Authors: Jessica Miller
Tags: #romance, #new author, #adult, #contemporary, #new adult
“
I think you two had
enough,” she glared.
I pouted. “No worries. I got beer at my
house.” He threw an arm over my shoulder.
“
Casper, I don’t think you
should drive.”
“
There’s a cab already
waiting out front for you.” Betty gestured to the door.
“
Thanks Betty,” Casper
smiled. He grabbed her and planted a big fat kiss on her cheek. She
tried to hide her smile. She pushed him away, frowning again.
Casper pulled me out of the bar and to the waiting cab. We slipped
into the back and Casper gave the cab driver his
address.
I turned sideways, pulling my legs up on the
seat, and sat back, just staring at Casper. “What?” His cheeks were
bright red.
“
You’re a bad
influence.”
“
I didn’t force the booze
down your throat. You were more than a willing
participant.”
“
True, but it was your
idea. Therein lies the bad influence.”
“
You got me,” he said,
laying his head back. The meaning behind his words felt deeper than
what they really were from the way his eyes searched mine. He
reached out and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. That tiny
gesture ignited a small spark down inside of me. I sat up, suddenly
feeling a strange flutter in my stomach.
“
You okay?” he asked
concerned, reaching for me.
I pulled back, afraid of what his touch
would do to me. “Yeah, sorry. I think it’s all just hitting me. I
should probably eat something.” He smiled, digging in his pocket to
pull out his phone. He placed an order for a pizza to be delivered
at his place.
When the cab pulled up, Casper paid him, and
then took my hand pulling me out with him. I gripped on his arm
tight to keep myself from falling over. We laughed all the way up
the stairs, leaning on each other for balance. I fell down on the
couch, kicking off my shoes, and stretching my legs out on the
small brown coffee table in front of me. Casper retrieved two
bottles of beer from the fridge and handed me one before plopping
down on the couch next to me. He pulled my legs up over his and I
leaned onto his shoulder. He slipped his arm behind me and tugged
me closer, resting his hand on my hip.
I was so comfortable
sitting here next to him that it scared me. I never felt this way
around anyone and I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to act. There
was a knock on the door distracting me from my inner ramblings. I
looked at him wondering who it could be and for a second I thought
maybe it was one of his lady
‘friends’
. “Pizza guy,” he said,
sensing my skepticism. I totally forgot. I slid my legs off of him
and put my beer down thinking I should take a break – at least
until I get something to eat.
I scarfed down three pieces before Casper
even finished his second. “Hungry?” he asked.
“
Yeah, sorry,” I said
through a mouthful.
“
I’m getting used to it.”
He smiled and took a swig of his beer. “You feel
better?”
“
I do yes, thank you.” I
crumpled up my napkin and threw it on the empty plate. Then I
picked up my bottle and finished off my beer in one big chug.
Casper looked at me wide eyed. “Thirsty,” I smiled. He just laughed
and shook his head. “What?”
“
Just when I think I have
you figured out you surprise me.”
“
Is that a bad
thing?”
“
No, not at all.” He threw
his bottle into the recycling and then leaned forward on his
elbows. “What do you want to do now?” I placed a hand over my full
belly. “You wanna lay down?” I nodded. He got up and helped me off
the stool. When we reached the hall, I paused. He looked at me
nervously. A smile twitched at the corner of my lips.
“
Race ya?” I took off
before he could even answer. He grabbed my arm to pull me back. I
smacked him in the chest and he wrapped an arm around my waist
pulling me into him and back against the wall. I squealed as he
struggled to get past me. He picked me up and swung me behind him,
taking off. I reached for him but at first I grabbed air. I
stretched a little further and managed to grip a small section of
his jeans by his foot. I yanked, jerking him back and causing him
to fall to the floor. I did a little victory hop as I jumped over
him.
His long fingers curled around my ankle,
pinning me in my spot. I was so close to the door. The tips of my
fingers brushed the door knob. Just a little more and I got it. I
slipped out of my shoe. Casper threw it aside and got up. I ran
into the room jumping up and down, celebrating my victory. He
tackled me down onto the bed. I squealed, laughing
hysterically.
“
You cheated.”
“
How did I cheat?” I stood
up and started bouncing up and down on the bed. “You’re just a sore
loser.” I stuck my tongue out at him. He gripped the back of my
knees, knocking me back on the bed. I couldn’t stop laughing. He
wrapped his arms and legs around me, trapping me against him. I
pushed the hair out of my face. He looked at me like he was
lost.
“
What are you thinking
right now?”
His eyes darkened. He ran the back of his
hand across my cheek and I closed my eyes. “How bad I want to kiss
you right now.”
The air caught in my
chest. I looked up to see a storm brewing in his beautiful
blue-gray eyes. I swallowed back the lump in my throat. “What’s
stopping you?” I could see him struggle with the decision of his
next move. He slowly slipped a hand behind my neck, tilting my head
upwards, and bringing his lips to mine. The kiss was soft and
gentle, not forced. I kissed him back, loving the feel of his lips
on mine. He pushed himself closer to me, slipping his hand down my
back. My body instantly reacted to his touch. I hooked my leg
behind his knee and rolled onto my back, pulling him on top of me.
Pressing his hips into mine, he deepened the kiss. I could feel his
erection pushing through his pants as he rubbed himself against me,
making me gasp. Wanting to feel his bare skin against mine I
slipped my hands up his back and pushed up his
shirt
.
Lifting his arms over his head he tugged off
his shirt, throwing it to the floor. I did the same with mine and
pulled him back down on top of me. His lips crashed back into mine.
The friction from our bare skin burned, but in a good way. I
dragged my nails down his sides and over the front of his stomach,
making him shiver. Then I unbuttoned his pants and slipped my hand
over his enormous bulge. Casper moaned in to my mouth pressing
himself into my hand. I massaged the tip of his penis as he slipped
his tongue inside my mouth, exploring. I sucked on his tongue
lightly before he moved his lips to my jaw, down to my neck, and
then across my collar bone. Having no patience, he tore off my
jeans along with my underwear. Pressing my knees apart he ran his
fingers down the inside of my thighs. I gripped the sheets to keep
myself from shaking, but I couldn’t contain the moan that escaped
my lips. He slipped in a finger and then a second and I knew when
he pulled them out they would be drenched. He pressed his warm
tongue against my clit and I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted him
inside me. I needed to feel him.
“
Casper,” I gasped.
“Casper.” I ran my fingers through his hair and tugged lightly,
sitting up. He looked up at me with hungry eyes. I devoured his
lips as he pushed me back down on the bed. Struggling to get his
jeans off, Casper sat up and kicked them off the rest of the way.
Then he reached into his nightstand for a condom. He slipped it on
and teased me by rubbing the tip over my clit. Carefully easing his
way down on top of me, Casper pulled down the straps of my bra and
exposed my breasts. With his one hand he gripped it hard and nipped
lightly on my nipple before running his tongue around in circles.
Not able to take it anymore, I reached down and tried to guide him
into me, but he pulled back.
“
Not yet.” He unhooked my
bra and tossed it to the floor. Casper explored every inch of my
breasts with his mouth, sucking, licking, and making my head
spin.
“
Cas, please,” I begged.
Positioning himself so he was right above me, he kissed my lips.
Without any warning he slipped inside and I let out a tiny cry. His
movements were slow and deliberate. Pressing my heels on the bed I
pushed up, wanting to feel him deeper. My fingers glided over the
shortest part of his hair loving the soft texture. Our lips moved
fluently together as he moved in and out painfully unhurried.
Needing to feel the rush I got when our bodies collided, I wrapped
my legs around his hips and pulled him down. Casper propped himself
up on his elbows and looked at me. “I need you here,” I breathed,
placing my hands securely on his lower back and pushing him into
me. He growled, covering my mouth with his. Then he let his weight
sink on top of me, gripping my shoulders tight from underneath,
tugging with every thrust.
“
Faster,” I whispered. He
picked up the speed a bit. “Harder,” I moaned, biting his
shoulder.
“
I can’t. If I do I can’t
guarantee that –”
“
I don’t care.” He stopped
and brushed a piece of hair off of my face. “Don’t stop.” I tried
wiggling beneath him, making him smile. He kissed me hard and deep,
making my lips swell. He buried his head in my hair and drilled
into me. My nails dug into his back and neck as my body exploded
with pleasure. I cried out not caring who heard me. Casper pumped
into me a few more times before he groaned loudly and crashed down
on top of me. We were both panting, overexerted from our little
work out session. He lay there, not moving, and I wondered for a
second if he fell asleep.
He picked up his head, gazing at me
adoringly. He brushed his hand over my flushed cheeks. “You were
nothing I expected, but everything I wanted.” He kissed my tender
lips before he rolled off of me and headed into the bathroom. I sat
up, freaked out by his words. He came back out of the bathroom and
crawled across the bed to me. “Hey, you okay?” He sat behind me
with his legs on either side, his arms wrapped my waist.
Instinctively my body reacted and I leaned back into him, but my
head was screaming to run. He brushed my hair forward and started
to kiss my shoulders. “Did I ever tell you how good you taste?” His
arms slipped from my waist and his hands tickled my arms. I could
feel the goose bumps all over my body. My head was dizzy. I
panicked and stood up abruptly, which turned into a bad idea
because I stumbled.
Casper jumped up to catch me. “Alex, you’re
scaring me a bit here.”
“
Sorry, I think it’s just
all the booze getting to me.”
“
I think you should lay
down.”
I eyed him warily. “That didn’t work out so
well the last time we tried that.”
He didn’t even try to hide his cocky smile.
“I promise just sleep this time.” He pulled me back into the bed
with him. I climbed under the blankets and when his body pressed
close to mine, I relaxed into him, resting my head on his chest. I
never felt like this with anyone. Sex with Casper was amazing.
There was no denying that, and when I was with him I felt safe. I
felt like I belonged, but I knew this could never be anything more
than what it was. Casper wasn’t the type to settle down and I
wasn’t going to spend my time trying to make him. I liked Casper,
more than I wanted to admit, but I also knew a relationship with
Casper would never work. I’ve been down this road before and been
burned enough to know better. I needed someone who was stable and
had ambitions, not someone who lived his life day by day.
I ran my thumb over his cheek. He was so
beautiful when he was sleeping peacefully. I wanted to stay in his
arms forever, but I couldn’t. I waited a while until I knew he was
sound asleep. Then I snuck out of bed and got dressed. I kissed him
goodbye, careful not to wake him. Then I walked a few miles before
I called a cab to come get me to take me home. I crashed the second
I got to my room. I did it again. I slept with Casper and loved
every fucking minute of it. I was screwed.
I slept soundly through the night and made
it in time to my first class. I bumped into Casper on my way to
lunch. He stopped me outside the library. I was a little nervous to
see him after sneaking out on him. “Wanna grab some lunch?” he
asked, nonchalantly. I looked at him skeptical. “I promise just
lunch. We can even get something here.” I agreed and followed him
to the cafeteria as he threw his arm over my shoulder. His reaction
was the perfect example of why Casper would never be boyfriend
material. To him sex was just a pastime. Something he did for fun.
There was no intimacy, no thought, just sex. I sighed and reminded
myself when it came to Casper I needed to think with my head not my
heart. We would never be anything more than friends with benefits.
And the benefits part was killing me. I needed to be stronger
around him. I blamed it on the alcohol again. That was the problem.
I did bad things when I was drinking around Casper. I did bad
things with Casper, but they felt so good it was hard to
resist.
“
Hey, you okay? You seem
somewhere else.” Casper paused right outside the
cafeteria.
I should say something. I
should ask him about yesterday, but wasn’t that the point? Casual
sex was just that, casual, and something you didn’t talk about. No
feelings involved. The only question was
,
what we were doing? I opened my
mouth but no words came out. He looked at me funny. “Nothing,
sorry.” I shouldn’t be upset by this.
I
bailed, not him. If anyone should
be mad it should be Casper. But he wasn’t and that’s what upset me.
I prided myself on being the stronger one. I was the girl who could
sleep with a guy without emotions getting in the way. I decided to
leave it be. If he could pretend that nothing happened then
I
could too. I knew the
game and I played it well. I turned off my emotions, just like I
had every other time. I gave him a faint smile and opened the door
to go inside.