31 Days of Winter (51 page)

Ellie

I woke feeling worse than
I had with my hangover yesterday. I’d struggled to fall asleep, it was three
o’clock the last time I remembered checking the clock, but I’d obviously slept
well since as it was now after one. I gasped as I took a look at myself in the
mirror, I looked dreadful. My eyes were swollen from all the tears I’d shed and
my hair was matted from tossing and turning in bed as I’d kept running Dan’s
letter through my mind. I’d picked up my phone a number of times to ring him
and ask him why? To try and get some proper closure, but I’d decided it wasn’t
going to help. I had a feeling he was never going to tell me, he wanted me to
remember a few perfect nights with him, then move on and forget him. If only it
were that simple, he had no idea that I’d already fallen in love with him.

I went and detangled my hair, took a shower, did a
face pack and put some cooling eye gel on and headed downstairs for coffee. I
couldn’t face eating anything, the sight of food made me feel slightly sick and
I knew cooking would just make me think of him with his enormous appetite. I
tried to take my mind off him by stripping the bed, I couldn’t spend another
night in it with his scent all over the sheets. I took one final inhalation of
them, with my eyes closed and quickly shoved them in the machine as I felt my
eyes start to fill up again. As they washed, I went and cleaned my face and
moisturised, applying more eye cooling gel, before taking out my suitcase and
starting to pack up some of my clothes, carefully putting Dan’s letter between
some of my jumpers. I shoved the bedding in the tumble dryer and went to sit at
the desk to send Brooke an email, but I didn’t know what to say. I let out a
startled scream as the telephone rang behind me. The only times it had ever
rung it had been Dan. My heart started pounding wildly, maybe he was back, he’d
had a change of heart and wanted to talk. I spun around in the chair to grab it
and cursed as I caught my knee on the desk filing cabinet drawer. Rubbing my leg
I snatched up the phone.

‘Hello?’

‘O, hello. I’m sorry I must’ve dialled the wrong
number.’ I sighed to hear the man’s thick Scottish voice at the other end of
the line. I’d been so sure it was Dan.

‘Who were you looking for?’

‘Daniel,’ he advised. I frowned. If he meant Dan
I’d never heard anyone call him Daniel, and why was he ringing him here and not
at the boathouse?

‘I know a Dan, if that’s who you mean?’

‘Sorry yes, habit I guess. Is he in?’

‘No I’m sorry he’s not, but you’ve rung the wrong
number for him anyway, this is the main house on the island, rather than the
boathouse.’

‘The boathouse?’

‘Yes. He’s not there either, I don’t think he’ll
be back until late Monday night. Can I take a message?’

‘O, right,’ he sounded really confused, pretty
much how I was feeling. ‘Well yes, if you can tell him Theo, his father-in-law
called, we’re a little worried we haven’t seen him for a few days, which is
most unusual when the weather’s clear.’

‘I’m sorry, did you just say his …
father-in-law
?’
I felt my mouth drain of saliva as my hands started to shake. Dan was
married?

‘Yes, he knows the number. If you could please
pass on the message I’d be so grateful.’

‘I … of course I will,’ I agreed in a state of
shock, really having to concentrate on every word this man was telling me.

‘Thank you dear, sorry to have troubled you.’ I
nodded as the line went dead and just sat with the hand set in my palm. Dan was
married?!
That
was his big secret? I couldn’t believe it, what sort of
marriage was it that he only saw his wife for a few hours every day? More
importantly, how could I have got unwittingly involved with a married man,
again?
After Matt, I swore I’d never do that, I’d never be duped again. Was I that
stupid? I let Matt fool me and now Dan? Not to mention what Zac had been up to
behind my back. I slowly put the phone back on its cradle and leaned forward
and put my head in my hands. No wonder Dan didn’t want to get involved, why he
felt this burden of guilt after we’d had time together. I couldn’t believe he’d
do that to me, then I laughed. It wasn’t like he was cheating on me, we were
nothing, he was cheating on his damn wife. Dan couldn’t possibly know how much
more he’d hurt me by sucking me into his infidelity. I’d never disclosed to him
that my relationship with Matt had been founded on those very lies.
How the
hell could I ever trust another man again?
Three shits in a row.
Was
that some kind of world record?
I’d be immortalised in the Guinness Book of
Records,
Ellie Baxter, winner of the world record for naivety.
I
suddenly felt overwhelmingly home sick, I just wanted to be back in London
right this second, away from all reminders of Dan. I needed my best friend.

I spun around to grab my iPhone for her number and
swore again as I caught my leg on the desk for a second time. I bent down to
rub it and was surprised to see the drawer was hanging slightly open. I know it
had been locked when I first arrived here, I’d checked them all hoping for some
insight into the owner. I went to push it shut and frowned as I caught a
glimpse of a photo of a woman with long blonde hair, she looked just like me.
Feeling a little guilty for prying, I rolled my chair back and pulled the
drawer wide open. I gasped with surprise to see it
was
a picture of me, an
old picture of me from a few years ago and it was pinned to the front of a
manila file with my name on it. I picked it up and placed it on the desk in
front of me.
What the bloody hell was going on?
I slammed the drawer
shut, not wanting to bruise my legs for the third time. My hands were trembling
as I opened the file and saw a typed report with my name at the top of it.

Précis
Report on Ellie Baxter

Dated 7
^th
December 2013

I frowned, the 7
^th
of December was the
morning after I’d applied for the rental on the boathouse, the day that I’d
been told I could have it. I read on.

Dear Mr. Davenport,

As requested, a summary of the information
obtained today on your potential tenant Ellie Baxter. Given the immediate
turnaround required I haven’t been able to pull together a full report as usual,
but if instructed will provide the normal, more detailed one.

Regards

Ian Smith

I shook my head as I read all of my particulars,
date of birth, place of birth, height, last known weight, national insurance
number and credit rating. It listed my addresses since birth, schools I’d
attended, qualifications I’d obtained and my work history. There were footnotes
at the bottom referring to appendices on my parents and significant
relationships.
How the hell had someone obtained all of this, and more to
the point, why?
I flipped over to a second page and felt tears sting my
eyes as I saw the official police report on my parents accident, even I hadn’t
seen a copy of this. I couldn’t bring myself to read it. I’d tried to come to
terms with their death, to imagine how it happened and that they didn’t suffer,
I didn’t need to read anything that shattered that illusion. I quickly turned
the page. The next was on the lorry driver who killed them and stated that I
was paying a monthly allowance to his son, including the amount, I was
dumbstruck. This should all be confidential information. There was a page on Matt,
stating that from what Ian could glean, I hadn’t known he was married when I
started seeing him and that was the reason for our break up. The next page was
on Zac, detailing his predilections as well as having an additional copy of an STI
report carried out long before we’d even stopped having sex. So it seemed Zac
had lied to me again, he’d been cheating on me for longer than I thought, why
else get a test? My hands were shaking at this point, this was all
personal
.
What right did Dan’s friend have to know all of this about me? The final page
was on Brooke, confirming her bisexuality and that the investigator hadn’t had
time to ascertain whether our relationship was sexual.

I slammed the file down. I was seething, I don’t
think I’d ever been so mad in all my life. Who did this arsehole think he was?
Employing someone to check up on me, and how the hell had they got so much
information on me in such a short period of time? Did he do this for all
tenants? Had Dan seen this? Did he know this was what his friend did? ‘
Of
course he does, Ellie, he was the one still on the island when I made the
booking. He probably instructed it on behalf of his employer and had to read it
and report back the findings before confirming I could stay,’
I said out
loud, needing to hear for sure what was milling through my mind. I covered my
eyes and sighed. My brain couldn’t handle all of this information. Dan knew
from the start pretty much everything about me, I tried to remember him asking
me questions about facts he already knew the answers to. What was he hoping to
achieve, to test me? See if I’d give different answers? Or was it his way of
forging a bond with me so he could make me fall for him and sleep with him? If
he was that conniving though, why hadn’t he slept with me the first two times
we’d kissed, or when he’d looked after me sexually. I pinched myself really
hard, not convinced I was actually awake, but when I let out a squeal, the pain
in my chest to know this was actually happening hurt even more.

Something sparked in my memory as I looked back at
the addressee on the report,
Mr. Davenport.
O my God, that was the name
of the guy who was renting me the mews house in London. Oliver Davenport. He
was the owner of the house and island as well? I was renting my new London
house off Dan’s best friend? Dan had refused to tell me the island owners name
as he said if I knew I’d probably work out who he was and he liked his privacy.
I snorted as the irony of a man who valued his privacy, paying for detailed
reports on his holiday guests, struck me. I opened up the internet on my laptop
and keyed in “Oliver Davenport” and “Millionaire” and waited for the results to
come up. The whole of the first page focussed on Oliver Davenport, CEO of
Davenport Technologies and when I opened their home page my jaw dropped. Dan’s
friend only owned one of the largest software companies in the world, with
market capital of over 5
billion
dollars. Dan must’ve worked for him,
when he did IT in London, where one of their head offices were based. The main
one was in San Francisco, where Oliver Davenport’s registered address was
listed on my tenancy agreement. I wanted answers, I was confused, hurt and
angry. I picked up the phone and rang Dan’s mobile number, but it went straight
to answer machine.

‘
Hello, Dan. This is Ellie, remember the girl
you had your most recent fling with? Unless you’ve fitted in a few more since
the other night? Well, guess what arsehole, I know you’re married. Your father-in-law
called looking for you, so given how you also have a very large file on me
detailing my history with married guys, along with other private, confidential
information, you’ll understand why I’m rather pissed off. I just wanted to
congratulate you, you really had me fooled. I thought you were genuinely
interested in me, that you cared for me. All along you knew my entire life
story and were just stringing me along. What’s worse is I can’t even work out
why, I just don’t know what you got out of it. Given the way you look, you know
pretty much any woman with a pulse would drop her knickers if you asked her to.
Is playing games what really gets you off? Seeing how you’ve lied about so
much, I guess I need to go and get that STD test again. I rang to tell you how
much I hated you, to demand answers, but you know what, while I’m ranting down
the phone like some bloody crazy woman, I’ve just realised I don’t need any more
lies in my life and I’m sure that’s what will spew from your mouth if you even
bothered to call me back. I hope you’re happy in your sad little fucked up life
and I sincerely hope that your wife finds out what type of man she’s really
married to, because no one deserves to be treated the way you treat women.
Don’t bother calling me back because I won’t answer. And don’t even think about
trying to contact me. I never want to hear from you or see you ever again. You
know I actually cried when I read your letter, because it sounded so sincere,
you made me feel like you’d fallen for me, nearly as hard as I had for you.
Well let me tell you that unlike you, I do have regrets, I won’t look back on
this fondly and I hope that in time I never remember you.’
I cut the call
and chastised myself as more tears streamed down my face. I didn’t want to
spend another night on this island, seeing memories of Dan everywhere I looked.
I was going home right now, I didn’t care how, I’d pay for a bloody taxi all
the way to London if I had to. I wasn’t spending a minute longer here than I
had to. I dialled Pete’s number and tried to choke back the tears.