Authors: Kitty Neale
At last with an animal grunt, Tommy was spent and moved from her body. ‘I know that wasn’t good for you,’ he said softly, ‘but I expected that. It’ll get better, I promise.’
‘How do you know?’ Amy asked.
‘I … well, it’s something I’ve heard talked about,’ he said.
Amy tried to fight them, but tears of relief filled her eyes. Tommy hadn’t realised that it wasn’t her first time, but along with that came shame and guilt. She had betrayed him, but then found herself gathered into his arms.
‘Don’t cry, Amy. I love you and I’m sorry I hurt you, but it’ll be all right next time.’
Amy doubted it ever would, but after a while Tommy began to slowly explore her body and she found herself responding. He was right, it was better, and Amy found she was able to give herself willingly, welcoming Tommy as their bodies merged as one.
When it was over Amy snuggled into Tommy’s arms, feeling truly his wife now. She loved him so much, and knew that all she could do now to assuage her guilt was to make sure that she was a perfect wife.
As she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep, Amy’s last thought was that so much had happened in such a short time since their marriage, but now, at last, the future looked brighter.
‘Come on, Peter, get a move on or you’ll be late for school,’ Mabel said.
‘I’ve got a belly ache.’
‘Don’t try that one again. It won’t wash this time,’ Mabel said, trying to sound stern.
‘I wanna stay here with you,’ Peter said, large brown eyes wide with appeal as he looked up at her.
‘I’m sorry, love, but you’ve got to go. Anyway, it won’t be for long. At the end of this week school breaks up for the summer holidays.’
‘Uncle Jack wouldn’t make me go.’
‘Oh yes he would,’ Mabel said.
‘Will he take me to the park again when he comes home from work?’
‘I expect so, but only if he knows you’ve been to school.’
Peter quickly shovelled the rest of his breakfast into his mouth and then said, ‘All right, I’m ready.’
Mabel smiled. Peter was seven years old and had been with them since mid-June, almost a month now, and though it had been a shock when they’d first seen him, he’d already wormed his way into their affections. She’d been warned that his placement would only be temporary and had tried not to get too fond of him, but he was such an adorable little lad that it was impossible. Once outside she took his hand and they set off on the short walk to the infant school. When they arrived she hugged Peter and said softly, ‘Now be a good boy and I’ll see you later.’
‘Bye, Auntie Mabel,’ he said, returning her hug and clinging on until she urged him into his classroom.
She then returned home, and knowing that Phyllis had a week off work, she knocked on her door. ‘Any chance of
a cuppa?’
‘Yes, come on in,’ Phyllis invited. ‘How’s Peter?’
‘He didn’t want to go to school again, and though he’s denied it, I think he’s being bullied. I’m going to have a word with his teacher when I pick him up.’
‘I hope he isn’t, but kids can be cruel and Peter’s a bit different,’ Phyllis said, before going through to the kitchen to make a pot of tea.
Peter was different all right, Mabel thought, obviously the result of a mixed-race relationship, with his tight, curly hair and coffee-coloured skin. She knew it made him vulnerable, had seen the looks adults gave him, let alone children, but that only made her more protective of him.
Peter was her first foster child, and already he’d changed her life, along with her once narrow-minded prejudice. He was just a little boy who hadn’t chosen the colour of his skin, and one who had already melted Mabel’s heart.
Amy stood sideways, pushed her baggy blouse close to her body as she looked in the mirror and knew she couldn’t hide it for much longer. She was three months pregnant, but as the marriage hadn’t been consummated until four weeks after they married, she could only admit to two. If
she told Tommy the truth – that she was carrying his
brother’s baby, it would destroy him; their marriage too. That only left one choice, to pretend that the baby was Tommy’s, and though Amy had agonised over this decision for so long, she still wasn’t sure she could live with the deceit.
She’d been sick again that morning and felt drained as she went downstairs to the kitchen, just as her mother walked in through the back door. ‘Hello, love. I see you’ve got your boiler on so can I shove a few towels in with yours?’
‘Yes, of course you can,’ Amy said.
‘I don’t know why it’s always wash day on Mondays, but it’s been the same for as long as I can remember. Mabel called in so I got a bit behind. It’s amazing how much she’s changed. She’s like a different woman now, softer, kinder and she’s become a proper mother hen.’
Amy felt her stomach lurch and swallowed bile, but her mother must have noticed and asked, ‘Are you all right, Amy? You look a bit pale.’
‘I’ve been sick again this morning, but I’m all right now,’ she said and seeing her mother’s eyes widen Amy wished she could bite back the words.
‘Sick in the mornings! That could mean you’re pregnant. Oh, Amy, are you having a baby?’
She nodded and then found herself wrapped in her mother’s arms. ‘This is wonderful. Wait till I tell your dad.’
‘Mum, don’t do that. I haven’t told Tommy yet.’
‘Why ever not?’
‘I wanted to be sure.’
‘How many monthlies have you missed?’
‘Err … two,’ Amy stammered.
‘Well I think that makes it certain,’ she said then running her hands over Amy’s tummy. ‘I can feel a bump already. I’m going to be a grandmother!’ she cried, almost dancing with joy.
Amy sat down, fighting to hide her feelings. She wished she could share her mother’s happiness, but all she felt was despair.
Tommy was a happy man as he sat back in his office chair. Not only had Jeremy worked closely with Len to secure a new contract while he’d been away, there was now another one in the pipeline. Business was booming and he said, ‘Well, Jeremy, you’ve certainly proved yourself. The solicitor has just rung me to say the papers have been drawn up and all we need to do is to sign them, giving you your thirty-three per cent share in the company.’
‘Thanks, Tom. It means a lot to me, and now we’ll be a proper family business.’
Tommy grinned. Amy hadn’t said anything yet, but he’d seen the signs. ‘Don’t mention this to Mum yet because it isn’t official, but I think there’s going to be another addition.’
‘You’re giving
Mum
some shares too?’
‘No, that’s not what I’m talking about. Amy hasn’t told me yet, but I think she’s pregnant.’
Jeremy looked stunned and asked, ‘Are you sure?’
‘Well, not really, but she’s got a little bulge in her tummy.’
Jeremy lowered his eyes, quiet for a moment, but then said, ‘Well, in that case, congratulations.’
‘Let’s not jump the gun, and as I asked, keep it quiet until I know for sure.’
‘All right,’ Jeremy agreed, but then said, ‘Well, I’d better get back on the road.’
‘Is the car running all right?’
‘It’s fine.’
‘Mine’s all right too,’ Tommy said. ‘I think we made a good choice in buying Austins.’
‘When are we going to the solicitors?’
‘I’m a bit snowed under today, so how about tomorrow morning?’
‘Righto,’ Jeremy said. ‘I’m off then and I’ll see you later.’
‘Yes, see you,’ Tommy said. He wondered when Amy was going to tell him that he was going to be a dad, but with a pile of paperwork on his desk to get through, he had to concentrate on the task.
Jeremy’s grip on the steering wheel was tight. He didn’t know much about women having babies, but if Amy already had a bulge in her tummy it could mean that the kid was his. Of course Amy would never admit to it, but he’d know for sure if the baby was born a month early.
If it was his, Jeremy knew there was only so much he could stand. Tom already had Amy, and the thought of him taking over his kid too made his teeth grind in anger. Without thought he drove to Lark Rise and uncaring if anyone saw him or not, he thumped on Amy’s door.
When it was opened, he pushed his way inside, grinding out, ‘It’s mine, isn’t it? The baby’s mine.’
‘I … I don’t know what you’re talking about.’
‘Don’t give me that. Tom told me that you’re pregnant.’
‘Tommy told you?’ Amy said, paling.
‘Yes, that’s right, so don’t try to deny it.’
‘I’m not, but the baby isn’t yours.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Yes, I’m sure,’ she said firmly.
Jeremy wanted to reach out – to drag Amy into his arms – to feel her body next to his again. God, he wanted her! She must have seen something in his eyes and began to back away.
‘No! Don’t come near me!’
Jeremy saw her fear and came to his senses He didn’t want Amy to be frightened of him. He wanted her to love him, but she only wanted one man, and that was his brother. ‘It’s all right. I’m going,’ he said and quickly left, unaware that a curtain was twitching on the opposite side of the road.
Edna scowled as she watched the car driving off. There were only a few people who had cars on Lark Rise, but now the Frosts had two. Some people seemed to have all the luck. Amy had married a bloke with a good few bob, but at least it hadn’t turned her into a stuck-up cow like Celia Frost.
Of course Tommy wasn’t a patch on his brother when it came to looks, and Edna wondered why Jeremy had been to see Amy. It had only been a short visit, but she had seen the expression on his face when he left. The man actually looked to be in anguish, and it was odd.
There was no point in asking Mabel if she knew what was going on. Mabel had changed, becoming all high and mighty, with no interest in sharing a bit of tittle-tattle now. There was more activity over the road, with Phyllis leaving her house in a hurry to go into Amy’s. Edna wished she could be a fly on the wall to hear the conversation between mother and daughter.
‘Amy, I thought I heard you shouting and I just saw Jeremy driving off.’
Amy was still trembling, but gripped her hands together as she thought quickly. ‘You must have been hearing things. Jeremy just called in to pick up some papers that Tommy forgot to take to work this morning.’
‘Oh, right, but you look a bit pale.’
‘I’ve been throwing up again,’ Amy said.
‘You poor thing. I had morning sickness with you, but it eases off when you get past three months.’
‘That’s something to look forward to,’ Amy said, trying to sound calm.
‘Yes, but then later you get heartburn,’ Phyllis said, grin
ning.
‘Thanks,
Mum
, you really know how to cheer me up,’ Amy said, forcing a smile.
‘It’s worth it though and there’s nothing like that moment when you first hold your baby in your arms. Anyway, as long as you’re all right, I’ll get on with giving my place a turnout.’
‘You’re supposed to be having a week’s holiday.’
‘I know, Rose insisted, but it’s daft if you ask me. I can’t sit around all day doing nothing. It would drive me up the wall, but I tell you what, we could go out tomorrow to look at prams and things.’
‘Yes, let’s do that,’ Amy said, trying to sound enthusiastic and relieved when her mother left. She then flopped onto a chair and buried her face in her hands. It had already started, the lies, the deceit; but had she managed to convince Jeremy that the baby wasn’t his?
On a cold Monday morning in December, a fire blazing in her grate, Mabel stared at the woman in horror. ‘But you can’t take Peter away from us now. He’s so excited about Christmas and … and he helped me to decorate the tree. I … I’ve got all his Christmas presents too.’
‘Mrs Povis, it won’t be immediate, but I did warn you that the placing would be temporary.’
‘I know you did, but as he came to us when his mother died, I didn’t think he had anyone else.’
‘We’ve managed to trace Peter’s father and he’s applied for custody.’
‘But he’s never said anything about his dad. He’s only ever talked about his mum.’
‘Peter hasn’t seen him since he was two years old.’
‘That means it’ll be like handing the poor kid over to a stranger.’
‘That’s one of the things I’ve come to discuss. We feel that it would make the transition easier for Peter if his father comes here just to visit him at first, perhaps on a regular basis for a few weeks. It will give Peter a chance to get to know him before he goes permanently into his custody.’
‘I’m not sure about that. You’re asking me to let a strange man who I know nothing about into my house.’
‘He won’t be alone. Myself, or one of my colleagues will be with him.’
Mabel’s head sank down. She knew on applying to become a foster parent that this would happen, but this was her first time and it was heart-wrenching. With no other choice, Mabel knew she would have to let Peter go, and knowing he’d be upset too, she had to somehow make it easier for him. ‘All right then, his dad can come here,’ she agreed.
With a smile of approval the woman said, ‘I’ll make the arrangements and be in touch.’
As the social worker left, Mabel felt some consolation in knowing that Peter would still be with them for Christmas, yet tears flooded her eyes at the thought of losing him soon afterwards. Alone now, she let them flow.
Amy and Carol were sitting in a café on the King’s Road. Carol always had Mondays off and they often met up for a chat.
‘What are you doing for Christmas?’ Amy asked.
‘We’ll just be staying at home, but my boyfriend will be joining us.’
Amy smiled, glad that Carol had met someone and said, ‘It sounds like things are getting serious with Eddy.’
‘It’s early days yet, but yes, I think they are. Eddy passed muster with the boys and my mum likes him too.’
‘How’s your mum these days?’ Amy asked.
‘She’s as happy as a lark. She works in Sloane Square now, in Peter Jones, the department store.’
‘What about your gran? Is she spending Christmas with you?’