A Flicker of Light (9 page)

“Klaus goes out sometimes; do you know where?” Petra asked as she patted Daisy, who had laid her head on Petra’s lap.

“Oh, not to worry, child, I think maybe he goes to play cards with his men friends. I never worry myself with these things. I have you
,
and soon we will have the baby too, eh?”

“Yes, soon,” Petra said, and she shivered, pulling her sweater tighter.
Siegland
saw the look of concern on Petra’s face and thought she might be anxious about giving birth.

“Are you afraid to have a baby? Don’t be scared. I will be there with you the whole time, and I will help you. You will see. It will be just fine.”

Chapter 8

S

till, Petra could not help but wonder where Klaus went on his nighttime trips. Most times he would arrive back at the farm well into the wee hours, but once in a while he did not return until the following morning. Surely it could not be another woman. Petra could not imagine Klaus taking a lover. And since
Siegland
seemed unconcerned, Petra tried not to worry. Although, on th
e occasions when Klaus returned
late the following morning
,
Petra could see that
Siegland
was nervous and uneasy.

One day,
Siegland
presented Petra with a box that contained an entire wardrobe for the baby. “I made everything yellow because we don’t know if it will be a boy or a girl,” she said shyly. “I hope that is all right.”

“I feel like I can never say it enough, but once again
,
I thank you and Klaus. You have been like family to me, even more than my own family. Never before has anyone treated me so kindly. I will always be indebted to you for everything.” Petra hugged
Siegland
and planted a kiss on her cheek.

Then one evening as they sat by the fire enjoying cheese strudel and tea, Klaus turned to the women and smiled. “I have a surprise for you both,” he said. With a wink of his eye and a quick step, he left the room and went down to the barn. For several minutes the two looked at each other, wondering what the surprise might be. Finally, Klaus returned carrying a lovely
hand-carved blond wooden cradle,
“I made this for the baby.”

Klaus had expertly carved the crib, inlaying the shapes of little ducklings walking with a mother duck, each wearing small bows around their necks. There could be no doubt this project could only be the result of long hours of tedious labor. Built as a rocker, the bed would be a great help when the little one did not want to sleep.

“I am so touched, Klaus. It is so beautiful! Th
ank you! I hardly expected this.
” Petra walked over and kissed the older man’s forehead. Moisture gathered in her eyes. “You are both so kind. I am so fortunate to have found you both.”

“Oh, don’t even mention it. Please, you embarrass us,”
Siegland
protested.

Nighttime tormented Petra with yearning for Hans. After
she had retired to her room
, she found herself thinking of
him. Sometimes she allowed herself to become lost in a depressing cloud of loneliness. It was true, finding
Siegland
and Klaus had been a blessing, and she adored Daisy too, but even so, Petra missed her lover. Most of the time, she could push the painful thoughts away. Instead, she would think about the baby.  But on one dismal night she could not. Unable to sleep, she went into the living room to sit in the rocking chair and look out the window at the farm. As she sat alone in the darkness with a heavy blanket around her shoulders, she allowed herself the indulgence of tears. Petra had fought her sorrow bravely, but in her heart she felt sure that Hans’ passing meant the end of love for her forever.
Siegland
heard the quiet rocking of the chair on the wooden floor and came out to see if Petra was all right.

“What is this? You are crying?”

“I’m sorry. Forgive me. I… 
Siegland
, I miss Hans. I thought that things would be different. I believed that we would be married with a child, and now he’s gone, dead.”

“Oh sweet child, come here.” Taking Petra into her arms, the older woman held her, brushing the hair out of her eyes.

“I’m so sorry to wake you up,” Petra said.

“No need to be sorry. You are feeling so much hurt. You are missing the man you love. I understand. If I ever have to live my life without Klaus, I will feel this way too. It’s all right. It will be all right.” Still stroking Petra’s head, she helped her to sit back down in the rocker.

“When the German army marched into our little village, people seethed with hatred for them. Everyone considered the soldiers invaders.” She sniffled. “But at the time I worked in my father’s tavern on the water, and on my way home, I saw them. Like fate, you know? Hans stood so tall, with golden hair, and he was not much older than me. He wore this
dashing
uniform, and he stood with the straightest posture you can imagine. As I walked by
,
my eyes met his
,
and I could not believe the color blue they were. I’d never seen eyes that color. They captivated me. Then he smiled. I forgot all about what my friends and my parents said about the Germans, and I smiled back. I didn’t think I’d ever see him again.”

“But you did.”

“Yes, oh yes. He found me. He asked around until he found out where I worked, and he came to find me. At first I resisted because I knew that everyone would disapprove, but he broke my resolve with his good looks and charm.”

“You liked him right away,”
Siegland
said as Petra wiped her tear
s away with the handkerchief
Sie
gland
gave her.

“I think that maybe I loved him right away. When I told my best friend, Astrid, she told me that I must forget about him, but I couldn’t, you know? I tried, but I couldn’t. He took me to dinner. His generosity and kindness awed me, and before I knew it, we started kissing, and then, well as you can see we were more than kissing.”

“Yes, I understand. I do. I am a woman, too
,
”
Siegland
said.

“
Siegland
, what if I never love anyone again? I feel so old, yet in reality, I’m still young.”

“Oh, maybe you will love again. I think so. You need to try to get on with your life. I know it will be hard, but you will have a baby, and you can stay here and be our family for as long as you want to.”

“
Siegland
, you are so kind, like a mother to me. If I say it a thousand times, I still w
ill not have thanked you enough.
” Petra sighed, “Never enough.”

“You could do something for me,
”
Siegland
said.

“Anything.”

“Maybe you could call me Mama?”

“Of course, Mama
.”

Chapter 9

A

t about six o’clock in the morning
in early May, as
Siegland
and Klaus slept,
Petra’s labor pains began.
They started with a light cramping, just enough to nudge Petra awake, letting her know the baby was on its way. She stayed in bed; from what she’d heard about childbirth, it would be hours before the actual delivery, so she decided not to wake the
Bruchmeiers
yet. Flushed with excitement, fear and anticipation, Petra lay looking out the window at the beginning of the new day. It was still dark outside, with just a flicker of the morning light beginning to illuminate the earth. The large oak trees cast shadows through the glass and across the room. As she gazed at them, she smiled, thinking to herself that today, once again, her life would change forever. Soon she would know if she had a son or a daughter.  With
Siegland
at her side, she had spent hours thinking of names for the child.  She still hadn’t decided between Steffi and Astrid for a girl’s name, but if she gave birth to a boy, his name would definitely be Hans, to honor his father.  Perhaps she would add middle names for her parents: Brigit for her mother or Eric for her Papa.  As the sunlight grew
stronger, filtering slowly into the room, her pains came at shorter intervals, and she knew she must awaken the
Bruchmeiers
so that Klaus could fetch the midwife.

Petra entered the couple’s bedroom and found them snoring softly.  She hated to disturb them, but knew she must.

             
Gently, she stroked
Sie
gland’s
shoulder.

             
“Mama, I think it’s time. The baby is coming.”

             
Sie
gland
woke im
m
ediately and helped Petra back to bed. Then she sat by her side and waited while Klaus dressed swif
tly.  He ran outside, and hitch
ing the old horse to the cart, he headed over to the home of the woman who would help Petra with childbirth. Klaus had never been an emotional man, but he had grown to care for the young, pregnant girl with the gentle ways and sweet, appreciative smile. Petra warmed his heart, bringing laughter into the house, and he could not help but be happy for all the pleasure she gave to his wife.

             
When Klaus returned with the midwife, they found
Siegland
seated beside Petra, holding her hand. The midwife, Rita
VanStrom
, a woman of more than sixty years, wore a neatly-fitting dark brown dress and her hair in a tight gray bun. With a hard look she sent Klaus out of
the room. Next she examined Petra and judged the situation. Her small, sharp eyes checked to see how far Petra had dilated. As a veteran childbirth assistant
,
she assessed that it would be a while
before the baby opened its eyes
to survey its new surroundings. Rita
VanStrom
pursed her thin lips as she studied the girl. Petra’s hips appeared small. That could make for a difficult delivery.

“
Siegland
, get me a pot of boiled water, several towels, and a needle and thread. If you ha
ve alcohol, it would be helpful,
”
t
he midwife ordered
,
taking charge.

             
It was clear to
Siegland
that
VanStrom
was the expert
,
so she obeyed and gathered the requested items.

             
For fourteen hours, Petra labored. Lines of perspiration ran down her face as
Siegland
sat beside her, wiping them away with cool, damp washcloths.
Siegland
never strayed from Petra’s side, not even for a moment to relieve
herself
. Her face was pinched with worry as she watched the girl who’d become like
a daughter to her suffer
.  Petra grew weak, but just as she began to sob, afraid she could endure no more, the baby began to crown. The midwife saw by the way that Petra’s breathing had changed that the time had arrived.

“Ready now
,
when you get the next contraction, you push, understand?”
VanStrom
directed Petra. She spoke with the confidence of a well-trained general.

             
Nodding, exhausted, and questioning how she would find the strength to push the baby out, Petra held tight to the towel that
Siegland
gave her.

             
“Hold
this. Squeeze it and get ready,”
Sie
gland
said, perspiration beading on her forehead.

             
With a wave of pain,
the contraction seized Petra. As the gripping agony shot
through her, she pushed. Spent at the end
of the contraction
, she lay back on the bed, her face bathed in a film of sweat.

             
“Again.
Ready? Here it comes,” t
he midwife instructed.

             
With all of her strength Petra pushed. A dribble of sweat tickled down her back, and to Petra it felt as if the baby might be the size of a watermelon. The veins on her neck stood out like ropes, and her face turned
a deep shade of red
.  After half an hour of continuous pushi
ng, she gripped
Siegland’s
hand,
“I can’t do this. I think I will die. The baby is not coming, and I don’t know what to do.”

             
Sie
gland
fought the tears.  As she gazed at Petra
,
she realized how small the girl actually was. Terror came over
the old
er
woman as she considered the possibility that Petra might not survive.