Authors: Honor James
“I blame it on me and the fact that I’m practically always
on-site somewhere” she shrugged. “She’s learned a great
deal
but
it’s all good. She’s a good kid,
even if she speaks when she shouldn’t.” They had this talk. As soon as she
found out that it was Carson MacDonald’s ranch they were going to, she had told
her daughter to try to keep it on the DL and try not to draw attention to
herself. The last thing she needed was
Carson
trying to find a place in their lives now. He didn’t want to then, and he
shouldn’t want to now.
“It’s all good,” he shrugged. “Kids as a general rule are
curious about anything and everything. I know I was, once upon a time. We all
seem to lose that when we turn into adults and take on the responsibilities
passed down to us. But the rest of you…” he looked to the hands again. “Oh, you
lot are going to pay for your big mouths.”
“Esther started it,” they all practically shouted.
Monica laughed and shook her head. She knew that Carrie
wanted to get to know her father and she couldn’t blame her.
Carson
was an amazing man. However,
Carson
had broken her
heart. He had stomped on it, via his sister of course.
Carrie kept shooting looks at
Carson
. It was clear that the child was
curious about him but she kept her mouth closed and instead she simply watched
him instead.
“You lot are not getting dessert,” Esther announced,
getting groans and muttered apologies. “Nope, you threw me to the wolves, no
dessert for a week.”
That really got a reaction, and the men were out to placate
her again.
Carson
just shook his head at their antics while he sat quietly eating his dinner. He
appeared distracted and only partially aware of what was going on at the table.
When dinner was finished Monica placed her hand on Carrie’s
and gave it a squeeze. “We will do dishes, won’t we, Care?”
“Yeah, we can clean
up. We’ve done it before, haven’t we, Mom?”
“Yep, we’ve done it before and we will do it again and
again, I’m sure.” She didn’t believe that they should have a housekeeper, even
though Monica was no longer a small-town girl. She tried to give her daughter
those values that she had been given, except for the teenage sex thing. Monica
was seriously trying to keep her daughter from making the same mistakes and
falling into the same pattern that she did when she was that age.
“I will take your help,” Esther said with a smile. “And you
both will get extra helpings of dessert since we’ll have a lot of it for the
week to come. Now,” she got to her feet and glowered at the men at the table,
minus
Carson
.
“I think you all have evening chores to attend to before you hit the bunks,
don’t you?”
There was more grumbling and a lot of shuffling feet as the
ranch hands all thanked Esther for dinner before departing from the house.
Carson
got to his feet
and moved to Esther. “You can give them my helping as well, Es. I’ll be in the
barn if you need me,” he said quietly before leaving the kitchen.
Sighing, Esther shook her head and muttered under her
breath.
Carrie waited until her mother’s hands were full and said,
“I will head out and see if he needs help.” Before Monica could stop her she
was out the door and chasing after
Carson
.
Slowing to a walk, she fell in step alongside him. Every move she made was him
all over. “So what do you do in the barn?” she asked him as they walked along.
“Can I help you? I’ve never really been around animals except like Mom said,
cats and dogs, and crap like that.” She looked up at him and frowned. “You
really don’t like my mom at all, do you?”
Carson
shot her a look and shook his head. “I have no opinion one
way or another about your mother. I don’t really know her,” he said. His tone
suggested something that she was missing. Damn adults and their ‘secret’ code.
“I was going to check the horses in there and make sure they were comfortable.
We have three mares that are going to give birth in the next couple of weeks
and we have a stallion with a cut
we’re having
to keep
an eye on. You’re welcome to come along, but I should warn you that you may not
like the smell in there.” He shot her a decidedly evil-looking grin as they
reached the door and he rolled it open, waving her through.
She shrugged and laughed. “My mom tried to cook meatloaf
once. Once,” she grumbled. “Believe me, I can handle the smells,” she said with
a smile. “I’ve never seen anything give birth before. I hope that they have
them while we’re here. If so, can I watch? Can I watch them having their babies
or whatever they’re called?”
“Foals,” he said with a chuckle, sliding the door shut
again. “Keep your voice down and modulated to a calm tone. Horses are extremely
sensitive to our moods, and all those in here need to be kept calm. As to a
birthing,” he shrugged. “I’m sure we can arrange it. But you should know
,
it usually happens in the dead of the night so you’ll have
to come out at whatever time the mare decides she’s ready to drop her foal.”
“That’s chill, I totally can do that,” Carrie said as she
moved along with him. “You are really pretty pissed that we are all here at
your place, aren’t you? How did you get talked into this craptacular job of
teaching a couple of
Hollywood
idiots how to
be real life ranchers?”
He shot her a look and then shrugged. “I have this friend,
who happens to be the bane of my existence these days, he talked me into it.
I’ve known Matthew since I was in diapers. We did the whole school thing
together, and then after high school he went to work for his dad’s company and
I took over the ranch. When he originally brought it up I turned him down flat.
But then my pain-in-the-ass sister, who I do actually love when I don’t feel
the need to kill her, stuck her nose into it.”
Moving to a stall, he rolled the door open and stepped
inside. Running his hand over the large stallion’s head, she could hear
Carson
speaking quietly
to the horse as he bent to look at a wrapping on the front leg. The horse was
eyeing her in a curious manner, even as his ears twitched back and forth
slightly.
“Bev felt it was a good idea. I told her to stick it where
the sun didn’t shine and then it went downhill from there,” he told her as he
straightened up. Leaning a shoulder to the horses, he rolled his eyes. “She’s
been trying to run my life for the last fifteen years. Thankfully, she lives at
the other end of the country or she’d be buried out in one of the pastures. And
no, that isn’t just me
talking,
I couldn’t stand
living with her growing up, let alone during my recovery. Fortunately, her
husband was on my side for that, and got her out of here before I was sent to
the Big House on a murder charge. And it would have been premeditated—really,
really premeditated.”
Patting a hand to the horse’s chest, he walked out of the
stall and slid the door shut before moving to the next one. “Anyway, somewhere
in there we fought and I ended up saying I’d do it if she’d get off my back for
the rest of my life. She agreed, after many little sniffles and crap that women
pull out, no offense, and I signed on, which made Mathew happier than a clam
and now means he owes me big. Course, he doesn’t know that I didn’t do it all
out of the goodness of my heart, which is why
he
seems to believe I’m
doing it, so don’t tell him otherwise.”
He looked to her, “Only my sister doesn’t seem to be
keeping to her side of the damned agreement, and keeping her bloody nose out of
my life. I reminded her of this again tonight, rather loudly and with very
harsh language. Hell, at that rate, I may never get another call from her.” The
look on his face was a bit rueful but a lot happier at the mere prospect, then
it fell. “I’m not that damned lucky,” he muttered.
Pushing open another stall door, he stepped inside with the
very pregnant mare. “Hello, Darla,” he said to the horse, stroking her nose
gently. “I know baby, you’re uncomfortable.” The horse shifted and whinnied,
tossing her head around. “Couple more weeks is all, Darla. Then you will be
able to go and run around with the others again with your baby.”
He turned to look at her. “Want to come in and meet the
mother-to-be?” he asked softly.
“Yeah, I would like that,” Carrie said as she watched him.
“Yeah, Mom’s talked about people like your sister before.” His sister was the
one that her mom had actually spoken of. “So what should I do? Like, is she
like dogs when they are hurt, and will bite or something?” Carrie had never
been around a beast this large.
Laughing softly, he shook his head. “Horses are, in
general, very gentle creatures but like any animal, they have nonverbal
communication skills. Stroke her nose and if she’s good with you, she’ll dip
her head down to let you rub between her ears. Just keep your fingers away from
her mouth and you’ll be fine. They tend to see our digits as carrots or
something of that sort.”
“Yeah, I would be seriously pissed if I had a finger eaten.
I have a friend who is deaf and I need all of my digits to speak to her or else
conversations really suck.” Carrie moved forward and lightly touched the
animal, taking her time and then rubbing softly. “She feels weird, but it’s not
a bad weird,” she told the man, her father.
“A little rough and yet a bit soft, right?” he asked. At
her nod, he tipped his head slightly. “That can be said about a lot of things
in life. Here.” He dug into his jacket pocket and handed her an apple. “Set it
in your palm and keep your hand flat, fingers together with your thumb tucked
to your hand.” He demonstrated what he meant for her and then waved her on.
“Yeah.”
She eyed
the horse and then him. “And you are totally sure that she won’t bite my hand
off?” He nodded. She took a deep breath and trusted him. He was, after all, her
father. “So why don’t you have kids and a wife and stuff?” she asked as she
stepped forward to let the animal eat from her hand and laughed, a laugh that,
if he listened, sounded just like his own. “That tickles.” She giggled.
Chuckling, he stroked the mare's neck while he stared past
her, his gaze slightly unfocused. “I had only one woman in my life that I
really cared for and could have loved for eternity. She was amazing, stunning,
and could make even the most stern old fart in town smile just to hear her
laugh. She left while I was in the hospital, I don’t know where or why, just
left. I didn’t find out until months later, when I could finally communicate
with everyone to ask about her. My sister told me she’d heard of the accident
but apparently didn’t care. She ran off with some guy and that was the last
anyone heard.” He smiled sadly and shook his head slowly. “I just hope she
found the happiness I obviously couldn’t give her.”
Straightening, he waved her toward the doorway before
sliding the stall door shut. “You’re awfully nosey for a teenager. Shouldn’t
you be full of angst and rebelling against the system or something?” he asked
with a teasing grin while they moved to the next stall.
Carrie snorted. “My mom is too good to me for that,” she
admitted. “And what if that wasn’t what happened?” She gave the second mare a
pat after it finished the apple. “Did you ever try to look her up? You know,
sometimes what you think is true and what is true, well, they aren’t exactly
always the same things.” She shrugged and pulled back. Shoving her hands in her
pockets, she added, “Besides, if you cared that much about her, why didn’t you
tell her?”
“I thought I had all the time in the world,” he said
quietly. They were moving to the third mare, where he talked softly and checked
her over before they left the stall. He sat on a hay bale and pulled his
Stetson off, running his fingers through the blond strands. “My biggest regret
was never knowing
what I did wrong to send her running. I
tried to find her for awhile but I had no clue where to even begin. Plus, at
the time, I was trying to save this place from ruin, working eighteen hour days
when I got out of the hospital, and then time just seemed to have passed me
by.”
Setting the hat on his knee, he pressed his palms to the
bale as he leaned forward a bit. “I know I likely could have tried harder, but
honestly at the time I thought I’d done all I could with my limited resources.
Besides, she never once contacted me either so maybe she really didn’t feel
anything for me beyond a passing bit of emotion.” Shrugging, he looked to her
then. “I just really hope she found whatever she was looking for and has all
she ever dreamed of. As long as she’s happy, then I suppose
it’s
best she left me when she did.”
Carrie sat down beside him and shrugged. “I don’t know.
Maybe she did, but I don’t think she did.” She shrugged. “You could ask her,
you know,” she said with a grin. “I know for a fact she’s sleeping in your
guest room…well, no, I take that back. Right now, she’s standing there giving
me a shitty look.” Carrie rose and walked toward her mom. Over her shoulder she
called, “See ya,
Pops
.” And then she disappeared into
the darkness.