A Cowboy to Marry (7 page)

Looking content but exhausted, the mama horse lay on her side, watching.

As the sleek little foal began to suck on the bottle, Libby was filled with tenderness. She slanted Holden an appreciative glance. “No wonder you couldn't make our date.”

“Sorry I couldn't leave a more detailed message. I just figured I would call you later. I didn't expect you to drive all the way out here.” Holden paused to study her, his expression maddeningly inscrutable. “Why
did
you drive all the way out here?”

Libby flushed and struggled to keep her guard up. Before her heart went from foolishly wishing for more than a rebound-dating experience with Holden, to being completely vulnerable.

She forced herself to glance away from him. “I tried calling—there was no answer.”

He braced his hands on his hips, his eyes guarded now. “Did you think I'd changed my mind about helping you and I was standing you up?”

Libby drew a breath, reassuring herself that even after the hot intensity of their kisses, they were in no real danger of actually hooking up. They were both much too sensible for that. She gestured with her free hand. “First of all, the decorating has been done today by LRE staff. And, after last night…”

Holden's jaw set with McCabe resolve. “We were smart to stop when we did. Continuing after the picture fell…well, that would have been really awkward.”

It certainly had broken the mood.

Libby gave a sigh of relief. “So it's not just me.”

“It's not just you.” An indecipherable emotion crossed his face.

As they headed for the exit half an hour later, when
the foal had been fed, Holden put a hand on the small of Libby's back and surveyed her closely. “Since you're here and things are calm in the barn for now…want to come inside with me?”

She ignored the heat radiating from his palm. “Sure.”

Together, they crossed the yard and walked into the two-story fieldstone ranch house.

Unlike her home, where photos of Percy and his family abounded, Holden's house had been wiped clean of any memory of Heidi and their marriage. But then that was to be expected, since they were divorced. As she looked around, Libby couldn't help but wonder if that was a healthier way to live, in the wake of loss….

Casually, Holden advised, “Make yourself at home. I'm going to shower. After that, maybe we can rustle up some dinner.”

Left alone, Libby wandered into the kitchen, switched on the lights and got her second surprise of the evening.

“What's all this?”

The icy note in Libby's voice stopped Holden in his tracks.

He ran a hand through his freshly shampooed hair and followed her gaze to the stacks of paperwork on his kitchen table. Too late, he realized he probably should have told her about this when she first arrived at the ranch.

He'd certainly meant to mention it.

Had she not showed up so unexpectedly and looked so damn gorgeous in tailored black slacks and an evergreen wool blazer, he probably would have told her. Instead, all he'd been able to focus on was how soft and silky her hair looked, falling about her shoulders.

Holden edged closer, taking in the agitated color in her sculpted cheeks and the stormy set of her luscious lips. Calmly, he brought her up to speed. “Jeff Johnston stopped by earlier today. He gave me the full sales pitch. Told me how good this would be for you.”

She raised her chin. “Bottom line?”

Okay, so she was ticked off at him. Holden matched her contentious tone. “He wanted me to use my influence with you to try and get you to sell to him.”

She released a short, bitter laugh. “And you said?”

“That you're a very intelligent woman who likes to make up her own mind. I also warned him that tactics like this were not likely to put him in your good graces.”

Libby watched him get the coffeemaker out. “You can say that again.”

Holden poured coffee grounds into the paper filter. “I'm not the only rancher he's visited. He's been making the rounds of all your customers.”

“And my employees.” Frowning, Libby told Holden about the meeting she'd had with her staff before she had come over to see him.

Holden added water and switched on the machine. “How do you feel about that?”

“Honestly?” She leaned against the counter and rubbed the toe of her suede pump across the wide-plank oak floor. “I don't know what to think.” She bit her lip. “He seems to have convinced everyone that he would do one heck of a lot better job running the dealership than I have.”

“And that hurts,” Holden guessed, wrapping a consoling arm about her shoulders.

Libby settled into the curve of his arm in a drift of cinnamon perfume. “I thought I had done a good job.” She shook her head. “Sales are on par with what Percy—and his parents—managed. I've given everyone bonuses and cost-of-living raises.”

“I know they all appreciate that.”

“Yeah.” Libby fell silent.

“I thought this was what you wanted.”

“So did I,” she admitted.

Sensing there was more, he waited.

She ran her hands through her hair, then turned to look up at him. “I didn't expect to get what I wished for so
quickly.” She stepped back slightly so they were no longer touching.

Holden pushed aside the need to pull her into his arms and kiss her again. “Has Johnston come in with a number yet?” he asked.

“No.” Libby sighed. “But given how determined he is to make the deal, I can't imagine he would offer anything insulting.”

“You can still turn him down.”
Stay here in Laramie.
“Keep the business in the family, so to speak.”

Regret pinched the corners of her mouth. “Actually, Holden,” she said softly, “I can't.”

 

L
IBBY COULD TELL
by the way Holden was looking at her that she was acting like a flighty woman unable to make up her mind.

She couldn't help it. Her emotions were a mess. And who better to hear why than the man who had already seen her at her worst, and thought no less of her?

“I still feel bad about selling, because even though the Lowell name will be on the dealership, there'll be no one from the family actually involved in running the business.”

He got two mugs from the cupboard. “And that ends three generations of tradition.”

Libby frowned. “That's not what Percy or his parents would have wanted.”

Holden filled the mugs with the fragrant brew. “You're right.” He paused to pass her one. “As much as Percy sometimes resented being handed a career, he was proud of what his family had built.”

Libby sipped the hot, delicious coffee. “I'm proud of it, too. And now I'm on the brink of ending that.”

Holden took her elbow and led her to the living room.
“Have you thought about keeping the dealership yourself and just hiring someone else to run the day-to-day operations?”

She settled on the handsome leather sofa. “I'd still have to be involved on some level. And that would keep me from moving on to a life of my choosing.”

“Which would be where?” he asked as he sat down beside her.

Libby turned toward him. “I don't know that, either. I was thinking Austin, because I grew up there, but most of my friends have moved away.” She drew a bracing breath. Became way too aware of the soapy clean scent of his hair and skin.

Pushing aside a mental image of Holden in the shower, she forged on. “Would being there just remind me of losing Aunt Ida?”

Compassion shone in his blue eyes.

Libby swallowed. “I could certainly relocate to Dallas or Houston. There would be plenty of opportunity for whatever I might choose to do with my life.”

“But no family or friends.”

She traced the UT insignia on the coffee mug. “I don't have family anywhere.”

Holden lifted his mug to his lips. “That will change.”

She met his eyes and didn't look away. “Will it?” she countered softly, feeling a little depressed again, like the hero in
A Charlie Brown Christmas.
“I don't seem to have much luck in that department.”

Holden put his coffee aside. “I know you feel unattached, Libby. Sometimes I feel that way, too.”

She set her mug down in turn. “But you have all those McCabes.”

He took her hand in his and turned it palm up. “And no wife or kids of my own.”

Libby couldn't imagine how anyone as kind, handsome and smart as Holden would ever go through his entire life alone. “That will change.”

He traced her life line with his index finger. “That's what everyone says.”

And yet he remained skeptical.

“Once we start dating again, actively looking, we'll find what we want,” Libby declared.

She knew what
she
wanted. Someone just like Holden.

He let go of her hand and studied her. “You really think so?”

“We have to.” Restlessly, she got to her feet and paced over to the window, where she looked out at the dark night. “Because I can't go on this way, Holden.” Her voice caught. “I can't live the rest of my life without family ties.”

He rose and walked toward her, all empathetic male. “You could become an honorary McCabe.”

Libby knew Holden wanted her to have everything she would have if her husband hadn't died, but this was getting ridiculous. “You really are taking this ‘a life for a life' thing too far.”

One corner of his mouth quirked. “What's wrong with having a place to go on every holiday?” he challenged, his gaze roving her face. “A group to hang out with?”

“How would your parents feel about that?” Libby retorted.

He shrugged and slid his hands into the back pockets of his jeans. “They
want
me bringing a new woman into the tribe.”

“As your wife,” she pointed out.

He tilted his head to one side. “You're my girlfriend.
Well, practice girlfriend.” Mischief glimmered in his expression. “In the loosest sense of the word.”

Libby ignored the tingling sensation in her middle. “It doesn't matter how serious we are. Or aren't.” She couldn't bear to experience anything that only invited more loss, as this eventually would.

Holden clearly felt otherwise.

“Girlfriends get invited to family events,” he stated sagely. “Friends, too, for that matter.”

Libby rolled her eyes. “Friends who have no place to go.”

Holden put his hands on her shoulders. “I'm serious, Libby.” He waited until she looked him in the eye. “There is no reason for you to spend this Christmas and New Year's or any other alone.” His grip tightened protectively. “I want you to spend it with me and my family, and I'm not taking no for an answer.”

Misery warred with the building excitement within her, but Libby forced herself to be practical. “You're going to have to,” she retorted.

He dropped his hands, stepped back. “Why?”

“Because, Holden, I know what it's like to start out as one thing—a beloved niece, a girlfriend, a wife—and then turn into more of a liability than either of us could ever imagine. I don't want to be that again. Not for you. And certainly,” she finished heavily, “not for your entire family.”

 

L
IBBY WAS JUST GETTING
ready to leave for work the next morning when the doorbell rang.

Thinking it might be Holden—whom she'd parted with awkwardly the evening before—she went to answer the door and found Holden's mother there.

“I hope you don't mind my dropping in this way,” Greta said. She had a coffee shop bag in one hand, a cardboard beverage holder in the other.

Libby ushered the elegant older woman inside. As usual, Greta's curly silver-blond hair was impeccably coiffed. She had on a trim denim shirtdress and a festive green Christmas cardigan that complemented the bright smile on her face.

“Holden said you liked vanilla lattes and cranberry scones, so that's what I brought,” she said warmly.

Libby took her coat, then led her into the formal dining room. “I do. Thank you.”

They chatted a moment about the weather, and the thus far fruitless efforts to get the county officials to fund repairs on the library.

“But I know you didn't come over here at eight-thirty in the morning just to discuss this,” Libby said. “What's on your mind?”

Greta sipped her latte. “I understand you and my son are dating.”

“Very casually,” she replied.

“So you don't see this leading anywhere…?”

In her wildest dreams? Libby clamped down on the fantasies their two kisses had inspired. If she was smart, she would not allow herself to go there.

“Realistically? I don't see how it could,” she finally replied.

Greta nodded. “Holden told me as much, too.”

Disappointment spiraled through Libby. That was the problem with even casual dating, she thought. It could still leave you hurt and wanting—needing—more. Especially at this time of year…

“Holden said he invited you to spend the holidays with us.”

And not just one Christmas and New Year, but all the holidays from here on out.

Libby worked to contain her lingering sadness. “That's right. He did.”

“And?” Curiosity filled his mother's eyes.

Libby reminded herself that leaving Laramie was the only way she would ever be able to build a life for herself, and get everything she wanted, like a husband and children. “I know Holden's heart was in the right place, that he feels for me because I have no family of my own left. But…”

When she couldn't go on, Holden's mom filled in the rest. “You think assuaging guilt and making good on a deathbed promise to your late husband aren't reason enough to bring anyone into the family, even unofficially.”

Leave it to her to cut straight to the chase.

Libby sighed, relieved to be able to be forthright, too. “It sounds like a good solution now. And it probably would make me feel less alone during the holiday season.”

“But…” the older woman prompted.

Libby grimaced. “But what happens when the rebound relationship Holden and I have embarked on ends, and he's with someone else?” She shrugged and pushed the unpleasant thought away. “I can't see his next girlfriend being comfortable having his old girlfriend—even a decidedly platonic one—at family gatherings. Can you?”

Greta relaxed. “To be honest, I don't see that as a problem. Our family has grown so much and our get-togethers have gotten so large…. Plus, by the time that happens, you might very well have your own special someone to bring
with you, too. Or you might be at your new love's family gathering instead of ours.”

Oddly enough, Libby did not see that as a comfort, either. Although it should be….

Greta continued gently, “What I do see as a continuing difficulty is the confusion Holden feels about
how
he is supposed to look after you in Percy's absence. Right now, the responsibility is all on his shoulders. Clearly, the obligation is weighing on him.”

Libby began to see where this was going. “But that might change if he felt others were looking after me, too.” In the loving, caring, all-inclusive way that the McCabes were famous for…

His mom nodded. “If you became part of the McCabe tribe, you'd have any number of people you could call on, at any time, to help and support you in any way you needed.”

The burden would be lifted from Holden's heart.

Finally seeing a way out of the morass they'd found themselves in for two long years, Libby concluded, “Reassured, Holden would be able to move on with his life. He would be able to be happy again.”

Greta smiled. “You both would.”

 

“I
THOUGHT
L
IBBY WAS
coming with you tonight,” Shane McCabe said when Holden arrived at the Annie's Homemade food-testing facility.

Because the family had a lot to accomplish that evening, and dozens of McCabes to do it, the gathering was being held in his aunt Annie's place of business. The large space was outfitted with dozens of picnic tables and still had plenty of open floor. Outside, where most of the men were at the moment, trucks were being unloaded, Christmas trees trimmed, spare greenery carried inside.

Trying not to be disappointed that another of their “dates” had taken a detour, Holden pulled on his leather work gloves and told his dad, “Scheduling conflict. I've got a foal that still needs hand-feeding. Libby had library hours at her home. So she's meeting me here.”