“This
is so nice,” Lilian murmured, her voice soft and lackadaisical.
She sounded tired. Kevin worried that she might fall asleep if she
relaxed any further. “I wish we could stay like this.”
“We’ll
prune if we stay in here for too long.”
“I
know that. But a girl can dream, can’t she?”
Kevin
chuckled. He couldn’t see her face, which was nuzzled against
his neck, but he could imagine the adorable pout she wore.
“We’ll
do this again. Maybe it can be something we do on weekends, or
whatever.”
Lilian
raised her head and looked him in the eyes. Her own eyes were wide
and full of hope. “Really?”
“Really.”
Lilian
stared at him for a moment longer. Long enough to make his cheeks
grow hot. After what felt like fifteen minutes but was really only a
few seconds, she smiled, and leaned in to give him a kiss.
“I
love this new, more confident Kevin,” she mumbled against his
lips.
“Not
so new,” he whispered back, his voice only slightly muffled by
her mouth.
Lilian
leaned back and gave him a bright, cheerful smile. “Perhaps
not,” she chirped, “you’re still the same
kind-hearted person who saved me and allowed me to live with you,
even though I sort of screwed up your life.”
“Sort
of?”
Lilian
had the decency to look mildly abashed. “Okay, so maybe it was
more than just a little.”
“Right,
because having someone tell all my friends that we’re engaged
when we really weren’t and trying to intimidate my only female
friend into staying away from me is ‘more than just a little.’”
Lilian’s
cheeks puffed up. “So, I was a little overzealous in my
attempts to win your affection. I needed a leg up so I could be
number one in case the author decided to turn this story into a
harem. Can you blame me?”
Grinning,
Kevin finally removed his hands from Lilian’s hips, placing
them against her cheeks and pushing the air out of them. “Yes.
Yes, I can.” A pause. “Wait. What?”
“What
do you mean ‘what?’”
“I
could have sworn you just said something about a harem.”
“You’re
imagining things.”
“No,
no. I could have sworn you said something about a harem. And how many
times have I told you to stop mentioning people who don’t
exist?!”
Their
skin eventually started to wrinkle and the two were forced to get
out. After drying each other off, they got dressed and wandered into
the kitchen.
Iris
was already sitting down at the table while Kotohime served
breakfast. The two-tailed Void Kitsune looked up when they walked in,
as did Kotohime.
“Lilian-sama,
Kevin-sama. I hope you two had a pleasant shower.”
“We
did.” Lilian was the epitome of good cheer while Kevin blushed.
More confident he might have been, but he still couldn’t deal
with people actually knowing that he and Lilian were intimate.
“You
two were in that shower for an awfully long time.” Iris’s
eyes narrowed into thin slits. “You didn’t do anything
you shouldn’t have, did you?”
While
Kevin coughed into his hand, mostly to hide the fierce burning in his
cheeks, Lilian defiantly stared back at Iris. “Is that a
problem?”
Kevin
sat down and busied himself with his food, hoping that doing so would
hide his embarrassment.
“No,
no,” the ravenette assured, raising both hands in a defensive
gesture. “No problem. I was just wondering if you would let me
join you guys next time.”
Kevin
was so surprised by Iris’s comment that the food he’d
begun eating went down his windpipe.
“B-Beloved!”
Kevin
choked and hacked, pounding his chest as he tried to dislodge the
food. Lilian rubbed his back as if trying to soothe the panic he felt
at not being able to breathe. When he finally coughed up the last bit
of rice, he heartily drank the glass of water that Kotohime presented
to him.
“Stop
picking on my mate,” Lilian frowned at her fraternal twin.
“Who
said I was picking on him?” asked a devious Iris. “I was
being completely serious. The next time you two decide to take a bath
together, let me know so I can join you.” She eyed the two with
a hungry leer. “I think it’ll be fun.”
While
Kevin tried to pretend he hadn’t heard her, Lilian flushed at
the imagery Iris’s words invoked. She then shook her head,
dispelling the images, and sent Iris a mildly flustered glare. “Not
happening.”
“Aw,
come on, Lily-pad. You can’t share your mate with your dear
sister?”
While
Kevin’s face turned into a neon sign, Lilian looked away
uncomfortably. “You already know my stance on this subject.”
A pause. Lilian turned back to Iris and frowned. “And I thought
I told you to stop calling me Lily-pad.”
“You’re
such a spoilsport, sis.” Iris feigned disappointment, then
grinned as she turned her attention to Kevin, a wicked gleam in her
eyes. “I know, I’ll just ask your mate.”
Lilian’s
eyes widened. “Don’t you dare!”
“Hey,
Kevin, maybe this will convince you to let me join in on your fun.”
Iris’s grin made Kevin feel like a mouse trapped between the
paws of a jungle panther. “I’m not wearing any panties.
See?” Iris stood and lifted up her skirt.
The
reaction was instantaneous. Blood shot from Kevin’s nose with
the power of a fire hydrant. The chair tipped over from the force of
the crimson jet stream, causing him to also topple over. He landed on
his back, his head cracking against the hard tile floor. Good thing
he was already unconscious due to blood depletion, or that would have
probably hurt.
“Inari
blessed! Beloved!”
“Fufufu.
That was too easy.”
“IRIS!”
***
Kotohime
was washing the dishes when the doorbell rang. She ignored it in
favor of continuing her task. Kirihime, who’d been hanging up
the laundry, answered the door instead.
The
woman standing on the other side was completely unknown to her. Light
brown hair in a short bob-cut adorned her head. The sleeveless pink
shirt donning her figure was loose enough that a casual glance would
not reveal the slight plumpness of her form. A long white skirt
traveled down to her ankles.
Ever
the demure young woman, Kirihime clasped her hands in front of her
and offered a somewhat shy smile. “Good morning, ma’am.
Can I help you?”
The
woman didn’t say anything for the longest time. She just
stared. It was very disturbing.
“Um,”
Kirihime fidgeted nervously, “ma’am?”
“You
are… a maid?”
“Y-yes,
I am.”
“A
French maid.”
“We-well,
technically I’m from Japan, so…”
“Kevin
has a maid.”
“Uh…
n-not quite.” Kirihime hastened to correct the woman. “I
am Lady Iris’s maid.”
“Lady
Iris?” The woman squinted at her, as if doing so might reveal
the secrets of the multiverse. “And who, may I ask, is ‘Lady
Iris?’”
Kirhime
shrunk under the woman’s gaze. “Um, ah, Lady Iris is Lady
Lilian’s sister.”
“Oh…”
Kirihime
squirmed as the woman continued to stare. A cold sweat broke out on
her forehead. She wanted to look away from this woman, but that would
have been impolite. All she could do was stand there and pray for a
miracle.
“Hey,
Kirihime,” Kevin suddenly walked into the living room, “what
are you doing standing in front of the―urk!”
“Kevin!”
Using
her greater size, the woman pushed Kirihime out of the way and
bum-rushed the poor boy like an otaku on a hug pillow. Kevin barely
had time to squeak before the woman was on him, wrapping her thick
arms around his head and shoving his face into her bosoms.
“Kevin!
Just look at how much you’ve grown! And are those muscles I
feel? They are! Oh, you’ve become delicious enough to eat!”
“Mrrphggrlllle!”
“Yes,
yes, you’ve become such a big, strong boy!”
“MMPPPHHH!”
“What’s
with all the noise?” An irritated Iris stepped into the living
room. She stopped upon seeing Kevin being smothered by a large
woman’s breasts. A smirk lit her face. “Fufufu, it seems
even older women can’t resist you, Stud.”
“Mm
mmff mmph mff mmph!” Kevin’s screams were unintelligible,
but somehow, Iris managed to make something out of them.
“I
don’t know if I should,” Iris said, sounding uncertain.
The grin on her face belied her supposed apprehension. “I mean,
you look so comfortable.”
“Mrrrmmph!!”
“Iris,”
Lilian called out as she waltzed into the living room with a bounce
in her step. “What’s with all the―WHAT ARE YOU
DOING TO MY MATE?!”
“Your
mate?” The large woman squinted suspiciously at the redhead.
Her eyes soon lit up in recognition, however, and she snorted
derisively. “Ah, you must be Lilian. The one who stole Kevin
away from my daughter.”
“Daughter?”
It took several seconds for Lilian to realize what those words meant.
“You’re Lindsay’s mom!” Only then did she
properly compute the rest of the woman’s words. “And I
did not steal Kevin from anyone. He chose to be with me of his own
volition. Now get your hands off him!”
“Hmph!
Why would I do that?” Mrs. Diane’s grip on Kevin
tightened, pushing him further into her bust. Kevin’s squirming
and struggling reached a zenith. “Kevin has always appreciated
my affection, especially since his mother has never given him enough
love. Isn’t that right, Kevin?”
“MMMPH
mmm Mhppphh Mmmgglllrr!”
“He’s
not even trying to make sense anymore,” Iris noted.
“Mmmpph
mmmm!”
“Now
that’s not a very nice thing to say.”
“Let
go of my mate!”
“I
think not.”
“Let
go of him right this instant!”
“No.”
Over
on the sidelines, Kirihime, Kotohime and Camellia watched the odd
conversation between Lilian, Mrs. Diane, Iris and Kevin. Although,
none of them were quite sure if the conversation between Iris and
Kevin could truly be called a conversation… and Kevin just
went limp.
“D-do
you think we should tell Mrs. Diane that Lord Kevin has passed out?”
a worried Kirihime nervously wrung her hands together.
“Hawa.”
“We
probably should,” Kotohime agreed, “but I am positive
that Lilian-sama will notice soon enough.”
“BELOVED!!”
Kotohime
nodded conclusively. “There you go.”
***
Lilian
and Iris sat in the back seat of Mrs. Diane’s car.
It
had taken a long while to pry the large woman off of Kevin, and it
had taken even longer to leave. Lilian had been adamant on saying
goodbye to her mate and refused to go anywhere until he had woken up.
It was most fortunate that he’d become used to
asphyxiation-induced unconsciousness. He had regained consciousness
mere minutes after nearly suffocating to death.
Well,
that, and Kevin and Lilian’s goodbye—along with the
argument that had ensued between Lilian and Mrs. Diane about
propriety afterward. The plump woman apparently didn’t approve
of the intense, open-mouthed kiss, complete with tongue action, that
Lilian had given Kevin.
“What
an indecent display!” she had said.
Strange
words coming from a woman who had shoved a teenage boy’s head
between her breasts.
Iris
watched the scenery pass by in a blur. Sighing, she tucked a strand
of raven hair behind her ear and turned to look at Lilian. Her
beautiful, red-haired sister looked incredibly depressed. Her
shoulders were slumped, her eyes were downcast, and she was twiddling
her thumbs in her lap. Iris wouldn’t have been surprised if it
had started raining over the girl’s head.
Smiling
slyly, Iris slid over to her sister and promptly squeezed the
Celestial Kitsune’s right boob.
“Kya!”
Mrs.
Diane looked into the rear view mirror upon hearing Lilian’s
squeal. When she did, her nose wrinkled in disgust and she went back
to driving.
Lilian’s
face turned beet red.
“I-Iris!”
she hissed, covering her breasts protectively with her arms. “What
are you doing?”
“I
just wanted to make sure you were still my sister.” Smiling
with devious intent, Iris’s right hand made creepy squeezing
motions not all that dissimilar to those of a certain perverted butt
monkey. “Yep, you’re definitely still her.”
Lilian
flushed and looked away. “W-whatever.”
“What’s
got you so down, Lily-pad?”
Lilian
glared at her sister for using that accursed nickname. “Nothing.”
“Oh,
please.” Iris rolled her eyes. “I know you better than
you seem to think I do. I can tell when something is bothering you.”
Her left arm went around Lilian’s shoulder. “Now what’s
on your mind?”
Shoulders
slumping, Lilian looked down at her sandal-clad feet. “I just…
I miss… Kevin…”
“By
Inari’s rotting testicles.” Iris groaned. “It’s
only been ten minutes since you left him. You can’t possibly be
missing him so soon.” When Lilian’s shoulders slumped
further, Iris used her free hand to palm her face. “By Inari’s
hairy ball sack, you need to get a life outside of your mate.”
“I
don’t need a life outside of my mate,” Lilian argued. The
look Iris gave her in return made the redhead awfully uncomfortable.
“Yes,
you do. You need a life, and I’m not just saying that because I
don’t want Kevin’s dirty mitts touching you.”
“I
so don’t need to hear this from you.”
“Sa,
sa, don’t be so down.” Iris pulled her struggling sister
closer. “Your mate might not be here, but your dear
onee-chan
is.”
Lilian
looked askance at her sister. “Who the heck is
onee-chan
?”
Iris
was just about to answer her sister with a sassy remark—a
rather good one, too, if she did say so herself—when something
powerful struck the car with enough force that the vehicle was lifted
into the air and flipped around like a pinwheel.