A Changed Life (29 page)

I was brought into the courtroom full of spectators, and the press had taken their seats. My handcuffs were removed. I was happy and relieved to shower and wear a decent suit. I held out hope my appearance would sway the judge into granting bail today. John was in a heated discussion with the prosecutor and that jerk-off detective who interviewed me. John walked over a few minutes later, and instructed me to look at him. I wasn’t to say anything, only nod and listen. “Michael, you screwed up royally this morning by calling Nicolette. Her father reported it, and now it’s being added into this morning’s court proceedings.” I nodded at him. “What the hell were you thinking, Michael? Calling that girl just helped the prosecutor’s case. You buried yourself, and I’m not sure if I can get you out of this.”

I clenched my jaw, and quietly told him that he would get me released today. “Do your job John, and stop whining about it. My father pays you well enough.”

John turned away from me, and I think muttered a curse under his breath. I looked around the courtroom, and locked eyes with Mason Vanelle. If looks could kill, I would be dead right now. Court got underway, and my father patted me on the shoulder instructing me to remain calm, and pay attention. My charges were being read aloud by the judge, explaining all the counts against me.

I was being charged with rape under the California Penal Code 261, in the first degree that included aggravated force, and violence against the alleged victim. Other charges included stalking, and various sexual misdemeanor charges. The lead prosecutor continued to explain in lengthy detail the crimes I committed against Nicolette, without revealing her name. He just kept calling her my victim. John went next to refute the charges. He concluded with his arguments, and the judge asked me to rise from my seat.

The judge asked me how I plead to the charges that were introduced in this case against me. I took a deep breath, and I responded, “Not guilty.” The courtroom erupted with chaos and loud voices, especially a strong reaction from Mason Vanelle. I was instructed to sit down, as the judge spoke. He ordered his courtroom to quiet down, or the loud spectators would be removed from the room and barred from future entrance to these proceedings.

John then requested bail on my behalf, explaining that I have never been in any trouble before, and I come from a prominent California family. The prosecutor quickly leaped to his feet to rebut John’s request, but the judge slammed his gavel down shutting down the two men before him.

“I have never granted bail in a class one rape/sexual assault case. I will not begin today. Your request of bail is denied. You, Michael St. Clair will return to custody in the L.A. County Jail to await trial, unless you change your plea from now until then.”

I placed my head in my hands, and was lifted up from my seat from a court officer. He was handcuffing my hands when I looked up to see Nicolette in the back of the room staring back at me. I was stunned that she was here. I wanted to call out to her. I had no time to react. I was led away, but not before looking back one more time at her pained face.

I was ready to scream at the top of my lungs had Michael been granted bail. Thank god he wasn’t. I wanted him to see the pain in my eyes because of what he did to me, and know he was the reason for it. I thought I saw remorse for a brief second, but he was probably scared that he was going to jail, instead of being sorry for what he did to me. I thought I saw my father glance in my direction once, but I was sure he was concentrating on listening to the judge.

As I drove away from the courthouse, my mind was reeling from all that I heard back in there. I was surprised my name wasn’t mentioned throughout the arraignment, but I knew eventually my identity would be revealed. I drove for endless miles until I found myself parking in front of the beach club. Why was I here? Was I a masochist for returning to the scene of the crime? I had nothing to gain by being here, and all it represented now was memories of my assault from Michael, and the extreme pain that I was in.

Not everything about this place was painful. I shared good times here with my new California friends, and was part of the fabulous circle as they called it. Alexis, Bailey, Jameson, and Sam. The best part was Simon, the boy I fell in love with. He had found his way into my heart, while I was breaking his.

I walked down past the marina. I didn’t see Michael’s boat in the slip. Standing and staring at the very spot where the life that I had was taken from me. My mind kept returning to that night. I turned away from the marina and walked what seemed like miles down the beach. I found a hidden spot between two massive sand dunes where I sat nestled between them. As I stared out to the beautiful pacific, I was praying to the universe for a sign. A sign telling me that what happened to me will not break me, and somehow I will survive this.

Looking at my phone every five seconds made my heart race, and I couldn’t concentrate on school. I bailed on my track meet, and the coach was so pissed off at me, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to see Nicolette, and she wasn’t returning my phone calls or texts.

At lunch I joined the gang on the quad where they all assembled under our favorite tree. Bailey asked me first about her friend. They knew now about what happened, and were beyond worried about Nicolette. “She hasn’t called us, Simon” Alexis said.

“I know she hasn’t,” I replied. “You have to give her some time, and when she’s ready, she’ll come back to us.”

“What about you, Simon. How are you dealing with all of this?” Sam asked, his voice filled with concern for his friend.

“I’m doing the best I can. Just trying to hold it together for her, and be anything Nicolette needs me to be to get her through this. I have never felt so angry than I do right now. I want to make Michael suffer for what he did to my girl. You can’t imagine what it did to me when I saw what he did to her. Nicolette was beating on him, and her body broken and torn apart by that animal. I wanted to finish what she started, but I knew I had to get her help. That’s when the police and an ambulance showed up. I had her blood on me, and I was sickened by it. My beautiful girl was hurt, and I could do nothing to help her.” Bailey lunged at me with the strongest hold around my neck, begging me to stop blaming myself for this. “Michael did this to her, not you.”

“Simon, you can’t go through this again, Jameson chimed in. We all watched you suffer with what happened to Jennifer, and this situation with Nicolette is going to rip your heart out.”

“It already has, don’t you all get it? What Michael did to Nicolette can never be undone. I’m only hurting because I am so in love with Nicolette. Before this happened, every time I looked into her eyes, or held her in my arms, I couldn’t imagine my future without her in it. I don’t know what to do?” I shouted at my friends. Surrendering to my hurt, I just fell down on my knees, and cried. The girls wrapped their arms around me, I tried to shove them off, but they stayed with me. I only wanted Nicolette’s arms around me, and I didn’t even know where she was.

I calmed myself down and tried to eat something, but I couldn’t even remember my last meal. It didn’t seem like anyone else at school knew about what happened to Nicolette, or if they did, no one asked me about it. Jameson asked me if Nicolette was going to return to school, but I couldn’t answer him. For all I knew, she could have been back on a plane to Chicago as we speak.

The rest of the day dragged on, and all I wanted to do was get on my Harley, and speed away from all the pain that plagued my mind. Final bell rang out, and I dumped my stuff in my locker where Sam was waiting for me. “Hey buddy, let’s get out of here and go somewhere.” I declined his offer, because I wanted to be alone, but not before reassuring him that I wasn’t going to do anything stupid. I just needed to clear my head, and riding my Harley would do just that.

My heart stopped when I saw her car. Nicolette was here somewhere on this beach. I parked my bike, and started to look for her. I checked the club and the marina, but I couldn’t imagine why she would be there, but I had to check anyway. I began jogging up and down the beach until I saw a flash of pink through the sand dunes. I thought it had to be Nicolette. As I slowly made my way up the hill, and sure enough it was my angel, asleep between the dunes. I just blinked back tears, and tucked the stray hairs behind her ear that had fallen over her cheek.

I didn’t want to scare her, so I just tried to be as quiet as I could until she woke on her own. I kept my distance and waited for Nicolette to wake. She finally stirred after 15 minutes after my arrival, and she opened her eyes to see me watching her. Nicolette blinked a few times getting acclimated to her surroundings, and then she asked how I found her.

I asked her, “Don’t you know? I will always find you, because I love you. Your heart is connected with mine.”

One lone tear streamed her beautiful rosy cheek, and I just wanted to wipe it away. I needed her permission to touch her, and she gave it to me with her beautiful eyes. I ran my thumb across her tear, and now many more tears trickled down. I asked her if I could hold her. She hesitated at first, and then let me. I pulled her onto my lap wrapping my arms around her, and she just nestled into her usual spot. If I was certain of anything, I knew she belonged right here with me. I was never going to let her go again.