52 Steps to Murder (26 page)

“That’s okay, Miss Nelson. I’ll check back with you when I find out something else.”

Lou and I had just left Angela Nelson when we received a phone call that a ladder had been found just outside the back wall at the Silverman’s house. Had Silverman escaped, too? Or had he returned? I didn’t figure I could get a search warrant until we got the results as to the cause of Mrs. Silverman’s death. Until then, there was no way I could get into the Silverman house unless Silverman admitted me. I would ask if anyone had seen Silverman, but who was there to ask? Everyone was gone, or dead and gone.

All of these new developments made Lou and me hungry. Since it was lunchtime anyway, I made a beeline for the Blue Moon. It would not be long until the amount of food at the Blue Moon would be reduced considerably.

While we ate, I came up with an idea to check on our suspects. After we left the Blue Moon, I called in, received approval, and called the telephone company in order to look over a copy of the phone and cell phone records of everyone who interested us. If anyone started answering the telephone in either the Silverman or Reynolds households, I’d know that one suspect had returned and another had never left. Also, sometimes cell phone records reveal the whereabouts of a person making or receiving a call. I was told I could pick up the records on Monday.

Lou and I had been working hard on the case, so unless a new clue turned up, we would rest until Monday.

38

I drove home. Lightning seemed eager to get home, and so did I. I wanted to mull over the evidence we’d uncovered, and then enjoy a relaxing evening at home. Everything proceeded reasonably well until I noticed the figure who only that morning had gotten progressively smaller in the rear-view mirror of my car was now growing frighteningly larger as I approached my house. Not only did my next-door neighbor seem to be on the lookout for me, but her “fluffy, white rat” stood protectively by her side.

I pretended not to see Heloise Humphert as I turned into the driveway. I hoped that my failure to acknowledge her would send her scurrying back to her house. I hoped wrong.

“Well, Cyrus, you’re home early today. We must celebrate,” Heloise Humphert hollered as she hurried down my driveway uninvited. “Oh, poor Cyrus. You still have your boo-boos. Is there anything I can do?”

“How do you feel about becoming the first person to sail around the world on a raft? I understand you might win the Mark Twain award.”

“Cyrus. I don’t know anyone as funny as you.”

“Maybe it’s time for you to get out and meet some people. Have you tried the New York City subway after dark?”

“Oh, Cyrus. Are you trying to tell me that we’re going to take a trip together?”

“If you like. Let’s go out into the middle of the street, and I’ll trip you first.”

“Let’s be serious for a minute, Cyrus. Are you ready for us to celebrate your coming home early?”

Quick on my feet, I replied, “I think experiment might be the better choice.”

“Oh, Cyrus, you devil you. You must have heard about my collection of flavored lipsticks. I bet you want me to try on some of them while you close your eyes and kiss me.”

“If I had to kiss you that would be the way I would want to do it. Of course I’d have to get plastered first. But that was not the type of experiment I had in mind.”

Heloise blushed and decided to satisfy her curiosity.

“Well, tell me, Cyrus. What did you have in mind?”

I decided to lie and ask for God’s forgiveness later.

“I just came from the doctor. He said what I have is contagious, and while it probably will not prove fatal to me, it could very well prove fatal to anyone who comes in contact with me. He said my condition is particularly dangerous to small animals.”

“Oh, Cyrus, you’re kidding me.” When I didn’t respond, she continued. “You are kidding, aren’t you, Cyrus?”

“Who knows? We know that doctors sometimes exaggerate a condition to scare people into changing their lifestyles. There’s probably nothing to it. You hurry home and get your lipstick collection, and hurry back with Muffy. We’ll keep an eye on her between kisses and if we see her keel over we’ll know that it might be a good idea for you to go home. That is unless you want to go where Muffy goes.”

My neighbor grew apprehensive.

“I’m not sure, Cyrus. Twinkle Toes is just getting over a cold. I think maybe it might be best if we wait until another time to test my lipstick collection.”

With that, Heloise Humphert spun around so fast she almost tripped on Twinkle Toe’s leash. After unwrapping the leash from the lower half of her body, she hurried to her own house. She muttered something about dialing the veterinarian to see if she could bring in Twinkle Toes. She wanted to know if the dog had been exposed to a deadly disease.

I rushed up the back steps of my house, opened the door quickly, and hurried inside. I found a quarantined sign I’d once used as a gag and hung it on the front door in case my neighbor returned. Then I relocked the door, smiled at myself in the mirror, and pictured one of my heroes, Wile E. Coyote.

+++

I leaned back in my recliner, mulled over our case. An hour later I was no closer to solving the case than when I began, so I forgot about it for a while. I hated to take time off before a murder case was solved, but I was trying to be patient, something that was difficult for me. I wondered how the two murders were connected. Who would have a reason to murder both of these old women, and what was that reason? And what had happened to the three neighbors who had disappeared? Did Mrs. Reynolds and Mr. Silverman really despise each other, or was that an act? Had they murdered these two (or maybe three women) and gone away together when their discovery was imminent? Were they in hiding? Or had they been murdered, too?

I would let things rest until Monday. Maybe by then someone would return home. Maybe the phone records would shed some light on some of what went on.

I called Lou to see what he was up to. He answered on the second ring.

“Hello, Cy.”

“How did you know it’s me? Did you get caller ID?”

“I don’t need it. No one else ever calls me except you.”

“Would you like for me to give your number to Heloise Humphert?”

The two of us enjoyed a good laugh as I recanted my most recent encounter with my next-door neighbor.

“So, Lou, what’ve you been up to since you got home?”

“Am I a suspect now?”

“I don’t know. Have you done anything suspicious?”

“Does calling Thelma Lou count?”

“So, Lou called his sweetheart. Have you been talking all this time?”

“No, Cy. I just called to see if she’d like to go out this weekend in case I have some free time. After I hung up, I plopped down in front of the card table and worked on my latest puzzle. I’ve been neglecting it the last few days.”

“Well, Lou, at least you’re a bachelor. You don’t have anyone telling you to work your puzzle or put it away.”

“No, I can leave the card table up as long as I like, which is most of the time. Anyway, I put together a few pieces. You know how exhausting that can be, so after a few minutes I ambled over to the recliner, let gravity have its way, and took a nap. I just woke up a few minutes ago. I’d just picked up my book to see what those wuthering people were up to when you called. So, Cy, did you solve the case or are you just calling to brag on your love life?”

“No, something far more important than either of those.”

“You must mean food.”

“You got it. Do you want to go out and get something to eat, or just remain in your cocoon until the need arises to break out?”

“I may regret this later, but unless you care, I think I’ll just stay here and heat up some of that fiber stuff.”

“Fiber stuff?”

“Yeah, you know. That stuff in the frozen food section at the grocery that comes in a cardboard box and whatever is inside looks as much like someone’s latest decoupage project as it does something edible.”

“Sounds like you’ve been sneaking around in my refrigerator. Okay, I’ll probably do the same. I’ll call you if we get any breaking news.”

+++

I stuffed myself with food that made me long for the Blue Moon Diner. Talking to Lou had inspired me, so I allowed my food to digest in peace while I leaned back in the recliner and took a nap. While I slept, I dreamed I was Wile E. Coyote, and my next-door neighbor was that dastardly Road Runner. While I dreamed, I envisioned the doorbell ringing. I hurried to the door and found a shipment from the Acme Warehouse. With saliva dripping from the side of my mouth in typical Wile E. Coyote fashion, I uncrated each purchase, and did something no man has ever done. I read the instructions.

As I continued to dream, I saw myself counting the minutes until it was dark enough to sneak next door undetected. Then, I eased out of the house, crept to the house next door, hooked up the explosive device, slithered home under the cover of darkness, and waited for the contraption to put an end to my problems.

Little did I know that that Muffy varmint had seen me make my delivery. Silently, Scruffy Muffy sneaked out of her house, disconnected the device, lugged it back to my house with her formidable teeth, and hooked up the device, again.

I suspected nothing when the doorbell in my dreams rang and went to see who was calling. I opened the door, was horror struck as I looked down at the ticking device, and woke up just before the apparatus ticked down to zero. It was then I realized that I needed to get rid of the dog before I eliminated the neighbor.

It was still early when I woke up, so I sifted through my DVD collection and found one Lou had given me. It was filled with commercials from my childhood. I took a chance and watched some of them. If any of them made me hungry, I could always make myself a snack before going to bed.

A few minutes in, I was so disappointed. Instead of commercials I remember, like the Speedy Alka-Seltzer commercial, Johnny the bellboy hollering, “Call for Phillip Morris,” or seeing a man falling from the sky to let Hertz put him in the driver’s seat, I saw a mishmash of repeats of a few commercials that were made in the 70’s. I was so disappointed I went to bed without eating again.

39

I’d had a little more rest the night before, so I woke up a little earlier on Saturday morning, rubbed the sleep from my eyes, and read my daily devotional before I took a shower. I smiled as I envisioned Lou doing the same. There weren’t many times when I got up at nearly the same time as my friend. I read, then reflected on what I’d read, as I watched darkness change into daylight.

So this is what a sunrise looks like.
       

I eased into my day and headed to the shower. I’d just stepped out of the shower when the phone rang. I hurried to the phone to see who was calling. The ringing phone meant the time had come when I needed to change from ordinary citizen Cy Dekker to Lt. Dekker.

“Lt. Dekker, this is Officer Davis. I thought you might want to know that one of the parties has returned to the street.”

“Are we going to play Twenty Questions or are you going to tell me who it is?”

“It’s the next-door neighbor, Irene Penrod, or at least it’s somebody who went into her house. She just stepped out of a taxi, gave me a furtive look, and then lugged her luggage up to her house.”

“Thanks, Officer Davis. You’ve done well. Stay there and Sgt. Murdock and I will be there as soon as we get through with our preliminaries. If by some chance she leaves, follow her.”

Officer Davis had no idea that “the preliminaries” meant overindulging in breakfast.

As soon as I finished my phone call with Officer Davis, I called Lou to let him know there might be a break in the case.

“I’ll be there in thirty minutes,” I informed Lou. Even though I couldn’t see his face, I could envision the surprise that must be on it as he looked at his watch and realized that I was ready so early.

My mind wasn’t so focused on Irene Penrod that I forgot to ask Lou what message God had given him that morning. Because it brought back pleasant memories, Lou let me know.

“Carnac the Magnificent.”

“Carnac the Magnificent?”

“Yeah, you know, the character Johnny Carson played on his show who could tell what message an envelope contained before he opened it.”

“I know who Carnac was. I stayed up later in those days. I was younger then.”

“So, Cy, what do you think it means? Will we run into some guy in a turban or someone with a boatload of envelopes?”

“I was kind of hoping that when we get to the Blue Moon Johnny Carson will be there to entertain us, sort of tickle the ham and eggs to make digesting them a little easier.”

I hung the phone up, got ready to pick up Lou. On the way to breakfast, I kept thinking of the latest development. Would Irene Penrod be able to shed some light on the case and provide the clue of the day? I thought about that until Rosie sat a giant plate in front of me.

+++

Lou and I shoveled in our breakfast, then hurried for Hilltop Place. We parked behind Officer Davis’s cruiser, got out to see if there had been any new developments. As we sauntered up to the cruiser, Officer Davis got out and greeted us. We said our hellos, and the three of us turned and looked up at Miss Penrod’s house. The red brick exterior looked no different than any other time in the last week, but the house’s lone resident had returned, and Lou and I were eager to question her. Officer Davis filled us in with what little he knew.

“As far as I know, she’s still in there. At least she didn’t come out the front way, and I haven’t seen anyone else. The rest of the street is as dead as it has been.”

“Thanks again, Officer Davis. We’ll go up and talk to her now. We’ll stop on our way out.” My voice cracked as I mentioned going up and talking to Irene Penrod. I didn’t relish another climb of that magnitude.

“Say, Lou, what do you say we stand at the bottom of the steps and call out to her? Do you think she’d come down and talk to us on the street? Or better yet, what did Romeo have on us. How about ‘Irene, Irene, wherefore art thou, Irene?’”