“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you like I did. But what you gave me, I needed it. Thank you.”
He pushed himself off the bed and away from her. He’d almost lost control tonight. He could have really hurt her and she was thanking him for it.
A pained grimace pinched her face as she tried to sit up.
“Lie down. I’m going to get something for those marks.”
“It’s okay. I like—”
“The bruises. I’m aware of that. I still need to treat your skin. Lie. Down.” He gave her a look that said he meant business then headed into the bathroom.
After he located a jar of salve he leaned over the sink and stared into the mirror.
What are you doing?
His reflection didn’t have an answer for him. The truth was he had no idea what he was doing. He’d always been so tightly controlled. At that moment, he couldn’t have felt further from it. She was getting to him, his little submissive, chipping away at his carefully constructed layer of ice. He had to put a stop to it now, before someone got hurt.
He sighed, tearing his eyes away from the stranger who stared back at him, and washed his face. The cool water refreshed him enough that he was ready to face her again. He dampened a washcloth with warm water then grabbed the salve and returned to the bedroom. The jute was sitting at the foot of the bed in a neat bundle. Genevieve was curled on her side fast asleep. She looked so small, so fragile.
His resolve crumbled.
She was his, this strange and beautiful creature lying on his bed. A little broken, a bit damaged, and so much like him. It was his job to care for her. He’d worry about the consequences later.
Quietly, he crept onto the bed next to her. Using the warm washcloth, he wiped the semen from her then set it aside. Next he lightly smoothed the salve into her abused skin. She whimpered softly but didn’t wake. She would definitely feel the effects of the caning tomorrow and likely for days to come. The marks were vivid and already forming dark-purple bruises. He should have felt guilty. Shamefully, he didn’t. His cock stirred at the beautifully brutal sight. Already he wanted her again, but couldn’t bring himself to wake her. She needed rest. She’d been through enough for one night.
He placed the salve on the night table then eased Genevieve under the covers. When she was safely tucked in, he curled up behind her, pulling her small body against his. His entire being relaxed. For once, he didn’t attempt to make excuses for the profound sense of contentment he felt with Genevieve in his arms. He was too tired to put any more thought to it and simply let himself drift to sleep.
* * * * *
Something feathered across Genevieve’s shoulder. She nestled deeper into her pillow, determined to ignore whatever it was. She loved to sleep and hated interruptions with a murderous passion. Then her nipple ignited, tingling with the most amazing sensation. Now that might be something worth her attention. With a sleepy moan she shifted closer to the source of her pleasure. Moist heat engulfed her other nipple as a tongue swirled around it, pebbling the peak. Arousal flooded her with liquid warmth and she opened her eyes. The muted light from the moon bathed her seducer in pale hues.
Brian.
He released her nipple and gazed down at her with sleep-heavy eyes. He didn’t say anything, but then he didn’t need to. His eyes alone held her captive. She was so spellbound she was afraid to move. He trailed his fingertips along her collarbone, exploring the curves and hollows. Small shivers danced across her skin in the wake of his touch. He continued to the valley between her breasts and over her abdomen. He finally reached her mound, dipping between the folds and searching out her clit. Plucking the nub, he sent little shocks ricocheting through her body all the way to her toes.
His warm body slid over hers, pressing her into the mattress—his weight comforting rather than oppressive. He wedged a knee between her thighs, coaxing her to open for him. She spread wide in invitation. The thick head of his cock teased the sensitive lips of her pussy, which were already impossibly wet. Her entire core throbbed with want. She needed to feel him inside her, filling her. Why did he insist on teasing her like this?
She couldn’t wait another second and raised her pelvis, attempting to give him better access. But Brian, always the one to control the pace, moved just out of her reach. She whimpered in frustration.
“Shh,” he whispered.
He ran his hands along her arms, sending a wave of goose bumps over her skin. When he reached her hands, he twined his fingers with hers and stretched them over her head. Holding her firmly in place, he brushed his lips over hers, kissing her softly. Her swollen lip throbbed slightly from the gentle pressure. She didn’t care. She wanted to lean in to him, plunge her tongue into his mouth and let him know how hungry she was for him. Injured lip be damned. Instead, she closed her eyes and surrendered. There was no point in trying to rush him. Brian did things in his own time. She knew that by now.
A small moan slipped from her as he deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue along hers, caressing every surface of her mouth. He’d never kissed her this way before, tender and erotic, as if he cherished her. This was not something shared by two people who were simply Dominant and submissive. It was so much more than that, intimate in a way that made Gen ache in places she had no business aching. She’d never felt so connected to another person in all her life. She belonged to this man completely, heart and soul.
Oh god, I love him.
Before she had the chance to panic at her sudden realization, he stunned all her senses and sank the head of his cock into her channel. He eased in, stretching her inch by blessed inch. Nothing had ever felt as right as this. He nudged her cervix, sending an almost painful bolt of pleasure surging through her. His mouth still played at hers. She felt invaded on all fronts and powerless to fight it.
Smooth and languid, he thrust in and out, stroking the walls of her pussy and inflaming every cell in her body. A ball of heat gathered in her belly as each thrust brought his pelvis against her clit. She trembled beneath him, grasping for something, anything to keep her grounded, but it was hopeless. The slow, sensual way he made love to her shattered every barrier she’d erected between them.
Tell me you love me. Tell me I’m yours.
She was such a fool. She would never hear those words. Not from him. He’d told her as much.
Instead he murmured, “Come for me” against her lips.
And though her heart ached, she came. She clenched and pulsed around him as a gentle wave of ecstasy washed over her. Not an explosion, but a slow burn that threatened to consume her. Brian stiffened, squeezing her hands as he followed her over the edge. He drew out their climaxes with several measured thrusts before he stilled, a deep groan escaping him. His cock jerked inside her, sending tremors of pleasure radiating through her pussy. When he was finally spent, he relaxed on top of her. He stayed that way for one long, wonderful moment. Gen barely had time to enjoy it before he withdrew. He kissed her sweetly. Before he could withdraw his affection, she excused herself and went to the bathroom.
How was she going to pretend she wasn’t in love with him? Was it even possible for her to do that? Maybe. She was good at hiding her feelings. After all, she’d been doing it for more than a decade where her mother was concerned. But this was Brian, a man who could look through her as if she were made of glass. She would have to become a better actress because being without him wasn’t an option she could even bring herself to think about. She was sure it would be infinitely more agonizing than pretending she didn’t love him.
Vacant and miserable, she returned and climbed into bed. She held her breath and waited, wondering if he’d ignore her and go to sleep. Or worse, tell her to get dressed and send her home. A half-choked sob caught in her throat as he pulled her to him, spooning her from behind and wrapping an arm around her middle. She sighed, covering the small lapse, and settled into his warmth. Maybe she didn’t need him to love her. Maybe this would be enough.
The afternoon sun blazed overhead as Gen shifted in her beach chair. Sweat dripped down between her shoulder blades, making the calm waters of the Gulf look more inviting by the minute.
“It’s too bloody hot,” Ivy complained. “Honestly, you Yanks must have water in your veins.”
Gen kicked sand at Ivy’s feet. “If you can’t handle it then take your limey ass back across the pond.”
A very tan, very fit and very hot young guy glided by them on a skimboard. He flashed them a smile that was all dimples.
“And miss this view? Not a chance. You have everything sorted for your big holiday?”
“I guess.”
“Are you sure you’ve changed your mind about having me look in on your mum?”
“I’m positive.”
“That’s a big step for you.”
“I know, but she’s an adult and perfectly capable of taking care of herself. I can’t keep enabling her. We had a long talk. Well, I did most of the talking. She sneered and laid on the guilt extra thick in typical Emily fashion.”
“Guilt is a talent mums must develop when we’re in the womb. So what did you talk about?”
“I told her I was only going to stop by once in a while and strictly to visit. She’s going to have to be responsible for her own housekeeping and bills until she decides to get help. I even brought her some brochures for recovery houses in the area.”
“I’m sure that went well.”
“About as well as I expected—lots of denial and another heaping round of guilt. But…I can’t lie to myself about it anymore. It doesn’t help her and it doesn’t help me. She’s an addict. There’s just no getting around it.”
Ivy reached over and gave her arm a squeeze. “I’m proud of you, and I’m not saying that to be patronizing.”
“I just hope I’m doing the right thing.”
“You are. Now try not to worry about it or you’ll drive yourself mad. You should focus on all the beautiful men you’ll see in South Beach the day after tomorrow instead,” Ivy said, standing. “Ready for a swim?”
“Way ahead of you.” There was only one beautiful man Gen would be focused on. She slipped on her board shorts then raced to the water and plunged in. The instant cooling effect was exactly what she needed.
Ivy’s gaze narrowed as she joined her. “Since when do you wear trousers in the water?”
Gen shrugged. Leave it to Ivy to notice that little detail. The reason was simple. Her bikini bottom did little to hide the bruises decorating her ass. Bruises no one could see while her butt was parked in a chair. Prancing through the sand in a two-piece bathing suit was another story. How did one explain cane marks? She didn’t mind Ivy seeing them. Advertising her bedroom activities to the rest of Madeira Beach was not a good idea. She could only imagine what the other beach-goers would think.
“Ah, you have bruises. I must say, I’m a bit jealous. Are you ever going to give me the details about your sordid affair with our distinguished boss? I’m starting to think you don’t trust me.”
A pang of guilt tightened Gen’s chest. She bobbed in the gentle swells, allowing the motion to lull her rising anxiety. She’d withheld the context of her relationship from Ivy because the truth was too hard to face. “I trust you.”
“Go on then, spit it out. What’s going on with you two?”
Gen had no idea how to explain it to Ivy. She had a hard enough time explaining it to herself. Somewhere along the way the carefully drawn lines of her arrangement with Brian had blurred. A few weeks had passed since the first night she’d stayed over at his place. More often than not, her bed remained cold and untouched in favor of a less lonely, more luxurious one. All it took was one little text and she would end up at his house so he could have his perverted way with her. Usually that meant intricately tying her up, spanking her ass scarlet for an insolent look or sarcastic tone then fucking her into complete oblivion. All in all, not a bad arrangement.
Sleeping over was supposed to be merely a convenience. Her secret was that it had become the thing she cherished most about their time together. Not that she didn’t love the rest of it, she did. But when she fell asleep with his arms wrapped around her, she could almost pretend he loved her too.
“I don’t need to remind you that you can’t tell anyone about this, do I?”
Ivy glared at her.
“Okay, okay. I haven’t signed a contract or anything. We did negotiate an agreement though.”
“Go on.”
“The sex is… Well, great would be an understatement.”
“That good?”
Gen grinned.
“I knew it. Wait a minute. I thought you said he was a jerk?”
Gen rolled her eyes. “I only said that because he’s strict. He doesn’t let me get away with
anything
. Oh and he’s arrogant, which really gets under my skin sometimes. Needless to say, my mouth gets me in trouble a lot.”
Ivy laughed. “I believe it.”
“It’s just kink though. He doesn’t want anything beyond that.”
“And you’re okay with that?”
Gen blanked her face as best she could. “I’m fine with it.”
“Now, that bit? I don’t believe.”
“I’m perfectly capable of having a no-strings relationship and being happy with it. Thank you very much.”
Ivy looked doubtful. “I’m starving. I say we head back to your flat and have a sandwich or two. We can finish our little chat then.” That meant Ivy was about to give her an earful of something she probably didn’t want to hear. Great.
“Cheese and pickle?” Gen asked hopefully.
“Have you known me to make anything else?”
“Lead the way.”
They gathered their belongings and went back to her apartment. The cool air-conditioning was a welcome relief. Gen tossed her bag on the couch, went straight for the fridge and grabbed a can of diet cola. She might need something stronger for this conversation, but soda would have to do.
“You want me to put the kettle on?” Gen asked.
“It’s too hot for tea and besides, I want nothing to do with that sad little box of expired Earl Grey you have in your cupboard.”
“Expired?” Gen checked the label. Damn, the date was more than a year past its expiration. She guiltily flashed to the cup she’d served to Chris all those weeks ago. He hadn’t seemed to notice or maybe he’d just been too polite to say anything. She chucked the box in the trash. She’d never been much of a tea drinker anyway.
“I’ll just have what you’re having.”
Gen grabbed another soda from the fridge and set it down on the table. Ivy went to work slicing thick rectangles of sharp cheddar cheese then smearing chunky brown pickle onto pieces of crusty bread. Gen had no idea why it was called pickle in the UK. It didn’t even remotely resemble what she considered a pickle. It was closer to a funky-smelling, brown chutney. Damn good on cheese sandwiches though. After Ivy had finished slapping lunch together, she set the plates on the table and took a seat across from Gen.
“You’re so good to me.” Gen took a big, satisfying bite. Weird flavors assaulted her mouth. A bit of sweetness, the sharp tang of vinegar and a few things she couldn’t place—all blended with the creaminess of good cheddar cheese and fresh bread. Somehow it worked. Ivy was always forcing strange British foods on her but this was one she actually happened to like.
“Flattery won’t get you out of this conversation. So tell me, what makes you think you’ll be happy simply being Brian’s submissive?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I know you, or are you forgetting that?”
Gen sighed and popped the top on her can of diet soda. “I’m fine with it. Really. Emotions make things messy and complicated. I’m not much of a romantic anyway. It’s kind of nice knowing exactly where I stand with him. There’s no stress. No expectations beyond obedience. It’s actually a relief.”
Ivy set her sandwich down and looked squarely at Gen. “You’re in love him already, aren’t you?”
“I’m not in love with him.”
“Admit it.”
“No. I’m not in love with him.”
“Oh come on. You have that disgustingly awful, I’m-so-besotted-I’m-drawing-hearts-around-our-initials look whenever you talk about him.”
“Okay fine. Let’s just say, hypothetically mind you, that I’m in love with him. It would actually work against me in my current situation.”
“Do I want to hear this bit?”
“Probably not, but I’ll tell you anyway. He said right up front that he wants strictly dominance and submission. Nothing more. He’s not interested in a girlfriend or love or sappy sentiments.”
“And you agreed to this?”
“At the time I didn’t think it would be a problem. Hot, dominating sex, no strings attached, sounded exactly like what I needed. He’s not the type of guy I’d have ever pictured myself in love with. I mean we’re nothing alike, complete opposites.”
Gen’s cell phone chirped, alerting her to an incoming text.
My place, 8 p.m. Don’t disappoint me by being late.
B.
“That him?”
“Yes. He wants to see me tonight.”
“Hmm.” Ivy tapped the side of her mug with a perfectly manicured nail. “Let’s see if I have the right of it. He has you quite literally at his beck and call. You obey his every whim, love is against the rules and you can’t talk to anyone about it but me. I’d say he’s set himself up rather brilliantly, wouldn’t you?”
“It’s not like that.”
“Then what’s it like? Enlighten me.”
Gen melted into her chair with a sigh. “It’s intense. He’s nothing like any of the Doms I’ve played with before. BDSM isn’t a game to him. Dom isn’t some persona he puts on when he goes to a club on weekends. He’s the real thing, Ivy. We don’t role-play. He doesn’t stage elaborate scenes. There’s a real sense of power exchange with him. It colors everything we do. The tone of voice he uses when we’re together makes it impossible for me to defy him. I actually want to submit to him. And oh god, the man can wield a cane. No one has ever made me feel the way he does. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted.”
“Not everything.”
“Yeah well, it doesn’t matter what I want. Love isn’t part of the agreement.”
“What a load of bullshit. He doesn’t deserve you.”
“I wish that were true.”
“It is true. You deserve someone who loves you. Not someone who simply uses and abuses you when it suits him. Although the using and abusing part is probably fantastic. Still jealous about that. But not the point. The point is you deserve the whole lot.”
Gen gave a weak smile. “Thank you for saying that.”
“I think your first description was spot on. The man’s a complete and utter jerk.”
“He’s not though. That’s the problem.”
Ivy shook her head.
“What?”
“Only you would be stubborn and defiant enough to fall in love with the one man who tells you not to. What are you going to do?”
“Nothing. I can’t tell him, obviously. It would ruin everything.”