Authors: Brenda Jackson
Michael’s gut twisted and he swallowed hard as emotions suddenly came over him, swamped him, and consumed him. When he made Stephanie that promise he had no idea that six months later he would find such a person.
But he had.
And to take it a step further, he would admit to himself now, tonight, that he had fallen in love with her. What he felt for Taye didn’t tarnish Lynda’s memory or the love they had shared. They’d had a good life together; they’d made a beautiful child. Lynda would always hold a special place in his heart. But he knew she would have wanted him to get on with his life and remarry. But he’d never given that any thought, because for the past six years he’d felt that he would never get lucky enough to find love that strong, that pure, a second time.
But he had.
And the woman he loved was trying to put roadblocks in the way of their ever sharing a life together. He couldn’t let her do that. He wouldn’t let her do that.
Michael gave himself a long, determined smile. He’d promised Stephanie that once he found that special person he wouldn’t let anything come between them. Now it seemed the thing that could keep them apart was something he held dear to his heart.
His family. Their family.
Michael lay there in the dark, his face illuminated by the moon’s glow reflecting off the lake that shone through his window. As much as he loved his family, he would not let them come between him and Taye. But first things first. He couldn’t tackle the family by himself. He would need Taye by his side. He would have to convince her that he loved her and that together they could handle anything. Including their family.
“How long are you going to try and ignore me, Taye?”
Taye glanced up sharply from studying her wineglass. Her gaze held Michael’s. They were sitting together at a table at Motown Café. The small flickering flame of a candle that sat on their table illuminated his features while a song by Boyz II Men played in the background. “I’m not trying to ignore you, Michael,” she said finally.
He reached across the table and took her hand, “I think that you are.”
Taye felt a trembling deep inside her from his touch. She tried tugging her hand away, but his grip tightened its hold. “You don’t have to hold my hand, Michael.”
“And what if I said I wanted to?”
“I’d prefer that you didn’t.” She gave one more tug and this time he released her hand.
Michael leaned back in his chair. “How about cutting me some slack here, Taye? If you want to go on a guilt trip, that’s fine, but don’t try taking me there with you.”
“I am not on a guilt trip.”
“Aren’t you? You seem to have been on one all day. You got up this morning barely saying anything to anyone. Even the girls noticed. I heard Sebrina whisper to Kennedy that you were probably PMSing.”
Taye’s shoulders slumped. “I was hoping that they wouldn’t notice.”
“Notice what? That you really are PMSing?” he asked, smiling at her.
Taye couldn’t help but return his smile. Michael had always managed to get her out of whatever funk she was in, and it seemed that he still could. Even if he was the reason for her funk. “I’ll be all right.”
“Not as long as you deny what’s between us you won’t.”
She frowned. “There’s nothing between us, Michael.”
“Only because you won’t let there be anything between us.”
She stared at him for a moment and then she wished she hadn’t when she felt a deep stirring in the pit of her stomach. “Last night was just overactive hormones out of control,” she said before taking another sip of wine.
“I don’t have a hormone problem, Taye.”
Her frown deepened. “Then maybe
I
do. It just so happens that I haven’t been as sexually active over the last few years as you have.” She hadn’t meant to tell him that, but then maybe it would be best if he thought her attraction to him was only physical. It was a lie, of course, but she was desperate right now.
Michael looked at her with much speculation. “I know you mentioned that you hadn’t dated anyone in a while. Just how long has it been since you’ve been intimate with a man?” he asked, arching his eyebrows back so far they almost became part of his forehead.
Taye shifted in her chair under his direct, intense gaze. “A long time.”
“How long?”
“Long enough.”
He inclined his head. His gaze intensified. “How long is long enough, Taye?”
She hesitated before answering. Then she looked elsewhere and not at him. “Over ten years.”
He gaped at her before exclaiming, “Over ten years!”
“You don’t have to shout, Michael,” she said flatly, noticing others in the café had turned their attention to them.
“Sorry.” After a moment he said, “Don’t you think that’s a rather long time?”
“For some people it might be, but not for me. After two pregnancies I decided to bail out of the lovemaking scene, since it appeared I was a walking baby maker. I was on the pill when I got pregnant with Monica. For some reason birth control doesn’t work for me, so I decided not to take another chance. A third pregnancy would get me kicked out of the family for sure.”
Michael’s fantasy returned. It was the one of her pregnant with his child. In his mind he could see her and could see himself as well, gently stroking her stomach knowing his baby rested inside.
“And since I’m not married,” Taye went on, “celibacy is a surefire way not to have another baby out of wedlock.” She took a sip of her wine before saying, “I responded to you the way I did last night because of overactive hormones.”
Michael looked at her thoughtfully. If she hadn’t had sex for over ten years, then he could probably believe that. Jeez, it’s a wonder she wasn’t climbing the walls. He had found out firsthand just how strong sexual needs could get. After Lynda had died he couldn’t bear the thought of ever making love to another woman. But then within two years he’d had to rethink that idea. It was either that or become an alcoholic when those strong sexual needs began to take effect. He had stayed celibate for two years and seriously doubted he could have made it to ten. Not too many people could. Leave it to Taye to be one of the few. But still he refused to believe what they’d shared last night had been only physical on her part. A part of him believed she had been touched emotionally as well, just like he’d been.
“Don’t look at me that way, Michael.”
“What way am I looking at you?” he asked, matching her light tone.
“The same way Alexia looked when she found out.”
“And what way was that?”
“Like I needed to have my head examined.”
A smile touched his lips. “I don’t think you need to have your head examined, Taye, but I am concerned that you’re refusing to have a healthy, normal relationship with a man because of your fear of getting pregnant. There are other methods of birth control than condoms and pills.”
“Thanks, but I’ll pass on anything that’s not one hundred percent foolproof. Besides, the fear of getting pregnant isn’t the only thing keeping me celibate.”
“What’s the other thing?”
“Men who are liars and cheaters.”
He thought about her past experience with men. “All men aren’t that way, Taye.”
“But enough of them are.”
He studied her before carefully asking, “Do you think I’m that way?” His voice was relaxed, quiet.
She lowered her head, suddenly interested in the pattern of the tablecloth. “No.”
“Look at me, Taye,” he commanded gently, softly. “I want to see the truth in your eyes when you answer.”
She slowly lifted her eyes to his. Their gazes locked. The air surrounding them nearly crackled with charged intensity. “No, Michael. I don’t think you’re a liar or a cheater.”
He gave her a smile that she thought was utterly charming. “Good. Then you won’t have anything to worry about in regards to me, will you?”
Taye swallowed hard, wishing she could somehow keep up with Michael’s conversation. Somewhere along the way he had lost her. “What do you mean, I don’t have anything to worry about with regards to you?”
“You just admitted you don’t think I’m a liar and a cheater, right?”
“Right.”
“And with me you don’t have to concern yourself with getting pregnant. If you got pregnant from making love with me, it would be OK. I’d like another child anyway.”
Taye frowned as she wondered what that had to do with the cost of tea in China. “This conversation with you is confusing. Why are you telling me that? You and I won’t ever get together that way.”
“Won’t we?”
She tilted her head up. Her eyes were determined. “No, because I won’t let it happen.”
He took a sip of his wine before asking, “Because of the family?”
“Yes.”
Michael nodded, deciding to let the subject rest for now. He then checked his watch. “It’s getting late and I’d like to get at least one dance in before we leave if you don’t mind.”
Taye swallowed hard. She did mind. She didn’t know how she could manage being in his arms. Frantically she tried thinking of an excuse she could give, but nothing would come to mind. “Do we have to dance?”
“I’d think you would want to. You used to enjoy dancing. Besides, tonight is our night for fun, remember?”
Taye sighed and decided not to waste her breath trying to get out of dancing with him since he seemed hell-bent on getting her on the dance floor. When he stood and reached out his hand to her, she took it. In the background she could hear the sound of Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On” starting to play.
Moments later when Michael took her into his arms on the dance floor the turmoil she’d felt all day returned tenfold. She took a deep breath and tried relaxing in his arms as she forced herself to concentrate on the music and not on him. And definitely not the feel of the palm of his hand stroking the center of her back. His caress was soft and gentle and was stirring her senses.
“Say what you want to say, Taye, but there is more between us than overactive hormones. You know it as well as I do. Admit it,” he murmured softly in her ear.
“Michael…I…I can’t. We can’t.”
He reached up and lifted a hand to her neck and slid it down the slender column of her spine with a feather-light stroke. “You can. We will.” He leaned closer and kissed an area under her ear. “Trust me when I say that things will turn out all right,” he added in a soothing voice.
Taye became dazed with the want of him, with the need of him, but still a part of her held back. “It’s not about trust, Michael. It’s about reality and what makes sense.”
She felt the essence of his smile against her cheek. “That’s good to know, sweetheart, because right now you’re my reality and us being together makes perfect sense. But I’ll give you time to digest what I’m saying, Taye. I don’t want you all uptight for the rest of the week because of me. But I won’t give up on you, Octavia Louise Bennett. So don’t think that I will.”
He slowed their movements on the floor to almost a standstill. She shivered as his fingers reached up and touched her cheek. His gaze held hers. It was dark, compelling, intense. Then he slowly bent his head and brushed his lips lightly, affectionately, over hers.
Taye held on to him as she felt her senses spinning out of control. The mere taste of him was hot, sensuous, and male.
He lifted his lips from hers and pulled her closer into his arms as they continued dancing while he trailed small kisses along her neck. “I need you, Taye,” he whispered in her ear. “Kennedy needs you, too. We need both you and the girls.”
Before Marvin Gaye finished his last note, Michael whispered softly in her ear, “And I love you, Taye.”
Taye went still in his arms. She pulled back and looked up at him with disbelief in her eyes. She didn’t want to believe it. She couldn’t believe it.
“Yes, it’s true,” he said, smiling down at her, thinking her shocked expression was priceless, precious. “I came to terms with it last night after I went to bed. Now you have to come to terms with it, too. And when you do, we’ll come up with a plan to deal with our family together.”
Taking her hands, he walked her back over to their table as the Four Tops’ classic “I Can’t Help Myself” began playing.
“She can’t get away with this, Quinn. She can’t!”
Quinn slid the papers into his briefcase before turning to Alexia. He watched as she paced the floor. To say she was mad as hell would be an understatement. As usual, Raisa Forbes was causing problems, but this time she had gone too far.
Court papers had been delivered to Alexia that morning that stated Raisa had filed a lawsuit against her. She was alleging that Alexia’s first solo album, which was due to be released in a few months, contained two songs that Raisa had written. Upon being served the documents, Alexia had called Quinn immediately and asked him to represent her.
Quinn closed his briefcase with a snap. “As your attorney, I’ll take whatever action is needed to get this matter resolved even if I have to file a countersuit for libel and slander.”
He then walked across the room and took Alexia’s hand in his and gently pulled her closer to him. “And as the man in your life, I’ll give you all the support you need in dealing with this. I don’t want you to worry about it, baby. I got your back.” A teasing smile tilted the corners of his lips. “But then I have your front as well, don’t I?” he whispered huskily.
Alexia frowned up at him. “I’m too mad for that right now, Quinn.”
He chuckled softly. “Are you? Let’s see.” He leaned down and captured her mouth with his and immediately ignited a ripple of desire within her. She tried to hold back and then conceded it would be a losing battle. No one kissed like Quinn Masters. And no one could make her become supple and yielding in his arms like Quinn could. Like now. In no time at all she could hear the sounds of her own whimpering and moans as his kiss drove her near the edge of insanity. He reluctantly released her mouth.
“Well, maybe I’m not that mad,” she said breathlessly, her eyes dazed.
Quinn smiled down at her. “Don’t waste your anger on Raisa Forbes. She isn’t worth it.”
“But what about the article that appeared in this morning’s paper? The things she said?”
“You know they aren’t true. What Raisa Forbes is trying to do is make any record company wary of doing business with you in the future. She figures if you can’t get work as a solo artist then you’ll be forced to return to Body and Soul with your tail between your legs.” He pulled her closer to him and whispered, “Little does she know that there’s something a lot more solid and sturdy that’s going between those legs.”
“Quinn!”
He laughed at her shocked expression. “What?”
“Behave.”
He lifted a brow. “Do you really want me to?”
She looked at his sensuous, provocative mouth before moving her gaze lower, to the fly of his pants, thinking of his body part tucked away behind it. Taking a deep breath, she lifted her eyes to meet his gaze as memories of how his mouth and that certain solid and sturdy part of him—the part she did enjoy having between her legs—had nearly driven her insane with passion a number of times over the past four weeks. She felt comfortable in being scandalous with him. Brazen. Naughty. She would even go so far as to say he encouraged that behavior when they were alone. “It wouldn’t do any good to ask you to behave. You wouldn’t do it anyway,” she finally said.
He pulled her to him and kissed her lips again quickly. “I would have surprised you today. Unfortunately, I have a number of appointments scheduled. How about dinner tonight at my place?”
“Your place?”
“Yes. Don’t you think it’s about time?”
Alexia only hesitated briefly before saying, “Yes, I suppose.”
Quinn smiled, perfectly satisfied with her answer. It had been a month since they had first become intimate and she had yet to come over to his place, although he had invited her there a number of times. He was still taking things slow with her. Once in a while she would try putting distance between them. It was during those times that he let her know, in no uncertain terms, that he was not like the other men she’d dated. He had no intentions of putting up with her fickle ways.
He was being patient with her because he understood she didn’t trust easily and that although she had agreed to trust him, it would take time. Having a man in her life who didn’t let her call all the shots was new to her, so he gave her space every once in a while. But he’d made sure she understood that he considered her his woman, just like he considered himself her man.
“Do you want me to come pick you up?”
She shook her head. “No, I’ll drive.”
“All right.” He knew why she wanted to drive herself over to his place and he didn’t like it, although he decided not to push the issue. She had once explained to him that she preferred having her own wheels whenever she went out with someone just in case she felt the need to cut out unexpectedly.
He leaned down and kissed her lips once more before walking back across the room for his briefcase.
“Will you be meeting with Raisa’s attorney sometime today?” she asked him.
“Yes. I’ll call you later and let you know how it goes.” He paused a moment before asking, “Will you walk me to the door?”
She shook her head as she met his gaze. “No. I don’t want you to leave just yet.”
Quinn lifted a brow as Alexia began unbuttoning her skirt. He watched it slide to the floor, leaving her completely bare underneath. His pulse escalated. He knew exactly what she was doing and why. Calling him to come over had made her feel vulnerable, dependent. Those were emotions she detested, since she was used to being in control.
“Alexia,” he warned in a deep, husky voice. “I’m on my way to an appointment and have less than an hour to get there.”
She tossed aside her blouse, then walked completely naked to where he was standing. She reached out and began toying with the zipper on his pants. “Then I guess we’d better make this quick, huh?”
Sucking in a deep breath, Quinn decided to let her have her way with him, giving in to her need for control. Eventually she would see that in a solid relationship no one was in total control.
His mind suddenly lost all thought when he felt her hands, soft and warm, on him. He breathed in deeply when she began stroking him. “Alexia.” He released a tortured sigh as she continued to caress him.
“I want you, Quinn,” she whispered. Her voice, he noted, was deeper and sexier than he’d ever known it to be. He looked at her; their gazes locked. His heart stopped when he saw the look of uncertainty in her eyes. “What’s wrong, baby?”
She shook her head as she continued to look at him, stroke him. “Nothing’s wrong. It’s just that each and every time we do this, I get a little thunderstruck when I’m reminded of what a beautiful man you are, both inside and out, and how unselfish you are in your giving to me. Maybe that’s why I…” She stopped herself from saying whatever she had intended to say.
“Maybe that’s why you what?” Quinn asked quietly as his heart resumed beating double-time. “What was it you were about to say, Alexia?”
She lowered her gaze from his. “Nothing.”
Quinn decided to let it go. He hadn’t yet told her how he felt about her, that he loved her. He wanted to give her time to adjust to his being a part of her life before hitting her with something that deep.
He lost all sense of thought again when she rubbed her body against his. “I want you, Quinn,” she repeated before lifting her hips and sitting on the table behind her and unashamedly spreading her legs wide. “I want you now.” She pulled him between her legs and guided the hardness of him into her moist core.
“Ah, Lex,” Quinn groaned as he penetrated her deep, finding her wet and ready for him. He sucked in another breath when she wriggled her body several times to get comfortable on the edge of the table. He leaned down and pressed a kiss against her lips when she wrapped her legs around him. “You feel so damn good, Lex.” He drew her closer and began to move inside of her. “So damn good.”
At that moment he forgot everything except the woman he was making love to on the table in her breakfast room. Everything about her was an aphrodisiac. Her voice, her body, her scent. Everything. He forced his eyes open to look at her and saw her looking at him with eyes glazed in passion of the richest kind.
“This is crazy, you know,” he said, pulling her closer, going deeper, faster.
She wrapped her arms around his neck. “No, this isn’t crazy,” she whispered raggedly. “This is everything making love should be.” She moved with him, giving him all of herself and putting into her actions what Quinn knew she was not ready to say in words. But eventually the words would come. And when they did, he and Alexia would have a lifetime of loving, of mating, of being one.
“Quinn!”
It was only when he heard her harsh cry and felt her body shudder that he gave in to the hunger that was ravaging his body. He plunged one last time into her with an urgency that shook him. He felt his groin explode, shooting the essence of him into the depths of her. He hollered out his pleasure. He yelled out his satisfaction. He shouted out his release in a way that left him feeling drained and depleted. This woman whom he loved endlessly and intended to marry meant everything to him. She was his world, his heart, his soul, and a part of his body. And right now she held him at the pinnacle of mindless desire and fulfillment. She joined him there, pulling every single thing from out of him.
When he had completely emptied himself inside of her, with what little strength he had left he reached out and gently stroked her cheek. “You did that deliberately, didn’t you?” he asked her, feeling weak, dazed. His gaze traveled the full length of her naked body.
He hadn’t undressed. He hadn’t unfastened a single button on his shirt. He hadn’t even bothered to remove his pants. She hadn’t given him time. The only thing out of place was his zipper, which was down to accommodate the part extended from his body to hers. They were still connected.
She fell back on the table with her eyes closed, her breathing shallow. Moments later her eyes opened slowly and she looked at him and smiled. “Yes. I did that deliberately,” she said, her voice deep, even. “I wanted you to know how I feel whenever you take me spontaneously, unplanned and unconstrained. I wanted to give you a taste of your own medicine. Did I?”
He continued to stroke her cheek, loving her even more and wondering how that was possible. “Yes, you did.”
“And did I please you?”
“Most definitely.” He watch the satisfied look in her eyes and was touched to know that pleasing him meant so much to her. “You may have spoiled me.”
Her smile widened. “The way you’ve spoiled me?”
His hand moved from her cheek and down to her neck, stroking the column there. “Have I done that, Sexy Lexy?” he asked huskily, still holding his gaze to hers and using the pet name he’d given her.
She closed her eyes briefly and shivered. When she reopened them they were filled with both wonder and awe. “Yes, I think you have. You treat me special, Quinn. It’s as if you…”
He watched her. He saw the look of uncertainty in her eyes again. “It’s as if I what?”
She shook her head and answered softly, “Nothing.”
He continued to watch her. “You sure it’s nothing?”
Instead of answering him, she nodded her head.
He pulled her up to him and leaned down and kissed her. She would eventually tell him what had been in her thoughts and on her mind. Time and love would continue to heal her hurt and pain. She was still fighting him even now without fully realizing it. The hurt and pain her ex-husband had caused had gone deep, and the shield around her heart was thick. She saw no other recourse than to fight him to protect herself against ever getting hurt again.
But one day he knew she wouldn’t be able to fight him any longer. And when that time came, when she was ready to commit herself to him and she was ready to accept the love that he had for her and the belief in her heart that he would never hurt her, he would ask her to be his wife.
Alexia slowly opened her eyes. She was naked in bed alone. She glanced over at the clock on her nightstand that indicated the time was a little past two in the afternoon.
Shifting in bed, she remembered Quinn picking her up off the table and carrying her to the bedroom, placing her under the covers. He had kissed her one last time before he’d left, telling her that he would see her at his place tonight for dinner.
She lay still for a moment, willing her body to stop tingling when she thought of the way she had made love to Quinn. On a table, for heaven’s sake! But then, nothing she did with him surprised her anymore. Whenever they were together, he demanded the real Alexia Bennett and would not settle for anyone else.
She inhaled a deep breath. His parting kiss had been deep, sweet. The taste of him still lingered on her tongue. Her body missed his touch. What was there about Quinn that made her want him? Made her want to be a part of him? Made her want to love him?
She resolutely pushed that thought from her mind. Richmond had shown her the hard way what could happen if you left your heart open. But then a part of her knew Quinn was nothing like Richmond. Her ex-husband had used her for his benefit and would still be using her if she hadn’t had the sense to leave. The night she had left him she had decided she had been manipulated and used for the very last time.
Alexia levered herself up on her elbows and stared at the wall. She had been doing a pretty good job of protecting herself until Quinn came along. Quinn Masters, who had the strength of steel, the stubbornness of a bull, and more kindness than any man had a right to show, had slowly eased his way into her heart. And just to think she had thought he was arrogant. Quinn wasn’t arrogant, just confident. He had been confident in his ability to win her over by being a totally different type of man than she’d ever had to deal with before. He had also won her respect. There was something about him that demanded it. He had somehow found a way to conquer the heart of a woman who was afraid to let go of the past and love again.
But then, she conceded, he was making it easy for her to want to let go and love again by making her feel wanted, cherished, and loved.
Alexia shifted her gaze from the wall upward to the ceiling. There were different degrees of love. She believed that Quinn loved being with her and that he loved making love to her. But could she believe that he loved her? The way a man was supposed to love a woman, in the true essence of the word? Especially now that she knew she had fallen in love with him?