A Beautiful Sin (36 page)

“But they won’t go with my dress.”

“But…”

“Canaan, are we taking a car or walking?”

“A car.”

“I’ll be fine.”

He scratched his head, and then looked at my feet again. “You might fall on the ice.”

“I’ll have you to hold on to. Let’s go.” I grabbed my coat and started to put it on, but he grabbed it and helped me. He was such a gentleman. Then he spun me around and buttoned it all the way to the top.

“Do you have a scarf?”

I went and dug one out of the closet. I already learned he was too protective so it was no use arguing with him. Handing the scarf to him, he wrapped it around my neck and off we went. A car was waiting for us right outside, and I laughed at him.

“I didn’t even have time to feel the winter air.”

“And that’s a good thing.”

The drive to our destination was brief. It was a restaurant. An upscale one. I raised my brows and elbowed Canaan. “What’s up with this kind of fancy?”

He didn’t respond but flashed me a smile I would’ve paid good money for. He gave his name to the hostess and we were led to a very private table in the back corner.

Dinner was amazing, but what happened afterward was even better. When our dessert came, Canaan pulled a letter out of his suit coat pocket and slid it to me.

“What’s this?”

Grinning, he said, “Just read it.”

So I did. And when I finished I couldn’t believe it.

“Is this the real deal?”

“It is. I start immediately.”

It was a letter confirming his position as a professor at Loyola University. And he explained that the position he would be taking over was for another professor who had unfortunately fallen ill and was going to resign. They needed someone to come in immediately, and Canaan, with his Ph.D. in Theology, fit their requirements perfectly.

“Do they know about you and me?”

He nodded. “I was brutally honest and was surprised I got the position. But the dean who hired me said he thought my honesty was refreshing and also thought I could bring some new air into the program. I’m not so sure, but the youth of today don’t necessarily share the beliefs that I do, so I may have a tough job ahead of me.”

“But you’re smiling.”

“Oh, I love a good challenge when it comes to debating the presence of God.”

“So what exactly will you be teaching?”

He tapped his head and chuckled. “Ha, I forgot to tell you. The name of the class is
Does God Exist
.”

“Hmm. Isn’t that something I may have mentioned to you in the past, about my thoughts?”

“Oh, don’t worry. That’s one of the things on my list of
To Dos With Haven
.”

I grabbed his wrist. “Your what?”

“I’m making it my mission to change your mind about your thinking. But not tonight. I have something else in mind.”

My hand was still holding his wrist, but he flipped his hand over and laced his fingers with mine. “Do you remember what I said when I came to visit you after you moved back here?”

“That you loved me?”

His mouth curled into a beautiful smile. “Well, that, but something else.”

“That you wanted to marry me.”

“Yes, but that I wanted to court you. And I have.” A worried look gathered his brows. “I have, haven’t I?”

“Yes, and it’s been amazing.”

The worry lines disappeared. “So, I’ve been thinking. About us, a lot. And I’d like to ask you to become my wife. Will you honor me and become Mrs. Sullivan? We can’t marry in the Catholic Church, or I’ll have to speak to Bill or Father Tony about that. Once a priest, always a priest, so I’m sure we’ll have to marry in another church. If that’s okay. And I won’t be able to afford a—”

“Canaan, I’ll marry you tomorrow at the court house.”

His mouth opened and he practically recoiled at my words. “I…we…not get married in a church?”

This was absolutely the wrong thing to say to a priest. “You’re right. What about getting married in the Episcopal or Lutheran church and asking Bill or Father Tony to officiate the ceremony?”

His stiffened posture relaxed and he smiled. Nodding, he said, “I think that would be very nice. A merging of the two. Blessed by the priests and in a church. And you would be okay with this?”

“It would be perfect. Did you have a date in mind?”

“Any time before the baby arrives would be great for me, but the sooner the better. You?”

I giggled like a schoolgirl. “Tomorrow?”

“Oh, I nearly forgot.” He reached into his pocket. “I’m still learning.” He placed a small black box on the table. “If you don’t like it, you can exchange it for something else.”

Shock didn’t describe what I felt. Inside the box sat a ring. But not just any ring. It was a ruby surrounded by diamonds. And it was perfect.

“It’s stunning.” I slipped it on my finger and it sparkled by the light of the candle.

“I chose the ruby because of how we are connected. In a way, our blood was mingled before we even knew it. Maybe it was a sign we were meant to be together. God does work in mysterious ways.”

“Hmm. I never thought of it that way.”

“He does. I never thought I’d be sitting at a table in a restaurant, with the most beautiful woman in the world, who has just agreed to be my wife. And who has also changed my life and turned it into heaven.”

“Canaan, you’re the one who’s changed my life. You brought love into it and you allowed me to trust again.” I leaned in close to him. “Can you take me home now? There’s something I want to do when we get there.”

He stood up so fast he knocked his chair over. I doubled over laughing. But then he sat back down after righting it.

“Haven,” he admonished. No matter what I did, he was sticking to his
no more sex before marriage
rules
.

We barely got the door to my apartment opened when his mouth slammed onto mine and we clumsily grabbed for each other. My bulky coat was in the way, along with my silly scarf, and Canaan in his haste tugged it off, but in the process started choking me. I grabbed his hands to stop him and when he saw what he was doing, he shook his head and let go. I rid myself of the damn thing and shrugged off my coat.

“Will you unzip me, please?”

“Are you sure you trust me not to tangle you up?”

“Um, if you want me naked, I’m going to have to.”

“You know I can’t have you naked. I’ll unzip you then close my eyes so you can change.”

“My man with the self-control of steel,” I teased.

Two months later, in May, we stood in the Episcopal Church. Both Father Tony and Bill were there to officiate. Our only guests were Kathy, Macie and her family, and Canaan’s parents, who I was already very fond of. It was plain to see from where he had gotten his kindness. His mother and father had taken me into their arms on our first meeting and welcomed me into their family.

When it came to our vows, we gazed at each other without a prewritten script, having written our own vows. On my turn, I spoke simply from the heart, telling him how much he meant to me and how much I loved him.

But Canaan’s blew me away. Of course, being on the hormonal roller coaster, I wouldn’t be able to stop crying throughout, and Macie offered me the giant box of tissues she’d thoughtfully brought with her.

“Haven, I don’t know if you know this or not, but they misspelled your name. They left out the
E
. It should be
Heaven
, for that’s what you are to me. But then again, maybe not. Because you are also my Haven, my safe place, my sanctuary, my oasis. They say God works in ways beyond our understanding, and he certainly did with us. If anyone had told me a year ago I would be standing at an altar getting married, well, I would’ve called them crazy. And now as I look at my life, at our lives, I can’t think of anything any better than this. A love so true and all-encompassing that it makes me thank God every day over and over that He led us to each other.

“So, on this day, our wedding day, I can’t give you my heart, because you already own it, and I can’t give you my soul, because you already share it. But instead, I give you all of me until this life of mine or yours has ended, because you possess every single bit of me, and I know you will cherish it as much as I will cherish yours.” 

Then he leaned in to kiss me, but I stopped him. “You can’t kiss me yet.”

“Yes, I can. And I’m only kissing your cheek.”

I sniffled back tears but didn’t do a very good job of it.

Father Tony pronounced us husband and wife, and Canaan finally got his big kiss in. He held my face, dabbed at my tears with his thumbs, and kissed me long and deep to the chuckles around us. “I hope those are happy tears,” he said.

“Yes, but your vows were so amazing.”

“I love you, Haven. You’re amazing. Do you have any idea what you’ve done for me? You’ve changed my life, brought real meaning into it. You’ve given me joy that I never had.”

My arms, which were wrapped around his neck, hugged him even harder. “It’s crazy to think how empty my life was without you.”

“Psst. I think the natives are restless.” Macie poked my back.

We turned to face the small group and they clapped. My cheeks heated because I was sure they’d heard us.

“Shall we head to the house?” Canaan’s dad asked.

“Sure,” Canaan said. His parents were giving us a small reception.

On the way over, Canaan asked, “So, wife, you never told me what Jonathon said about your pregnancy.”

There was a reason for that. I didn’t want him to be angry. “He didn’t say a whole lot except not to forget about all the orders I had to fill.”

“Figures.”

In the short time Canaan had been in my life, he didn’t have a great fondness for Jonathon. He thought Jonathon took advantage of me, and when my current contract was up, he wanted to renegotiate it so Jonathon would earn less or maybe nothing at all. We would see. But Jonathon was a big name in art. So I planned to hire a well-known attorney to make sure my interests were protected in the contract renewal or I would threaten to go elsewhere. And this time, all the fine print would be spelled out for me.

“Did I tell you how beautiful you are?”

“Yes, and you look quite gorgeous yourself.” I leaned across the seat and kissed his cheek.

“Nothing will ever be as special to me as you are.”

After the reception, which, thankfully didn’t last too long, we headed for our hotel for the night. I was much more than eager to get my man undressed. In fact, I was downright horny.

At the front desk, I had to suppress multiple giggles as Canaan fumbled with his credit cards during check-in. There was a good reason for this. My hand had snuck under his coat and was pinching his ass. And oh, I couldn’t wait to see that naked ass again.

He slid the card in the slot and the door clicked. When I turned the handle, he pushed it open so hard it slammed against the wall. When my mouth opened in surprise, his was there to take advantage of it. Warm lips pressed mine as his tongue tested out the waters. He was still unsure of himself, but everything about him was perfection. I cupped his cheek, and not the one on his face, and squeezed. He wasn’t used to anything sexual yet, but it was going to be fun watching him learn.

“Canaan, do you mind unzipping me, please?”

Large hands reached around me and expertly did the job. I slipped the dress off and stood before him in my bra and panties.

“Oh, good heavens. I am so glad I didn’t know this was all you had on underneath that dress. I would have never been able to get through the ceremony, much less the reception.”

“Your turn.” My eyes never left him for a second as he freed himself of his clothing. He was absolutely magnificent, standing there in nothing but his boxer briefs with his straining erection. I tugged those off of him and put my hand around his velvety cock. He automatically reached to take off my bra, which he was still clumsy with, and as soon as it was unhooked, we moved into each other’s arms.

His kiss was like fire, flame in my veins. But it always was. Heat roared through me, and I was sure he could feel it. All I wanted was to feel him inside of me. He pulled away for a second, crouched down, and slid my thong off. Then he stood and cupped me, sliding a finger inside.

“You’re so warm and soft. And wet.”

“You make me that way.”

I took his finger, circled my clit with it, but I wanted him. His lips found mine, and moments later he lifted me and planted himself inside of me.

“Is this okay?” I loved how he checked to see if I was good with whatever he did.

“Oh, it’s perfect.”

His hands grasped my cheeks and moved me to a perfect rhythm as he backed me into a wall. Canaan’s face as we made love was an artist’s dream—this artist’s dream, and one I would never share with another. The V between his brows, the creases on his forehead, the opening of his mouth, all came together to create a striking view. And that was only his face. His body could’ve been a sculpture. And when I heard the words, “I’m going to come,” it was all over for me too.

Afterward, he carried me to the bed. Then he went to the bathroom and brought back a cloth to clean me up and also a glass of water. He was so considerate.

That night, Canaan didn’t merely show me how much he loved me. He worshipped me with his mouth, hands, tongue, and body. He shared his heart and soul with me and kissed me until my body tingled from lack of oxygen. We fell asleep, him curved around me, whispering how much he loved me.

I woke later with large hands resting on my swollen belly as he gently placed his lips on it.

“You awake?” he said softly.

“Yes.”

“I can’t believe we’ve created this beautiful miracle, you and me. A miracle of life. I’m humbled by the gift we’ve been given. God has blessed us with something more precious than gold. I’m just so awed knowing a tiny person who could look like me or you or maybe both of us grows inside of you. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for either of you.”

Tears of joy spilled from my eyes, because he was right. There was no greater gift and the only thing missing was my mom, knowing she would never see my nugget. But there was something else Canaan had given me. Faith—faith that somewhere she was watching over me and hopefully she would approve of the changes I’d made in my life.