50 Reasons People Give for Believing in a God (42 page)

Everyone should know that being led to an incorrect belief by parents does not necessarily mean that one was raised by bad parents or
parents who were unintelligent. Mothers and fathers pass on belief in
their god because they think it is true, not because they intend to trick
children into believing things that are not true. After all, the parents
likely were indoctrinated in the same way by their own parents. This
chain of belief transfer from parent to child stretches back a long way
but one should not have to feel bad or disloyal for breaking the chain.
Most parents want what is best for their children so they wouldn't
want their daughters and sons to give time, energy, and money to
something that was not real.

The hard truth is that parents, no matter how loving, can be totally
wrong about gods. Hindu parents do not love their children any less
than Christian parents do. Jewish parents do not love their children
any less than Muslim parents do. Animist parents love their children
as much as Greek Orthodox parents do. Most parents who knew that
their religion was wrong probably would not pass it on to their children. However, most of the loving parents on Earth today are teaching
their children to believe in gods that are not real because all religions
cannot be true. Therefore, many well-meaning mothers and fathers are
introducing their children to fictional characters and telling them that
they are real. Think about that, hundreds of millions of parents are
encouraging or forcing their children to spend countless hours of their
childhoods worshipping, studying, praying to, and fearing gods that do
not exist. In most cases, the loving parents who do this would not if
they suspected that their god or gods probably were make-believe. Therefore, believers who dare to doubt do not have to feel that they are
betraying their parents. Good parents do not want their children to
believe in lies or mistakes. They want the best for their children, and
most parents probably would agree that having a sharp mind that is
uncluttered by made-up gods is best. So when a believer doubts and
questions their god, they are not necessarily going against the wishes
of the parents who originally encouraged the belief. By thinking and
being honest, the son or daughter may be doing precisely what a
loving parent would want them to do.

People do not necessarily have to tell anyone what they do or do
not believe if they don't want to. If the topic of doubting gods is too
sensitive for the people you care about, or if it may lead to discrimination or execution as it still does in some societies today, then skip it
at the dinner table and talk about the weather instead. But never shut
down your mind for the sake of anyone. Your mind is yours, or at least
it should be. An incredibly long line of your ancestors were strong
enough, smart enough, and attractive enough to keep your genes
moving forward to the next generation. They delivered to you a human
brain, a spectacular and powerful gift that deserves your appreciation.
Don't disrespect all the hard work and good luck that led to you by
wasting your ability to think.

Figuring out that gods are probably human creations does not necessarily have to turn one's life upside down. Ex-believers do not have
to join an atheist club and start debating every creationist they can
find. Ex-believers do not have to stop being around friends who are
believers. Most of my friends believe in gods and I don't like them any
less for it. Ex-believers do not even have to stop going to churches,
mosques, or temples. If you like going there because you love the
people, the stories, the music, the songs, the food, the sense of
belonging, or any other reason, then keep going. Religion is not only
about believing in unproven gods. The unquestionably real aspects of
religions, such as the rituals, are a large part of human tradition. All
people, believers or not, have a right to these things if they wish to participate in them.

I've been a nonbeliever for many years now but I still enjoy some
religious things. Even though I think all gods probably are not real I
can still enjoy being in some places of worship occasionally. I'm
human and it's in my blood. I'm capable of feeling those songs and
prayers. I see no reason to deny who I am, where I come from, and
what I am a part of. Right now, there are several gospel songs on my
iPod, for example. I don't believe that the songs reflect much that is
accurate about the universe but I still like them because they make me
feel good. I'm glad that I was able to become an atheist without developing contempt for religion. After the September 11 attacks on the
World Trade Center, I came close. Fortunately, I realized that total
condemnation was not intellectually justifiable. While I never hesitate
to criticize the bad in religion, I have not lost sight of the good.
Wouldn't it be great for the world if every believer made the decision
to keep the positive and harmless aspects of their religions while
rejecting the negative?

A growing number of Jewish people seem to be doing just that.
Called "cultural Jews," they are atheists who still identify strongly with
their Jewish religion and ancestry. Many of them attend temple regularly and observe Jewish holidays. Believing in a god is not necessary
for them to enjoy their religion. It is the best of both worlds. People can
be true to their mind and live in the real world while still experiencing
a connection to their religious traditions. Perhaps one day we will see
millions of "cultural Christians" and "cultural Muslims" enjoying their
religious traditions without taking any of it too seriously.

Come to think of it, I suppose I could be considered a "cultural
Christian." As I mentioned previously, I like a lot of gospel music,
especially the old stuff, but it goes further than that. I love many
classic films with strong religious themes such as Ben-Hur and The
Ten Commandments. I consider them to be pure fiction rather than the
docudramas some believers think they are, but I still enjoy them. I am
also probably more gung ho about baby Jesus's birthday than most
Christians are. When Christmas rolls around each year, I boom "Away
in the Manger" in my car. I watch It's a Wonderful Life to see that lov able angel Clarence work his miracle on George Bailey one more
time. And I refuse to take down the Christmas tree until well into January. None of this feels hypocritical to me. These things are a part of
my cultural traditions, so I own them every bit as much as any devout
believer does.

The important point here is that, by embracing reason and skepticism, believers do not have to feel disloyal to anyone should they come
to the conclusion that their god is not real. They also do not have to give
up everything they like about their religion if they don't want to. Who
ever said that religion belongs to believers anyway? Religious belief
may belong to the believers but religion belongs to all who want it.

Harpur, James. The Atlas of Sacred Places: Meeting Points of Heaven and
Earth. New York: Henry Holt and Company, 1994.

I cannot be angry at God, in whom I do not believe.

-Simone de Beauvoir

My atheism describes what other people believe and
how other people think; my atheism says nothing
about what I believe and how I think.

-Cliff Walker

ome people attempt to defend their belief in a god by attacking
the alternative. Nonbelief is a tragedy for an individual, they
claim. By turning away from gods, atheists condemn themselves to a cold, bitter, and lonely life. If atheism offers nothing for
one's life, say these believers, then obviously it is a negative and
empty philosophy that should be avoided at all costs. In light of all
this, is skepticism worth the risk? Could it be better to just believe and
never question anything?

With nonsensical ideas like this floating around, it's no wonder so
many people never find the courage to honestly analyze their beliefs.
The claim that atheists are empty inside because they don't have a god
in their life is laughable from the nonbeliever's perspective, but what
about happiness? Maybe the atheist really is humankind's ultimate
loser, forever languishing outside of the true human experience, never
a legitimate member of the team, resigned to exist as nothing more than a lump of flesh that won't be missed by the cosmos when death
comes around.

So, is atheism really such a negative experience? It's a fair question. It is also a very relevant question because many religious people
justify their confidence in a god's existence by imagining that there is
a sort of horrible living death one must endure should they ever lose
their religion. Fortunately for atheists, however, believers are completely wrong about this.

Few groups of people in the world are as misunderstood and misrepresented as nonbelievers. Although atheism does not necessarily
mean anything more than the absence of belief in a god, many believers
eagerly pack that term with as many negative connotations as they can.
These believers typically think that atheists are immoral, mean, bitter,
untrustworthy, and unhappy misfits. If atheism is a negative and empty
lifestyle, then atheists must be negative and empty people, they conclude. This is a common sentiment. More than a few believers have
directly or indirectly told me that they feel sorry for me because I don't
believe in a god. It's a fact that many believers think atheists are victims.
Rick Warren, Christian preacher and author of best-selling The Purpose
Driven Life, says he has never met an atheist who wasn't angry
(Meacham 2007). Warren needs to get out more. Apparently he hasn't
met any of the millions of atheists spread across the world who are
happy and far too busy living their lives to spend time grinding their
teeth over religion. I'm definitely not angry and I'm pretty sure that
most atheists aren't either. Between 46 and 85 percent of Sweden's population are nonbelievers. Do Warren and other like-minded believers
really think that half or more of Sweden's population is angry? Many
believers are so convinced that atheists are a bunch of deranged rebels
who flew religion's coop purely out of anger and arrogance that they
never seem to consider the possibility that most atheists just might be
normal people who simply recognized that there is no good evidence or
arguments for the existence of gods. Becoming an atheist can be a calm
and peaceful process, and probably is for most people. Certainly anger
and misery are not prerequisites for moving beyond belief.

Many believers also think that atheists are by definition bad
people because anyone who could turn their back on a god cannot possibly be of good character. This is why most believers in America, for
example, tell pollsters they would never vote for an atheist candidate.
And this is why blatant prejudice against nonbelievers is not restricted
to extremists on the fringes of religion. For example, when George H.
W. Bush was campaigning for the US presidency in the 1980s he
admitted to a reporter that he had doubts about whether or not American atheists could be considered citizens or patriots. Think about that,
here we have a man who went on to become president and he openly
suggested that atheists were some kind of inferior Americans.

Why do believers develop these negative feelings about people
who don't believe in a god? Most believers are more negative toward
atheists than they are followers of rival religions that strongly contradict theirs. Somehow a typical believer is more comfortable with
someone who says, "I think my god is real and yours is not," than they
are with someone who says, "I think it's likely that no gods are real."
I suspect this is because the existence of atheists is disorienting for
many believers. They might silently wonder how religion and their
god can be so important when people who are kind, sane, and intelligent are able to live happy lives without religion or gods. Those who
believe in other gods can be explained away as well-meaning people
who were fooled by false prophets. "At least they believe in something," says the believer. But the smiling, open-minded atheist is a
contradiction to everything they have been told. Hundreds of millions
of atheists who have looked for gods and found only empty air destroy
the believer's fantasy of an obvious need for religion.