he'd taken her to his place. It was supposed to be his weekend with his son, Ethan, but his ex-wife had taken Ethan to the East Coast to visit his grandparents, and so they'd switched weekends.
Devon's house in Greenland Hills was a small Tudor Revival cottage built in the 1920s, with window sills wide enough to sit on and dark paneled walls in the main rooms. There, they'd picked up where they'd left off when Sherri had returned home the previous weekend, and Erin had to stop herself from winding up in Devon's bed. He seemed to expect it when she peeled herself away from him—he did read the blog, after all. Her skin tingled as she thought about that night, a feeling that grew more intense and confusing when she glanced up and saw Ben watching her. She looked away from him again, toward the door.
She didn't see Devon, but she did see Angie, and just behind her was…Paul.
"Oh!" Erin said. She slipped out from under Ben's arm and moved to greet them.
"Wow, Angie, hi!" Her voice was a little too bright, and she avoided Paul's eyes, just as he was avoiding hers. "I'm so glad you came."
"Wouldn't miss it," Angie said. "Dave's coming too, with Missy. I guess we're a little early." Angie glanced up at Paul, and Erin wondered if they'd simply ridden together or if they were
together
together. They seemed to be keeping a careful distance from one another.
Angie seemed to read Erin's thoughts.
"When I found out Paul was planning to come, I asked if he wanted to ride with me," she said. "He lives in my apartment complex now."
Erin tilted her chin up to look him in the eye and found him staring at her, but he quickly averted his gaze. She shivered involuntarily, and had to work to stifle a giggle.
"Hi, Paul," she said in a soft voice.
"Hi, Erin." His voice was even softer—shy, as ever.
"How have you been?" she asked as he said, "I'm sorry I never returned your calls." Suddenly he was looking intently at her. Angie drifted away from them and through the doorway to the middle gallery, where the studio's current exhibition was brightly lit along the stark white walls. She turned a corner near the doorway and quickly disappeared from view.
"Oh," Erin said, as Paul answered, "Fine." They both laughed awkwardly.
"I heard you're not coming back to the school," he said. "I…I'm really sorry about all that happened."
"There's nothing to be sorry about," she said. "I entirely brought it on myself. I was just relieved that I didn't bring you down with me." She paused, and he didn't respond. "I didn't, did I? Things didn't stay weird for you at school, did they?"
"No, not a bit." He looked genuinely surprised at the question, and Erin felt relief. She'd been worried about that in the days following her suspension.
"Why aren't you coming ba—" he started to say, but at that moment a cluster of people pushed past them through the open doorway. Erin glanced up at the clock. It was 7:10. She took a step away from him to say hello to Sherri's co-worker, Lesley—the woman who'd been at the bar the night she'd told Ben about the blog. Her blonde hair was bigger than Erin had ever seen it, and she wore a red dress with a deep V neckline, like she was vying for a place in the memory of every male in the room.
Right behind Lesley and her group were Kyle Hurley, Erin's future boss, and his wife. Sherri joined her near the doorway to greet other guests who must have been clients or co-workers. Erin's eyes sought Paul's to apologize, but he'd turned away and seemed to be focusing his attention on the food and drink tables. She watched with a touch of longing as he sauntered toward the main bar, his hands in the pockets of his tan sport coat.
She forced her eyes away from him and reached out to shake Kyle's hand when he extended it to her. "Kyle, I'm so glad you could be here," she said warmly.
"This is Becca, my wife," he said, and Becca leaned forward to give Erin a light hug.
"Sorry, I just feel like I know you," she said with a laugh, and Erin instantly liked her. "Kyle told me about your interview and your career situation. I love your blog, and I think it's so awesome that you're taking risks and trying something new. I'm doing the same thing."
Kyle gave his wife an indulgent smile, then looked at Erin and explained, "Becca's in culinary school at Le Cordon Bleu in Dallas."
"I was a massage therapist," she said. "That's how Kyle and I met. I started getting into nutrition and the effects different foods have on the body, and that's when I realized how much I love to cook."
"She forgot to mention she was so addicted to The Food Network it required an intervention," Kyle added, and she jabbed him with her elbow.
"I'm about to start my second semester," she said, ignoring him. "We have two little guys, so I'm going to school at night."
Erin nodded. She'd seen pictures of Becca and their two boys, both toddlers, on Kyle's desk. "Wow, your schedules must be pretty hairy then," Erin said, and Becca nodded.
"At least you get the benefits of the homework, right?" she asked, looking at Kyle.
"Yeah, if I want to eat dinner at 11 p.m." he said and laughed. "No, in all seriousness, I'm not complaining. I think it's great what she's doing. What you're both doing," he added, emphasizing the word
both
. "I feel lucky to be getting the benefits of your career change. The whole team's excited to be getting you on board."
"Wow, that's a lot to live up to," Erin said.
Kyle pffted her. "Forget about it," he said. "I've read your writing samples. You're going to do just fine."
Erin beamed, and as Ben approached Kyle and Becca, another hand touched her shoulder. She spun around. It was Jen31, and Devon was just behind her. He glanced around himself, taking in the scene and looking slightly discomfited. Erin glanced around the room, too. It was slowly filling up, and people were in random clusters, mostly around the standing tables.
She turned back to Devon and Jenni, giving Devon a subtle once-over. He was wearing a slim, striped button-down shirt with a charcoal sweater, the sleeves rolled partway up his forearms. His pants were jeans-style, but they weren't denim, and he wore black and white Vans. Probably as dressed up as he got, Erin thought, and smiled to herself, loving it. His hair was in its customary tousled style, like he'd just walked inside on a windy day, or just risen from bed after sex.
"Welcome to the monkey house," she said, winking up at him. "I hope you can handle a little healthy competition."
Jenni looked surprised at Erin's sarcasm, but Devon just smirked. He was used to it.
Erin leaned in and touched both their arms. "I'm happy you came."
She was standing in the doorway again and had to move as someone else arrived. Devon and Jenni followed as she led the way to the table nearest the door, which was still empty. As they walked, Erin noticed Ben eyeing her and then studying Devon with interest. Half a room away, Paul was doing the same thing.
Over the sound system, The Killers' "All These Things That I've Done" went perfectly with the vibe of the party. Erin looked up at Devon and asked if she could get him something to drink.
"Why don't I go grab us all drinks?" Jenni said, and Erin's brow furrowed. She didn't want it to look like Devon was here as her date, and she didn't see how Jenni would carry three drinks, anyway.
"Come with me," Erin said, and smiled up at Devon before walking away. She saw him shake his head a little as she turned.
What the hell am I going to do about this?
She'd thought it would be interesting, in theory, to get the guys she'd dated for the blog in the same room, but she hadn't figured, in execution, that so many of them would actually come. Nate was there now. She'd seen him walk past with Alison, whom she hadn't met. She was blonde and tall—taller than him, with strong features and a short skirt. Exactly the sort of girl Erin pictured him with.
She ran through the guest list in her mind. She hadn't invited any other past or future dates, so all the ones she
had
invited were now here, and they were All…Staring…At…Her. Her eyes flitted from Nate to Ben to Paul and back to Devon, who was definitely laughing at her with his eyes.
Feeling oddly bold and self-conscious at the same time, she put an extra swagger in her walk. Because why the hell not?
In the bar line, which was about eight deep—the room was really filling up, the food tables finally seeing traffic and the noise level in the room progressing from a hushed buzz to a steady hum—Erin made small talk with Jenni, occasionally getting interrupted by other guests. She realized she might not get a lot of time to spend with any single person tonight and decided that probably wasn't a bad thing, considering.
She was surprised and happy to see the room so crowded—the goal was to throw a real cocktail party, and this event fit the bill and then some. She glanced at the clock. It was just after 8, and people were still trickling in.
Ben came up to her then, and Erin looked at Jenni, who dipped away, turned, and headed with two drinks back to Devon. Ben put one hand possessively behind her elbow, and she glanced up at him, surprised.
"So that's the guy, huh?" he said, and he wasn't even disguising his jealousy. Ben nodded toward the table by the entry, and Erin felt her mouth grow dry.
"Well, he's
a
guy, yes," she said and then cleared her throat.
"Who else is here from the blog?" he said, and she watched his eyes travel the room, landing on various guests as if sizing them up. For a split second she was confused, not sure if he was pulling his old big brother act or if he truly was jealous. She realized it must be the former and smirked at him.
"Well, there's you," she hedged.
"Uh-huh," he said dryly.
"And there's Nate."
"Yes."
He'd steered her to one side of the room so they were standing close to the wall, between the bar and the sake station. Across from them the opposite wall was mostly occupied by four tall windows with big industrial shades that were rolled all the way up. She could see the building across the street and a sliver of twilight above it. An early moon hung low in the sky.
She pulled her gaze away and scanned the room for Paul, noting that Devon wasn't looking at her anymore. He was deep in conversation with Jenni and with another woman Erin didn't recognize who'd come with a group from Sherri's office. She was medium height with long auburn hair that curled in wavy corkscrews down her back, and she was laughing at something Devon said.
Erin watched for several seconds, pleased to find she didn't feel jealous, just curious. She continued searching for Paul and realized he was barely an arm's length away, talking to Angie and Dave—she hadn't seen Dave come in.
"Oh, and Paul," she said to Ben. "Pete." Paul swiveled his head when he heard his name.
His eyes lit up. "Erin." He backed up a couple of steps, almost tripping in the process, to stand next to her. Erin was almost certain she saw Angie roll her eyes. Dave was snickering. She didn't see Dave's wife, Missy.
Erin's eyes widened. "Ben, Paul Moreno. Paul, this is my friend Ben."
The two men gripped hands firmly, as if sizing up the other's handshake.
"Date one, right?" Paul asked.
"You got it," Ben said. He had that look on his face and inflection in his voice Erin knew he used when he was humoring someone. "And you're the infamous Pete."
It was her—he was mocking her. Erin glared at him while Paul's head was turned. She tipped up her glass of pinot grigio and took a long, deep drink, her mind racing as she tried to wrap her head around this, possessive vibe Ben was giving off. Where was it coming from? She felt a strong desire to extract herself from their awkward threesome, but she didn't want to be rude to Paul.
Ben was another story—suddenly she felt almost angry with him for making the night so much harder. Why was he acting so possessive? She inched her body away from his.
"So you didn't answer my question from earlier," Paul said. "How come you're not coming back this year?"
"Weeell—" Erin said. How to explain? "I just decided it was time to make a change. I really like writing the blog, and I think I might want to try writing full-time. I'm starting journalism school this semester, and I've got an internship lined up through a friend of Ben's." She gestured to her right where Ben was still standing, forming a Ben-Erin-Paul sandwich. Another surge of frustration washed over her that he was listening in on their conversation.
"Oh, so it isn't because you're embarrassed about what happened in the spring?" Paul said, and he sounded surprised and maybe relieved.
Erin laughed, and Ben did, too. She angled her shoulder slightly in Paul's direction.
"Nah, I could handle that. The only embarrassing part was Dr. McCann getting involved with it. I could put the slap-down on any students who wanted to give me flack about it. Now, Jess Mickelson. I might have had a problem there…"
Paul reddened immediately, and Erin had the feeling she was missing something. There was an awkward silence, and she knew she'd be asking Dave about that later.
"Well, look," Paul said, and he moved a little to the side, like he was trying to pull her away from Ben with magnetic force. "Do you think you might want to get some coffee sometime soon? I've wanted to call you for a long time, but I just wasn't sure—"
Erin turned her back fully on Ben, embarrassment at what he'd overheard adding to her feelings of frustration. She wasn't sure where this newfound awkwardness between them was coming from. Did it originate with him, or was
she
the source of it?
Either way it had to stop, she decided. She felt like they were on a path to messing up the best friendship she'd ever had, or could imagine having.
She tipped up her wine again, draining the last legs from her glass, and then walked a few steps away, almost out of Ben's hearing distance, to place it on a nearby table. She smiled up at Paul.