Read A Bride Worth Billions Online
Authors: Tiffany Morgan
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“Reverse Culture Shock: Ways on How To Deal and Overcome with Culture Shock”
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This book contains proven steps and strategies on how to overcome reverse culture shock.
It discusses the stages of culture shocks and the experiences associated with it. The book provides recommendations on how to deal with reverse culture shock, strengthen existing and old relationships, and appreciate again your home country.
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Table of Contents
1 - What Is Reverse Culture Shock?
2 - Experiences of Reverse Culture Shock
3 - Re-adjusting to Your Home Country
4 - Appreciating Your Home Country
You may have left home for a foreign land to study, work or do some service, only to return home and find it different from what you expected it to be. This is called reverse culture shock. It is experienced when you are returning to a place that you expect to be home but is actually no longer. It is more difficult to handle than the culture shock you feel when you go to another place, because it is unexpected and unanticipated.
Reverse culture shock involves the process of re-entry, which has two elements:
1) an idealized view of home; and 2) the expectation of total familiarity.
More often, you expect to pick up where you left off. This becomes a problem when reality doesn’t match these expectations. Your home may be different from what you imagined and things may have changed. Your home may feel foreign as you discover that your friends and family have their own lives and changes have happened since you left.
You also realize that your friends and family seems to lack interest in your stories of your experiences abroad. This, and the contrast between your expectations and reality may result in feelings of alienation, frustration and mutual misunderstandings. Just like culture shock, the difficulty of readjusting will be different for each individual. But generally, the more integrated you have become as a citizen of your host country, the more difficult it is to readjust during re-entry.
Reverse Culture Shock Stages
Reverse culture shock is typically described in four stages:
Stage 1: Disengagement
This stage starts before you leave the country where you studied or worked. You begin thinking about returning home and making your preparations. It also dawns on you that it’s time to say good-bye to your friends in your host country, which you have also considered your home. The farewell parties and packing deepen your feelings of sadness and frustration. You are reluctant to leave your friends and already miss them. Or, you get so busy in your last few days that you don’t have time to ponder on your emotions and experiences.
Stage 2: Initial Euphoria
Stage 2 usually starts just before departure. You anticipate returning home and are excited and euphoric about it. It’s very similar to the feelings of excitement and fascination you had when you first came to your host country. You are very happy to see your family and friends again and they are happy to see you too. How long this stage lasts varies. But often it ends when you realize that most of your family and friends are not as interested in your experiences abroad as you expected. They will respectfully listen to your stories for a time but soon will move on to the next topic of the conversation.
Stage 3: Irritability and hostility
Because of the mismatch between reality and your expectations, you may have feelings of anger, frustration, disorientation, alienation, loneliness and helplessness without understanding why. You become irritated and critical of others and your home culture. You may also feel depressed and long to go back abroad. You feel less independent as you were in the foreign land where you stayed.
Stage 4: Readjustment and Adaptation
Then you move on to Stage 4, which is a gradual readjustment to life at home. You will find things appearing to be normal again. You will fall back into some old routines, though things are not exactly the same as when you left. You will see things differently now as you may have changed and developed new habits, attitudes and beliefs. Your personal and professional goals may also be different. The important thing to remember is that you need to incorporate the positive aspects of your experience abroad with those of your home country.
People experience various forms of reverse culture shock. The following are some situations and thoughts you may have upon returning to your home country.
Reverse homesickness
You miss your friends abroad and the times you spent together. You long for the comfort and the familiarity of your surroundings overseas. You miss your daily routine. You even want to speak the language that you have learned. In other words, you experience reverse homesickness, the same feeling you had when you first arrived in your host country.
Everyone wants to see you
Of course, it’s expected that everyone wants to see you since you’ve been gone for some time. However, when they do, they ask about what you’re going to do next. And you’re not quite prepared for it. You’re still adjusting to a different time zone and haven’t the time to plan for the future. And there are so many invitations to birthday parties, christenings, weddings and get-togethers. You feel overwhelmed and stretched in all directions.
You are now different
You may feel alienated because you think everything around you has changed or that they haven’t even changed slightly. But it’s not entirely about that. It’s just that you have changed dramatically. Your experiences and exposure to another culture has changed you, but people expect you to be same.
People want you to be the same person you once were. This leaves you confused and pressured because you can’t be the same person. You feel that others do not accept the new you. You hide from them and spend time in private so you can be the real you, the you that you like to be now.
No one seems interested
When you start to talk about your experiences abroad, you see the glazed look on other people’s faces that you just later learn to shut up and do your best to go along in their conversations. You feel hurt. You think they are not interested in your life and who you are now and that you come off as boastful. But in truth, you are not bragging. You just want to share how your life was when you were away. They are part of your past. What you are now is connected to your memories, beliefs and thoughts on your experiences abroad. This makes your feel more frustrated about being home and out of place in the company of others.
You don’t like some things about your culture
You have some criticisms with the way things are in your home country. And you can’t help but feel you’re betraying your nation every time you have a negative thought about it. This is because, in your travels, you have been exposed to other ways of doing things and you liked them better. And you try to explain this to your friends but you see their eyes shout “traitor!”.
Nothing seems new
You might get the idea that there is nothing new in your home country that you can explore. And you miss travelling to new and exciting places. In truth, there is a lot of newness in your home country or even just your home town. You just have to open your eyes and search for it.
There is nothing to do
Compared to the busy life you led abroad, you suddenly find yourself with a lot of time in your hands. You don’t know what to do. You feel bored and miss the buzz of exploring new places, discovering cultures, and meeting different kinds of people. If you’ve been in a large city abroad with so many things going on, you may be frustrated by the laid-back lifestyle of your home town.
Relationships have changed
It’s not only you that is different now; your friends have changed too. Some have their own families, while others have switched careers. You may discover that your interests have changed and you have different ideas on how to spend your time together. Your preferences in food and activities are no longer the same. You may also discover that you have drifted apart and are not as close as you used to be.
People see “wrong” changes in you
Because you are now different, some people may be critical of the changes in you. They may see these changes as “wrong”, when actually they are just different. Some of them may think that you have become sophisticated or a snob, even when you are just being yourself. Or they may find the way you dress as ridiculous as you have incorporated the fashion style of your host country. They may even think you talk funny as you find yourself inadvertently using expressions you learned abroad.
Tongue-Tied
You may have been abroad for a long time and have learned to speak fluently in the language of your host country. Upon your return, you may encounter difficulties in translating your thoughts in the language of your home country. It’s not that you have forgotten your language, it’s simply because you have rarely spoken it for a significant period of time. You have learned to think in a foreign language and it takes some time to clearly express yourself again in your native tongue. Also, some of the words in your foreign language may not have direct translations in your local language. So you may find yourself tongue-tied or limited to non-verbal communication. However, this should not worry you. It just takes time to get readjusted and with several conversations and reading, your normal speech will come back.
Change in diet
You may have developed a taste for specific flavors and spices. You may have grown accustomed to the dishes of your host country that you no longer enjoy your food at home. You would find it challenging to feed yourself in a way that made you feel good or satisfied. Your family and friends may bring you to a restaurant that serves food from your host country, and you find out that it’s not exactly the same.