Authors: J. Larsen
He held her chin and they kissed.
Martin teased her upper lip with the tip of his tongue and she dug her fingernails into the bedding.
He slid a hand under her shirt and he unsnapped the clasp of her bra.
Martin held her breast in his palm then brushed her hard nipple with the tip of his finger.
She cooed as her body responded to the touch.
Jessica twisted and jerked as the sensation became overwhelming.
He knew exactly how to touch her.
Martin kissed her neck then moved upwards, parting her lips with his tongue.
She pressed her lips into his.
He slipped a hand under the waistband of her silk underwear.
She spread her legs and he dragged a finger along her eager slit.
She moaned in desperation and Martin pushed the digit between the folds of her lips.
The pleasure was a cascade.
Jessica gave a little cry when he pulled his hand away.
He stared into her eyes and licked her dampness off his fingertip.
Martin grabbed Jessica’s wrists and moved her hands to the button on the front of his slacks.
She worked to release it.
Her stomach was in knots and she struggled with the button until it finally popped free.
Jess could feel the married man's body radiating heat as she ran her fingers over the ridges on his stomach.
She leaned her forehead on his firm abdomen and inhaled.
His scent was strong and musky.
Martin moved her hands down to his zipper.
He smiled wickedly as she lowered it.
"Miss?
Miss?
Please raise your seat and prepare for landing."
The stewardess startled Jessica from the vivid dream.
She heard the landing gear lowering and the plane shook slightly as it descended.
Out the window the aqua waters of the southern Caribbean shone in the morning light.
Ch3
A dozen taxi drivers exhibiting a dozen combinations of sweat and squalor stood waiting outside the airport.
Several called to Joel and Jessica and a pair of the more aggressive young men nearly came to blows over their luggage.
Jessica tried to remember: hadn’t she seen a shuttle to the resort on one of their pamphlets?
Maybe that would be better.
The pushy drivers, however, would not be denied.
Somehow one driver managed to load their things in his car and they were on their way to the resort.
The young driver chatted amiably once his rivals were chased away.
"I can show you all the fun spots.
You like dancing?
Want to see the best beaches?
I can show you places where you will have the entire beach to yourselves."
He grinned and raised his eyebrows conspiratorially.
Jessica wished he would watch the road.
“Do you want some smoke?
I’ve got the best stuff.”
Joel shook his head.
“We’re non-smokers.
Thanks, though,” he said.
Jessica was pretty sure that her husband was referring to cigarettes –the driver; something else.
Joel promised to call the guy if he needed a ride around the island and he pocketed a ratty business card after tipping him.
The resort building looked just like the picture on her brochure.
Jess looked past the main building to the sandy beach in the distance.
The view was postcard perfection.
The water shone light blue in the midday sun and the sand was a dazzling white.
Jess breathed in the sea air and squeezed her husband’s hand.
This was going to be fun! “Let’s get checked in and head for some sunshine.
What do you say?”
Joel grinned and nodded at his wife. “Heck, yeah.”
They were waiting for the porter to finish with the couple ahead of them when Joel squeezed his wife’s elbow.
“Look over there.”
Jessica almost choked.
The taxi had dropped them on the west side of a large circular drive with the hotel entrance in the middle.
Across the half-circle on the opposite side of the entrance, the Timmons were surrounded by a massive pile of luggage.
Jess’s cheeks turned red as she remembered her dream earlier that morning.
Damn.
What are the odds?
I can’t believe HE’s here.
Martin was wearing a white sleeveless shirt and khaki shorts that came midway down his muscular thighs.
Jessica stared for a moment at his broad shoulders and his thick arms.
In his hands he clutched a satchel and a rolling bag balanced on his hip as he watched an approaching taxi cab.
His hair was mussed and a wisp of brown locks hung over the corner of the aviator sunglasses he was wearing.
Catherine stood next to her husband fidgeting, but Jessica struggled to take her eyes off Martin.
What myth had this God come from and why was he haunting her so?
Jess saw that the pair was packed to check out of the hotel.
Their body language told her that they weren’t having a good day.
Catherine was turned away from her husband and his arms were crossed across his chest defensively.
The couple made no eye contact.
Jessica noticed a small strip of tanned skin above his shorts where the tank top had ridden up.
She stared at the sight of him as she tried to commit the vision to memory.
“Catherine.
Martin.
Hey!”
Joel yelled across the circular drive at the older couple.
He grabbed Jessica by the arm and began to pull her towards the Timmons.
Jessica was startled and resisted.
She felt a strong urge to hide.
“Jess, the bags will be okay here for a second.
We’ll be able to see them.”
Joel misinterpreted his wife’s hesitance to approach their neighbors.
Catherine Timmons was definitely annoyed.
Jessica wasn’t sure if it was their intrusion or some other circumstance that had taken place before she and Joel arrived.
The older woman forced a smile and moved forward to hug Joel then Catherine.
Jessica knew a fake smile when she saw one, and she was sure that Catherine was barely containing her agitation.
What have we stumbled upon here?
The brunette’s cell phone buzzed as she and Catherine disengaged from their awkward embrace.
“Excuse me.
I’ve got to take this call.
The office, you know.”
Catherine walked off to answer the beckoning message.
“She can’t stay off the damn thing for a minute.
I’m sorry about that.
She’s not normally so rude.”
Martin was apologetic but there was an agitated tone to his voice.
His face was stained with annoyance and frustration.
Jessica noticed a day’s stubble on Martin’s face and stress lines alongside his mouth which she thought added a sense of sophistication to his countenance.
She looked at his eyes and he held her glance purposefully.
She realized that she had been staring.
“Are you two staying here?” Joel asked.
“Wow.
What a coincidence.
It’s a beautiful place.”
He was oblivious to the obvious tension between Martin and Catherine as well as his wife’s gawking.
“We’re just checking out, actually.
Catherine’s got to go land the big deal, you know.
Always working, that one.”
Martin looked over his shoulder at his wife.
His expression left little doubt that he was furious with Catherine.
“You’re kidding,” Joel said.
“It would have been great if you were here.
I am so bummed.”
Jessica knew that Joel still hadn’t figured out that he had interrupted something.
He could be very slow to catch social clues.
They are arguing.
Open your eyes, Joel.
Let’s give them space.
Martin directed a taxi driver to begin loading their bags.
By the time he had finished the job, the taxi’s trunk was packed and the front passenger seat held the overflow.
Martin corralled Catherine and led her, still on the phone, into the back seat.
He stopped and gave Jessica an innocent looking hug.
“Christ, you look fucking sexy in that sun dress,”
Martin whispered in her ear as he hugged her.
Jessica blushed.
His warm breath on her neck made her knees weak.
As the pair split Martin held her gaze.
There was a hint of lechery in his eyes and a knowing smirk.
Jessica looked at Joel to see his reaction.
Her husband was oblivious to the entire exchange.
As the taxi driver closed the door Joel waved at the departing couple.
“Have a safe flight.
Don’t forget, we still owe you a dinner.”
Jessica tried to catch her breath.
Her heart was pounding in her chest.
She watched the taxi pull away, a blurry yellow dollop of paint on an abstract canvas.
What had he whispered?
Was that real?
“Honey,” she said, “I think I need to sit down.”
Ch4
Jess and Joel headed to the room.
The bookish computer programmer doted on his wife with genuine concern.
“Do you think it was the flight, Sweetheart?
Drink some water.
That’ll help.”
Jessica was shaken by the encounter with Martin Timmons.
Had he really said that she looked amazing?
No, “fucking sexy”.
That brief conversation was destined to play through her head on a never ending loop.
He hadn’t been coming-on to her, had he?
It seemed unlikely but why else would he have whispered in her ear like that?
The pair fussed around the bedroom until lunchtime.
Jessica was lost in thought.
The incident with Martin dominated her thoughts as she tried to recall and dissect every moment of the brief encounter. Meeting Martin like that, coupled with the odd dream she had earlier, made for an unsettling morning.
Jess unpacked the suitcase and set aside the swimwear for the afternoon while Joel checked out the balcony and read the hotel services guide.
“They have a gym here, babe.”
“My gym is going to be the ocean.
Besides, what are you trying to say?
You think I need to get in shape?”
Jess knew she was being a little too defensive.
Joel puffed up his cheeks and waddled around the room while cradling a mock belly.
He ducked the first pillow that came whizzing by his head but received a direct hit from the second.
He crashed to the bed as if he had been shot.
Joel grabbed his attacker by the wrist and pulled her towards him for a kiss.
“Let’s just stay in the room,” he said.
“Who needs the beach anyways?”
“I’m going to the beach.
Are you crazy?
Look at that water.”
Jessica disengaged.
“I’ll take care of you later.
I promise.”
She planted a smooch on his cheek and headed for the bathroom.
“Get dressed,
loverboy
.
I’m buying you lunch.”
One thing about Joel, he always could lighten the mood.
Jessica felt better after a lunch of fresh fruit and the catch of the day.
The waiter recommended daiquiris and Jess savored every sip of the island concoction.
Her husband, after finishing his second drink, began to giggle.
Joel could never handle his alcohol.
The mood was infectious and soon the two were sneaking food off each other’s plates and stealing each other’s daiquiris.
Joel flipped a bread roll at his wife and laughed when it caught her in the nose.
Jessica brandished her fork menacingly and swore revenge as Joel cowered in fear.
It was one of the best lunches ever, and by the end of it the unsettling feeling was nowhere to be found.
Jessica held Joel’s hand as they walked back to the room.
He hummed a ridiculous tune and she swatted his rump to shut him up.
“You’re going to have to slow down on the daiquiris,
hun
.”
Joel struggled to open the door until Jess took over and ushered him into the bungalow.
Joel flopped dramatically on the bed and pretended to snore.
“I mean it,” she said.
“No more daiquiris for a while.
They make you silly.”
An hour later Jess looked at herself in the mirror on the back of the bathroom door.
She didn’t like the way her bikini fit her.
Why didn’t I stick to that diet?
For some reason, when appraising her figure, she thought about Martin and imagined what he would think of her beach body.
Her hips were too wide and the round bump below her belly button was embarrassing.
Compared to Martin’s wife, Jessica did not belong in a bikini.
She may look “fucking sexy” in a sun dress, but in a bikini she was “fucking embarrassing.”
Jessica thought about Catherine Timmons and her country-club physique.
Catherine would look stunning in swimwear.
Jessica knew that Martin’s wife didn't have to buy bottoms whose main selling point was “flattering to plus-sized ladies.”
Jessica decided that she was relieved the Timmons had left Antigua.
She didn’t want him to see her in a bathing suit.
Jess almost resolved to spend the day on a lounge chair reading.
She could manage to stay covered in a robe for a week, right?
Would that seem too odd?
Out the sliding glass door, a laughing couple caught her eye.
A plus-sized bride jogged into the water and splashed her husband with a giggle.
The husband dunked his wife and she came out of the surf laughing and shaking water out of her ears.
Jess was reminded of Joel and his flair for being silly and making her laugh.
“No more moping,” she decided.
So what if she wasn’t a swimsuit model?
Jessica figured that she would have only one honeymoon in her life, and she wasn’t going to waste it feeling sorry for herself.
The water was chilly when Jessica first waded in, but after five minutes it was blissful floating in the salty water.
Small waves broke over her knees as she waded, then once she got past the surf, the motion gently rocked her back and forth.
Jessica lay on a floating chair and enjoyed the sounds of the seaside and the feel of the small currents running over her skin.
Even the smell was relaxing.
Joel joined Jess to tell her that he was heading to a nearby beach for snorkeling.
She toweled off and after letting Joel refresh her sunscreen, lay under an umbrella to relax.
The salt air and the sunshine had put her in a great mood and she had largely forgotten her earlier insecurities.
Jessica let herself drift somewhere just shy of sleeping –in a pleasant state of blissful relaxation.
“Pretty lady.
Pretty lady.
Want to buy a drink?
Very cold.”
Jess opened her eyes to see an island man carrying an old plastic cooler full of iced drinks.
He wore a beat-up T-shirt that was almost as grimy as his sweat-stained forearms.
The man’s warm smile was somewhat toothless, but his brown eyes implored her to make a purchase.
She smiled and shook her head.
“No thanks.
I’m good.
I haven’t any money today.”
Jessica gestured to her swimwear which was obviously lacking the pockets needed to hold up her end of such a transaction.
The man eyed her bikini-clad body and Jessica realized the he was checking her out.
The island man did his best to be discrete as he looked along her legs to her midsection and her large breasts, but the quick glances were unmistakable.
He cleared his throat nervously when she caught his lecherous stare.
“No really, it’s okay.
Nothing to drink.”
Jess smiled reassuringly and the man nodded.
His expression was that of a schoolboy who had been caught passing a note in class.
Despite his obvious embarrassment, the salesman gave Jessica’s body one more lingering look before moving on.
The attention was flattering and Jessica began to smile after the man had moved along.
Maybe she didn’t look so bad in the bikini after all.
The islander’s eyes had almost popped out of his head while looking at her deep cleavage.
Later in the day a pair of younger guys walked along the beach.
Jess watched them through almost-closed eye-slits.
One guy elbowed his friend and motioned towards her.
The friend looked at his buddy and nodded in admiration.
Jess smiled again and the young pair knew that they had been caught staring.
One of the two waved sheepishly.
“Sorry about that.”
Jessica waved them on with a chuckle.
Wow.
That’s twice.
During the next two hours Jessica paid careful attention to the beachgoers walking by.
She was receiving more than her share of admiring glances.
She began to feel very sexy in her bikini.
Jessica was no model, but there were plenty of guys who preferred curvy women.
What was it Martin had said?
“You look fucking sexy?”
Jess had spent years worrying about how she looked and about whether she was slim enough.
Her foray to Martin’s gym was not her first attempt at getting in shape and, although she was much fitter than she had been as a teen, Jess had a hard time thinking of herself as attractive.
The attention she received since arriving in Antigua was a revelation for Jessica.
She had been hit on surreptitiously by her neighbor, leered at by the soft drink seller, and gawked at by a dozen men.
Maybe, Jess thought, I’m not the ugly duckling, after all.
---
There are moments in life that are replayed ad-
nauseum
.
Sometimes our most traumatizing moments are repeated in infinite loops to better feed our hungry insecurities. Ten years later cruel little passion plays can remain as lucid, perhaps more lucid, than yesterday’s small dramas.
Jessica looked up in shame at the wide smiles of a dozen high school girls and boys.
She laid blushing and hurting on the dirty tile floor, the victim of an extended foot and a well-timed shove.
Her face reddened as she grasped a bruised knee, throbbing and preparing to swell.
The hallway was littered with papers and books and Jessica’s pudgy arms and ham-hock legs, and the scene, judging by the reaction of her gathered classmates, was the apex of hilarity.
She sat up as a dark haired girl stooped beside her.
Jess reached out to take a helping hand but the girl ignored her in favor of a stack of papers.
She brandished Jess’s notes to the growing audience and the laughter was a blow to the ribs.
The page was emblazoned with the doodles of a silly teenage girl; Jessica loves Charles, Mrs. Charles White, Jessica White, and a dozen other variations amid hearts and flowers.
The girl looked down and bared her teeth, “You and Charles?
Fat chance, chubby.”
Her classmates corroborated the story when a faculty member rounded the corner.
“She just slipped.
She’s a klutz,” they said.
Jess sat on the floor counting.
Eighteen.
Eighteen students stood in the hall and watched the chubby girl with tears streaming down her face clutch feebly at her injuries.
The amusement continued when she showed up on crutches the next day, her knee in a tension bandage.
It was a lesson that was drilled home over a month of knee wraps and doctor’s visits -a slow-cooked humiliation that over time was cured and compacted into a solid edifice.
“You’re not good enough, Jessica.”
---
Joel retrieved his wife after snorkeling through the afternoon.
The two walked arm in arm from the beach up a small slope to the resort.
In the distance the setting sun completed the idyllic scene.
Jess was beaming, a by-product of a freshly calibrated demeanor.
A few admiring glances can go a long way towards realigning one’s self-image and Jessica’s was buoyed.
Her growing self-esteem was evident in her stride, now practically a strut, and her body language.
For the first time in her life, the chubby girl was afloat in a sea of positive body image.
Once they hit the cement walkway Jessica realized just how hot the Caribbean sun could be.
She hopped off the paving stones after a couple of steps.
“Ouch, that burns.”
She dug in her oversized beach bag for a pair of flip flops.
After securing her feet in the appropriate beachwear, Jessica stood up.
She gasped.
There at the cabana bar was Martin Timmons.
He lifted his glass to toast the married couple.
Martin’s grin was wide and welcoming.
Joel squeezed his wife’s elbow, “Hey, there’s Martin.
What’s he doing back here?”