A Distant Dream (19 page)

‘Anything at all, George, you know that,’ she said.

‘I wonder if you could keep an eye on them round at my place while I’m away,’ he explained. ‘Mum’s practically a nervous wreck, Sheila’s got no patience with her and wants to join the services as soon as she can anyway, and Betty, as we both know, tends to look after number one. They rely on me to keep the peace and I’d feel a bit easier in my mind if I knew you were around every now and again as a stabilising influence.’

‘Of course I will,’ she assured him at once. ‘I’ll be looking out for little Joe anyway.’

His brows knitted into a frown and she knew how painful being away from his son would be for him. ‘Thanks, May. You’ll be the voice of sanity in that madhouse, and knowing that means I can get on with whatever is asked of me by the army.’

‘We’ll miss you, George,’ she said.

‘Same here, but the job has to be done, whatever that job might entail.’

There was a curious sense sometimes for May of wondering what the war was all about. New restrictions appeared almost daily and men were being called up in their thousands. But there was a feeling of going through the motions and not getting on with the actual war.

‘I shall keep up to date with news of you from Betty,’ she said, feeling emotional.

‘You make sure that boyfriend of yours takes good care of you,’ said George, who had met Doug briefly. ‘The lucky devil doesn’t have to go.’

‘Come off it, George,’ she said lightly. ‘You’d hate it if you couldn’t go.’

He gave a wry grin. ‘Maybe,’ he admitted.

‘There’s no maybe about it,’ she declared.

‘All right. There is a slight sense of adventure about it, I admit,’ he said. ‘Sailing off to foreign shores, that sort of thing.’

‘Well I wish you the best of luck,’ she said, feeling a burning sensation at the back of her eyes.

‘Come here, you,’ he said, wrapping his arms around her and kissing the top of her head. ‘You take good care of yourself. You are my dearest friend.’

She was sniffing into her handkerchief as he headed off down the street and she knew he would be too if it was acceptable for a man to cry. But George’s male pride wouldn’t allow him to indulge in such a feminine activity.

‘Personally I think it’s a damned cheek,’ said Doug after May had happened to mention George’s request when they were walking by the river at Richmond the following Sunday afternoon. ‘You shouldn’t have to worry about his family.’

Shocked by his interpretation of what George had asked her to do, she said, ‘And I won’t have to.’

‘But you just said he wants you to keep an eye on them,’ he reminded her.

‘Well yes, he does; just to sort of be there every now and again, which I would be anyway because of my godson and because the family are my friends,’ she explained. ‘I don’t have to move in and look after them or anything.’

‘I still think he’s got a nerve,’ he persisted.

‘How can you say such things?’ she began, her voice rising emotionally. ‘George was going away to face who knows what, so of course he would be worried about his family, especially as his mother is a very nervous woman. There’s a war on; we are meant to be looking out for each other.’

‘My concern is you in all this.’

‘I’m not so sure you’d be behaving like this if it wasn’t George who’d asked me.’

‘Well, he’s going away covered in glory and he expects you to do his job for him, and him a married man too.’

‘Doug,’ she almost screeched in an effort to stop him ranting. ‘George has been called up and there’s nothing he can do about it. He has a mother with bad nerves and a wife and young child. Of course he’s worried about them. It’s only natural he would ask me to keep an eye on them. I am his friend.’

‘Humph. I sometimes wonder about that.’

She threw him a cold look. ‘What do you mean?’

‘You seem a bit too pally with him for my liking,’ he declared. ‘It’s always George this and George that. Of course I am going to wonder what’s going on.’

‘So, are you suggesting that I would have an affair with a married man, especially one who is married to my best friend?’

‘If the cap fits . . .’

Her hand hit his cheek with a resounding slap and she turned and marched towards the town in a fury to get the bus home. He came chasing after her, holding his face.

‘May, please let me explain.’

‘There’s nothing to explain,’ she said angrily. ‘You’ve made it clear what you think of me, so now just leave me alone.’

He grabbed her arm. ‘Please come back to the boat,’ he begged. ‘I didn’t mean it. I was jealous. Just give me half an hour. I’ll make you a cuppa and try to explain.’

‘Half an hour then,’ she said. ‘Not a minute longer.’

‘Thank you, May,’ he said with ardour. ‘Thank you.’

‘It was the green-eyed monster, I’m ashamed to admit,’ he told her as they drank tea in the cabin of the boat, where the stove was glowing warmly.

‘That’s no excuse for such a horrible accusation.’

‘I know, and I really am sorry.’

‘All right, apology accepted.’ She narrowed her eyes at him. ‘You don’t really think I would carry on with a married man, do you?’

‘Of course not. I was just hitting out.’

She gave him a searching look. ‘It wasn’t only about my friendship with George, was it?’

His grim look gave her an answer.

‘This is all about you not being able to join the services, isn’t it?’ she guessed.

He nodded, looking sheepish.

She sipped her tea, looking at him over the rim of her cup. ‘Do you actually want to go away to war?’

‘Of course not. No sane man would.’

‘So why make such a fuss?’

‘Because I feel I
should
go,’ he replied. ‘I am fit and healthy so it feels wrong being on Civvy Street, and I know people around me think that too.’

‘I can understand why you might feel that way,’ she told him. ‘But I don’t think you should waste your time and energy. Anyway, what it’s really all about is your manhood and male vanity.’

He shrugged. ‘Probably,’ he admitted.

‘So swallow your pride and behave like a grown-up,’ she said. ‘You are doing war work and therefore your bit for the war effort, so just be grateful that you don’t have to go into battle.’

‘Easier said than done, but I’ll try.’

‘Good. As for my feelings for George,’ she went on briskly. ‘He is very, very dear to me, I won’t deny it, as is Betty, and that won’t ever change no matter who else is in my life. So if you want us to carry on, you’ll have to accept that.’

‘Yes, I realise that, May, and I’m sorry for my childishness earlier,’ he said sheepishly.

‘Let’s forget it.’ She paused thoughtfully. ‘I’ve never heard you mention friends. I assume you have some.’

‘No one close, not since I’ve been an adult. I had friends when I was a kid.’

‘You didn’t stay in touch?’

‘No.’

‘And you don’t miss the company?’

‘I’m a bit of a loner,’ he said.

‘You seemed sociable enough when we were at Ashburn and you took the class.’

‘A class is different,’ he said. ‘The teacher is set apart so can keep their distance.’

‘Don’t you want the responsibility of close friends?’ she asked, trying to understand him. ‘Close friends do need to be given time and attention.’

‘It’s probably more to do with the fact that I’m not always easy to get along with, as you will have noticed lately.’

She gave a wry grin. It was true, he wasn’t the easiest of men to have as a boyfriend. He could be so charming as to dazzle her, but his glum and distant moods left her reeling because she tended to think she was the cause.

‘Yeah, your moodiness is upsetting,’ she admitted, glad of the chance to bring this out into the open.

‘It’s nothing personal to you,’ he assured her. ‘You just happen to be there when the gloom descends. I’m surprised you’ve lasted this long, actually. All my other girlfriends have given me the elbow after a few low moods.’

‘I presume if you could stop them from happening you would,’ she suggested.

‘Exactly.’

‘If you can’t snap out of them, can you not act your way through them?’ she suggested. ‘Then no one else is upset.’

‘I do try but it doesn’t always work,’ he admitted. ‘Sometimes all I want to do is stay here on the boat and shut myself away from the world.’

‘Oh dear,’ said May. ‘That doesn’t sound very healthy.’

‘I’m sure it isn’t,’ he said, looking round the cabin. ‘But here is where I’m happiest. I love this place; it soothes me like nowhere else. It’s full of sunny memories.’

‘They say that childhood memories are always sunny, don’t they?’ she said. ‘Even if things weren’t that good in reality.’

‘Maybe they do say that, but mine really were good.’ He looked at her. ‘So now that you know what an odd bod you’re going out with, do you want to call it a day?’

‘Of course not,’ she said. ‘You don’t give up on someone just because they can be a bit peculiar at times.’

‘Who are you calling peculiar?’ he said jokingly.

‘You,’ she said. ‘You are very peculiar indeed and I shall try to make you less so.’

‘I don’t know how.’

‘Nor do I. It could be that you just need someone to listen to you,’ she suggested.

‘Could be,’ he said. ‘And if that someone is you, all the better as far as I’m concerned.’

All the bad feeling following their argument had dissolved and Doug seemed happy again, which led her to believe that he needed to talk his problems through more often.

‘Let me get you another cup of tea,’ he offered, giving her one of his most gorgeous smiles then coming over and kissing her before taking her cup for a refill. ‘We might as well make the most of it before tea goes on ration.’

She smiled. When he was like this he was irresistible and the moodiness didn’t seem to matter one little bit. He really was a very attractive man, even if he was rather strange.

Joe was having a whale of a time at the tea party to celebrate his second birthday in February 1940. It didn’t matter to him that the cake his grandmother had managed to cobble together had only a fraction of the sugar ingredient required since it was now on ration along with butter, eggs and many other essential food items. He was at the centre of attention and had gathered a whole collection of new toys, so life was good and his countenance, a miniature of his father’s, was glowing with excitement.

‘Methinks it’s time the visitors departed,’ Betty said to May confidentially. The tots were growing tired and fretful and Joe had got so overexcited that he was running round the room in circles, finally falling over and erupting loudly into tears.

‘I’ll see to him,’ said May, picking him up and sitting down with him on her lap at the kitchen table, cuddling and fussing him. ‘You go and say goodbye to the guests.’

Betty did as she suggested, fetching coats for the young mums she had got to know since having Joe, and their offspring.

‘You’re very good with him, May,’ remarked Dot, who was making an after-party cuppa to revive them.

‘I simply adore him, Mrs Bailey,’ May told her.

‘So do I, but I’m not good with little kids now,’ she confessed sadly. ‘I seem to have lost the knack since mine were small. Joe plays up something terrible on the odd occasion that I have to look after him, and it isn’t often for that reason.’

‘I’m sure you’ll get it back at some point,’ suggested May, who always felt rather sorry for George’s mother. Sheila and Betty were openly irritated by her nervous disposition, which seemed cruel as she obviously couldn’t help it. When she wasn’t in one of her states she was pleasant company. ‘I don’t suppose you lose that sort of thing for ever.’

‘Maybe not.’ Dot observed how comfortable May was with Joe. ‘Would you like a kiddie of your own, dear?’

‘Oh yes, at some point,’ said May without hesitation.

‘You’ll have to have a word with that young man of yours about it then, won’t you?’ she suggested lightly, pouring hot water into the pot and swilling it round.

May grinned but didn’t say anything. She was busy wiping Joe’s nose.

‘You’ve been going out with him for a while now, haven’t you?’ persisted Dot.

‘Only since last summer.’

‘It must be fairly serious to have lasted that long.’

‘We do get on very well,’ responded May.

This was true. She and Doug enjoyed each other’s company enormously. Since last autumn, when his moods had come out into the open, they’d had a great time, give or take one or two of his downers. He’d been more charming and affectionate than ever, had taken her out and about to dances and the cinema and had been very attentive. He had even told her that he loved her. But he never mentioned a future for them or even hinted at anything in the long term. Each date was made from one to the next, as if they had just met.

‘Perhaps he’ll have something special to ask you before long,’ said Dot.

‘It’s still quite early days, Mrs Bailey,’ May said. ‘You can’t rush these things, can you?’

‘I dunno about that,’ she said, chortling. ‘Your pal Betty didn’t waste any time, did she?’

May grinned at Dot’s directness. ‘That was a bit different, wasn’t it?’ she said.

Fortunately for May, who didn’t want to get drawn into a discussion about her friend’s personal life, Betty came into the kitchen.

‘Phew, thank Gawd those kids have gone home,’ she said. ‘It’s a good job you only have a birthday once a year, Joey boy, ’cause I couldn’t put up with that lot of monsters invading us more often than that.’ She sat down at the table. ‘Can I smell tea, Mrs B?’

‘Coming up,’ said Dot.

‘Can you pour one for me please, Mum?’ said Sheila, entering the room and sitting down at the table. ‘I was wondering if it would be safe to come back into the house yet, but I can see the little treasures have gone.’ She looked towards Joe, who was eating a biscuit rather messily. ‘Did you like having your mates round, darlin’?’

‘Yeth,’ he replied.

‘How come you are here, May, and not behind the counter at the Pavilion?’ asked Sheila.

‘Dad stands in on a Saturday afternoon and Mum and I take it in turns to have the afternoon off,’ she explained.