But
now, none of that mattered! Because he was going to finally see a
pair of real-live breasts!
“Hell,
yeah! Bring on the boobies!”
he
shouted.
“Did
you hear that?!”
Eric
clamped a hand over his mouth.
“Like,
it sounded like a shout!”
“You
don’t
think…?”
“I
do.”
Eric
“eeped!”
when
the door to his locker was suddenly and violently wrenched open. A
hand grabbed a fistful of his hair and yanked him out. The young
pervert went tumbling to the ground, where he soon found himself
surrounded by a bunch of angry females in various states of undress.
“Any
last words?”
one
of the girls asked, cracking her knuckles.
“I
regret nothing!”
“Wrong.
Answer.”
Five
minutes later a bruised, battered and thoroughly beaten Eric lay on
the ground, twitching and groaning in pain. He looked like, well,
like a bunch of women had unleashed their Righteous Female Fury upon
him. His cheeks were swollen like a chipmunk whose mouth was full of
acorns, and both of his eyes were black. His left eye looked worse,
as it was swollen completely shut and beginning to turn purple. He
was also missing several teeth and had a split lip that bled
profusely.
Standing
above him, hands on her hips and the most amused smirk quirking her
lips, was none other than Heather Grant.
“So…
was
it worth it?”
Eric
groaned in pain, but was still able to slowly raise his shaky left
hand into the air, where he gave a thumbs up…
and
then let it drop back to the floor with a dull thud.
Heather
nodded approvingly. “Good
man.”
***
From
the moment the plane took off, Iris had decided that she absolutely
hated flying. There was just something unsettling about the whole
thing. Maybe it was the knowledge that she was hundreds if not
thousands feet above ground, or maybe it had something to do with how
the plane would jostle and shake whenever they hit turbulence. Either
way, she decided right then and there that flying sucked.
Iris
sat in the seat closest to the aisle. No way in hell was she getting
anywhere near the window. Kirihime sat beside her, humming a gentle
tune to herself as she flipped through the pages of a magazine,
which, judging from the front cover, was about knives. After reading
over Kirihime’s
shoulder in an effort to distract herself, Iris shuddered and looked
away, disturbed by the maid’s
fascination with pointy objects. Over by the window, Camellia had her
face pressed against the glass, gazing at the vast sea of clouds with
a child’s
curiosity.
Trying
to ignore the way her stomach flip-flopped the longer she stayed in
this death machine, Iris swallowed the bile attempting to rise in her
throat and closed her eyes.
Within
the darkness of her mind, an image appeared, of a beautiful girl with
hair the color of crimson flames and eyes that sparkled brighter than
a pair of emeralds.
Wait
for me, Lilian. We
’
ll
be reunited again soon.
Chapter
2
Not
All Surprises Are Good
“So,
how is it?”
Kevin
looked at Alex, blinking several times as he processed his friend’s
words. “How is what?”
Alex
rolled his eyes, as if amazed by Kevin’s ignorance. “Don’t
give me that ‘how is what?’
crap.
How is dating Lilian, like, really dating Lilian and not that weird
runaround thing you two were doing before?”
Kevin’s
cheeks flushed a dark shade of crimson as he opened his locker.
“W-why do you want to know about something like that?”
Alex
gave his friend a flat stare. “Are you seriously asking that?
After over two months of listening to you claim that you didn’t
like her, you’re finally dating Lilian. You can’t expect
me to not be curious.”
As
his other friends nodded, Kevin conceded that Alex had a point. If
their positions were reversed, he’d probably be curious, too.
He
paused halfway through getting changed. His track pants were on, but
his shirt remained in his hands.
“It’s…
pretty
amazing, actually.”
His
blush didn’t recede, but a soft smile did appear on his face as
he thought about Lilian. “She’s a really amazing girl,
you know? She’s vibrant, fun, cheerful, and is always
optimistic about everything. She’s like…
like
a bright ray of sunshine. Everything just seems so much more vibrant
whenever she’s around.”
“Don’t
forget she’s also hot,”
Andrew
added.
“There’s
that, too,”
Kevin
conceded. While more interested in Lilian as a person, he would be
stupid to deny her general…well…hotness. The two-tails
was, quite frankly, one of the hottest examples of the female species
he’d ever seen. Oh sure, Kotohime was really
attractive--gorgeous even--and she had a mature air about her that
Lilian lacked, but she also carried a katana and wore a kimono
everywhere she went. Plus, she scared the crap out of him.
Kevin
put his shirt on and began lacing up his shoes. “Sometimes, I
feel almost like I’m living in a dream, you know? I’m
always expecting to wake up one day and discover that none of this
ever happened.”
It
wouldn’t have been a hard thing to do, considering all the
crazy stuff that had happened to him in the past two and a half
months. His life had been one zany disaster after another ever since
Lilian’s arrival. He felt almost like one of those harem
protagonists in a shōnen romantic comedy.
Which
was, of course, patently ridiculous. He wasn’t some kind of
shōnen manga protagonist, no matter what crazy things Lilian or
Kotohime said to the contrary…
…
Right?
“Listen
to you, bragging about your love life,”
Chase
scoffed. “From the way you keep talking about Lilian these
days, you’d think she was the greatest chick in the entire
universe.”
Kevin’s
blush receded as he finished tying his shoes. “Well, if there
was a contest for greatest woman in the universe, she’d
definitely have my vote.”
“Whatever,”
Chase
grumbled. “For someone who used to be so hung up on Lindsay,
you’ve become awfully lovey-dovey with a girl you claimed to
not like two weeks ago. What changed your mind?”
Kevin
shrugged as he, Alex, Andrew and Chase made their way out of the
locker room with the other track members. “I couldn’t
say. I guess it’s just, well, maybe I just realized that
Lindsay wasn’t the only amazing girl out there. Like, there are
more fish in the sea, or something, you know?”
“Expanding
your horizons.”
“Studying
abroad.”
“Searching
the market.”
“…
Women….”
Everyone
stopped talking and stared at Justin very oddly for a second…
…
And
then went back to their conversation.
“You
know, I just realized something.”
Kevin
turned his head left and right, searching for something that wasn’t
there. Or rather, someone who wasn’t there. “Eric still
hasn’t joined us.”
Alex,
along with his fraternal twin brother and Chase, also scanned the
area. “Huh? You’re right. That’s really weird. I
mean, Eric is a pretty unreliable guy at times, especially if he’s
given the choice between perving on women or hanging out with
friends, but he’d never miss a track meet, and he definitely
wouldn’t miss out on the last one of the season. Where do you
think he is?”
As
if summoned by their words, a loud, familiar voice shouted from
behind them.
“LOOK
OUT, EVERYONE!!! COMING THROUGH!!”
And
then another voice shouted, this one female.
“IF
YOU PEOPLE DON’T WANNA GET FLATTENED, YOU’D BETTER MOVE
OUT OF THE WAY!”
The
entire male track team looked behind them to see Eric and…was
that Heather Grant? Yes, it was. Their new PE assistant coach was
also running down the hallway, and there was a large cloud of what
looked like dust chasing after them.
Everyone
present jumped away, their backs pressing against the wall, just as
the two ran past them.
“There
they are!”
“Get
them!”
“Hurry
up! Don’t let them get away!”
“Come
back here, you stupid perverts!”
“I
can’t believe we trusted you!”
“KILL
THEM!!!”
Before
anyone could even think about relaxing, the track team was forced
back against the wall as a horde of outraged teenage girls rushed by.
Several drops of sweat rolled down Kevin’s face as he noticed
that every girl was carrying some kind of household appliance: a
broom, a mop, a rake, a strange pole thing, and…
“Holy
shit! Is that chick carrying a claymore?!”
Kevin
nearly did a double take when he saw that one of the girls rushing
past them was, indeed, carrying a claymore: a two-handed longsword
with a cross hilt of forward-sloping quillons with quatrefoil
terminations. The weapon was gigantic, literally a foot or so longer
than the girl was tall. That she carried it so easily spoke much of
her strength, or her anger, or both.
Angry
women tended to gain a substantial increase in strength proportionate
to how upset they were. It was one of the basic laws of shōnen
manga.
“Is
that a prop? Please tell me that’s a prop!”
“I
don’t know…
it
looks pretty real to me.”
“B-but
just look that that thing! It’s huge! And look at the way she’s
carrying it! There’s no way a waif of a girl like that could
possibly carry a real sword that large!”
Kevin
had to agree. Claymores were heavy. While he didn’t know
exactly how much they weighed, he knew that a full-tang steel
claymore was, at the very least, somewhere around 60 to 80 pounds, if
not heavier. It was probably a prop of some kind—although he
couldn’t recall ever seeing a prop like that being used in any
of their school’s plays.
Maybe
that girl’s a fan of Claire and that’s just her cosplay
sword…
yeah,
that’s gotta be it. No way someone would be carrying around a
real claymore like that.
The
horde of murderous teenage girls dwindled down to a trickle before
ceasing altogether. Alex, Andrew, Chase and Kevin all looked at each
other with matching “WTF?”
expressions.
“So,
what do you think that was about?”
Alex
asked.
“No
idea,”
Chase
muttered, staring at the last place they’d seen the girl
wielding the giant claymore.
Kevin
shook his head. “I don’t think I want to know.”
“…
Peeping…”
Once
again, Justin received nothing but odd looks, even though, for once,
the group completely agreed with him.
***
“Ha…
ha….
I think…
we
lost them…”
Eric
was hunched over on his hands and knees, breathing heavily as if he’d
just run a marathon—or been chased by a horde of angry teenage
girls. Sweat dripped down his brow and his shoulders heaved as he
tried to regulate his breathing.
He
looked at his partner in crime, the gorgeous blond teacher whose
lecherous streak was even wider than his own, and he couldn’t
help but wonder: where had this woman been all his life? Why had she
just revealed herself to him now? If only they had met sooner!
Unlike
Eric, who looked ready to keel over, Heather hadn’t broken a
sweat. She appeared right as rain and ready to bolt at a moment’s
notice. “Hmm…
I
don’t know. We women are a tenacious bunch, especially when
angered. Trust me. I’ve been doing this for years.”
“Wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait!”
Catching
his second wind, Eric stared at the woman in shock. “You mean
to tell me that you’ve been peeping on girls in the locker room
for years? Seriously?!”
Heather’s
chest swelled with pride. “Of course! I’ve been peeping
for years for my research and inspiration!”
“Research?
Inspiration?”
“That’s
right. You see, I am not just a pervert who enjoys peeping on women
in the locker rooms. Everything I do is for the sake of my art.”
Heather
held a clenched fist up to her face. “I am the trailblazer,
paving the way for men and women everywhere who enjoy reading about
sexy shenanigans and bouncing boobies! I am an author! A writer of
erotica! Peeping is my passion and writing is my craft, and I will
hone both until I become a master!”
By
the end of her speech, Heather had raised her clenched right fist
into the air. The fire in her eyes, the physical manifestation of her
determination and lustful desires, had turned into a raging inferno.
Bright orange flames surrounded her body, a conflagration wreathing
her in a strange, Saiyan-esque blaze of energy derived from her own
perverse intentions.
Eric
was in awe. This woman was truly a pervert among perverts. And she
was a woman to boot! A hot woman! That alone caused her Pervy Power
Levels to rise past 9,000!
Eric
bowed before this messiah, getting down on his hands and knees,
bowing so low that his nose scraped the tiled floor. “Oh, great
and powerful one, please take me under your wing! I wish to learn
your ways! Please share your knowledge with me!”
Heather
smiled benevolently. “Very well. Rise, my young apprentice.
Rise and follow me into the world of perversity and peeping! It is
only through me that you shall become a master!”
“Yes!”
The
newly appointed master and apprentice smiled at each other, glad to
have finally found someone they could share their salacious antics
with.
This
moment of bonding, which would have been touching had the pair’s
antics not been borderline criminal, was interrupted when a horde of
furious females turned a corner.
“There
they are! Get ‘em, girls!”
“Oh,
god! They found us! Run for it!”
As
Eric and Heather began to run, the blond-haired assistant PE coach
turned to her apprentice.