A Bend in the Road (14 page)

His voice was
tender as he met her eyes.

“I guess what
I’m trying to say is that I don’t need time, Sarah . . . I don’t know . . . I
just know that I’m missing something in my life, and that until I met you, I
didn’t know what it was. If you want me to take some time to think about it, I
will. But that would be for you—not for me. You haven’t said anything that
could change the way I feel about you. I’m not like Michael. I could never be
like him.”

In the kitchen,
the timer went off with a ding, and both of them turned at the sound. The
lasagna was ready, but neither of them moved. Sarah suddenly felt light-headed,
though she didn’t know if it was the wine or Miles’s words.  Carefully, she set her wineglass on the
table and, taking a slow breath, stood from the couch.

“Let me get the
lasagna before it burns.”

In the kitchen,
she paused to lean against the counter, the words coming once more.

I don’t need
time, Sarah.

You haven’t
said anything that could change the way I feel about you.  It didn’t matter to him. And best of all,
she believed him. The things he’d said, the way he’d looked at her . . . Since
the divorce, she’d almost come to believe that no one she met would understand.

She left the
pan of lasagna on the stovetop. When she returned to the living room, Miles was
sitting on the couch, staring into the fire. She sat down and rested her head
on his shoulder, letting him pull her close. As they both watched the fire, she
could feel the gentle rise and fall of his chest. His hand was moving
rhythmically against her, her skin tingling wherever he touched.  “Thank you for trusting me,” he said.

“I didn’t have a
choice.”

“You always have
a choice.”

“Not this time.
Not with you.”

She lifted her
head then, and without another word she kissed him, brushing her lips softly against
his, once, then twice, before meeting them for good. His arms moved up her back
as her mouth opened, and then she felt his tongue against hers, the wetness
intoxicating. She brought one of her hands to his face, felt the rough stubble
beneath her fingertips, then traced the stubble with her lips.  Miles responded by moving his mouth to her
neck, gently nipping and kissing, his breath hot against her skin.

They made love
for a long time; the fire eventually burned itself out, painting the room with
darker shadows. Throughout the night, Miles whispered to her in the darkness,
his hand always in movement against her, as if trying to convince himself that
she was real. Twice, he got up to add more logs to the fire. She retrieved a
quilt from the bedroom to cover them up, and sometime in the early morning
hours, both of them realized they were ravenous. They shared the plate of
lasagna in front of the fire, and for some reason, the act of eating
together—naked and beneath the quilt—seemed almost as sensual as anything else
that had happened that night.

Just before
dawn, Sarah finally feel asleep and Miles carried her to the bedroom, closed
the drapes, and crawled in beside her. The morning was overcast and rainy,
dark, and they slept until almost noon, the first time that had happened for
either of them in as long as they could remember. Sarah woke first; she felt
Miles curled around her, one arm on top, and she stirred. It was enough to wake
him. He lifted his head from the pillow, and she rolled over to face him. Miles
reached up and traced her cheek with his finger, trying to suppress the lump
that had formed in his throat.

“I love you,” he
said, unable to stop the words.

She took his hand
in both of hers, bringing it to her breast.

“Oh, Miles,” she
whispered. “I love you, too.”

During the next
few days, Sarah and Miles spent all their free time together—not just on dates,
but around the house as well. Jonah, instead of sorting through what it all
meant, simply let his questions slide for the time being. In his room, he
showed Sarah his collection of baseball cards, he talked about fishing and
taught her how to cast a line. Occasionally he would surprise her by taking her
hand as he led her off to show her something new.

Miles watched
all of it from a distance, knowing that Jonah needed to figure out exactly
where Sarah fit into his world and how he felt about her. It made it easier, he
knew, that Sarah wasn’t a stranger. But he couldn’t hide his relief at seeing
them get along so well.

On Halloween,
they drove to the beach and spent the afternoon collecting seashells, then went
trick-or-treating in the neighborhood. Jonah went around with a group of
friends, Miles and Sarah trailing behind with other parents.  Brenda, of course, peppered Sarah with
questions at school, once word had spread in town. Charlie, too, made mention
of the news. “I love her, Charlie,” Miles said simply, and though Charlie,
being from the old school, wondered whether everything had moved a little too
quickly, nonetheless slapped Miles on the back and invited both of them to
dinner.

As for Miles
and Sarah, their relationship progressed with a dreamlike intensity. When they
were apart, they hungered for the sight of each other; when they were together,
they longed for more time. They met for lunch, they talked on the phone, they
made love whenever they had a quiet moment together.  Despite Miles’s attention to Sarah, he also made sure to spend as
much time alone with Jonah as he could. Sarah, too, did her best to keep things
as normal as possible for Jonah. When she sat with him in the classroom after
school, she made sure to treat him the same way she had before, as a student in
need of help. If it seemed to Sarah that he sometimes paused in his work to
watch her speculatively, she didn’t press him on it.

In
mid-November, three weeks after they’d first made love, Sarah cut back the
number of days that Jonah had to stay after school from three to one. For the
most part, he was caught up; he was doing fine in reading and spelling, and
though he needed a little more help with math, she figured one day a week ought
to do it. That night, Miles and Sarah took him out for pizza as a sort of
celebration.

Later, however,
while tucking Jonah into bed, Miles noticed that his son seemed quieter than
usual.

“Why the glum
face, champ?”

“I’m feeling kind
of sad.”

“Why?”

“Because,” he
said simply, “I don’t have to stay after school as much anymore.”

“I thought you
didn’t like staying after school.”

“I didn’t at
first, but I kind of like it now.”

“You do?”

He nodded. “Miss
Andrews makes me feel special.”

• • •

“He said that?”

Miles nodded.
He and Sarah were sitting on the front steps, watching Jonah and Mark jump
their bikes over a plywood ramp in the driveway. Sarah’s legs were drawn up
close and she had her arms wrapped around them.  “Yes, he did.” Jonah went zipping by them, Mark right behind,
onto the grass where they intended to circle around again. “To be honest, I’ve
been wondering how he would handle our seeing each other, but he seems to be fine.”
“That’s good.”

“How’s he doing
in school with this?”

“I really
haven’t noticed much of a change. For the first few days, I think some of the
other kids in class were asking him about it, but it seems to have died down
some.”

Jonah and Mark raced
by again, oblivious to their presence. 
“Do you want to spend Thanksgiving with Jonah and me?” Miles asked.
“I’ve got to work that night, but we can eat early, if you don’t have plans.”
“I can’t. My brother’s coming home from college and my mom is making a big
dinner for all of us. She invited a bunch of people—aunts, uncles, cousins, and
the grandparents. I don’t think she’d be too understanding if I told her to
count me out.”

“No. I don’t
guess she would.”

“She wants to
meet you, though. She keeps bugging me to bring you over.”

“Why don’t you?”

“I didn’t think
you were ready for that, just yet.” She winked. “Didn’t want to scare you off.”

“She can’t be
that bad.”

“Don’t be so
sure. But if you’re game, you can join us for Thanksgiving. That way we could
spend it together.”

“You sure? It
sounds like you have a full house already.” “Are you kidding? A couple more
won’t make any difference. And besides, that way you can meet the whole clan.
Unless, of course, you’re not ready for that yet, either.”

“I’m ready.”

“Then you’ll
come?”

“Plan on it.”

“Good. But
listen, if my mom starts asking some strange questions, just remember that I
take after my father, okay?”

• • •

Later that
night, with Jonah away at Mark’s again, Sarah followed Miles into the bedroom.
This was a first: Up until now, they’d always stayed overnight at Sarah’s
apartment, and the fact that they found themselves in the bed once shared by
Missy and Miles wasn’t lost on either of them. When they made love, there was
an urgency to it, an almost frantic passion that left both of them breathless.
They didn’t speak much afterward; Sarah simply lay beside Miles with her head
on his chest as he ran his hands gently through her hair.  Sarah had the sense that Miles wanted to be
alone with his thoughts. As she gazed around the bedroom, she realized for the
first time that they were surrounded by pictures of Missy, including one on the
bedstand that she could reach out and touch.

Suddenly
uneasy, she also spotted the manila file he’d mentioned before, the one filled
with information he’d assembled after Missy died. It sat on the shelf, thick
and well handled, and she found herself staring at it as her head rose and fell
with every breath Miles took. Finally, when the silence between them began to
feel oppressive, she slid her head onto the pillow to face him.  “Are you okay?” she asked.

“I’m fine,” he
said, not meeting her eyes.

“You’re kind of
quiet.”

“Just thinking,”
he murmured.

“Good things, I
hope.”

“Only the best.”
He traced his finger down her arm. “I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you,
too.”

“Will you stay
with me all night?”

“Do you want me
to?”

“Very much.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

Though still a
little unsettled, she let him pull her close. He kissed her again, then held her
until she finally fell asleep. In the morning, when she woke, it took her a
moment to realize where she was. Miles ran his finger along her spine and she
felt her body begin to respond.

There was
something different about their lovemaking this time, something that more
closely resembled their first time together, tender and unrushed. It wasn’t
just the way he kissed and whispered to her, but rather the way he looked as he
moved above her that spoke of how serious their relationship had become.  That, and the fact that sometime while she’d
been sleeping, Miles had quietly removed the pictures and the manila file that
had cast their shadow over them the night before.

Istill don’t
understand why I haven’t had the chance to meet him yet.” Maureen and Sarah
were in the grocery store, walking the aisles and filling the cart with
everything they needed. To Sarah, it looked as if her mother planned to feed a
few dozen people for at least a week.

“You will, Mom,
in a few days. Like I said, he and Jonah will be coming by for dinner.”

“But wouldn’t
he be more comfortable if he came over before that? So we could have a chance
to get to know each other?”

“You’ll have
plenty of time to get to know him, Mom. You know how Thanksgiving is.”

“But with
everyone else around, it’s just not going to be possible to visit the way I’d
like.”

“I’m sure he’ll
understand.”

“And didn’t you
say he has to leave early?”

“He has to go to
work about four o’clock.”

“On a holiday?”

“He works
Thanksgiving Day so he can have Christmas off. He’s a sheriff, you know. It’s
not like they can let everyone take the day off.” “So who’s going to watch
Jonah?”

“I will. I’ll
probably bring him back to Miles’s house. You know Dad—he’ll be sound asleep by
six o’clock, and I’ll probably bring him home then.” “So early?”

“Don’t worry.
We’ll still be there all afternoon.”

“You’re right,”
Maureen said. “It’s just that I’m a little frazzled from all this.”

“Don’t be
worried, Mom. Nothing’s going to go wrong.”

• • •

“Will there be
other kids there?” Jonah asked.

“I don’t know,”
Miles said. “There might be.”

“Boys or girls?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well . . . how old
are they?”

Miles shook his
head. “Like I said, I don’t know. I’m not even sure there will be other kids
there, to tell you the truth. I forgot to ask.” Jonah furrowed his brow. “But
if I’m the only kid, what will I do?”

“Watch the
football game with me?”

“That’s boring.”

Miles reached for
his son, sliding him along the front seat until he was close.  “Well, we’re not going to be there all day, anyway,
since I have to work. But we do have to visit at least for a little while. I
mean, they were nice enough to invite us over, and it wouldn’t be polite to
leave right after we eat. But maybe we can go for a walk or something.”

“With Miss
Andrews?”

“If you’d like
her to come.”

“Okay.” He
paused, his head turned toward the window. They were rolling past a grove of
loblolly pines. “Dad . . . do you think we’re having turkey?” “I’m pretty sure
we are. Why?”

“Will it taste
funny? Like it did last year?”

“Are you saying
you didn’t like my cooking?”

“It tasted
funny.”

“It did not.”

“To me it did.”

“Maybe they’re
better cooks than I am.”

“I hope so.”

“Are you picking
on me?”

Jonah grinned.
“Kind of. But it did taste funny, you know.”

• • •

Miles and Jonah
pulled up in front of a two-story brick home and parked near the mailbox. The
lawn had all the markings of someone who enjoyed gardening. Pansies had been
planted along the walkway, pine straw had been spread around the bases of the
trees, and the only leaves in evidence were those that had fallen the night
before. Sarah brushed back the curtain and waved from inside the house. A
moment later, she opened the front door.

“Wow, you look
impressive,” she said.

Miles’s hand went
absently to his tie. “Thanks.”

“I was talking to
Jonah,” she said with a wink, and Jonah glanced at his father with a victorious
expression. He was wearing navy slacks and a white shirt and looked clean
enough to have come straight from church. He gave Sarah a quick hug.

From behind her
back, Sarah brought out a set of Matchbox cars, which she handed to Jonah.

“What’s this
for?” he asked.

“I just wanted
you to have something to play with while you’re here,” she said.

“Do you like
them?”

He stared at the
box. “This is great! Dad . . . look.” He held the box in the air.

“I see that. Did
you say thanks?”

“Thank you, Miss
Andrews.”

“You’re welcome.”

As soon as Miles
approached, Sarah stood again and greeted him with a kiss. “I was just kidding,
you know. You look nice, too. I’m not used to seeing you wearing a jacket and
tie in the middle of the afternoon.” She fingered his lapel slightly. “I could
get used to this.”

“Thank you,
Miss Andrews,” he said, mimicking his son. “You look pretty nice yourself.”

And she did. If
anything, the longer he knew her, the prettier she seemed to get, no matter
what she wore.

“You ready to
come inside?” she asked.

“Whenever you
are,” Miles answered.

“How about you,
Jonah?”

“Are there any
other kids here?”

“No. I’m sorry.
Just a bunch of grown-ups. But they’re really nice, and they’re looking forward
to meeting you.”

He nodded and his
eyes traveled to the box again. “Can I open this now?”

“If you’d like
to. It’s yours, so you can open it whenever you want.”

“So I can play
with them outside, too?”

“Sure,” Sarah said. “That’s why I got them—”

“But first,”
Miles added, cutting into the conversation, “you’ve got to come inside and meet
everyone. And if you do head back out to play, I don’t want you getting dirty
before dinner.”

“Okay,” Jonah
agreed instantly, and from the look on his face, it seemed he believed that
he’d stay clean. Miles, however, was under no illusions. A seven-year-old boy,
playing on the ground outside? Not a chance, but hopefully he wouldn’t get too
grubby.

“All right,
then,” Sarah said. “Let’s head on in. One word of caution, though .

. .”

“Is it about your
mother?”

Sarah smiled. “How
did you know?”

“Don’t worry. I’ll
be on my best behavior, and Jonah will, too, right?”

Jonah nodded
without looking up.

Sarah took
Miles’s hand and leaned close to his ear. “It’s not you two that I was worried
about.”

• • •

“So there you
are!” Maureen cried as she emerged from the kitchen.  Sarah nudged Miles. Following her eyes, Miles was surprised to
see that Maureen looked nothing like her daughter. Where Sarah was blond,
Maureen’s hair was graying in a way that looked as if it had been black at one
time; where Sarah was tall and thin, her mother had a more matronly appearance.
And while Sarah seemed to glide when she walked, Maureen seemed almost to
bounce as she approached them. She was wearing a white apron over her blue
dress and held her hands out as she approached, as if greeting long-lost
friends. “I’ve heard so much about you both!”

Maureen
enveloped Miles in a hug and did the same thing to Jonah, even before Sarah
made the formal introductions. “I’m so glad you could come! We’ve got a full
house, as you can see, but you two are the guests of honor.” She seemed
practically giddy.

“What’s that?”
Jonah asked.

“It means that
everyone’s been waiting for you.”

“It does?”

“Yessiree.”

“They don’t even
know me,” Jonah said innocently, as he glanced around the room, feeling the
eyes of strangers on him. Miles put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“It’s nice to meet
you, Maureen. And thanks for having us over.” “Oh, it was my pleasure.” She
giggled. “We’re just glad you could come. And I know that Sarah was glad, too.”

“Mom . . .”

“Well, you
were. No reason to deny it.” She turned her attention to Miles and Jonah,
talking and giggling for the next few minutes. When she’d finally finished, she
began to introduce them to the grandparents, as well as the rest of Sarah’s
relatives, about a dozen people in all. Miles shook hands, Jonah followed his
lead, and Sarah winced at the way Maureen kept introducing Miles.  “This is Sarah’s friend,” she’d say, but it
was her tone—a mixture of pride and motherly approval—that left no doubt as to
what she really meant. When they’d finished, Maureen seemed almost exhausted by
the performance. She turned her attention back to Miles. “Now, what can I get
you to drink?” “How about a beer?”

“One beer
coming up. And how about for you, Jonah? We’ve got root beer or Seven-Up.”

“Root beer.”

“Let me go with
you, Mom,” Sarah said, taking hold of her mother’s arm. “I think I need a
drink, too.”

On their way to
the kitchen, her mother was beaming. “Oh, Sarah . . . I’m so happy for you.”

“Thanks.”

“He seems
wonderful. Such a nice smile. He looks like someone you can trust.”

“I know.”

“And that boy of
his is darling.”

“Yes, Mother. . .
.”

• • •

“Where’s
Daddy?” Sarah asked a few minutes later. Her mother had finally calmed down
enough to turn her attention back to her dinner preparations.  “I sent him and Brian out to the grocery
store a few minutes ago,” Maureen answered. “We needed some more rolls and a
bottle of wine. I wasn’t sure we had enough.”

Sarah opened
the oven and checked the turkey; the smell wafted through the kitchen.

“So Brian’s
finally up?”

“He was tired.
He didn’t get here until after midnight. He had an exam on Wednesday afternoon,
so he couldn’t get away earlier.” At that moment, the back door opened and
Larry and Brian came in carrying a couple of bags, which they set on the
counter. Brian, looking leaner and older somehow than when he’d left last
August, saw Sarah and they hugged.  “So
how’s school going? I haven’t talked to you in what seems like forever.”

“It’s going. You
know how it is. How’s the job?”

“It’s good. I
like it.” She glanced over Brian’s shoulder. “Hi, Daddy.”

“Hey,
sweetheart,” Larry said, “it smells great in here.” As they put the groceries
away, they chatted for a few minutes until Sarah finally told them there was
someone she’d like them to meet.  “Yeah,
Mom mentioned that you were seeing someone.” Brian wiggled his eyebrows
conspiratorially. “I’m glad. Is he a good guy?”

“I think so.”

“Is it serious?”

Sarah couldn’t
help but notice that her mother stopped peeling the potatoes as she waited for
the answer.

“I don’t know
yet,” she said evasively. “Would you like to meet him?”

Brian shrugged.
“Yeah, okay.”

She reached out
and touched his arm. “Don’t worry, you’ll like him.” Brian nodded. “You coming,
Daddy?”

“In a minute.
Your mother wants me to find some of the extra serving bowls.

They’re in a box in
the pantry somewhere.”

Sarah and Brian
left the kitchen and headed to the living room, though she didn’t see Miles or
Jonah. Her grandmother said that Miles had gone outside for a minute, but when
she stepped out the front door, she still didn’t see him.  “He must be around back. . . .”

As they turned
the corner of the house, Sarah finally spotted them. Jonah had found a small
mound of dirt and was pushing the Matchbox cars along imaginary roads.

“So what’s this
guy do? Is he a teacher?”

“No, but that’s
how I met him. His son is in my class. Actually, he’s a deputy sheriff. Hey,
Miles!” she called out. “Jonah!” When they turned, Sarah nodded in her
brother’s direction. “There’s someone I’d like you to meet.” When Jonah stood
up from the dirt, Sarah saw that the knees of his pants were circled with
brown. He and Miles met them halfway.

“This is my
brother, Brian. And Brian, this is Miles and his son, Jonah.”

Miles held out
his hand. “How are you doing? Miles Ryan. Nice to meet you.”

Brian held his
hand out stiffly. “Nice to meet you, too.”

“I hear you’re in
college.”

Brian nodded.
“Yes, sir.”

Sarah laughed.
“You don’t have to be so formal. He’s only a couple of years older than I am.”
Brian smiled weakly but didn’t say anything, and Jonah looked up at him. Brian
took a small step backward, as if uncertain how to address a young child.

“Hi,” Jonah said.

“Hi,” Brian
answered.

“You’re Miss
Andrews’s brother?”

Brian nodded.

“She’s my
teacher.”

“I know. She told
me.”

“Oh . . .” Jonah
looked suddenly bored and started fiddling with the cars in his hands. For a
long moment, none of them said anything.

• • •

“I wasn’t
hiding from your family,” Miles said a few minutes later. “Jonah asked if I’d
come out here with him to see if I thought it would be okay to play here.  I said it probably was—I hope that’s okay.”

“That’s fine,”
Sarah said. “As long as he’s having fun.” Larry had come around the corner as
the four of them were talking and asked Brian if he could look in the garage
for the serving dishes he’d been unable to find. Brian wandered off in that
direction, then disappeared from view.

Larry, too, was
quiet, though in a more speculative way than Brian. He seemed to

regard Miles with
a studying eye, as if watching his expressions would reveal

more than the
words Miles was saying as they covered the basics about each

other. That
feeling quickly passed as they found common interests, like the

upcoming
football game between the Dallas Cowboys and the Miami Dolphins. Within

a few minutes, they
were talking easily. Larry finally made his way back to the house, leaving
Sarah alone with Miles and Jonah. Jonah went back to the mound of dirt.

“Your father’s
quite a character. I had the strangest feeling that when we first met, he was
trying to figure out whether we’d slept together.” Sarah laughed. “He probably
was. I am his baby girl, you know.”

“Yeah, I know.
How long’s he been married to your mom?”

“Almost
thirty-five years.”

“That’s a long
time.”