A Family This Christmas (5 page)

But she didn’t wake up. No, instead she snuggled in closer, causing his lungs to stall and his muscles to tighten. All of them. Yeah, even that one. Now, there was a surprise. It did still work. Even when it shouldn’t.

Why did the spare bedroom have to be furthest from the lounge? His strides lengthened. Another of those cute little snores and warm air touched his chest through his shirt. Oh, hell. How was a man supposed to remain sane and responsible? How was his libido supposed to behave? There was a question he’d be wise not to dwell on. What was it about Jenny that had him waking up when he hadn’t been the slightest bit interested in sex since before Margaret had left?

Almost dropping Jenny onto the bed, he dragged the covers over her, not bothering to remove any outer clothes—he didn’t do stepping into lions’ dens—and backed out of the room so fast he nearly tripped. Closing the door, he sagged against the wall and berated himself for a full five minutes. Thankfully swearing silently didn’t count in the house rules. Not when the boys weren’t in the same room as him anyway. If they had been he’d be coughing up buckets of cash in fines, not banking every spare dollar for their university fees in ten years’ time.

Note to self:
check how those investment funds he’d started for the boys were doing. And tell his hormones to take a hike. Jenny was off limits.

* * *

The next morning Cam watched the boys place a plate of toast and a cup of tea on the bedside table with all the finesse of a calf wallowing in mud. ‘Okay, say goodbye and go get your school bags, you two.’

Jenny gave each boy the benefit of her big smile. ‘Breakfast in bed. How decadent. Thank you so much, Andrew. Thank you so much, Marcus.’

She never roped both boys into the one thanks or compliment. No, she singled each of them out. The boys’ biggest gripe about being twins was that everyone spoke to them as though they were one unit. Everyone except Jenny. ‘Are you a twin?’

Instantly the light in her eyes snapped off. Her hands clenched into fists before she slid them under the covers. Her bottom lip trembled.

Every swear word he could think of slammed into his brain. Now what had he started? It had seemed an innocuous question.

Marcus’s eyes lit up. ‘Are you like us? Where’s your sister? Or brother? Doesn’t she want to be with you?’

Ice entered the room. Cam could feel his skin chilling and goosebumps rising. If he thought he’d seen desolation in her eyes yesterday, he didn’t have a word to describe the shock, agony and the bewilderment darkening that summer green of her eyes to winter’s darkest day.

‘Out. Go get your bags and wait on the deck.’ With a hand on their backs he nudged the boys towards the door, holding back the urge to rush them away before they added to his monumental blunder—whatever that was. ‘Go. Now,’ he growled, knowing this was his fault, not theirs, but needing them to do as he said quickly and quietly.

Maybe the frozen atmosphere of the bedroom had touched them, too, because they tiptoed away, glancing back over their shoulders with worried expressions on their faces. He gave a wave, hopefully reassuring, and turned back to the woman he’d obviously just knocked for a six.

‘I apologise for putting my size elevens in my mouth, but you’re so good with the boys the way you treat them as individuals and not as a double package that I figured you might know what it’s like to be a twin. I never meant to upset you, but it seems I’ve done so in a big way.’ Stop burbling on and on. But he needed to see that tension ease, to raise the tiniest of smiles on those now white lips. ‘You are really, really good with my boys. It comes naturally to you.’

Her chest rose and fell sharply, quickly, continuously.

And finally he shut up except to say, ‘Take a deep breath.’

It took a few attempts but eventually Jenny had her lungs under control. But not her eyes. They hadn’t lightened, or met his gaze, or even blinked.

Leaning down, he tugged one of her hands free of the cover and wrapped it in both of his. It was cold. And shaking. Cam sat on the edge of the bed and held tight, his thumb rubbing gentle circles over the back of her hand. Slowly, slowly the quivering slowed, but didn’t stop entirely.

Then Jenny pulled free and sat back against the pillows. ‘Alison.’

Did he acknowledge her? Or would that start another episode of what he’d just witnessed? If he remained silent she might think he was deliberately ignoring her. He spoke as softly as he could manage. ‘Your twin?’

Her head dipped. ‘She died.’

He’d been getting to that. Her reaction had to have meant more than a sisterly fallout. ‘I’m sorry. I can’t begin to imagine how that must feel.’

‘Stop apologising.’

‘What?’

‘You’ve been saying sorry ever since we met on the footpath. You don’t need to.’

That had nothing to do with her sister. Probably her coping mechanism kicking into force. Jenny could relax about that. He wasn’t about to jump in and ask the big questions about how, why, where. Hell, he wasn’t going ask what she wanted sent from the bakery for her lunch. He’d bring something of his choice. ‘Deal. No more apologies. Now drink your tea before it’s totally cold.’

‘Anyone ever tell you you’re bossy?’

‘The tw—’ Swallow. ‘Marcus and Andrew. All the time.’ He handed her the cup and tried not to notice how much it shook in her two-handed grasp.

‘Go. They’ll be wondering why you’re taking so long.’ Colour was returning to her face at last.

Note to self:
do not mention her twin sister at all ever again.

CHAPTER FIVE

J
ENNY
WANTED
TO
throw up. No one in all the months she’d spent on the road had asked if she had a family, let alone if she was a twin.

She sipped the lukewarm tea and bit into the heavily buttered toast the boys had made her. Hopefully that would settle her stomach faster than holding her breath or plain old wishing the nausea away could.

If her foot hadn’t been aching and throbbing and difficult to manoeuvre she’d have been tempted to catch a bus out of town, away from intrusive questions and prying eyes. Cam missed nothing. He’d seen each and every one of her emotions when he’d asked that question. He’d known instantly he’d made a big mistake, probably even had an inkling as to why. At least he hadn’t gone all effusive on her. That would’ve caused her stomach to do what she was so far managing to prevent.

‘Yes, I am a twin, who failed her other half. Yes, I totally get what it’s like to have people put me and my twin into the same pigeonhole. We were born identical, shared a birth date and parents, had the same passion for hiking in the bush, but that’s where the similarities ended.’

Just like Marcus and Andrew. Already she could see differences. They both liked playing cricket in the yard, but Marcus preferred bowling, concentrating with everything he had to bowl the perfect ball, while Andrew just wanted to slog the ball as far as possible with no thought to where it might land in relation to the lone fieldsman, being their dad, or to the house windows.

Their dad. Cam, or Cameron Roberts, as he’d introduced himself. An enigma. He loved his kids massively yet often seemed to be cross with them for very little reason. The guy needed to loosen up.

Ha! Like she could talk. Loose did not describe her at all. In any connotation. A wound-up rubber band was getting close. Wind it too tight and it might snap.

Not only had her life come to a crashing halt in Havelock, having time on her hands was already forcing her to face things she’d had no intention of facing. There’d been some fun moments on this journey—like the beach at Whangamata where she and Alison had once given surfing a go. Neither of them had had the aptitude required to stay on a board long enough to ride a wave. This time she’d taken a surfing lesson, but had still bombed out. No doubt Alison had been laughing down at her.

Throwing the covers aside, she gingerly lowered her feet to the floor and stood up. Sucked in a breath and held onto it until the sharp jolt of pain faded.

After trying to juggle the cup and plate and use the crutches, she gave up, headed for the bathroom instead. She’d think of a way to take the cup and plate out to the kitchen later. Right now a shower was on the menu.

With Cam’s usual thoughtfulness a large plastic bin liner and a roll of tape were on the sink top, and a stool had been placed strategically by the shower, with a towel folded neatly on top. He’d also placed her bathroom bag with her shampoo and conditioner beside the shower door.

She could get used to this. Cam was so caring. She wondered what had gone wrong with his marriage.

With her leg in the tightly taped bag, she hobbled under the jets of hot water and luxuriated in the heat pummelling her. Her body ached from top to toe from the thumping it had received when she’d hit the ground like a sack of spuds. Tipping her head back, she let the water saturate her hair then lathered in shampoo, at last returning the tangled mess to its silky texture. Now she felt half-human again. If only everything else needed to fix her problems came in a plastic bottle with a squeeze top.

* * *

Who knew that having a shower, getting dressed and making the bed could take so long? It was nearly lunchtime and Jenny stood at the kitchen bench with a cup of tea and pulled a face at the enticing sun-drenched deck. She wanted to be out there, drinking this, not standing here unable to move without her crutches.

Instead she turned to focus on the cork board next to the fridge. Covered in photos, school messages, party invitations and sports timetables, it gave her an insight into the Roberts family’s day-to-day life. In a word—busy. And happy. In every photo one or all three of the males who lived in this house beamed out at the world.

‘Big tick for you, Cam. You’re obviously doing lots of things right with those two.’

Her heart squeezed. He was a great dad. His doctoring skills weren’t shabby either. He’d been gentle and careful with her ankle, had asked the right questions. As for anything else, his long, lean body was pretty good, too, in great shape, if she dared to think about it.

Then there was that astute mind that picked up on vibes far too quickly. He didn’t miss a trick. All in all, he added up to a very intriguing package. She hugged herself.

Don’t go there,
insisted a very familiar little voice in her head.

Finishing her tea, she carefully made her way out to the deck and dropped onto a wooden chair, breathed in the warmth and quiet.

Now what? She should’ve checked out that bookshelf to see if there was anything she could read. Even a mechanic’s manual would be better than having nothing to distract her. Except she couldn’t see Cam with his head under a bonnet. Though why not, she had no idea. Understanding men hadn’t been one of her strong points.

‘Hey, you’re up and about.’ Cam stepped onto the deck and stopped, his throat working overtime.

When the moment had stretched out too long and he obviously hadn’t found his voice she asked, ‘Has a bird left its calling card on my head?’ Couldn’t be food on her face. She hadn’t eaten since her shower.

He swallowed hard. ‘Yep, must’ve been a turkey from the size of the mess.’

Instinctively she ran her hand over her head and felt stupid for doing it, knowing he’d been teasing, or hiding something.

Cam held up two bulging paper bags. ‘Lunch courtesy of the bakery.’

‘Yum. I looked in their window on Saturday and everything looked very enticing.’

‘Your hair is beautiful.’ Then he disappeared inside to the kitchen.

Aha. That’s what the throat movements had been about. He’d been stumped by her shocking red hair. No doubt the sun was highlighting all the tones and her head would be looking the colour of a cooked lobster. She called after him, ‘I’m easily found in a crowd, that’s for sure.’

‘You don’t like it?’ Surprise registered on his face as he popped his head out of the kitchen window. ‘Or is it that you don’t like standing out in said crowd?’

As she’d said, too damned astute for his own good. ‘I tried blonde once. Had lots more fun.’

A quick flick of those lips into a brief smile. ‘Redheads don’t have fun?’ he asked.

Did he want to know if she was into fun? ‘Definitely not. We’re very serious people.’ There was no stopping the grin splitting her mouth wide. Cam had some magic power that made her smile more than she had in for ever.

‘But they drive fast sports cars.’ He approached with plates, glasses of juice and the bags from the bakery. ‘Bread rolls with smoked chicken and cranberry salad okay with you?’

‘Just what I was about to ring out for.’

‘So, how’s that foot?’

She watched as he bit into his roll, noticing for the first time what perfect, white teeth he had.
So what? They’re teeth. Everyone has them.
But not everyone’s teeth had her wondering how it would feel to be nibbled on her breasts or down her stomach.

‘Jenny? A guy could be insulted with the number of times you go space tripping around him.’

Oh, I’m not insulting you, believe me
. ‘The foot’s doing as well as expected. In other words, it’s not ready to play football or do a tango. It does complain quite sharply at any sudden movement but, hey, we’re still getting along.’

He shook his head at her. ‘You are something, you know that?’

There really wasn’t an answer to that. She bit into her lunch. ‘How’s your day going? Lots of patients?’

‘The usual run of blood-pressure tabs, antihistamine scripts and general health checks. We’re rarely rushed off our feet at this centre.’ Was that longing in his eyes? ‘But then there are the days when an emergency throws everything up in the air, and around here those tend to be messy.’

‘You ever miss the busier practice in Wellington?’

‘Do I?’ He chewed thoughtfully. ‘You know, I’ve been too busy making sure the boys get established in their new life and are happy to stop and think about it. Two friends from med school and I started that practice. We were doing very well. Then one day Greg went for a run after work and had a massive coronary on the side of the road.’

‘He didn’t make it?’ It was a reminder that other people had bad stuff happen to them and didn’t run away.

‘Yes, he did. But it was a huge wake-up call. Sometimes we seemed to be working more hours than we had in the ED as interns. We brought in more partners, but it was never the same. So the long answer is, no, I don’t miss that particular practice. Though I now work so far at the other end of the stress scale I’m almost horizontal.’

‘Yeah, right. That explains the shadows under your eyes.’

‘I knew I’d forgotten something. Didn’t put any make-up on this morning.’

Had his wife disliked the slow pace of Havelock? She wasn’t asking. Instead she tried, ‘Where do the boys go after school?’ Maybe she could look after them until Cam got home.

‘Amanda, the mother of one of their friends, takes them. She also takes their swimming lessons.’

Disappointment tugged at her. Of course he’d have everything organised. He hadn’t been waiting for her to fall into his life to help out. ‘Does she look after the boys in the school holidays, too?’

‘No. They go to my parents on the farm. They love it out there so much it’s always a battle to bring them home at the start of term.’

Parents.
Parents.
She missed her mum and dad. They understood what she was doing and why. Didn’t they?

Cam stood up. ‘Time I headed to Blenheim. Anything you want before I go?’

‘No, I’m fine, thanks.’
Oh, for pity’s sake, it won’t hurt to ask a favour of him.
Swallow. ‘Um, you couldn’t get my tablet for me, could you?’

‘Of course.’ He looked puzzled that she had to ask. ‘Where is it?’

‘At the bottom of my bag.’ Which meant he’d have to dig through all her clothes, including her underwear. If he even found her slightly attractive he’d only have to remember the boring, plain white knickers and bras he’d find there and he’d sober up fast.

Within minutes Cam had placed a bottle of iced water, some fruit and her tablet on the table beside her. He added a notepad with his email address at the top. ‘In case you need anything.’

A hug wouldn’t go astray. Gulp. What? A hug? Why?

Because she felt a wee bit lonely right now. Being forced to stay put so wasn’t helping her cause. Instead she was doing stupid things, like considering emailing Mum and Dad and telling them where she was and how she’d managed to end up here when usually she only said enough for them to know she was still alive and kicking.

A deep breath and her shoulders went back. ‘Hopefully, I won’t be annoying you. Have a good afternoon, and I’ll see you later.’

A finger lifted her chin and knowing brown eyes locked with hers. ‘Believe me, an hour after we get home you’ll be wishing for the peace and quiet again. School doesn’t tire my boys. Instead, it winds them up even more.’

‘They’re like those battery bunnies from the TV ads.’

‘Sometimes I wish I could just take out their batteries.’ Cam’s thumb slid across her chin before he dropped his hand to his side.

If she hadn’t known better she’d have said it had been a caress. But she did know better. Cam had enough on his plate to deal with, without having the time or the need to be caressing her. ‘Cam?’ When she had his complete attention again she said, ‘I really appreciate all you’ve done for me. Don’t say you have to either, because you don’t.’

‘My lips are sealed.’

Her
lips tipped up into a smile. ‘Why did you bring me into your home?’

‘My lips are sealed.’

Lips. Cam’s lips. What would they feel like on hers? She watched as he stepped off the deck and headed for the front of the house without a backward glance. This whole scenario was alien to her, and yet it was tugging her in, wrapping around her, making her feel comfortable for brief moments of time. She tapped the tablet into life.

Hi Mum and Dad. That’s great news about your trip to Sydney in the New Year.

This was where she’d normally sign off. But her fingers kept tapping the keys.

I am currently in Havelock. It’s a quaint little town on the Pelorus Sound, famous for the green-lipped mussels grown in the sounds and packaged here at a small factory.

She stared out across the lawn to the hills beyond the Sound. According to her hiking book there were some walking tracks over there. Not that she’d been planning on doing any of those as she hadn’t intended stopping here for longer than it took to eat lunch. But now she’d love the opportunity.

Mum, Dad, don’t panic but I’ve broken my ankle. A silly little accident that has rendered me next to useless for a few days. The local doctor has kindly put me up until I’m ready to move on.

She chuckled. That made Cam sound old and avuncular.

He has two boys he’s bringing up on his own. They’re just adorable. Sigh. That’s about it this time. Love you both heaps, Jenny.

She didn’t hesitate, touched Send, and the longest email she’d written in a year headed off into cyberspace.

* * *

‘Jenny, where are you?’

‘We’re home. Are you better?’

No way could she tell the twins apart by their voices. ‘Hi, guys. I’m on the couch with a cat. Who does it belong to?’ The black and white moggy had made itself very comfortable on her thighs an hour ago and she hadn’t had the heart to send it packing.

‘That’s Socks. She lives at Mrs Warner’s house, but Dad says we feed her more times.’

One boy appeared by the couch. Andrew? Fingers crossed she’d got it right, she said, ‘Socks is quite heavy, isn’t she? Andrew, can you lift her off so I can shift my legs?’

‘Okay.’