“If they were going to do something, they would’ve done it by now. Besides, they wouldn’t offer me a job at the clinic without plans to keep me around for a while.”
“Don’t take that job,” Darcy said, her tone urgent. “I have a really bad feeling about it.”
“It would be a perfect opportunity for me to get in on the inside,” he countered, ignoring that little voice that sided with Darcy. “No more skulking around in broom closets—I would have easy access and cause to be there. No one would question if I was walking around, because I’d have clearance.”
“And you think that clearance wouldn’t come at a price?” she asked, tears sparkling in her eyes. “I’m serious, Rafe. This is a devil’s bargain. They know you’re onto them, and what better way to keep an eye on you than to rope you into something you can’t get out of? You might start on the right side, but in no time at all you’ll be sliding down a slippery slope. What do you think all those cribs are for?” He startled, unaware that she’d seen the cribs that night. She nodded vigorously. “Yeah, I saw them. And you and I both know nothing good was happening to those babies. What if you’re asked to do something you’re morally against but can’t get out of? This is bad.
Very bad.
And the very fact that Samuel has his greasy fingers all over it should tell you to steer clear.”
All salient points. But there was a seductive quality to the offer that was hard to ignore. “I have to make the choice that’s right for my son,” he said, stubbornly clinging to the idea that being on the inside might bring him closer to the truth. “I know it’s hard for you to understand—”
“You’re damn straight it’s hard for me to understand, because you’re being a jackass,” she interrupted hotly, wiping away the tears that had begun to track down her cheeks. “I just lost my mother. I’m not about to lose someone else I love just because they wanted to play the hero.”
Rafe stared, stunned, as Darcy spun on her heel and disappeared into her own bedroom, slamming the door and keeping him out.
She loved him?
She loved him.
Ah hell…this complicated things.
Because he loved her, too.
Chapter 22
D
arcy spent a restless night in a cold double bed in the guest room, the room that was supposed to be for her, yet she’d never slept in once. Her bed had been with Rafe, always.
She rose when the sun crested the horizon, eager to be free from that lonely bed, and quickly showered and got ready to head to the office. She was ashamed of how she’d behaved last night, wishing she’d shown more maturity, but it scared her to irrationality to think that Rafe might be willfully putting himself in danger. She wanted him to find his son, but she didn’t want to lose Rafe in the process.
And there was still the issue sitting between them that Rafe wasn’t even aware of: her paternity. She worried her bottom lip, rehearsing in her head a few possible scenarios where she spilled the beans, and his subsequent—possible—reactions. Best-case scenario, he laughed at her fears and told her he didn’t care who had fathered her; worst-case scenario, he looked at her with disgust and kicked her out of his home and his life. Surely there was a happy medium somewhere between those two scenarios.... She swallowed and kissed her pendant for luck, figuring she needed all that she could get.
Rafe was waiting for her with a coffee mug in hand, a peace offering if there ever was one, and she accepted it wordlessly. She didn’t trust her voice right now; she was too close to tears as it was.
“Good morning,” he murmured, ducking down to kiss her sweetly. “I missed you.”
She stared up at him, the coffee mug between them, and jerked a short nod. “Yeah, me, too. I mean, I missed you, too.”
“Are we still fighting?” he asked.
“Are you still considering that job offer at the clinic?” Rafe’s mouth tightened and she had her answer. She blinked back tears. “We’d better get to the office. Your patients will be arriving soon.”
“Darcy…”
She waved away his protests, not interested in rehashing the argument if neither of their positions had changed. “Hurry. We’ll be late. I need to check on Brando before we open.”
Rafe nodded, plainly not satisfied with her answer, but at least he respected her wishes.
Rafe felt like a jerk. He’d caused those tears glittering in Darcy’s eyes, and it made him sick. But how could he pass up this opportunity to get in on the inside of that place, when his son might be hidden there? Didn’t she understand he’d do anything to get his son back? Even sacrifice his morality? His dignity? His relationship with Darcy?
No. He talked a good game, but when he thought of losing Darcy, a sharp pain in his chest followed. In a very short time, she’d become an integral part of him.
Did Darcy have a point about his taking that job? He knew in his heart that Rolf Bulger was not vacationing in Florida, and yet he was considering eagerly sliding into the man’s position. What had Bulger done to piss off Samuel, and for that matter, how long would it take before Rafe made the same mistake? Likely not long, seeing as his objective had nothing to do with Samuel’s agenda and everything to do with his own. One thing was for certain: anyone who played for Samuel Grayson’s team gave up something—likely their souls—and there was no backing out. He wasn’t willing to play by Grayson’s rules. Deep in his heart, he knew he couldn’t.
So, that left only one option.
And Darcy had known all along. Too bad he’d been too stubborn to see what had been right in front of him.
An odd queasiness gripped Darcy’s stomach, and for an agonizing moment, she thought she might throw up. It was the stress, she reasoned, reaching into her purse for some gum. Nothing more.
But then another wave of nausea washed over her and she looked to her calendar with apprehension.
No…
she thought.
One time without a condom?
How could it be that easy? But the calendar dates stared at her without pity. She should’ve started her period a week ago.
Are you kidding me? On top of everything else, a pregnancy scare?
What would Rafe say? She bit her fingernail absently until she heard her mother’s voice in her head telling her to stop. She dropped her hand to her lap and smoothed her blouse over her stomach. Could she have Rafe’s baby growing inside her? A little piece of Rafe and her, blending into one perfect package? She startled at the weepy maternal streak, which she’d never felt before in her life. She hadn’t wanted kids. She certainly hadn’t ever cooed or gushed over other people’s babies. What kind of mother would she make? She already knew Rafe would be an excellent father. But as to her skills…she was already scared for the kid. She didn’t know how to change a diaper or even what to feed a kid aside from breast milk, but what after that? And breast-feeding? She touched her breasts lightly, searching for any telltale tenderness or fullness that hadn’t been there before. How could she manage a kid chewing on her nipples like one of those monkeys in the wild? She shuddered and then felt ashamed for her selfishness. Of course she would breast-feed. It made kids smarter, right?
“Darcy?” Rafe’s voice cut into her rambling thoughts and she actually jumped, nearly falling from her chair. “Are you all right?” he asked, concerned. “You look a little pale. Do you need anything?”
“Why would you ask that?” she asked, her eyes wide. Did he know? He was a doctor; maybe he could see some kind of universal, biological, neon signs that she’d completely missed. “I’m fine. Really. Fine. Perfectly so. And definitely not queasy or light-headed.”
He stared at her oddly, no doubt wondering if she’d fallen and bumped her head.
Darcy stood and shouldered her purse. “I’m going out for some lunch. Should I pick you up something?”
“Whatever would be fine,” he said, not convinced. “Are you sure—”
“Positive.” Oh! She reddened and moved away from him, darting for the door. “I’ll be back. Bye!”
If there were an award for acting conspicuous, she would’ve been a nominee if not the winner. But her head was a tangled mess. She couldn’t be pregnant. She wasn’t ready. Rafe certainly didn’t need this sort of added complication in his life. It wasn’t fair to either of them.
And it wasn’t fair to Devin, either. The poor kid hadn’t even met his father yet and he might be getting a sibling. She groaned. Hells bells, how’d this happen?
She stepped off the curb, intent to duck into the coffee shop for a Danish or something else sweet, when the air was knocked from her lungs as she fell to the ground, skinning her palms. She’d definitely been shoved, she thought in shock, turning to see who had been so rude, when a nondescript car barreled past her, missing her by inches. The car sped off down Main Street and disappeared without stopping to see if she was all right.
She sucked in a gasping breath, realizing that being short of breath was a small price to pay for being alive. That car could’ve killed her. Cold fear washed over her even as she tried to appear unaffected by the brush of death disguised as an ugly sedan.
“Are you okay?” She heard Rafe’s voice, realizing it was him who’d knocked her out of harm’s way. She turned and found Rafe staring at her, fear in his expression. She managed a nod but winced as she struggled to sit up. A crowd had begun to gather and her cheeks burned uncomfortably.
“Is she all right, Dr. Black?”
“Did you see how fast that car was traveling?”
“Did anyone catch the license plate? I’ve never seen that car in town before.”
“Must be an out-of-towner…”
The questions and comments coming at her were nearly overwhelming and she clung to Rafe. “Just get me out of here,” she murmured and Rafe understood.
“Let’s give her some room, people,” he instructed firmly, and a path cleared for them. Rafe thanked everyone for their concern and led Darcy to a private spot in the park across from the library.
“How’d you know?” Darcy stared, amazed. “If it wasn’t for you, I’d be roadkill.”
“You were acting so strangely I followed you with the intent to catch lunch together. I could tell you were distracted, because you never even heard me calling your name. You stepped off the curb, and that car came out of nowhere. Darcy, I think it wasn’t an accident.”
Darcy’s mouth gaped slightly, though a part of her may have suspected it. As far as she’d seen thus far, no one in town drove faster than a person could walk briskly, and whoever was driving that sedan had been trying to qualify for NASCAR. Someone had tried to…kill her? Even with the evidence staring her in the face, it was hard to fully comprehend. In all of her life, she’d never been threatened. It was a sobering thought, one that created troubling questions. “No…it had to be an accident. Who would try to kill me in broad daylight?”
“Someone who didn’t have cause to worry he’d get caught,” Rafe said grimly. “Plus, if pressed, it could’ve looked like an accident.”
She shuddered and Rafe wrapped her in a tight hug. “Darcy, when I thought that car was going to hit you, everything became very clear. I’m not going to take that job. You were right. It is a devil’s bargain. I’ll find Devin a different way.”
Tears brimmed in her eyes and she wiped them away, but they came harder. Too many secrets in this damn place. Including her own. She couldn’t take it any longer. If she was going to die, it was going to be with a clear conscience.
He gently pulled her hands free from her face. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
“I…I have something to tell you,” she said, wiping her nose. “And you’re not going to like it.”
He drew back, and the apprehension in his expression caused that queasy feeling to return to her gut. “What is it?”
“I…well, I…”
Just say it already.
She drew a halting breath. “I’m actually Samuel Grayson’s daughter.”
Rafe stared. “What?”
She sobbed harder, nodding as if she knew this admission was a death sentence. “I just found out recently and I came here because my biological mother may have been murdered by Samuel and I thought if I came here I could find answers, but I found you instead and I never thought I’d come here and fall in love but I did and now I’m afraid that you’ll hate me because I’ve been tainted by my father’s DNA.”
It was a lot to take in. The questions started almost immediately, but for a moment, he had to digest everything. His silence provoked a more earnest explanation from Darcy, which saved him the effort of asking the questions.
“My mother, Louise, died of cancer, but before she died she dropped a bombshell on me, admitting that she wasn’t my biological mother. My mother, her name was Catherine, gave me to Louise with an ardent plea to keep me safe and away from Samuel. Louise was worried that my ignorance might hurt me in the long run and so she shared the secret she’d been carrying my entire life. I came here looking for answers, but I’ve come up nearly as empty as you’ve come up with Devin.”
“I see,” he murmured, still a bit shell-shocked.
“Do you feel differently about me?” she asked fearfully and he realized she mistook his silence for one of condemnation. He sighed and wrapped her in his arms. How could she think that he could stop loving her over something out of her control? She shuddered in relief, crying soft mewling little cries. “I thought for sure you’d hate me after I told you. McCall told me I should just tell you—”