A Catered Birthday Party (18 page)

Otherwise they wouldn’t be hanging around. Cats were opportunistic in that way. No food and they found somewhere else to go. He remembered when his grandma had started feeding the barn cats. In the end, much to his dad’s disgust, they’d had twenty of them lounging about. It’s a waste of food, he remembered his dad saying. Gram hadn’t cared. But at least they hadn’t had any mice, Sean thought. Not too many birds either, come to think of it. Then his mind turned to the problem of removing himself from the Mini Cooper. In situations like these, planning was key.

He’d just managed to extract himself after a five-minute struggle that Samantha had the good grace to look away from when Ramona Birdwell came barreling around the corner. She was wearing a black wool watch cap, a bright yellow parka, matching snow pants, Gortex boots, and thick brown leather work gloves. Sean couldn’t help thinking that she reminded him of a walking fireplug.

“Who are you and what do you want?” she barked as she drew closer to where Sean and Samantha were standing.

Sean introduced himself and Samantha.

Ramona gestured toward Sean with her chin. “So are you related to the Simmons sisters, the ones who catered Annabel’s party?” Ramona asked.

“I’m their father,” Sean explained.

The expression on Ramona’s face made it plain that this did not improve his standing in her eyes. “That turned into quite a fiasco, didn’t it?” she said. Her tone exhibited a certain amount of smug satisfaction that Sean found particularly distasteful. It was almost as if she was glad that the whole affair had turned out the way it did, that she thought Annabel had it coming.

“Well, under the circumstances,” Sean replied, “I don’t see how it could have been anything else
but
a fiasco.”

Ramona snorted. “I told Annabel the whole idea was ridiculous. Trudy is a dog, not some fancied-up child. But Annabel wouldn’t listen. Never would. Had to have the party even though I was trying to get Trudy’s weight down by half a pound. She always had to have things her way. Money just makes some people stupid.”

“And others envious,” Sean observed.

“Not me, if that’s what you’re implying,” Ramona answered as she pointed to Samantha. “And you,” Ramona snapped. “What’s your excuse for being here?”

Samantha looked around nervously.

“She’s the one who found Trudy,” Sean said before Samantha could answer.

A furrow appeared just above the bridge of Ramona’s nose. “What do you mean, found Trudy?”

“Near your place. She found Trudy near your place. So we came to see if you were missing a dog.”

“My place?” Ramona repeated.

“Yes. She was outside by the road,” Sean lied.

“The road?” Ramona’s voice quivered with outrage. “That’s absurd. You’re making it up.”

“At least we think it’s Trudy,” Sean continued. “Maybe it’s not. I have to confess that to me one pug looks just like another.”

“Not to me,” Ramona snapped.

“Obviously,” Sean observed.

“Was she hurt?” Ramona asked.

“Not at all,” Sean replied.

“I’d like to see her,” Ramona said.

“The pug?”

“Who else would I be talking about?” Ramona growled.

Sean shrugged. “Sorry. The pug’s fine. She got into some stuff, so one of my daughters took her to get cleaned up. Of course, we’ll need proper documentation before returning her to Richard. She could be someone else’s dog.” Then before Ramona could say anything else, Sean gestured toward the cats. “Are these all yours?”

Ramona’s voice softened. Her body relaxed. “Those are my outdoor kitties. I have more inside.”

Sean rubbed his hands together. “Speaking of inside, do you think I can make use of the facilities?”

Sean could tell from the frown on Ramona’s face that she was anxious to let him in her house. “Please,” he said. “Just for a moment.”

“Do you like cats?” Ramona asked.

“As well as the next man. Why?”

“You’ll see,” Ramona said. And then she added, “But I want you to just do your business and go. I don’t want you poking around in there.”

Sean drew himself up. “I hadn’t intended to.”

“Good,” Ramona replied. “Because my babies aren’t used to people and I don’t want them to get spooked.”

“Neither do I,” Sean said.

And he meant it. One or two cats were fine. But he suspected he’d find multiple cats in Ramona’s house, and that was a different story. So, it was with some trepidation that Sean followed Ramona inside. The first thing Sean and Samantha noticed when they stepped inside was the cats. They were everywhere. Lounging on the window seat, sitting on chairs, draped over the back of the sofa, lying on the rugs. Sean lost count after fifteen. And he was willing to bet there were more in the other rooms of the house. Many more. The second thing Samantha and Sean noticed was the lack of smell. He realized he’d been unconsciously girding himself for the reek of kitty litter, but it wasn’t there.

“Training dogs is my business, but cats are my weakness,” Ramona said.

“I can see that,” Sean said as he carefully picked his way to the bathroom.

When he came back, despite what Ramona had just said to him about doing what he had to do and leaving, she and Samantha had seated themselves on the sofa in the living room. Samantha was stroking a three-legged ginger-colored tabby who was sprawled across her lap, while Ramona was brushing the back of a large black and white tomcat. Two gray cats and a tortoise shell looked on.

“I told Richard not to do that,” Sean heard Ramona saying to Samantha. “But he didn’t listen. He never does.”

“You must be relieved to be reinstated,” Sean said, interrupting the two women’s conversation. He was standing against the wall because all the other possible seats were being taken up by felines. And anyway, if he sat down he’d just have to get up again, and transitions like that were hard for him.

Ramona shot him a sharp look. “What do you mean, reinstated?”

“Well, I’d heard that Annabel was hiring someone else to mount Trudy’s campaign for Westminster,” Sean said, repeating what Clyde had told him earlier that afternoon.

“That’s ridiculous,” Ramona spluttered. “She would never think of doing such a thing. I’ve been with Trudy since the beginning.”

“I’m glad to hear that. You know what gossip is like in a small town like Longely.”

“Yes, I do,” Ramona said. “People here are like a bunch of piranhas. They have way too much time on their hands if you ask me.”

Sean was just about to say that piranhas had fins, not hands, but he managed to restrain his inner Bernie. Instead he said, “I also heard that you were going to have to move out of here because the house comes with your job.”

Ramona’s eyes narrowed. “What a lot of drivel. Where did you hear that from?”

Sean shrugged. “You know how people talk.”

“I bet it was Joyce or Melissa, wasn’t it? They would say something like that. They’ve always hated me. Especially Joyce. She couldn’t bear to think that I was important to Annabel. She has a nasty mean streak in her. My cats can’t stand her. Or Melissa, for that matter. And they are very good judges of character.”

“No. It wasn’t them,” Sean assured her.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

“Then it was Joanna.”

“It wasn’t her either. Really,” Sean said. He could tell Ramona didn’t believe him. “But I’m glad to hear that’s not the case. It certainly would be hard to find a place given the cats. They must cost a lot of money to take care of,” he observed.

Ramona didn’t say anything, but Sean could see from the way she’d stiffened up that he’d hit a home run with his comments. Score one for Clyde.

The question, though, was: Was that enough of a motivation for murder?

If Ramona was about to lose everything—her job, a place to live, her beloved animals—then Sean thought the answer to that question could be yes.

As he and Samantha left the house, Sean was glad he’d come out here. He’d learned a lot. It had definitely been worth the ride, and given the circumstance that was saying quite a lot. On the way back to the car, he walked over to the garage, scattering cats as he went, and peered in the window.

Through the dirt and the cobwebs, Sean saw bags and bags of cat litter, cat food, flea spray, as well as three brown quart bottles that he was positive were going to turn out to be Malathion. He was about to try the garage door when Ramona came out and started screaming at them. At that point, he figured it was time to go. He and Samantha beat a hasty retreat, or as hasty as he could manage, got into the Mini Cooper, and zoomed off to pick up Trudy.

S
amantha looked at Ines. Ines looked at Sean. Sean looked at Trudy. Trudy didn’t look at anyone. She was happily exploring the carpeting in the back room of the Longley Historical Society.

“You want me to do what?” Ines asked Sean.

Sean explained again. “It’ll just be for a few days,” he assured her. “Till we get everything straightened out.”

Ines put her hands on her hips. Sean thought she looked particularly good in the black turtleneck sweater and suede straight skirt she was wearing,

“What is ‘everything’ exactly?” she demanded.

“Really, you’d be better off not knowing,” Sean told her. Which was true.

“Because it’s illegal?” Ines asked.

Sean waved his hands in the air. “No. No. It’s nothing like that,” he lied. “Absolutely not.”

Of course the sheriff might not see it that way. Scratch that. Considering the sheriff was Lucy, there was no “might” about it. He’d arrest Sean without a second’s pause. What was Trudy worth? Fifty thousand dollars? Twenty? Ten? He really had no idea. But even if it was two thousand, it was still felony land. And Lucy would be happy to put him there. Sean couldn’t believe he was doing this. It went against everything he’d been trained to do. He should take the dog back to Richard. It was a dog, for heaven’s sake. Just a dog. All this trouble over an animal. He had to be nuts. And yet…and yet something in his gut wouldn’t let him.

“Why don’t I believe you?” Ines said.

“It’s just an awkward situation.”

“How awkward?”

“Awkward enough.”

“I’d like to be the judge of that.”

“I’ll tell you the whole story later. I swear.”

“Is that a fact?”

“Really. Boy Scout’s word of honor. And I have to say you’re looking very nice today. Did you just get your hair done?”

Ines laughed. “Nice try.”

“It’s true,” Sean protested. “You’re looking particularly lovely today.”

“Absolutely,” Samantha put in. “Love your cardigan. Is it vintage?”

“Yes, it is. Just like me,” Ines answered. Biting her lip, she looked down at Trudy, who was snuffling around one of the legs of the oak table in the center of the room.

“Come on,” Sean wheedled. “Look at her. She’s adorable.”

“I admit she’s cute in a spectacularly ugly kind of way,” Ines conceded.

“Exactly,” Sean said. “She needs some love. And a nice home for a little while.”

“Lots of love,” Samantha put in.

Ines looked at her. “Why can’t you take the dog?” she asked Samantha.

“Because…because,” Samantha stuttered.

“Because her father’s violently allergic to animals,” Sean said.

“Exactly,” Samantha reprised.

Ines looked skeptical. “And she can’t answer for herself?” she asked Sean.

“Sometimes I forget things,” Samantha explained. “It’s the hair dye.”

“Really,” Ines said. The corners of her mouth twitched as she tried not to laugh. “How curious. I’ve always heard that pink was toxic to brain cells. I just never knew it was true.”

“Personally, I think it’s the purple,” Samantha said.

Ines couldn’t contain herself any longer. She burst out laughing.

Sean hastily changed the subject, as Ines wiped the tears from her eyes. “You don’t have any pets right now,” he pointed out.

“There’s a reason for that,” Ines told him. “I like being able to come and go when I want.”

Sean put on his most engaging smile. “Please. This is just for a couple of days. Maybe a week at the most.”

“Okay,” Ines said. “I heard why Samantha couldn’t do this. Now, why can’t you? Are your daughters allergic too?”

“Yes, they are,” Sean replied. “Fine,” he said under Ines’s unfaltering gaze. “The truth…”

“For a change…”

“The truth is that the dog just can’t be at my place,” Sean told Ines. “You have to trust me on this. It’s complicated.”

“Everything with you is complicated,” Ines said dryly.

Sean drew himself up. “I wouldn’t go that far.”

“I would.”

“She needs a good home,” Sean said, getting back to the matter at hand. This wasn’t the time to discuss his personal stuff. No time was, but that was a different matter. “And it’s only for a couple of days.”

“You said it could be for a week.”

“At the outside.”

“I’d have to go out and get dog food and treats….”

“Oh, we have them in the car,” Samantha said. “I’ll go get them.” They’d stopped at Pets Are Us on the way and Samantha had run in.

“You swear it’s for a week at the most?” Ines asked.

“Oh, absolutely,” Sean said. “And remember, if anyone asks about the dog tell them you got Mathilda…”

“Mathilda?” Ines’s eyebrows went up. “What kind of name is that for a dog?”

“I think it’s a nice one,” Sean said. What was wrong with Mathilda? Mathilda was a perfectly reasonable name as far as he could see. It certainly wasn’t any worse than Trudy. In fact, he figured it was a whole lot better.

“All I can think of is that calypso song ‘Matilda.’” And Ines started humming it under her breath.

Now it was Sean’s turn to smile.

“What’s calypso?” Samantha asked.

“Something that happened before your time,” Sean and Ines said in unison.

Sean continued. “Be that as it may, the important thing to remember is that you got her from your cousin in Scranton….”

“I don’t have a cousin in Scranton,” Ines informed Sean.

“Well, you do now,” Sean told her. “A distant cousin. One you just reconnected with by the name of Elsiver Crandall.”

Ines’s eyebrows went even higher this time. “Elsiver Crandall? You’ve got to be kidding me. Where do you get your names from?” she asked in wonderment.

Sean pointed to his head. “They’re just there,” he said. “Pretty terrific, huh?”

Ines groaned.

“Or,” Sean said to Ines, “you can say you found the dog wandering around outside and took her in until you could find the owner.”

“I like that better,” Ines said. She looked down at the little pug, who was now sitting on her feet. “I think I’m going to call you Edna,” she said.

Sean blinked. “How is Edna better than Mathilda?” he asked.

“It just is.” And Ines bent over and scooped the little dog up in her arms.

As Sean watched Ines and Trudy interact, the churning in his stomach quieted down. For the first time since Samantha had invaded his home, he felt certain he’d done the right thing.

By the time Sean left fifteen minutes later, Ines had replaced Trudy’s collar with the one Samantha had bought at the pet store and was busy feeding her a piece of leftover Swiss cheese from her lunch. She didn’t even look up when Samantha and Sean said good-bye, just gave them an absentminded wave.

Which was a good thing, Sean thought as he reinserted himself in the Mini Cooper. He was incredibly grateful that Ines was distracted by the dog. Otherwise, she would have insisted on walking him out and he didn’t know what he would have done. He’d be beyond mortified if she saw him getting into this dratted green tin can. She’d want to help and that was simply not happening. In fact, as far as he was concerned, after today he’d never set foot in this vehicle again.

“Can I ask you why you said what you did in there?” Samantha asked after Sean managed to fit himself back in the Mini Cooper.

“Certainly you can ask,” Sean told her as he reached over and fastened his seat belt.

“Seriously.”

“I am serious.”

“So, you’re not going to tell me,” Samantha said.

“I am,” Sean said as he struggled to get his legs into some sort of reasonable position. “It’s called the doctrine of plausible deniability.”

Samantha just looked at him.

“Okay,” Sean said. “Now, if we leave Trudy in my house and the police come looking for her, I can say I found her wandering around outside and I thought she was just your average stray. They won’t believe me, because Bernie and Libby are involved in the case. The facts aren’t plausible. But if they come to Ines’s house and she says that to them, they’ll believe her. Why shouldn’t they? Up to this point she hasn’t been involved with Trudy in any way, shape, or form.”

“Do you think the police will really come looking for her?”

Sean shrugged. “Let’s put it this way. Probably not, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they did. Even they can sometimes put two and two together. It really depends on how much pressure they get to find her.”

“You’re not a big fan of our police department, are you?” Samantha asked.

“That would be putting it mildly.”

“My dad said you got what you deserved, but considering my dad, I think that means you got a bad rap.”

“Thank you,” Sean said.

But as it turned out it wasn’t the police who turned up at the Simmons’s flat. It was Richard Colbert.