Authors: Brenda Jackson
Rae’jean nodded. “We still have to keep hoping.”
“Believe me, I am. Jason stopped by earlier, and he says she seems to be breathing better.”
“That’s a good sign.”
“Yes, but she’s far from being out of danger. I’ll feel a lot better when she comes out of the coma.”
Rae’jean shook her head in understanding. “Look, I can stay here for a while if you want to go home and freshen up.”
Grady placed the newspaper aside. “I can’t ask you to do that. You just finished your shift.”
“You’re not asking me, Grady. I’m volunteering. I know how much it means to you for Lynn not to be alone. Besides,” she said, smiling, “I had a pretty easy night last night and I’m not as tired as I normally am.”
Grady looked at her as an abundance of gratitude filled his gaze. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure. If it was a close friend of mine you’d do the same thing for me.” And Rae’jean knew that he would. Grady was just that kind of person.
“Thanks, Rae’jean. I appreciate it.”
Later that evening Rae’jean sat in her living room curled up in her favorite chair with her fingers around a cup of coffee. After Grady had returned to the hospital she had left to come home to get some sleep. Instead of sleeping at least four to five hours like she normally would have done, she had only gotten three hours of sleep at the most.
She kept her head bowed down and her fingers gripped tight around the cup as she mulled over Grady’s behavior over the past day and a half. Was it only deep concern for a friend that had him acting the way he was? She doubted he even realized the way he was acting. A lump formed in Rae’jean’s throat. Grady was behaving like a man on the verge of losing the woman he loved.
She took a sip of her coffee as she forced her mind to concentrate deeply on that thought. Grady loved her; she was sure of it. But was he in love with her? Some people claimed there was a difference between loving someone and being in love with that person. Did Grady understand the difference? Did she? Was that the reason she’d had those lustful thoughts about her neighbor? Were she and Grady turning their backs on the chance to have the kind of love they both deserved by unknowingly pretending to be satisfied with the simple, easy, and safe relationship they shared?
Before she could think about it anymore, the phone rang. Placing her coffee cup on the table, she reached over and grabbed the phone.
“Hello.”
“Rae’jean, this is Shawna. Lynn Whitworth’s condition just took a turn for the worse.” She took a moment before adding, “I think Grady needs you.”
Rae’jean was already on her feet with her heart pounding a thousand beats a minute. “I’m on my way.”
When Rae’jean arrived at the hospital she found Dr. Hudson and a couple of nurses in Lynn’s room readjusting the life-sustaining apparatus connected to her. “What happened?” She glanced at the bed where Lynn still lay in a coma.
“Her breathing slowed, almost came to a stop. We were able to bring her back around, although it was touch-and-go for a while. We’ve been able to stabilize her condition for now.”
Rae’jean nodded. “Where’s Grady?”
Dr. Hudson heaved a deep sigh. “You might want to check the chapel.”
That’s where Rae’jean found him, sitting in a middle pew. At first Rae’jean decided not to go to him, to let him have his quiet, personal moments alone. But then she decided that she had to go to him to make him see things not as they were but as they should be. She owed him that.
Without saying anything, she slipped into the seat beside him and took his hand in hers. “She’s all right, Grady. I just left Dr. Hudson and he said they were able to stabilize her condition.”
Without looking at her, Grady nodded. He continued to look ahead at the front of the chapel. “Did Jason tell you she came out of her coma, for a little while?”
Rae’jean’s brow lifted. “No.”
Grady took a deep breath before turning to meet her gaze. Her heart went out at the pain and torment she saw in it. “I was holding her hand and felt it move. I lifted my eyes to hers just in time to see them open and to hear the words, although they were weak and slurred.”
Rae’jean nodded. “What did she say?” She watched as Grady pressed his lips together like he couldn’t bear to repeat the words Lynn had spoken. She could tell from his expression that the pain of doing so would be great. She felt his grip on her hand tighten, although his palms were moist. They were as moist as his eyes were at the moment.
“Grady, what did Lynn say?” she felt compelled to ask him again.
He lifted his moist gaze to her and their eyes met and held. Then he spoke. “She said she loved me.”
Rae’jean wasn’t surprised by the words Lynn had come out of her coma to say to Grady. “Did you have a chance to say anything to her before she lapsed back in a coma?”
“No. What could I say?”
“You could have told her you loved her, too.”
Grady looked at her sharply. “You think I should have lied to her?” he snapped.
Rae’jean was not put off by his attitude. “It wouldn’t have been a lie, Grady. You do love Lynn and I think it’s time you accepted that.”
He pulled his hand from hers. “What are you talking about? Of course I care for her. She’s a friend. I’ll always feel something for her, but I love you.”
“Yes, you love me, but you’re
in love
with her.”
“Rae’jean, that doesn’t make sense.”
“Yes, it does, and I think it’s time for you to accept that.
I
have. The sooner you accept it the better off me, you, and Lynn will be. You and I love each other, Grady, and we will always love each other, but it’s not the same as being head-over-heels in love. We would have gotten married and lived together happily, or at least we would have tried to because we have so much respect and admiration for each other. That’s what our love is based on, Grady, respect, trust, and admiration. But what you feel for Lynn, what you’re trying hard to suppress, is a whole lot more. It’s the all-passion, all-consuming kind of love that few people have. And it’s the kind of love you and I could never have together.”
Grady shook his head. Tears he couldn’t hide appeared in his eyes. “You’re wrong, Rae’jean.”
She bit her lip to stop her own flow of tears. “No, Grady. I’m right. In a way I’ve known it for a while, but loving you, having you love me that way, was simple, easy, and safe. Even when some people weren’t ready to accept us together as an interracial couple, to us it still felt right. I didn’t want nor was I ready for intense emotions like heart-stopping passion or fiery desire. Nor did I want an all-consuming love. And I guess you didn’t, either. But now you need to take another look at things and so do I. Lynn needs you, Grady. She needs you to forget about whatever drove the two of you apart, and more than anything she needs you to tell her you love her. Forget about reading her the comics. The only thing that will bring Lynn out of that coma is for her to know you love her and just how much. She needs to believe that there’s someone back here worth surviving for. Without believing that, she’ll give up. You don’t want her to do that, do you?”
Grady didn’t answer. He really didn’t have to. The one lone tear that fell from his eye told Rae’jean everything. He reached out and hugged her against him. “I love you,” he whispered softly.
Rae’jean shook her head. “And I love you, too. But you’re not in love with me and I can accept that. So go to her, Grady. Bring the woman you’re in love with back. You can do it. You’re the only one who can.”
Grady’s arms tightened around her and she clung to him, comforted by the fact that she had done the right thing. Lynn needed him and Rae’jean wasn’t going to hang on to him out of selfishness or spite.
After a few silent moments, Grady released her and kissed her forehead. “You’re special; you know that?”
She smiled through the tears that wet her eyes. “And so are you, Dr. Fitzgerald. That’s why you’ll always be my friend. My very special, dearest friend.” She took the engagement ring off her finger and placed it in the palm of his hand. Kissing his cheek, she stood and walked out of the chapel.
“I can’t believe you gave up your man to another woman, Rae’jean.”
“Believe it, Lex,” Rae’jean responded with a breathless chuckle. She, Alexia, and Taye were having a three-way conversation on her speakerphone. Today she felt better than she’d felt in a long time. It had been almost a week since she had broken off her engagement to Grady, and she had been down in the dumps and feeling sorry for herself. But Grady’s phone call a few days ago, letting her know that Lynn had come out of her coma, had reinforced her belief that she had done the right thing.
“Well, what do you have to say about it, Taye?” Rae’jean asked.
“You did the right thing, Rae.”
Alexia snorted. “You would think so, Taye. You’re too soft.”
“And you, Alexia, are too hard. Give it a break and admit Rae did the right thing.”
“But I like Grady,” Alexia grumbled. “I had gotten used to the idea of him being part of the family with his good-looking fine self. I dread everyone in the family hearing about this. I bet Victor Junior and the ‘Mod Squad’ take credit for running him off.”
Rae’jean shook her head. “No one ran him off. The decision to end our engagement was a mutual one.”
“Well, now you can check out your sexy neighbor without going on a guilt trip,” Alexia said brightly.
“I don’t plan to get involved with anyone anytime soon. Besides, he’s moved.”
“He moved? Boy, Rae, you’ve had nothing but rotten luck lately.”
Sitting on the carpeted floor in her apartment, Rae’jean wrapped her arms around her legs. She had wondered why she hadn’t seen her good-looking neighbor after she returned from the family reunion and had casually asked another neighbor about him. She found out that he moved out of the apartments the week she left town for the family reunion.
It’s just as well,
she thought. She sighed deeply as she searched her mind for something to say to shift the conversation off her to someone else. “Taye, when was the last time you saw Michael?” she asked.
“I haven’t seen or talked to him since the family reunion, although the girls talk almost every day. I’ll see him in a few days, since Kennedy is spending the weekend with us.”
“Umm, that means he’ll be fancy free for two days,” Alexia said thoughtfully. “Be careful with that, Taye. You don’t want to free up his weekends too often. You never know who he might be spending his free time with. I hear there’s a lot of man-hungry women in Atlanta.”
Taye didn’t say anything as she listened to Rae’jean and Alexia lapse into another conversation about a movie that had come out the weekend before. Her thoughts, unfortunately, remained on what Alexia had just said. It didn’t help matters that she’d overheard a conversation Kennedy had had with Sebrina about Michael’s neighbor, the man-hungry Mrs. Boykins.
“Taye, are you still there?” Alexia asked her.
“Yes, I’m still here.”
“So what do you think?”
“What do I think about what?” Taye asked.
“Girl, you weren’t listening,” Alexia admonished. “I want to know what you think of Dominic as a boy name and Dominique for a girl?”
Taye lifted a brow. “You’re pregnant already?”
“Of course not, Taye. Please keep up. I haven’t seen Mr. Drop-Dead-Gorgeous since I’ve been back.”
Taye shook her head, smiling. “You’re not one to waste time on anything, so what’s the holdup?”
“Some things aren’t meant to be rushed, Octavia. Besides, I heard he’s out of town on business and won’t be back for another week.”
Taye nodded. “But when he returns…”
Alexia giggled. “The man’s a goner.”
Rae’jean shook her head, still not sure her cousin was doing the right thing. “Did you have a chance to tell your parents about your plans, Alexia?”
“Yes.”
“And what did they say?”
“The expected. ‘Don’t do it. It will be a mistake. Think things through first. Adopt.’” She smiled. “Momma even suggested I take one of Victor Junior’s kids off his hands since he got so many. I told them my mind was made up about it. They still weren’t happy with my decision but will support me anyway.” After a slight pause, she said, “What about you, Rae’jean? Is your mind made up about your father? Will you try and find him or will you forget the idea?”
Rae’jean took a deep breath. “I’ve had too much on my mind lately to think about it.”
“That’s understandable, Rae,” Taye said soothingly. “Take your time and don’t make a hasty decision about anything.”
“I won’t.” Rae’jean knew that taking the time to think things through was what she had to do.
After entering the recording studio, Quinn Masters came to a stop when the evocatively beautiful voice of Alexia Bennett caught his ears. The sound was soft, soulful, and sensuous—intensely so.
He continued walking and every step he took he was getting more entranced with the passionate melody, the soothing rhythm, and the woman whose voice had him spellbound.
That morning after opening
USA Today,
he had read the headline, “Alexia Bennett Quits Body and Soul to Go Solo.” The article had been a rather lengthy one, providing first the group’s history, then fans’ reaction to the announcement, and, last but not least, statements from the other two group members.
Chloe Parelli had taken the news in stride and wished Alexia much success, probably because she had plans to split herself once her pregnancy kept her from touring. Raisa Forbes was another matter. As expected, she had not taken the news well, and she had filled the reporter’s ear with unflattering remarks about Alexia. Quinn immediately dismissed Raisa Forbes from his mind. He preferred concentrating on the melody, as well as on the woman singing.
Rounding a corner, he saw her, standing behind a glass wall. Her head was thrown back; her eyes were closed. The mass of hair covering her head fell like a silken curtain around her face. Her body appeared calm and relaxed as her voice penetrated the air while belting out lyrics of love and desire.
He wondered how such a heartrendingly beautiful sound could come from any voice. It was strikingly moving and was pulling every emotion he possessed, setting the mood, stirring deep-rooted desire within him, and compelling him to finally do what he’d avoided doing since meeting her—make his move.
The reason he had not done so before now was that, other than the strong sexual attraction he knew they shared, they had nothing in common. He was a forever kind of guy, one who wasn’t afraid of marrying one day and having a family. It wasn’t a secret in the entertainment business that Alexia Bennett dropped men like hot potatoes, especially when they began showing attachment tendencies. Everyone knew she did not want nor was she interested in a clinging male or a lasting relationship. It was rumored the word
commitment
wasn’t in her vocabulary. And because of a failed marriage, one that had left her extremely bitter and way too wary, her motto was,
If at first you don’t succeed, say the hell with it and don’t think about trying again.
She saw life as neat columns and slotted men wherever she wanted to put them. Abbott Bodie’s opinion of Alexia Bennett was that in addition to being an extremely gifted artist, she was a tigress with long, sharp claws who didn’t mind using them if she felt her livelihood threatened by a man. Rumor had it that the last man she’d been involved with was still licking his wounds.
Quinn Masters was determined not to be a victim. Call him insane, but he had decided to tame the tigress. In due time he planned to have her not scratching but purring in his arms and his bed—for a lifetime. The bottom line was that the woman set his blood on fire. Ever since he had met her, she had constantly invaded his thoughts, taken over his dreams, and pulled at his gut. No woman had ever affected him that way. She was the first. And just like she was the first with him, he planned on being the first with her. He intended to be the man who would make her want to take a second chance on love.
If she was a tigress, then he intended to be the hunter. She was his prey. She was marked for capture, and he would do that very thing by utilizing his skill as a man. There was no doubt in his mind that Alexia, although they were opposites in a lot of ways, was his soul mate. He knew convincing her they had a connection would be a long process, but he was prepared. When it came to what he wanted, he was a very patient man.
And he wanted Alexia Bennett.
Seeing her again reinforced what he’d thought wasn’t possible. He had fallen in love with her.
No sooner had that last thought left Quinn’s mind than the song ended and Alexia lowered her head and slowly opened her eyes.
Then she saw him.
Alexia’s breath caught in her throat. She had been thinking of Quinn Masters while singing. Thoughts of him had penetrated her mind, rumbled through her soul, and touched her music. No man had ever done that before. No man had ever been the focus of her deep longing and intense desire while she sang.
Until now.
As she watched him studying her, she could barely handle the intensity he emitted. The penetrating magnitude of his gaze was forceful, potent. The expression on his face seemed to convey a passion, stroke a promise, and display persistence. That thought made her shiver, feel panicky. She didn’t want anyone that strong, that confident, that capable in her life. But then he was the embodiment of everything she wanted in the man who would father her child. He was a flawless specimen of a man. He would be absolutely perfect.
She would find a way to cope with and control her strong physical attraction to him. There were a lot of men out there, but she had only one heart. A heart that had been tested once and had barely survived. She would protect that part of her at any cost, which meant she would have to be careful and cautious with Quinn Masters. He was dangerously sexy, drop-dead gorgeous, and had eyes that generated searing heat, exuded sensuality, and promised earth-shaking passion.
Transfixed, she watched as he walked toward the room where she was, stopping when he could go no farther. Even the glass surrounding her didn’t protect her from his heat. And when his lips curved upward into a sexy smile, she felt her legs weaken as the force of that heat shot through her.
She ignored the sounds around her and had dismissed everyone from her thoughts until Frank Farmer touched her arm, reclaiming her attention, forcing her to breathe again.
“What is it, Frank?” she asked breathlessly, breaking eye contact with Quinn and looking up at the man who was the studio manager.
“I said you sounded good, Alexia. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you sing that way before. This will garner attention, that’s for sure. You won’t have any problems with a solo career.”
She smiled, appreciating his comments. “Thanks, Frank.”
When she turned back around Quinn was still standing there, outside the glass room, looking at her. For a moment she wasn’t sure if she should leave the safety of her enclosed surroundings. He was out there and she was in here. But then, she couldn’t hide from him forever.
Unhooking the recording equipment from her body, she opened the door and stepped out. Most everyone, including Frank, had gathered their stuff and was about to leave. It was lunchtime.
A part of her panicked. She wasn’t sure she wanted to be left alone with Quinn Masters. She had never been completely alone with him before. Even while she was sharing dinner with him that evening in Atlanta, others had been around, close by. She had felt safe. Now she felt cornered, at risk, in jeopardy.
“See you after lunch!” Frank hollered to her over his shoulder as he headed out. Giving Quinn a nod, Frank walked past him, and moments later the sound of the door shutting vibrated through the room.
They were alone.
Alexia took in a deep breath of air. She had to stay in control of her mind and her senses. She wanted and needed this man for one thing and one thing only—to give her a child. For days since making her decision she had wondered how she would go about convincing him to father her child. She had immediately dismissed complete honesty as the way. No man in his right mind would willingly get a woman who was not his wife pregnant. He would think being the baby’s daddy would come with strings attached. Strings he’d want to avoid. He would see twenty-one years of child support payments and a postulation on him that he didn’t want. Few would believe her claim of not wanting anything more from them than a child, a child she could afford to take care of herself. They would not believe that she would want them to relinquish all rights and leave her to raise her child alone with no plans to ever come back and hit them up for anything.
Since complete honesty was not the way to go, she would just have to let nature take its course and be prepared for the consequences. She and Quinn were sexually attracted to each other, and in time the urge to do something about it would drive them to take care of their needs. And when that time came, no matter how careful Quinn Masters was in protecting her from getting pregnant, she was determined to get pregnant anyway.
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone sing a song so beautifully, Alexia.”
Quinn’s words, spoken in a husky voice, captured her complete attention. She swallowed the lump in her throat and found her voice. “Thanks, Quinn. It’s good seeing you again. How was the wedding?”
“It was beautiful. How was the family reunion?”
His question made her smile. “It was fun, and thanks for the flowers. They were beautiful.”
“I’m glad you liked them.”
She watched as he slipped his hands into his pockets. The movement placed emphasis on just what a good-looking body he had, especially the lower part—well defined and firm. She cleared her throat. “What are you doing here, Quinn?”
“I came to see you,” he murmured softly. “I spoke to Abbott today and he mentioned you called him last week trying to reach me when I was out of town on business.” He paused. “Was there anything in particular that you wanted?”
If only you knew,
Alexia thought as she gazed at him through the thickness of her lashes. “Yes, there was. I wanted to invite you to dinner as a thank-you for your kindness in Atlanta when you took me out to eat. It’s my belief that one good meal deserves another.”
Or a debt to be repaid,
Quinn thought as he nodded. He had a feeling Alexia’s dinner invitation stemmed from her not wanting to feel beholden to a man for anything, in any way, shape, form, or fashion. “That isn’t necessary.”
“Yes, it is. It’s something I want to do.”
Quinn nodded. “When do you have in mind?”
“Saturday night at my place.”
He took his hands out of his pockets and crossed his chest. “Can you cook?”
His question made another smile touch her lips. One thing Idella Bennett made sure of was that her granddaughters could cook, whether they wanted to know how or not. “I can cook just as good as I can sing.”
Quinn lifted a brow. “Really?”
“Yes, really.”
A smile touched his lips. “I’m impressed. What else are you good at?”
A quiver of warmth spread through her with his question. She suddenly felt aroused, daring, and reckless. “That’s for me to know and for you to find out, Quinn Masters.”
He took her challenge and moved toward her. The attraction she’d felt upon first meeting him intensified, became even more potent, and the heat radiating from him touched her in all sorts of places.
“I plan to do just that, Alexia,” he said huskily when he came to a stop in front of her. “Starting now.”
His tone was lighthearted. But there was nothing light about the look in his eyes. They were dark. Turbulently dark. Smoky. Seductive. Gazing deep into her eyes, he reached out and closed his hands around her arms. Then, slowly, he drew her to him.
When their mouths met, Alexia knew that this was something that she wanted. It was what she had craved ever since meeting him, so she didn’t hesitate in opening her mouth under the full pressure of his. Wild, turbulent, hot feelings tore through her when she welcomed his tongue into her mouth, getting acquainted with the taste of him. And when he changed the angle of his head to feed more off her lips and mouth, she found out what it felt like to be kissed senseless. The man knew how to invoke passion. He knew how to strip emotions, dissolve your strength, and eradicate your mind of logical thoughts.
Alexia’s stomach clenched and a part of her wanted to pull away. This was too much and all they were doing was kissing. No, Quinn Masters was doing more than just kissing her. He was blatantly making love to her mouth. Slow, passionate love. The rhythm he was using as his tongue moved in and out, around and about in her mouth, touching her everywhere, would be the same rhythm he would probably use making love to her. Deep and thorough. Fire scorched through her at the thought and she somehow found the strength to hold on.
She wanted to do more than hang on. She wanted to participate. His kiss was the kind that encouraged you to be more than a willing partner. It seduced you into being an active participant. When her tongue joined his in the duel, the exploration, the quest for fulfillment, she felt his body harden even more, and she heard a groan from deep within his throat. She almost came unglued when he deepened the kiss.
Heat spread through to her every nerve as the taste of him flooded her mind, her senses, her body. His flavor was all-consuming, all-devouring, too delicious. She wanted to swallow him up whole. She felt heat pool between her legs and wondered if it was possible to have an orgasm from kissing a man, then realized she would find out soon enough if she didn’t end this by pulling away. But she didn’t have the mind to do so, nor the strength. Nothing had ever tasted this good, this rich, this intoxicating. If mating with his tongue generated this much heat, she didn’t want to think what would happen when he got inside of her. He would send her up in flames.
When at last he pulled away, only because they needed to breathe, she looked up at him, stunned, speechless. She needed time to clear her mind. Regroup. Rethink. Regain control. Quinn Masters had her shaking in passion so profound, so shattering, she couldn’t think straight. To be perfectly honest, at the moment she couldn’t think at all.
“You’re more than good at this, Alexia. You’re perfect,” he whispered softly, not loosening his hold on her.
Alexia shook her head to clear her mind. When she met his gaze again the expression on her face was troubled. “That was supposed to have been just a kiss, Quinn,” she said in a voice suffused with desire.
He smiled. “It was.”
The hell it was,
Alexia thought. If he believed that, then she was in way too deep. There was kissing and then there was devouring. Quinn hadn’t kissed her; he had devoured her. Now she wasn’t sure if it was safe to have him at her place alone for dinner. She had planned on taking things slow so he wouldn’t get suspicious of her motives. If their kiss was any indication, it appeared slowness would get tossed out of the window rather quickly and they would be making love a lot sooner than she’d anticipated. She couldn’t handle too many more of his kisses without wanting to tear the clothes from his body, without wanting to taste him all over, and without wanting him buried inside of her—deep.