Authors: Ellen Schreiber
said. �This house is beautiful�don�t get me wrong,� he lamented. �And the clothes look great on a guy in a magazine�. But�� �What?� �I don�t want to let you down.� �Me?� I said. �I�ve spent my whole life not conforming. Why would I judge you if you don�t feel comfortable in an image that isn�t your own?� �Because if I don�t do it�if that reporter snoops around or it slips out that I sleep in a coffin�that I drink blood for breakfast�� Alexander�s voice rose. �It is dangerous not only for me, but for you.� �I understand.� I, too, was afraid Mr. Lunken would find out and reveal Alexander�s true identity. But mostly for Alexander�s sake. �I�m not sure you do�. Is this the life you really want, Raven? The one you�ve desired all your life? Or is it just about the fantasy of it?� �What do you mean?� I asked. Being a vampire had always fascinated me. I knew there were drawbacks, but weren�t there drawbacks to being mortal? �You are all about showing the world who you truly are. What if you couldn�t anymore?� he asked sincerely. It was something I hadn�t thought about. I�d imagined a life of darkness and mystery, but not one where I�d have to hide who I was. �I don�t know�.� �Think about it. Me, Sebastian, Jagger, even Luna. We�re all in a club that no mortal wants to join�except for you.� �But�� �Have you even told your own mother about me? Or Becky?� �Of course not. I thought you didn�t�� �I know. I don�t.� He wandered back to the mantel, stoked the fire, and gazed into the crackling flames shooting from the burning logs. �But sometimes I do.� I was speechless. Alexander was so much more complicated than I could ever imagine. I did feel sorry for him. I never hid from others my thoughts and tastes, no matter how outlandish, and yet he had to keep secret everything about his lifestyle. �Sometimes I want your parents to know,� he continued. �Just be able to be who I am. And not have them be fearful of me. Not have them run away.� I couldn�t imagine my parents running from Alexander under any circumstances. Maybe this was my opportunity to let them into his world. �Do you want me to tell them?� I moved toward him and drew him in to me. �It will be the end of everything�of our relationship, of my living here.� �What if it isn�t?� I asked excitedly. �What if they embrace it? Then neither one of us would have to hide it anymore.� �You think your father wants you dating a vampire? A guy who drinks blood to exist?� �They�re former hippies. They might think they were having a flashback.� �I�m serious. They aren�t hippies anymore. They are parents of a teenage girl.��Well�� He sat down on the sofa. �It�s been great having Sebastian here. And you. It�s been a long time since I�ve been able to be myself, apart from being with you.� It was quite the sight�Alexander, my once gothic prince, transformed into a handsome quarterback from a boarding school, living in a palatial mansion, pained with loneliness even as I sat right next to him. �This is my life, Raven, whether I have to hide out in a Mansion, live among my kind, or hide out in the Dungeon at the Coffin Club. It�s all about secrecy and survival.� I�d never been about hiding or not getting in people�s faces. Maybe I couldn�t be a vampire after all. Could I take the solitude? Or wandering around like Sebastian, trying to find those who were like me? I felt Alexander was pushing me away�not from him, but from the fantasy of being a vampire. So if I was to truly be with him, I�d have to show him how much I cared for him and push back. �But we�d live together,� I said. �Like your parents do. I just want to be with you�and I just want everyone to love you for who you are, just like I do. But I understand�Alexander, I know I�m impulsive, but I want what�s best for you�no matter what that means.� He turned to me, his eyes soulful and his shiny hair glistening. A gorgeous smile emerged from his serious face. I fixed his collar so it rested flatly. �Besides, it is only temporary. But don�t be mad at me if I slip and call you Trevor.� Alexander didn�t find my joke amusing, and he rose. �I didn�t mean to�� I started. He didn�t speak but shook his head. �I�m sorry. I was just teasing.� �No�you�re right. This isn�t how I live. And most important, this isn�t who I am. He unbuttoned his shirt and removed it, exposing a white Cure T-shirt. I was startled and elated by his bravado. I ran to him and gave him a squeeze so hard I thought I�d pushed the air out of him. �Jameson, we have some moving to do,� he called. Sebastian and Jameson entered the room. �We�re returning the Mansion and me to our original state,� Alexander declared. �What happened?� Sebastian asked. �It�s just not me. I don�t have to come out and say I�m a vampire, but on the other hand, I also don�t have to be ashamed of being myself.� �So what do you want to do now?� Jameson asked. �Reschedule the interview. We�re going to return the furniture. Immediately.� �All of it?� Sebastian asked. Alexander nodded. Jameson shuffled over to Alexander. �Can we at least keep this rug?� Alexander smiled. �Of course.� �And my desk?� Sebastian pleaded. �Yes�.� �Can we keep that outfit?� I whispered, coyly tugging at his brown leather belt. �Just for fun?� �Fine!� he reconciled. �But everything else goes back. I have an interview to do!�12 A Return to Disorder The next day after sunset, I bounded over to the Mansion with a renewed sense of delight. I was eager to see the Mansion return to normal�or what Dullsvillians called a nightmare. I was proud that Alexander made the decision to be himself�or at least be as real as he could be without putting his true identity in danger. I knew it was an extremely hard choice for him to make�but either way he was going to be in the story. It was ultimately better that he shared the macabre artist that he was rather than an untrue, khaki-clad version of what he thought the town wanted him to be. When I arrived atop Benson Hill, the Mansion�s door was wide open. I entered the foyer to find the Mansion restored to its original disorder. The scent of lit candles and musty air that I�d grown to love wafted through the halls. The brand-new crisp white linen covers were gone, exposing the worn Victorian couches. The silver floor lamps had been replaced with dripping candelabras. And the freshly purchased easel and metal desk with blue locker drawers had been taken from the library and the old desk and library books returned. Curious, I bolted up the grand staircase. I peeked into Jameson�s room to find his new accent rug at the foot of his bed. When I surveyed Sebastian�s room, the only thing organized was his shiny new desk. As I drew closer to the TV room, I heard Alexander and Sebastian talking intently. �So haven�t you thought about it, man?� Sebastian asked. �You must have.� �Of course I have,� Alexander answered. �Isn�t it difficult to resist? She is beautiful.� �It isn�t easy.� What were they talking about�who were they talking about? I pressed my back flat to the wall and did my best to hear. �She isn�t a vampire,� Alexander said. �But if she was�man, you could be living the dream. You could sell the bottles in your cellar. She�d quench your thirst for eternity.� They both laughed. �I agree with you that it would be easier if she had been born into our world,� Sebastian began. �That�s what I think. Then there are no decisions�no conflicts, no pressure.� �It�s enormous. I try my best not to think about it.� �But you do�� �Of course I do.� I waited with bated breath to finally get a glimpse into Alexander�s thoughts. Ones that I knew he was reluctant to tell me about. �If Becky were to go out with me, what would I do?� Sebastian pondered. �It would be very hard for me not to want to turn her. How do you manage?� I waited an eternity for Alexander�s response. I pressed my ear closer to the door. I, like Sebastian, was eager to know how Alexander managed. �It�s difficult.� �If only she were born a vampire,� Sebastian said again, �then it would be easier.� �Then she wouldn�t be Raven,� Alexander lamented. I sighed. But what did Alexander think about turning me? I was dying to know more. �So�,� Sebastian pressed. �What�s keeping you from it?� Alexander paused. �Not Raven,� I heard him say. �Not my love for her. Or us being together.� I smiled inside and out.�I do imagine that moment,� Alexander continued. �Raven and I together on sacred ground. The first time I laid eyes on her, I knew she was what I�d been searching for. What I didn�t find with Luna or any girl I�d ever known. But I never planned to fall for a mortal�the responsibility of it all. But no one said love is easy.� I tried my best not to scream in delight. Listening to Alexander admit to Sebastian that he truly wanted me in his world was what I�d been waiting for. �Do you think you ever will?� Sebastian asked. �Ask her�� Would Alexander really turn me? I waited for his answer, but all I heard was deafening silence. �Miss Raven!� I heard a voice say from the shadows. I thought I�d jump clear through the Mansion�s roof. �I didn�t know you arrived,� the Creepy Man said in his thick Romanian accent. �You must have snuck in.� �The door was wide�� �Raven?� Alexander called from the room. Suddenly he was standing before me. �Uh�,� he stammered. �I didn�t know you were here�.� It was obvious he was calculating in his head whether I�d heard their conversation. Sebastian was sitting with a gaming guitar in his hand. �Sebastian was just going to show off his guitar talents,� Alexander said, changing the subject. �We�re just missing a gothic rock star.� �Uh�yeah�,� Sebastian said. �I could use a singer.� They both looked to me. �Sure,� I said. �Just as long as you both have earplugs.� The following day, Alexander closed the coffin lid on Sebastian�s and my participation in his interview. We were banished from the Mansion, and just to be safely at a distance Sebastian and I met at Dullsville�s fountain until Alexander could join us. It was odd, to say the least, to be hanging out with Alexander�s best friend without Alexander. What were we going to talk about? Would it be strange to be hanging out with a guy who wasn�t my boyfriend? The only other guy I was ever alone with, besides the occasional run-in with Trevor, was my snarky little brother. There was no doubt Sebastian was charming. His mood was playful and his intentions toward me benign. What I didn�t plan on was anyone seeing us, since there was a soccer game at school and the whole town was going to be there. �Raven,� I heard a sweet voice call. �Are you two on a date?� It was Becky, the last person, besides Trevor, I wanted Sebastian to see. �Hey, what are you doing here?� I asked. �I thought you�d be at school, cheering for Matt.� �I�m on my way. Where�s Alexander?� �He has an interview with the Gazette. So I was being the tour guide�only Sebastian�s already seen everything in town.� �I know one thing you haven�t seen: Our school�s winning soccer team. Wanna come?� �We can�t,� I said. �Have you ever seen a soccer game?� Becky asked naively. �Yes�� Sebastian replied. �Well, you haven�t seen Matt play.� �True,� he said, �but I�m not sure that�s a good idea. We�re supposed to meet Alexander in an hour.� Even Sebastian tried to put off my best friend. �Don�t be a stick-in-the-mud. I can bring you back here in time.� �You know how I feel about soccer,� I said, trying to be diplomatic. �And especially going to school when I don�t have to.� �Oh, it will be fun. There aren�t any tombstones, but you�re sure to see a killer match.� Before I knew it, Becky was playfully leading Sebastian toward her truck. He looked to me for help. He was struggling with her touching him, and he was doing his best not to make eye contact with her. She opened the passenger door and Sebastian reluctantly began to get in.�No�I�ll sit in the middle,� I insisted, squeezing in before Sebastian had the chance to sit down. I didn�t want Sebastian to be too close to Becky. He�d tasted her blood. That meant Sebastian felt even more of a draw to Becky than he had originally. I could see him wrestling with his inner vampire. Sebastian stared out the window. Becky did her best to engage him in conversation, and he did his best to be polite but remain uninterested. �Don�t leave me alone with her,� Sebastian pleaded as he and I sat on the bleachers. Becky was at the refreshment stand while we held a seat for her. �Alexander will kill me if he finds out I�m seeing her again. You know I didn�t plan this.� �I know�neither did I. We could both get in trouble.� Becky returned with some chips and a container holding three drinks. She handed the tray to me, and as I reached for it, she sat down in between us. Sebastian scooted away. He took out his cell phone and began texting. �Want some chips?� she asked him. He fiercely shook his head. �Who are you texting?� �Just some girls,� he said. Becky dismissed him and took her drink and chips. There was a time-out in the game. I received a text again from an unavailable number. I know where you are� �Who�s texting you?� Becky asked. �I�m here, and I�m the only one who you text.� �I�m not sure. I think they have the wrong number.� The soccer snobs returned to the field. �How long is this going to be?� Sebastian asked with an obnoxiously audible yawn. �What�s wrong with him?� Becky whispered to me. �He�s acting very strangely.� �I�m not sure�.� Just then Trevor scored a goal and the fans erupted in cheers. Sebastian rose to see what was going on. �We�re winning,� she said. Sebastian and Becky locked gazes. They both sat down, and he put away his phone. Before long, Sebastian had lowered his guard. He was into the game, rooting for Matt, and glowing at Becky. He took out his cell phone and began snapping pictures of the action. Then he focused it on Becky, who began to get caught up in Sebastian�s enthusiasm. She posed while I sat as inert as a tombstone. �C�mon, Rave�� she said, placing her arm around me. �Yes, Raven, I�d like some of you, too,� Sebastian suggested. I couldn�t even muster a fake smile. �Now let me take one of you,� Becky said, retrieving her phone. �No�I hate being photographed.�
Sebastian shielded his face with the drink tray. �Weird. Alexander does, too,� Becky said. �Must be something in the water in Romania.� �Must be,� I said. �Then how am I going to remember you when you leave?� she asked, snatching the tray from him. Sebastian froze. His soft, lovelorn eyes melted even more. Becky�s comments had pierced his already aching heart. �All right,� he said. He gazed into the camera intently. He smiled adoringly at Becky. She snapped her camera and the flash went off. He winced as if he�d been struck by a soccer ball. �Are you all right?� she asked. �I got something in my eye�,� he said, recovering his composure. She tucked her phone into her purse and turned her attention back to the game, unaware that she had unwittingly broken his heart. She could never possess his image and he could never possess her love.Becky waved wildly to Matt just as the buzzer went off. �Final quarter,� she said. �We have to meet Alexander,� I said. �We need to go.� Off in the distance, a shadowy figure emerged over the horizon and began strolling down the grassy hill toward us. Even from a distance, his presence was intense. A figure like no other. My own breath escaped me and I felt a magnetic and magical connection. For a moment, words eluded me. Handsome, charismatic, and truly alluring. Alexander Sterling, the perfect vampire.13 Paper Chase I stumbled into the kitchen, my vision blurry from lack of sleep and caked-on eyeliner that had smeared like a chocolate bar in the summer heat. I was greeted by my overly chipper parents, nursing their coffee and tea before making their way to work. �I bet this will wake you up,� my mom said, finding me bumping into the counter as I reached for a mug. �Alexander�s in the paper!� My eyelids shot open like a rocket. �Where is it?� I scoured the countertop and dinette. �Do you have it?� �I think Billy read it last.� �Billy? You let Billy touch it?� I was horrified. �How could you! I know he got his snotty paws all over it! He probably mangled the whole thing!� �Calm down,� my father said. I stormed upstairs to find my brother�s door locked. I banged so hard, my fist pulsed with pain. �It�ll cost you,� I heard him yell back. �It will cost you�an arm and a leg!� The door slowly opened and I pushed myself inside. Billy was nowhere to be found. I jerked open his closet door, then heard his nerdy little voice from behind me. �He says he sleeps in a coffin!� he teased. �What?� I spun around. Billy was standing at his door with the Gazette in his smarmy little hand. I�m not sure who took off first. We both tore down the stairs as Billy cried, �Mom, she�s trying to kill me!� �Nerd Boy�� I screeched, as I�d done all his life. I hadn�t called him that name in months, but in my anger it just naturally rang out. I tackled him before he reached the kitchen. I tried to wrangle the paper out of his hand as he pleaded with my parents for help. It had been a while since we had a major sibling blowout bodyslam event, and he had grown stronger. It took all my might to hold him at bay. �Raven, get off him,� my dad shouted. �Billy, give your sister the paper!� my mom ordered. �She�s sitting on my chest!� Billy hollered. My dad pulled me off my brother by my woven belt, and I grabbed the paper from his hand. I took off for my room, locked the door behind me, and hopped onto my bed. I spread out the paper and carefully tried to smooth the wrinkles. Staring back at me on the front page of the Arts section was my boyfriend, with the caption �An Artist Amongst Us.� �He is so handsome!� I cheered. OUR TOWN�S BEST-KEPT SECRET. A budding young artist, hiding out on Benson Hill. I�d always heard ghost stories about the Mansion on Benson Hill, but I didn�t see any spirits wandering through the halls. I was invited into an old-fashioned estate with a reclusive teen. Homeschooled his whole life, Alexander spends his days and nights painting. �What is his inspiration?� I asked him. �A girl named Raven,� he replied. Though I only saw the first floor, the rest of the Mansion appeared the same. He claims to sleep in a coffin and have a wine cellar straight from Transylvania. This artist might as well be a writer, too. Butthis interviewer wasn�t fooled. The only thing he was really hiding was his talent. Though Alexander Sterling may be able to spin a yarn, he is also able to paint. There is more to this artist than could ever be told. It has to be seen. All you need to do is take a look at one of his paintings. You can see how he loves this town and the people who inhabit it. �Do you want to be famous? Like Picasso, Dal�Monet?� I asked him. �No,� he said. �I just want to be like�me.� I riffled through my desk and found some tape. I placed my boyfriend�s article right over my headboard. Even wrinkled, Alexander Sterling was still the most gorgeous guy I�d ever seen.14 Mortal Kisses I wasn�t the only one who read the article on Alexander. In a town the size of Dullsville, small as a Shrinky Dink, any news was news. No one wanted to be left out from any new information or, worse, be the last one to know. A group of cheerleaders was stretching out in the hallway while I waited for Becky outside the restroom. I was exhausted as usual. �Did you see the picture of that Mansion guy?� the captain asked. �He�s totally hot,� her assistant said, fixing her headband. �He�s really funny,� another said. �Did you see how he was ribbing the reporter? He must be really confident to do that.� �And talented. My parents bought one of his pictures at the Art Auction a few months ago,� the captain boasted. �Hot, talented, and funny.� �How did she ever land him?� her assistant said. They all glared at me. Just then I received a text. Funny article. Picture of a vampire? Impossible. It was pitch-black when I went to Becky�s house to meet her. Her parents weren�t home and her house was unlocked. I called her name throughout each room, but she didn�t answer. I knew she was afraid to go to the barn alone, but perhaps she needed to replace the rake. I found the flashlight resting on the back-porch railing. �Becky? Where are you?� When I finally reached the barn, the metal door was ajar. �Becky? Are you in there?� I heard some whispering voices and a giggle. �Becky? Is that you? Are you okay?� I shined the light on a few bales of hay. On an empty ladder. Then the tractor. It caught Becky, who quickly covered her face. �Becky, what are you doing in here? You hate the dark.� Her hair was messy and she bore a menacing smirk on her face. I helped her up when I noticed two fresh wounds on her neck. �No! What has Sebastian done to you?� �What are you and Alexander waiting for?� �No�Becky! What about Matt?� �He�s not a vampire!� Just then I heard a beeping sound. I awoke to find Mrs. Hathaway and a classroom full of students staring at me. �Miss Madison,� she said with a stern voice. �Is that a cell phone I heard?� �No�it was my alarm clock.� The class laughed.�I have the authority to confiscate anything that is electronic, other than a calculator�which, I might add, you don�t need in history class.� Mrs. Hathaway returned to her lesson, and I quickly checked my message. Let�s make history together. I glanced up and saw Trevor peering back at me. I shook off my dream, and Mrs. Hathaway stepped out of class. �What are you doing this weekend,� Becky asked, �besides sleeping?� Alexander�s party was fast approaching. I didn�t have much time to decorate. I only had one day to gather some gothic and groovy items. I�d been so distracted with keeping Sebastian away from Becky that I hadn�t had much time to be excited about Onyx and Scarlet�s arrival or figure out something to wear. �Uh�not sure,� I finally answered. �Why don�t we all get together?� �I think Alexander has plans,� I said truthfully. �Doing what?� �I�m not sure. I just think I heard him say he was doing something. Nothing big�just hanging in.� �We can stay in, too�unless you don�t want us over.� �Oh�it�s not that. I just hate for you to cancel something dreamy like a movie night when all we are doing is hanging out playing video games.� �Matt loves gaming. Besides, he�s never been inside the Mansion. And I haven�t either, for that matter. We were only outside for Alexander�s �Welcome to the Neighborhood� party.� �How about I get back to you?� I waited for Becky�s response. �Okay. Text me when you know,� she finally said. I felt awful keeping Becky in the dark about Alexander�s party. She was my best friend�I included her in everything. For that matter, she was the only one I�d ever included. If it wasn�t for Becky, I�d have been totally alone all of my life. This was the thanks she got�being excluded from an intimate gathering hosted at the Mansion. But I had to remind myself of the reason I was having the party in the first place�to keep her safe and mortal. I was really shaken by my dream. Imagining Becky as a vampire�and how much she enjoyed it�jolted me. I liked my best friend just the way she was. But the dream felt so real. The fact that my best friend became a vampire before I became one haunted me. I was struck�by jealousy. No one in this town wanted to be a vampire more than I did. Not Becky, or a Pradabee, or an unsuspecting soccer snob. If anyone was going to be bitten in this town, it was going to be me. When the final bell rang, marking my freedom from the doldrums of Dullsville High, I met Becky at our lockers. �Do you mind dropping me off at Annie�s Antiques?� I asked. �I�ll go, too,� she said as she loaded her books in her backpack and I unloaded mine into my locker. �I have nothing to do this afternoon.� I was planning on buying goodies for the party. How could I do that in front of her? �Are you sure?� I asked. �You know how I can dawdle forever. I don�t want you to miss doing your homework.� �I�ve already finished it during study hall,� she said proudly. �Then why are you taking home all your books?� �The real question is why didn�t you take any of yours?� Becky was as good a student as she was a friend. �I have things on my mind,� I said. �I planned on doing my homework in the morning.� She shook her head, as my mother had done a thousand times.We exited the building, got into her truck, and drove the few miles to Annie�s. Annie�s Antiques was one of my favorite haunts. A Victorian-style home was turned into an antiques store, each room filled with knickknacks, furniture, and artwork. Annie greeted me with a warm hello. She was one of the few store owners who didn�t judge me by the way I was dressed, assuming I was going to vandalize or shoplift. The antiques store was also one of the few stops in Dullsville where I regularly bought merchandise. She wore an oversized leopard-print shirt with a black faux-fur collar and black rayon pants. Two golden retrievers roamed throughout the rooms and slept by Annie�s stool. �What are you looking for today?� she asked. �Nothing in particular. Just browsing.� �I got some new things in that might interest you,� she said, pointing to a nearby doorway. I strode across the Victorian home�s hardwood floors, which were weathered by all the foot traffic and furniture being moved in and out. On a small table covered with black lace fabric were items from Halloweens past. Coveting all the goodies, I gathered as many things as I could hold, as if at any moment there could be a swarm of competitive shoppers. �You could use a shopping cart,� Becky said, helping me place the various decorations on the counter. �Look at these!� Becky presented me with three fake tombstones. �You can put them in your room.� �Absolutely!� I found a box of skeleton lights perfect for hanging by the gazebo. �I�m not sure that all the bulbs work,� Annie confessed when I brought them to my already rising pile of merchandise. �It doesn�t matter,� I said, unfazed. �They are a must-have.� I found some lace place mats, dragon-headed candlesticks, and a ceramic raven. �Are you having a party?� Annie asked. �You could decorate a mansion with all this stuff.� Becky gave me a skeptical stare. �Yes, what are you going to do with all these things?� I handed Annie all the money I had in my wallet. �Saving them for a rainy day, I guess.� �It might not rain for a while,� Annie said. �I hope you are able to enjoy them before then.� �I will.� Becky gave me a quizzical look as she helped carry the bags and load them into her truck. �Need help taking them into your room?� she asked when we arrived at my house. �That�s okay,� I said. �I really should do my homework, after all.� That�s all I needed to say to let Becky know something was up. �There�s something you�re not telling me,� she said. �You know I tell you everything�or at least everything I can share that I don�t mind Matt knowing,� I said, giving her a friendly dig. �Fair enough,� she said. �But I�ll find out from you one way or another.� With that, Becky drove off. As I set down my goods on the driveway and unlocked my front door, I still felt a twinge of guilt. Becky had just helped me decorate a party I wasn�t even inviting her to attend. Dusk settled over Dullsville as I anxiously awaited Alexander�s arrival at the cemetery. We were going to share a private moment together before discussing our final plans for the party. It was unusually late. I realized we might have planned to meet at the Mansion. I had finally decided to head back to the entrance when I got a text. Again, it was from an unavailable number. I�m watching you� I was sick of Trevor bothering me, and his game was about to end. I pressed the redial button, prepared to chew him out. I heard a ringing coming from behind me but saw no one. I rose and followed the ringing until I made my way up toward the Sterling monument. Out from the darkness emerged Alexander, a cell phone ringing in his hand.My heart stopped. It couldn�t be. Alexander had a cell phone�and had been texting me? �It goes against everything you believe in.� He smiled a broad smile. �It was you�all along?� I asked, still shocked. He continued to beam. �But you sent me messages during the day,� I said, �when you were sleeping in your coffin.� �You�re not the only one who gets insomnia.� The image of Alexander lying in his coffin, thinking of me and texting, melted me. �But what made you do this?� �I�ve always wanted to sit next to you in class. Buy your lunch. Watch you study. You should have all the