A Curious Mind (28 page)

Scott Andrew Snyder and Tracy Forman-Snyder
:
design and art direction, Arkitip

Johnny Spain:
one of the “San Quentin Six,” who attempted to escape from San Quentin State Prison in 1971

Gerry Spence:
famed trial lawyer, never lost a criminal case as a prosecutor or a defense attorney

Art Spiegelman:
cartoonist, illustrator, author of
Maus,
winner of the Pulitzer Prize

Eliot Spitzer:
governor of New York, 2007–2008, former attorney general of New York

Peter Stan:
analyst and economic theorist at RAND Corporation

Gwen Stefani:
musician, fashion designer

Howard Stern:
radio and TV personality

Cyndi Stivers:
journalist, former editor in chief of
Time Out New York

Biz Stone:
cofounder of Twitter

Neil Strauss:
author of
The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists

Yancey Strickler:
cofounder and CEO of Kickstarter

James Surowiecki:
journalist, business and financial columnist for the
New Yorker

Eric Sussman:
senior lecturer at UCLA School of Management, president of Amber Capital

t.A.T.u.:
Russian music duo

André Leon Talley:
contributor and former editor at large for
Vogue

Amy Tan:
author of
The Joy Luck Club

Gerald Tarlow:
clinical psychologist and therapist

Ron Teeguarden:
herbalist, explores Asian healing techniques

Edward Teller:
theoretical physicist, father of the hydrogen bomb

Ed Templeton:
professional skateboarder, founder of skateboard company Toy Machine

Margaret Thatcher:
prime minister of the United Kingdom, 1979–1990

Lynn Tilton:
investor, businesswoman, founder and CEO of Patriarch Partners

Justin Timberlake:
musician, actor

Jeffrey Toobin:
journalist, author, lawyer, staff writer for the
New Yorker,
senior legal analyst for CNN

Abdullah Toukan:
CEO of Strategic Analysis and Global Risk Assessment (SAGRA) Center, Jordan

Robert Trivers:
evolutionary biologist, professor at Rutgers University

Richard Turco:
atmospheric scientist, professor emeritus at UCLA, MacArthur Fellowship recipient

Ted Turner:
media mogul, founder of CNN

Richard Tyler:
fashion designer

Tim Uyeki:
epidemiologist at U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

Craig Venter:
biochemist, geneticist, entrepreneur, one of the first to sequence the human genome

René-Thierry Magon de la Villehuchet:
French aristocrat, money manager, one of the founders of Access International Advisors, which was caught in the Madoff investment scandal

Bill Viola:
video artist whose work explores stages of consciousness

Jefferson Wagner:
former Malibu councilman, owner of Zuma Jay Surfboards

Rufus Wainwright:
musician

John Walsh:
art historian, curator, former director of the J. Paul Getty Museum

Andy Warhol:
Pop artist

Robert Watkins:
businessman, chairman of the U.S. Rugby Foundation

Kenneth Watman:
analyst at RAND Corporation specializing in strategic defense and nuclear deterrence

James Watson:
molecular biologist, geneticist, zoologist, codiscoverer of the structure of DNA, Nobel laureate in medicine

Andrew Weil:
physician, naturopath, teacher, writer on holistic health

Jann Wenner:
cofounder and publisher of
Rolling Stone,
owner of
Men's Journal
and
US Weekly

Kanye West:
musician, music producer, fashion designer

Michael West:
gerontologist, entrepreneur, stem cell researcher, works on regenerative medicine

Floyd Red Crow Westerman:
musician, political activist for Native American causes

Vivienne Westwood:
fashion designer who developed modern punk and new wave fashions

Peter Whybrow:
psychiatrist, endocrinologist, researches hormones and manic-depression

Hugh Wilhere:
spokesman for the Church of Scientology

Pharrell Williams:
musician, music producer, fashion designer

Serena Williams:
professional tennis player

Willie L. Williams:
former police chief of Los Angeles

Marianne Williamson:
spiritual teacher, New Age guru

Ian Wilmut:
embryologist, led the team of researchers who first successfully cloned a mammal (a sheep named Dolly)

E. O. Wilson:
biologist, author, professor emeritus at Harvard University, two-time winner of the Pulitzer Prize

Oprah Winfrey:
founder and chairwoman of the Oprah Winfrey Network, actress, author

George C. Wolfe:
playwright, theater director, two-time winner of the Tony Award

Steve Wozniak:
cofounder of Apple Inc., designer of Apple I and Apple II computers, inventor

John D. Wren:
president and CEO of marketing and communications company Omnicom

Will Wright:
game designer, creator of Sim City and The Sims

Steve Wynn:
businessman, Las Vegas casino magnate

Gideon Yago:
writer, former correspondent for
MTV News

Eitan Yardeni:
teacher and spiritual counselor at the Kabbalah Centre

Daniel Yergin:
economist, author of
The Prize: The Epic Quest for Oil, Money and Power
, winner of the Pulitzer Prize

Dan York:
chief content officer at DirecTV, former president of content and advertising sales, AT&T

Michael W. Young:
geneticist, professor at The Rockefeller University, specializing in the biological clock and circadian rhythms

Shinzen Young:
meditation teacher

Eran Zaidel:
neuropsychologist, professor at UCLA, expert in hemispheric interaction in the human brain

Howard Zinn:
historian, political scientist, professor at Boston University, author of
A People's History of the United States

We've talked throughout
A Curious Mind
about how to use questions, how to use curiosity, to make your daily life better. But maybe you want to try what I did: Maybe you want to have some curiosity conversations, to sit down with a few really interesting people and try to understand how they see the world differently than you do.

Curiosity conversations can help give you a bigger life. They can do for you what they have done for me—they can help you step out of your own world, they can widen your perspective, they can give you a taste of experiences you won't have on your own.

Everyone has their own style, but I'd recommend starting close to home. That's what I did, in fact. Think about your immediate circle of relatives, friends, acquaintances, work-related colleagues. Maybe there are a few people with intriguing jobs or
very different experiences—of education, upbringing, culture, or people who work in your business but in a different arena.

That's a great place to start, a good place to get a feel for how a curiosity conversation works. Pick someone, and ask if they'll make a date to talk to you for twenty minutes or so—and specify what you want to talk about.

“I've always been curious about your work, I'm trying to broaden my sense of that world, and I was wondering if you'd be willing to spend twenty minutes talking to me about what you do, what the challenges and the satisfactions are.”

Or . . .

“I've always been curious about how you ended up as [whatever their profession is], and I was wondering if you'd be willing to spend twenty minutes talking to me about what it took to get where you are—what the key turning points in your career have been.”

Here are a few tips for when someone agrees to talk to you—whether they are a family member, an acquaintance, or a friend of a friend:

• Be clear that you want to hear their story. You're not looking for a job, you're not looking for advice about your own situation or any challenges you're facing. You're curious about them.

• Even if the person you're talking to is someone you know well, be respectful—treat the occasion with just a tinge of formality, because you want to talk about things you don't
normally; dress well; be on time; be appreciative of their time even as you sit down to begin.

• Think in advance about what you'd most hope to get out of the conversation, and think of a handful of open-ended questions that will get the person talking about what you're most interested in: “What was your first professional success?” “Why did you decide to do [whatever their job is]?” “Tell me about a couple of big challenges you had to overcome.” “What has been your biggest surprise?” “How did you end up living in [their city]?” “What's the part of what you do that outsiders don't appreciate?”

• Don't be a slave to your prepared questions. Be just the opposite: Listen closely, and be a good conversationalist. Pick up on what the person you're talking to is saying, and ask questions that expand on the stories they tell or the points they make.

• Don't share your own story or your own observations. Listen. Ask questions. The goal is for you to learn as much about the person you're talking to as you can in the time you have. If you're talking, you're not learning about the other person.

• Be respectful of the person's time, without unnecessarily cutting off a great conversation. If they agree to give you twenty minutes, keep track of the time. Even if things are going well, when the allotted time has passed, it's okay to say something like, “I don't want to take too much of your
time and it's been twenty minutes” or “It's been twenty minutes, perhaps I should let you go.” People will often say, “I'm enjoying this, I can give you a few more minutes.”

• Be grateful. Don't just say thank you, give the best compliment for a conversation like this: “That was so interesting.” And send a very brief follow-up email thank you, perhaps highlighting one story or point they made that you particularly enjoyed, or that was particularly eye-opening for you. That thank-you email shouldn't ask for anything more—it should be written so the person who gave you his or her time doesn't even need to reply.

Conversations with people outside your own circle or with strangers are harder to arrange, but they can be fascinating, even thrilling.

Who should you approach? Think about your own interests—whether it's college football or astrophysics or cooking, your community almost surely has local experts. When you read the paper or watch the local news, pay attention to people who make an impression on you. Search out experts at your local university.

Setting up curiosity conversations with people outside your own circle requires a little more planning and discretion:

• First, once you've identified someone you'd like to sit and talk to for twenty minutes, consider whether you might
know someone who knows that person. Get in touch with the person you know, explain who you want to talk to, and ask if you can use your acquaintance's name. An email that begins, “I'm writing at the suggestion of [name of mutual acquaintance],” establishes immediate credibility.

• If you are trying to meet someone who is totally outside of your circle, use your own credentials and strong interest up front. “I'm a vice president at the local hospital, and I have a lifelong interest in astronomy. I was wondering if you'd be willing to spend twenty minutes talking to me about your own work and the current state of the field. I appreciate that you don't know me, but I'm writing out of genuine curiosity—I don't want anything more than a twenty-minute conversation, at your convenience.”

• You may hear back from an assistant asking for a little more information—and some people may find the request a little unusual. Explain what you're hoping for. Be clear that you're not seeking a job, or advice, or a career change—you are simply trying to understand a little about someone with real achievements in a field you care about.

• If you get an appointment, make sure to do as much reading as possible about the person you're going to see, as well as their field. That can help you ask good questions about their career track or their avocations. But it's a fine line: be respectful of people's privacy.