31 Days of Winter (23 page)

‘What now, Ellie?’

‘Reach up and run your hands through your hair,
both hands.’

‘Hmmm. Like I did coming out of the shower.’ He gave
me a cocky smile this time.

‘O shut up, you did that on purpose and then you
complain that I go to pieces looking at you?’

‘You did go to pieces,’ he nodded.

‘You did do it on purpose to see my reaction,
didn’t you?’

‘Personal question, Ellie.’ He reached up and
mimicked his pose, pushing his shoulders back, his broad chest expanding as his
biceps bulged, and I groaned. ‘That was the reaction, yes,’ he smiled again as
I quickly started snapping before I lost all ability to function. He put his
arms down and flexed his neck from side to side as he shook his hands and
opened and shut his fingers. My breathing was coming way too fast, was he
seriously thinking about us having sex up here? I carefully put the iPad down
on my coat, taking my eyes off him for a few seconds and then screamed as I was
struck in the head by a snowball.

‘You did
not
just do that,’ I hissed as I straightened
up. He laughed and launched another one at me, hitting me straight between the
breasts. ‘Right, that’s it. You’re so getting it now.’

We spent a blissful few minutes hurling them at
each other and laughing, with me even venturing off the coat and running to try
and dodge his uncannily accurate aim, while scooping up more snow for mine.
Every single one I threw missed, yet he hit me with alarming accuracy, but I
could feel that he was holding back with the power so that he wouldn’t hurt me.
I screamed even louder as he started to run after me and I tried to get away,
but he dropped to the floor doing a sliding tackle and took my legs from under
me. He caught me in his arms as I fell and landed, my back on his chest as his
arms wrapped around my waist. We lay panting on the snow, he seemed oblivious
to the cold as I felt his lips barely skim the side of my neck.

‘Thank you.’

‘For what?’ I could barely breathe feeling the
heat of our skin on skin contact again.

‘For making me realise I can still have fun,’ he
whispered. I struggled to twist in his arms, until I was outstretched on top of
him, his erection painfully digging into my pubic bone as I looked down at him,
barely an inch between our lips.

‘Why don’t you have it more often?’ I asked, sure
that I wouldn’t get an answer. He closed his eyes and reopened them to look at
me, and I saw his pupils dilate and felt his erection flex.

‘
Ellie,’
he sighed and lifted his head, his
lips moving towards mine and for a second I nearly let them touch, then at the
last minute I tilted my head to the side and his lips met my cheek.

‘Don’t. Please.’

‘Why not?’ he asked as he carried on kissing my
face and moved down to my neck making me let out a sigh, that sounded like an
orgasm noise, which in turn made him let out a rough groan and crush me to him
tighter as he rolled his hips against mine.

‘You promised Dan, option two, remember? You promised
that you wouldn’t tease me.’

‘I don’t want to tease anymore, I want you. I want
inside you Ellie, I want you to milk my cock the way you did my fingers the
other night. I want you to roll your tongue around it and swallow me, but most
of all, I want to come inside you,
so badly,
while you scream for me,’
he whispered in my ear as his teeth caught my lobe and nibbled. I groaned and
ran my tongue up the side of his neck before following the trail with kisses.
‘And you will scream, no one will have fucked you as well as I’m going to.
You’ll be hoarse and legless by the time I’m done with you and I’ll have to
carry you back to bed.’ He nibbled on the side of my neck making me close my
eyes and whimper as a shudder of pleasure ran through me.

‘Dan I want that too, but not if you won’t be
honest with me.’

‘I can be honest after.’

‘Don’t lie to me, I told you I don’t need lies.’ I
quickly snapped out of my aroused state and tuned into logic. I couldn’t have
sex with a man who was going to withhold the reason why he’d refused so far. I struggled
to get out of his arms but he held on tightly. ‘Dan
please,
don’t. I
hate the fact that you say you have reasons for not sleeping with me,
especially as I don’t understand why, but those reasons haven’t gone away.
Until you face them or share them with me, I can’t be there for you like that,
you can’t hurt me like that.’

‘Fuck,’ he groaned as he buried his face in my
neck and stroked my back. ‘I’m so sorry.’

‘Tell me, please.’

‘No,’ he replied stubbornly.

‘I thought you wanted me?’

‘I do, can’t you feel how much I want you?’ he
asked with another roll of his hips that had me groan again. ‘But you’re right,
I can’t let it go further, yet I keep losing sight of that because you bewitch
me, Miss Baxter.’

‘Then let’s get dressed and finish our walk and
spend the afternoon as friends. If I can’t have you the way I want, then
friends is better than nothing.’

‘Is it?’ he sighed.

‘Yes,’ I lied, he grunted, suppressing a laugh.

‘I thought you said no more lies, Ellie?’

‘Ok fine, what do you want me to say? That I want
you so badly I feel like I’m going to die if you don’t touch me? That I don’t
know how I’m going to handle getting on that plane home in a few weeks knowing
I’ve never been physical with you? Or that I’ll never see you again?’ I lifted
my head and looked down into his eyes. ‘How’s being honest with each other
about what we want going to help? I lie, or I have to leave now.’

‘No,’ he responded again, with the same quick firm
shake of the head and he moved one hand around to sweep the hair out of my face
and cupped my cheek. ‘I’m sorry, my self-control around you is shit. You need
to tell me when I’m going too far.’

‘You make it sound like that’s easy,’ I sighed.

‘I know it’s not. You’re so aroused that I can
barely see straight. Your nipples are digging into me, you’re lips are swollen
ready for me to take them, both sets, you’re squirming on my cock like you want
to take me so deeply inside and I can smell your sex watering for me.’

‘You can smell me?? That’s the most insulting
thing anyone’s ever said to me,’ I gasped as I punched him in the shoulder and
struggled again to get out of his one armed embrace.

‘No it’s not. I’m attuned to you Ellie, and the
smell of your arousal makes me so fucking hard. You don’t need perfume, it’s
amazing. I loved you coating me with it the other night, tasting it, o fuck,’
he groaned as his eyes started blazing again and his hips moved.

‘God damn it, you have no fucking control at all.
Let me up Dan, as I’m breaking here and you’ll hate yourself for giving in and
I don’t want that. Much as I want you, I want us to be able to do it without
guilt. Please,’ I begged as I ran a hand over his forehead and caressed his
hair. ‘
Please.’

‘Get off me and get dressed quickly before I
change my mind, I’m on the verge of coming,’ he nodded and closed his eyes as
he released me. I scrambled up, amazed that my sensible head was over riding my
cantering heart and pulsating body as I ran back to my clothes and quickly
started to dress. I heard a groan coming from behind me, looked over and nearly
passed out. He’d freed himself from his boxers and was still lying on his back
in the snow stroking his quivering length. I felt a tidal wave below, vagina
burn was no longer an issue, I was about to be impaled by an internal stalactite.
I was too far away to see properly but watched as his back arched and he roared
as he came all over his stomach and chest and dropped back onto the snow. I
turned away breathing fast, not wanting to embarrass him, finished dressing and
bent over to do my boots. I needed another cold shower to get rid of the sexual
tension burning me up inside, then a seriously hot bath to thaw my frozen skin.
By the time I was done, he was already dressed and looking more composed.

‘Thank you for stopping me,’ he nodded as he
walked over.

‘Right now I’m wishing I hadn’t. I’m not sure I
can do another twenty-one days like this.’

‘I’d really like you to.’

‘I really want to as well, but I’m finding it
hard.’

‘I know. Come here,’ he grabbed me and pulled me
back into his arms again and kissed the top of my head. ‘Don’t ever let anyone
tell you that you can’t do anything, Ellie. You’re incredibly strong and I
admire that about you. Let’s go and get you warmed up,’ he sighed. I nodded,
reached down and grabbed his hand again and heard him wince. I stepped back and
lifted it up and gasped. His knuckles were bloodied and severely bruised and
swollen, how had I missed that all day?

‘How did you do this?’ I asked, though I knew how,
I’d watched him punch a hole in his bannister.

‘I needed to get some aggression out.’

‘You may have broken something.’

‘I’m fine.’

‘No, you’re not. Come on, let’s get back to the
house and I’ll clean it properly and bandage it up before we put ice on it to
reduce the swelling.’

‘Thank you.’ He bowed his head and kissed my
cheek, lingering for longer than was necessary and I didn’t move away, rather
leaned into it. I was getting closer to getting him to open up, I could feel
it. No matter how painful this was for me, I was going to persevere, I had a
feeling he’d be worth the effort, and not just the sex. He insisted on holding
my hand as we made our way down a different track and I was surprised when we
came to another clearing and there was a large log cabin nestled in the trees.

‘What’s that? Somewhere else for paying guests?’

‘No. It’s a self-contained one bedroomed
accommodation. When the owner’s living in his house, he has a live-in couple
who do the cooking, cleaning and maintenance jobs, and help with the boathouse
rental.’

‘Why not keep them when he decided to rent the
house out?’

‘Do you have any idea what rent would need to be
charged to pay for that service for guests?’

‘A lot I guess, a serious lot. So they moved out
and you came to live in the boathouse to do the day to day stuff?’

‘Pretty much.’

‘It’s big for a one bedroomed place.’

‘There’s a gym and sauna in a separate section in
there. That’s where I go most mornings.’

‘A sauna? You probably need that right now after
lying in the snow for so long.’

‘It would warm you up too. Do you want to?’

‘I’d love to, but I’m worried about your hand and
want to sort that out. Plus, I was going to do a roast beef Sunday lunch if you
want to join me?’

‘I’d love to. Sauna another time?’ He smiled at me
and I nodded and we carried on back down and came out the other side of the
boathouse.

‘O my God, the loch’s really freezing up,’ I
exclaimed as I let go of his hand and went onto the jetty and kneeled down and
pressed the thick ice forming.

‘Yes. We’re in for a bad week. Snow in the day and
then freezing at night. It’s probably going to totally freeze over. My clothes
are wet and damp, a hot shower’s in order.’

‘Mine too, that sounds a great idea … in my shower
… I meant you in your shower and me in mine, not together, not that we’d shower
together ... obviously, but I’m really wet too. No, that sounded all wrong as
well … not that I’m not wet, I am wet just not … damn it,’ I groaned and
quickly started walking away as he started to laugh. I’d never been this
stammering imbecile around a man before, what the hell had Dan … whatever his
damn name was, done to me?

The heat of the house was welcoming and I left my
boots and coat at the front door and ran up, stripped off and enjoyed a
steaming hot shower and did my hair again, then dressed in a pair of cropped
white Capri pants and a black off the shoulder jumper. I knew we weren’t going
to let it go any further, but it didn’t mean I couldn’t make a bit of an
effort. I liked the fact that the house had underfloor heating and no carpets.
I could walk around bare foot on wooden and tiled floors, for some reason it
was just carpets I had a weird phobia about. I headed down to see him with his
back to the door looking out at the view. He had a new pair of jeans on, black
this time, with a fitted white shirt over the top. Damn it, he looked even
sexier than normal, especially the way his arse was shown off.

‘Have you been standing there long?’ I asked as I
opened it.

‘About five minutes.’

‘Why didn’t you just come in?’

‘It’s your house and you said you were showering.
I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.’

‘Right, come up to the bathroom, I think I saw a
first aid kit in there and we’ll sort that hand.’

‘Honestly, it’s fine.’

‘No it’s not, don’t argue with me. Now get inside,
you’re letting the heat out,’ I ordered, well aware of exactly how much heat I
was letting in as he stepped over the threshold and I shut the door. I sat him
on the chaise longue in the dressing area of the bathroom and rummaged out the
first aid kit I’d seen in the bathroom cabinet, then sat by him and carefully
lifted up his hand and placed it on my lap. It looked really bad close up, no
wonder he’d winced when I’d grabbed it to sit on his shoulders. I cleaned it
with an alcohol wipe, then carefully smeared some antiseptic lotion over each
knuckle, taking my time over each ridge and dip so I wouldn’t hurt him and
heard him hiss in through his teeth.

‘Sorry, I’m trying to be gentle.’

‘It’s because you’re being gentle,’ he responded
quietly and I deliberately didn’t look at him. Three years,
three years
without sex meant no one had touched him like this, no wonder the slightest
caress of his skin made him feel things that it normally wouldn’t.

‘I wish you’d let me help you,’ I sighed as I
wiped the cream from my hands and pulled out a roll of bandage.

‘You are helping me,’ he replied with a shake of
his hand.