A Boy Worth Choosing (The Worthy Series Book 2) (15 page)

“Hey, I think we may have found your dress!” Shaina calls behind her as she hands two dresses that look like they could weigh a combined forty pounds to the stylist. I chance a glance back at Janine, who gives me a genuine smile as she takes a seat on the couch next to Shaina.

Kasey, a cheerful younger lady with bright blue eyes and the darkest brown hair I’ve ever seen, ushers me into the dressing room and helps me secure a bustier and slip. She steps out and brings back in a gorgeous white trumpet dress with an illusion neckline and lacey three-quarter sleeves. I step into the dress, wondering who picked this dress out because it is most definitely not something I would have picked out.  I notice how the dress practically hugs me comfortably and doesn’t itch like I expected it to. I look down and take note of the intricate details of the gorgeous lace as Kasey does up the long string of lace-covered buttons that flow down my back.

I don’t get a good look in the mirror before we step out, but I don’t miss Kasey’s quiet gasp when I step away from her and out of the dressing room. I climb onto the pedestal in front of my best girlfriends and future mother-in-law and watch each of their jaws drop in complete astonishment. Janine wipes a tear away and I twist around to see what has everyone speechless.

In the mirror is a breath-taking image of my mother. Or so I think it’s her, but really it’s me. The idea that I could look at beautiful as I remember my mother being brings a huge lump in my throat.

Kasey repositions the short train of the dress, fanning it out behind me. In that moment, I see it all come together. I see Stephen at the end of a petal covered aisle, rows of our friends and family. I see the large old oak tree in my dad’s back yard off to the side with its pretty orange leaves, and the sun setting off in the distance.

The whole image makes me weak in the knees and I find myself struggling to catch my breath.

“You…look...” Daphne starts.

“Stunning,” Shaina says.

“Exquisite,” Daphne adds.

“Just like your mother,” Janine whispers. I turn back around to find her wiping more tears away from her eyes. “Jessie, it’s… more than words. It’s perfect.”

Both Daphne and Shaina nod their agreement. Kasey disappears for a moment and comes back with a couple different veils, a jar of bobby pins and a box of Kleenexes. She hands the Kleenexes to Janine and asks Daphne to help her for a second.

My eyes explore every detail of the dress while the two girls pin my hair up in a quick chignon. By the time I’ve taken in all the pearly beading and intricate lace detail, Kasey has added a veil to my simple bun and I can’t help the tears that have pooled in my eyes.

No words are exchanged as I twist and turn to see all the different angles of the dress.

“I think I’m done shopping,” I gingerly tell Kasey, who just nods in agreement. The girls behind me exhale a breathy giggle.

“Good,” Shaina says as she winces from her seat next to Janine. “Because I think I might be in labor.”

Chapter Sixteen

~Stephen~

“She’s absolutely precious, isn’t she?” Jessie looks up at me in complete awe of the sleeping bundle of pink swaddled in her arms. “I can’t believe she’s already a month old!”

I can see the wheels turning in her head, and I know that if I want to make this girl happy, we’re only just going to make it the year I asked her for.

“She is pretty precious. Congratulations again, guys.” I turn and shake Lucas’s hand. I’ve only met the guy a handful of times, and though we have next to nothing in common, he doesn’t seem like a bad guy. And since he now thinks Caleb’s an idiot too, he gets extra points in my book.

“Hey, babe, I have to get back to the office. Please don’t forget we have to be at the church by four.” I kiss the top of Jessie’s head and wave goodbye to Shaina and Lucas, and then to Daphne as I make my way out of the studio.

***

I try to focus on the deposition documents that I’m supposed to be analyzing, but all I can focus on is the look of yearning in Jessie’s eyes as she held that baby in her arms. We’ve been together four months now, and I know for me that it isn’t long enough, but for Jessie, it’s not just about being with me. It’s about being a part of a family. About spreading all the love that incredibly large heart of hers has. Who am I to deny her that? But I just can’t get over my selfishness.

“Mr. Cahill, you asked me to remind you about your four o’clock appointment. It’s in twenty minutes. Mr. Michaelson asked if you were done with the Tanner deposition yet. Would you like me to take him the files?” Tessa doesn’t enter my office, but stays at the door, with a stack of files already piled up in her arms.

“No, thank you, Tessa. I’m not quite finished. Please tell him they will be on his desk first thing tomorrow. I won’t be back after this appointment, so have a great evening.” She nods with a smile and retreats from my door, most likely on her way to the file room. I pick up the files and make a mad dash for my car, doing my best to focus on getting to the church in time.

Premarital counseling is a requirement my dad gave us before he would agree to marry us, but he insisted that he not be the one to do the counseling. He said he didn’t want to know some of the details that our counseling would undergo, so he recommended a friend he trusts here in the city. Quite honestly, I’m kind of thankful to not be having tonight’s discussion on sex with my father and my fiancé.

Jessie’s car is already in the lot when I pull in, and after checking my watch, I find I’m already five minutes late. I pick up my pace and brace myself for the extreme uncomfortableness that today’s session will undoubtedly be. I find Jessie and Pastor Ken chatting lightly when I enter the room. At the sight of her my heart starts to patter.
I’m such a girl
.

“Stephen. Welcome,” Ken says, holding his hand out. I shake it quickly and turn toward my girl. 

“Hey, you,” she smiles up at me, kissing my cheek as I take the seat beside her.

“Sorry, I’m late. Traffic is a little crazy out there today. Shall we get started?” Jessie reaches over and grabs my hand, giving me a warm smile. Ken settles back into his seat, opening his Bible.

“Alright. So last time we talked about what roles you expect one another to play in a marriage and I think we did a good job of covering what we should be providing for one another in all aspects. However, I want to talk about the expectations of sex. As I understand, you two have not had sex yet, is that correct?”

My palms start to sweat so I pull my hand from Jessie’s grasp. She shifts in her seat too, and I’m somewhat comforted that she’s as uncomfortable as I am. But that just makes me want to escort her out of here as quickly as possible. However we need to get through this, so I stay seated.

“We have not had intercourse together yet, no,” Jessie answers.

“Oh?” Ken’s eyebrow pops up in curiosity as he reads the full meaning of her statement.

“When I was in high school,” I interject,  “I had one partner. It was only once, but the consequences turned into worst case scenario. I haven’t slept with anyone since.” Ken just stares hollowly at me, expecting me to go on, but I really don’t want to go into further detail. Jessie wrings her fingers but straightens her posture in her seat and sets her jaw, showing me that she’s just as determined to get through this session as I am, so I quickly explain the situation with Zoe to Ken. He sits quietly and watches both me and Jessie carefully while I tell him what happened.

“So when you found out about the abortion, what was your initial reaction? Were you upset, angry…relieved?” Ken asks me when I’m finished. I think for a second, trying to remember what it was like when I first found out.

“Initially I was sad, very upset. But more than anything, I felt betrayed. I wondered how someone who appeared to be so soft and sweet could do something so heartless. She chose to end a life. One that I helped to create. I mourned the loss for a long time. Still do occasionally, but not to the point that it consumes me anymore.”

“So you think you’ve dealt with all of those feelings sufficiently?” Ken asks.

“I do.”

Ken writes a couple things down on his notepad before looking back up at both of us.

“Okay, so you two are not having sex until the wedding night. Was this a mutual agreement?”

“Yes,” I say at the same time Jess says “no”. Poor Ken looks pretty confused by our inconsistencies. Ironically he told us at our first session, after some personality and compatibility quizzes, that statistically we were essentially the perfect couple. I bet he’s reconsidering our results now.

“We made a pact with each other, and God, shortly after the Zoe incident that we were both going to wait. We weren’t together at the time. But we kind of renewed our agreement, so I guess you could say it’s a mutual agreement,” Jessie explains.

“Good. And how is that going for you both?”

I can’t help the snicker that comes out. Thanks to the three person rule, Jessie and I have had little to no time alone in the last few weeks. Granted, we’ve had plenty of dates where we’ve been in quiet public settings. We have closed down our favorite coffee shop three times this month already. But I’m missing that quality time where it is just her and me watching TV in our sweats, or having a movie marathon that ends up with one or both of us falling asleep on the couch.

We did try it a couple of times with our self-appointed chaperone, but Daphne could rival a plantation foreman with her beady eyes watching our every moment and uncanny ability to measure the distance between us from across the room. Needless to say, neither one of us has suggested a night in for quite some time now.

“Well.” Jessie blushes. “We do seem to have this pretty incredible chemistry. So much so that we’ve had to enlist what we call the three person rule. My maid of honor helps mediate anytime we spend time in a less public capacity.”

“I’m not sure mediate is quite the right term for what she does though. More like…impose.” I know I sound like a spoiled brat who isn’t getting his way, but seriously Daphne has quickly landed herself on my last nerve.

“So you aren’t in favor of the intervention, then?” Ken asks me.

“I don’t mind that she’s intervening as much as
how
she’s intervening. I feel like she takes her role a little too personally. And I don’t think I’m alone in my frustration.” Jessie subtly shakes her head beside me. She hasn’t really ever come right out and admitted it, but she’s the one who has picked where we hang out lately, hence the late nights at the coffee shop.

“So how are you accommodating this frustration? Are you still getting to spend time together?”

“Yes,” Jessie responds. “We just spend our time in public and limit our good night kisses to parking lots or front doors. We may not like how she’s going about helping us, but we both know what we want.” She looks at me and I take up her hand again. “And that is to wait. So we do what we have to do to control ourselves.”

“And do you feel like this system is working out for both of you?” Ken asks, looking more toward me.

I shrug and nod before I check her face. She has seemed like she’s pretty content with how things are going so far, which makes me just as determined to restrain myself even more. But now I watch a thought run through her head that doesn’t support the confidence she wears that says she’s okay with our arrangement.

“I miss just being us.” She turns to me. “I miss just being able to hang out in our sweats, eating popcorn and watching TV. I miss being able to just sit beside you while we read. Just being in your presence, not feeling like I have to play hostess. I miss just getting to be us. You know?”

“Like when you would spend the time when you were friends before?” Ken asks.

I nod in agreement. “So how do we get back to that without losing any of the chemistry that we do have?” I don’t think I have to admit it to Ken, but I rather enjoy our chemistry.

“I would start with talking to this friend; let her know that you feel she’s being a little overprotective. If she is still too strict for your liking, maybe see if another friend you could trust would be willing to supervise. Just like with anything else you might overindulge in, it all comes with balancing your feelings and reining in the urge to jump out of control when opportunity strikes. You have,” he shuffles through his notes to find something he wrote down, “approximately twelve weeks before the wedding. I suggest you find someone who will not be uncomfortable with helping you both rediscover those platonic aspects of your relationship you both seem to be missing. Otherwise, you may struggle with finding that balance after the wedding, causing one or both of you to become sexually frustrated.”   

After all the waiting we’re doing, Lord forbid either of us become frustrated.

Ken takes a moment to make a couple of notes before checking his watch.

“Well that’s about all the time we have for today. I’d like you two to try to get some of this casual time this week. As I understand, you two spend quality time at your parents’ homes. You might even try to get some of this time there.” He smiles kindly as he stands and shakes each of our hands before sending us off.

I can see Jess’s excitement growing as we make our way out to the parking lot. I get an idea, and judging by the look in her eye, I think she just might go for it.

“So…” I pull her in by the waist. The wind picks up and the scent of her shampoo momentarily distracts me.

“So?” she asks eagerly. I smile, dumbfounded, as I try to remember what it was I was going to ask her. 

“There’s a game on tonight and Grady is supposed to come keep me company. Maybe… you would like to join us?”

It takes a moment for her to understand the extent of what I’m suggesting as she steps back from me. When she realizes that I just might have created an opportunity to give us this much needed down time, she starts bouncing with delight.

“Yay!!” She jumps up and hugs my neck tight. A chuckle escapes my chest and I’m once again completely captivated by this woman and the scent of her shampoo. “What time does the game start?”

“Seven.”

The smile on her face grows exponentially as I watch her mentally clear her schedule of whatever adorably cute thing she was going to do at home tonight.

“I might be able to make it.” She winks and struts off to her car.

“So that’s a yes, then?” Okay, so maybe I’m just as excited as she is about this idea.

She turns around and blows me a kiss as she climbs into her car and drives away.

***

I open the door, totally amused to see my bride-to-be standing outside with a six pack in one hand and her messenger bag in the other.

“Mind if I join you? I come bearing gifts,” she says, holding up the six pack.

I would have let her in if she had brought bran muffins and soy milk; the beer just proves how much she really loves me.

“Don’t mind if you do.” I step aside to let her in, kissing her forehead as she steps through the door.

“Hey, Grady,” she calls in response to his whooping from my couch.

“Jessie.” He eyeballs me suspiciously. “We weren’t expecting you. Is everything okay?”

“No, the Royals are down by two already. Did the game just start?” She pulls out a bottle and uncaps it, handing it to Grady and then doing the same thing to a second one, offering it to me. She doesn’t take one for herself since she hates beer. Just further proving my point about her loving me.

“Yeah…we are…it did…” Grady narrows his eyes at me. As Jessie leaves the room to put the rest of the bottles in the fridge he leans in and whispers, “What is she doing here? Are you in trouble? What did you do? Did you let the love fern die?”

I nearly spray my drink in his face. “What in the world is a love fern? No. I told her she’s welcome to come over to watch the game with us.”

It’s his turn to hold his beer in. “What do you mean you told her she’s welcome to watch the game with us? Does she even like baseball??”

“Not really,” Jess answers for me. “But I will sit quietly, beside my man, maybe hold his hand or curl up next to him, read, and occasionally comment on a play or two, maybe even cheer if the game gets really good. But mostly I’m going to sit with him for a bit. Because I need some down time with my fiancé. Got a problem with that?”