“Hmm,”
Lilian looked pensive, “I guess… so long as you’re
willing to not interfere with our relationship, then I’m
willing to let bygones be bygones.”
“I
won’t make any promises.”
“Ha…
I suppose that’s the best I can ask for.”
An
awkward silence fell upon them--until Iris broke it.
“By
the way,” she glanced down, “what’s that in your
hands?”
“Hmm?
Oh, you mean these?” Lilian held up the objects in her hands.
“Yes.”
“This
one right here is a kunai.” Lilian shook the leaf-shaped blade
used by every shounen manga ninja in the multiverse, the same kunai
Kevin had bought for her. “And this is a whetting stone to
sharpen the kunai.” She then shook the strange gray block in
her other hand. “I’m going to use the whetting stone to
sharpen my kunai.”
An
awkward silence ensued. During this time, Iris stared at Lilian like
she was an idiot.
“There
are so many things I could say to that, but I won’t. It would
be too easy,” Iris declared. “And has anyone ever told
you that you’re beginning to take after Kotohime way too much?”
Lilian
just tilted her head. “Hawa?”
***
School
had yet to start, but there were still plenty of people milling
about, both students and teachers alike. Sometimes they walked in
groups, other times alone. A few sat at the stone tables littering
the courtyard, enjoying the crisp morning air, while some went
straight to their homerooms.
Christine
stood near the entrance, trying to calm herself down with a pep talk.
You
can do this, Christine. There’s nothing to worry about. All you
need to do is tell Kevin that you want to speak with him a-a-alone
and―ah―a-a-and tell him that you… that you…
that you hate his guts! No, wait! Tell him that you l-l-l―want
to kill him! N-no, that’s not it! That isn’t―agh!
This is so stupid!
Christine
was trying for another confession. Despite the fact that Kevin was
dating Lilian, she still felt confident in her chances of making him
see that she would be a much better girlfriend than the redhead. Yes,
she would not allow the person she l-l-l-lo-lov―sorta liked to
be with someone other than her.
It
took a while for Kevin to show up. Because of Iris, he no longer rode
his bike, which was actually faster because there were no stops along
the way. When the bus he rode in rolled to a stop, he disembarked,
his left hand clasped in Lilian’s right, with Iris trailing
behind them. As they started walking to their homeroom, Christine
walked up to them.
“K-K-Kevin!”
she shouted, even though she was only four feet away.
“Um,
morning, Christine,” Kevin greeted warily. “How are you?”
“I-I-I-I,
uh… ah―I needed―I mean, I wanted…”
“Is
she alright?” Iris asked Lilian. “She looks like she’s
about to explode.”
“She’s
fine,” Lilian assured her sister. “This is natural for
tsunderes.”
“Right,
right. I forgot that this girl was a tsundere.”
“Uh,
Christine?” Kevin was looking more concerned by the second.
“Are you alright?”
“I’m
fine!” Christine snapped before calming herself. “I
wanted to―I needed―I, ah, um… what I mean is…
I-want-your-babies!”
A
stiff breeze blew through the now silent clearing. A tumbleweed
rolled between Kevin and Christine. Kevin tracked the tumbleweed
until it rolled out of sight, and then turned back to Christine.
Um,
what?” Kevin looked dumbfounded.
“Ne,”
Iris leaned into Lilian’s ear again, “what’s up
with tsun-tsun over there? She looks like an ice cube.”
“Just
wait for it,” Lilian whispered back.
“Um,
Christine, can you repeat that?” Kevin rubbed the back of his
head. “I didn’t quite catch that?”
It
took Christine exactly 2.6 seconds to register her own words. It took
another 2.6 seconds to comprehend them. Exactly six seconds after
that, Christine’s face exploded with color as steam poured out
of her ears.
Tsundere
protocols: activated.
“Y-y-y-you…
how dare you, ya damn beast!”
Kevin’s
eyes widened fractionally.
“What—Gu!”
He
then received a brutal headbutt to the face, which sent him sprawling
to the ground.
“Y-y-you
stupid, IDIOT!”
“Holy
crap!”
Kevin
rolled to the left, avoiding the heel stomp that crashed into the
pavement. He stared in horror as a spiderweb of cracks spread out
from the point of impact, followed by a sheet of ice that crawled
across the ground.
“HOW
DARE YOU MAKE ME EMBARRASS MYSELF LIKE THIS!”
Kevin
scrambled to his feet, then got the hell out of Dodge when a fist
sought to bash his face in. He avoided it. The poor light pole behind
him wasn’t so lucky. It emitted a loud metallic shriek as it
bent where Christine punched it.
“I’LL
KILL YOU!”
“Why
are you being so violent?! What did I―Holy Berserker on a
stick!”
“STAY
STILL AND DIE!”
“How
about no―sweet Mary MacBeth!”
Iris
and Lilian, along with the other students present, watched as
Christine chased Kevin around the courtyard.
“Aren’t
you going to help him?” asked Iris. “He is your mate,
after all.”
Lilian
gave Iris a solemn look. “I love Kevin very much, however, even
I am not stupid enough to get in the way of a tsundere and her
target.”
“Makes
sense,” Iris agreed, and then returned to watching Christine
try to pound Kevin’s face in.
I
wish I had some popcorn.
***
Eric
strolled around a corner and stepped into the courtyard.
He
didn’t normally come back this way since his class was located
on the opposite side of school, but he felt obligated to greet his
new lord these days. After all, it would be wrong of him to not pay
proper homage to his lord, like those mongrels who didn’t pay
respect to Gilgamesh, a character from one of his favorite visual
novels.
“My
Lord!” Eric greeted in a booming voice as he stepped in front
of Kevin—only to barely avoid being struck stupid when the boy
in question nearly ran him over. “What the hell is—”
CRACK!
He
never finished that sentence, because in less time than it took to
say “
za
warudo,”
Christine
slammed her fist into his nose.
“My
nose!” Eric held a hand to his now bleeding nose. “You
just broke my nose! What did you do that for?!”
BAM!
“GA!
You just headbutted me!”
“FILTHY,
DISGUSTING PERVERT!”
“O-Oi!
I take offense to―GAOI!”
“DIE,
NEURONS! DIE!”
On
that day, Kevin learned a very important lesson.
Whenever
dealing with Christine, make sure to bring Eric along, so she can
have a target to beat up when her tsundere protocols activate.
His
perverted friend made a great scapegoat.
***
Classes
passed quickly that morning, and soon enough, it was time for PE.
“Line
up, brats!”
Kevin,
Lilian, Iris, and Eric lined up with the rest of the students as
Coach Raide blew into his whistle. The man looked at all of them,
scowling more fiercely than usual. Perhaps it was just their
perception of him, but the large wookiee-like coach seemed awfully
angry about something.
“You’ll
all be doing drills today!” He received a chorus of groans.
“Shut up! Anyone who whines or complains is getting worked
twice as hard as everyone else! Now, you’re all going to follow
me outside to the track field, where we’ll be doing a one-mile
run! Well? What are you waiting for? An invitation? Move it!”
Spurred
on by their coach, the group traveled outside.
“Is
it just me, or is Coach Raide even more belligerent than usual
today?” one of the male students asked.
“It’s
definitely not just you,” another said. “He’s
pissed. Just look at that scowl. That’s not his normal scowl.”
“Really?”
asked a girl. “I can’t tell the difference between this
scowl and his normal one.”
“That’s
cuz you’re an idiot.”
“Hey!”
Kevin
let the conversation flow over him as he walked to the track field,
Lilian’s left hand clasped in his. Iris strolled along on the
redhead’s right side. Eric frowned as he walked on Kevin’s
other side.
“Pardon
me, My Lord,” Eric was speaking formerly again, “but I
was hoping you would permit me to ask a question.”
“You
can knock it off with the ‘Lord’ thing. It wasn’t
funny the first time, and it’s not funny now.”
“I
think it’s hilarious.”
“You
be quiet!” Kevin spat at Iris, seconds before noticing the
stare Eric was giving him. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed.
“Go ahead and ask, though I can’t promise an answer.”
Eric
nodded as if he’d been expecting Kevin to say that. “I
just wanted to know if you’ve seen my master anywhere.”
“Your
master?” Kevin blinked. “Do you mean Ms. Grant?”
“Hm.
Master.”
“Now
that you mention it, I haven’t seen her since we went shopping
for Halloween costumes.” Kevin’s face scrunched up for
several seconds before relaxing again. “To be honest, I thought
she’d be with you.”
“I’m
not sure why you’d think any of us would know where she is.”
Lilian wrinkled her nose to show her dislike for the blond woman.
“You’re the one who’s always spending time with
her. Shouldn’t you know where she is?”
“That’s
just it, I haven’t seen her since Saturday. I don’t know
what’s going on.” Hanging his head, Eric appeared
completely unaware of the large raincloud that randomly appeared
above him. Kevin, Lilian and Iris moved several feet away as rain
began pouring from it. “And Master promised to take me peeping
today…”
Kevin
facepalmed. “Of course that’s what you’d be worried
about.”
Despite
Eric’s idiocy, their curiosity had been piqued. They decided to
ask Coach Raide if he knew where Ms. Grant was. Unfortunately, the
ornery man didn’t seem to appreciate the question. Immediately
after mentioning the assistant PE coach’s name, his face turned
a deep shade of puce.
“What
the hell makes you think I know where that good for nothing slacker
is, huh?! I’m not her goddamn keeper!”
Needless
to say, they avoided Coach Raide for the rest of class.
***
School
had ended, but Eric had been forced to stay after because he had
gotten caught peeping. Again. His dad had spoken with him at great
length, lecturing him on how he needed to stop spying on the girls
because it was disrespectful. His old man had done this while looking
through a porn magazine, thereby rendering everything he said null
and void. What right did that old codger have to stop him from
peeping? The old fool just wanted to stifle his peeping habits
because he didn’t have the guts to do it himself!
Getting
off the late bus, Eric grumbled about the unfairness of the world as
he walked up to his house. The lights weren’t on, meaning that
his mother must have still been at work.
He
was surprised that his mom hadn’t divorced his old man yet,
what with his father’s unrepentant perviness and all that.
Perhaps she saw something special in the old man that no one did.
God
only knows what she sees in the old fart.
He
opened the gate and entered the courtyard. As he locked the gate
behind him, the hairs on his neck prickled. He rubbed the back of his
neck, wondering if the cold chill blowing through the courtyard was
due to the weather or something else. It wasn’t until he had
reached the front door that Eric finally realized why he felt this
way.
He
wasn’t alone.
“Ah…
heh… apprentice…”
“M-Master!”
Eric
rushed to Heather’s side. She was resting against the
cobblestone steps, her back leaning against the door. She held a hand
over her torso, which was covered in filthy bandages. Crimson
splotches seeped between her fingers, spreading across her skin and
soaking into the fabric of her shirt.
Eric
felt ready to hyperventilate.
“W-w-w-what
happened to you?! Why are you bleeding?!”
“Later…”
Heather grunted. “I’ll tell you later…” She
looked up, her half-lidded, partially glazed over eyes blinking at
his. “H-help me… get inside…”
Eric
quickly followed her command. Slinging one of her arms over his
shoulder and foisting her up, he entered the house and staggered to
the living room, Heather’s feet dragging along behind him.
Because
of his parents’ jobs, they were quite well off, and the living
room reflected their wealth. The furniture was comfortable and the
appliances state-of-the-art. They even had a 76’ flatscreen TV
with surround sound built into hidden speakers all over the house.
He
laid Heather down on the large leather sofa, ignoring the blood
seeping into the material. He could worry about that later. There
were more important matters at hand.
“Ha…
ha…” Heather’s breathing had grown heavy. A pained
expression was etched on her fair features. “Apprentice…
I need you…” She coughed, blood dribbling from the
corners of her mouth. “I need you to get… contact with
Lilian… tell her… need… help…”
“What
do you mean, Master? Why would you—Master? Master!” When
Heather’s eyes closed and her body went limp, Eric freaked out.
“Oh, god! What do I do? What do I do?” he fretted,
running around like a chicken with its head cut off—at least
until he ran into a wall. Then he remembered what his master had told
him just before she passed out. “Call Lilian. Call Lilian.”
He
grabbed his phone and was about to dial Lilian’s number when he
remembered something else.
“Does
Lilian even have a cellphone?”
***
After
receiving a phone call from Eric, Kevin and the family of kitsune
went over to the pervert’s house.