9781618850676UnchainedMelodyHunter (7 page)

Annalise
hung her head and refused to look at him. “I never intended to leave you,
Ethan. It was never what I wanted. I couldn’t have come back to you right then—not
after what happened to me, not even if you had wanted me to.”

He
lifted her chin with gentle but firm pressure from his fingertips. He wanted to
look her in the eyes as she talked. “What do you mean, even if I had wanted
you? Of course, I wanted you. Our time together was the most wonderful
experience of my life. I had every intention to continue seeing you. I wanted
to explore what was between us, to see if we could possibly make it permanent. If
something went wrong, why didn’t you call me and explain? I would have come to
you, anywhere, anytime.”

She
looked up at him, a small frown on her face. “Ethan, I did call you. You know that.
Don’t pretend you don’t.” A little bit of panic filtered through her carefully
maintained control.

“No.
You didn’t. A phone call from you is something I definitely would remember.” His
jaw clenched and a muscle in his cheek began to twitch. She so wanted to reach
up and soothe his concern. She didn’t understand what he was saying, but it
didn’t really matter now.

“Ethan,
don’t do this, please. It doesn’t matter, now. It’s over. Those days and times
are ancient history.”

“You’re
wrong. It matters more than anything. Tell me, Lise. Tell me about the phone
call.” He pressed her for an explanation.

She
spoke gently, no condemnation in her voice. “I called you and a woman answered
your cell. She didn’t identify herself and I didn’t ask. I told her I needed
you. I told her to tell you I was in the hospital and that I needed you to come
to me. She told me to hold on while she gave you the message. I did and when
she came back, she told me you said it was over, that we were over, and that
you had decided to move on. She said you hoped I would be all right, but you had
no intention of coming to me.”

He
ran a desperate hand through his hair, walked away from her and slammed a hard
fist against the door. “No! No! Lise, I never got your message. I wouldn’t have
said those things. If I had known where you were, if I’d had any idea you were
hurt—I would have moved heaven and earth to be with you. I didn’t want what we had
to be over. Our relationship was far too precious to me.” Ethan paced up and
down the room, as if he were seeking some way to turn back the clock and make
things right. He didn’t know what to think? Who answered his damn cell phone? “What
day did you call?”

What
difference did it make? She thought for a moment, trying to remember the date
of her first surgery. This would have been the week before. “March 25
^th
,
I believe.”

“That
was the week after spring break. That was the week I went searching for you. Shit!
I didn’t take my cell phone with me. I left it in the Frat house.” It had to
have been Francine. Damn her to hell! It was all beginning to make sense. Francine
was sick as well as cruel. “It had to have been Francine. Lise, Francine lied. She
didn’t want you to come back.”

“Come,
let’s sit down.” She led him by the hand and they went to the couch. “Stop,
worrying. It wasn’t your fault. Sometimes bad things happen and there is
nothing we can do to change them.” She sat and pulled him down next to her. “I
have come to terms with what happened. We had something extraordinary and I
would not change one moment of our time together. I survived and moved on and
it seems that you are doing well. I’m just grateful our paths have crossed one
more time and we can have a sense of peace and closure about our past.” Annalise
was putting on a brave front, but her words were a load of crap and she knew
it. She would have given anything in the world to pick up where they left off,
but that just wasn’t a possibility. Not with her scars.

“I
still don’t understand, what happened to you? What were you doing in the
hospital? Was it a car accident? Were you sick? What happened to you? Tell me
the truth.” He was almost frantic in his questions.

She
rose and walked away from him. He deserved to know the truth, just not the
whole truth. She would tell him enough, but not the very worst part. Walking
back to him, she knelt and sat down at his feet. This was the man she loved
more than life itself. She had to be careful; she didn’t want him to be hurt
any worse than he already had been. At this point, her feelings weren’t
important at all. He was so precious and now that she knew he had not grown
tired of her—well she wished it made a difference. It did in a way, it made
their time together sacred, holy, even. But it still didn’t give them a future.
Nothing could.

Almost
absently, she let her hand rest on his knee, her fingers caressing the hard
muscle of his thick, strong leg. “My family went to Houston over spring break. It
was one of the few vacations we ever took as a family. I have a sister who is
two years younger than me. Her name is Scarlet. This vacation was a treat for
us. We went to the amusement park and the aquarium.”

She
watched his face; he was looking at her so intently. “Dad got us rooms at a
downtown hotel. Not the best one, but a nice one. The third night we were
there, we went to a seafood restaurant about four blocks from the hotel. We
walked. Afterwards, we had plans to go to a movie.” She stopped to regain her
composure. “You know what a klutz I am, I got so excited over the fried shrimp
I spilled a half a bowl of cocktail sauce all over my dress.”

Ethan
smiled; he had loved to watch her eat. She enjoyed her food, almost as much as
she had enjoyed making love with him. “I didn’t want to go to the movies
looking so messy, so I decided to walk back to the hotel and change clothes
while the rest of them had dessert.” She smiled at him weakly. “I hadn’t
planned on eating dessert. I didn’t want to put on weight over spring break; I
was trying to stay pretty for you.” He reached for her, but she took his hand
in hers, preventing him from drawing her into his lap.

He
had a bad feeling about what she was about to say.

“I
walked back to the hotel by myself. And I almost made it.”

The
silence was deafening.

“What
do you mean, you almost made it?”

“I
crossed the last street and was about to walk past the last alley, when I was
attacked. There were four of them. I didn’t have any money, so they, they…beat
me.” Ethan jumped up; he refused to stay where he sat, and took her hand. She
tried to pull away, but he held fast—he was much stronger than she was. He
joined her on the floor, kneeling in front of her, pulling her into his arms,
wrapping himself around her as if now, at this late date, he could shield her
from harm. She continued to speak.

“I
lost a lot of blood. I was in the hospital for a long time. I had two
operations. I called you before I knew I needed to have the surgeries.” She
couldn’t explain anymore without telling him where she was hurt and how bad. She
pulled from his embrace, forcing herself to stand and put some distance between
them. “But I’m all right now, everything works again. I just wish you hadn’t
been hurt in the process.”

“Oh,
God, baby. I’m so sorry you were hurt.” He pulled her to him and cradled her
head on his shoulder. “When, you didn’t come back…I thought you regretted our
time together.”

“Never.
I came back, you know—to Austin and to UT. I missed one whole semester and then
I came back. You, of course, were already gone, graduated and moved away. I
hope that you’ve been happy.”

He
said nothing. He just looked at her, an unreadable expression on his face.

She
had to say something, had to break this maudlin mood. “Did you say something
about spaghetti?”

“Lise…”
Obviously, Ethan wasn’t ready to let it drop.

“Let’s
don’t talk about it anymore. I just want to be near you for a few days, until
it’s time for me to go.”

“Lise,
there’s so much…” She walked up to him and bravely placed two fingers over his
lips. He immediately kissed the seal placed over his mouth.

“Hush.
No regrets. What time do you want me to come over?”

He
kissed her fingers once more, and gently removed her hand. “Seven. And this
isn’t over. Not by a long shot. But I can be patient, I’ve waited this long, a
little while longer won’t kill me.” He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. “I
want you to know that even now, thinking about someone hurting you breaks my
heart. If I had known you needed me, I would have crawled to you. There is
nothing in this world that would have kept me from your side.”

He
left her standing there and her heart left with him.

* * * *

Time
dragged by. She puttered around the cabin, tried to write and she walked the
dog. Why did she accept his invitation? She knew why. She was selfish. Ethan’s
brothers would provide a shield between her and Ethan. She would be able to be
near him and the brothers would be there to take the pressure off. Discovering
he didn’t have a wife had lifted a mountain of weight from her soul. But now it
was time to get ready.

The
shower in the attractive bathroom was heaven-sent. Annalise ached all over from
the tension of being so close to the one she adored, yet having to remain at
arm’s length…well…most of the time. The memories of their kisses and caresses
were burning in her soul. But she couldn’t let that happen again. And now it
was time to remind herself exactly why that had to be. She stood before the
vanity mirror, naked. From this vantage point there appeared to be nothing
wrong with her. Yet, she knew if she were to open her legs, the web of scars on
her inner thighs would be clearly visible. No amount of creams or steroid
injections had fazed them to any degree. Two surgeries had lessened the shock
value of them somewhat, but the doctors said she would need more surgery. Annalise
had struggled with the idea to just let it go, after all no one was going to
see them but her. And only one other person ever had—with the exception of the
medical staff.

Her
foolish marriage had proven catastrophic to put it mildly. After Jeffrey had
gotten a good look at his new bride on their wedding night, it had all been
over. And the memory of his repulsion was the only incentive she needed to keep
a distance between herself and Ethan.

Annalise
didn’t see the beauty. She didn’t see the perfect shape of her body or the
smoothness of her skin. The tantalizing shape of her own breasts was lost to
her. The only thing she saw was the handiwork of the drunk, who, so frustrated
at his inability to perform, had raped her viciously with a broken whiskey
bottle as his four friends held her immobile. This had been the incident that
brought her world to a crashing halt, the one that kept her from returning to
Ethan. This was the reason she slept alone.

Oh,
everything still worked perfectly well—the reconstruction team had performed a
miracle. The doctor joked with her and told her he had created a tighter sheath
for her than she possessed originally. She knew the sensations were all still
there; her clitoris—amazingly—had been undamaged. Her ability to feel sexual
excitement and experience orgasm remained unchanged. She was certain of this,
because she touched herself often enough thinking about Ethan when the nights
grew long and her bed seemed to double in size.

She
fantasized about him. After the rape, her father had supported the physical
help she received—the surgeries and the skin grafts. What he had not supported
was psychological support. He told her to pull herself up by her bootstraps and
be strong. That had been nearly impossible.

Dr.
Sanderson, one of her surgeons, had told her to write. Write everything down. Write
her fears and frustrations. Write her dismay and disillusionment. Write her
fantasies. Ethan had been her fantasy. So from one doctor’s sage advice her
career had been born.

She
had been able to deal with her mental anguish and keep the memory of her time
with Ethan alive. He was the hero in every book she wrote. The main male
character always possessed his face and his body. Every erotic word or gesture
he had made to her found its way into the pages of her novels. And when she had
run out of actual memories of him, she had dreamed up new ones—imagining—weaving
scenes of love that filled the pages of her books. Every word she composed was
a tribute to the precious hours they had spent together.

Grimly,
she bent the knee of one leg and opened her thighs—just enough, so the mirror
reflected her greatest shame. The ridges weren’t as prominent or as red as they
once were, now they were muted and pink. Still, the place where she had once
cherished Ethan—the place where she had proven her desire for him—it was now
marred and ugly. Annalise turned from the mirror and stepped into the shower. Tears
mingled with the warm water as she let the gentle spray wash away her hopes and
dreams.

After
showering, she dressed in another cotton sundress, this time a deep purple. She
carefully applied her makeup, attempting to eradicate the evidence of her pity
party. Checking the clock by her bed, she realized it was still too early to
show up at their door.

Waiting
for the time of her invitation to arrive, she lay on the bed and relived one of
her sweetest remembrances.