Read A Gift of Time (The Nine Minutes Trilogy Book 3) Online
Authors: Beth Flynn
Ginny
2001,
Fort Lauderdale
Of course, I’d
been wrong. The heart, I learned, was a
resilient little muscle that wouldn’t give up, even when I wanted to. Its
steady beat was in total opposition to my emotional ups and downs, though more
downs than ups in those weeks following Tommy’s death.
I thanked
the Lord every day for the gift of His presence and my children. In Him and in
them, I found my strength to get up every morning.
Alec spent
one afternoon with me as we went through Tommy’s home office. He quietly
excused himself as I sat on the leather couch and cried into the two homemade
potholders Tommy had put back in his desk. Alec knew he was intruding on a
personal moment, and he returned fifteen minutes later with two mugs of coffee
and a cold washcloth for me to wipe my face.
He sat next
to me and shared stories from the office. Stories I’d never heard. We could
hear the three boys playing in Jason’s room above us. Alec did the same thing
when it came time to clean out Tommy’s personal things from Dillon & Davis
Architects. He was a strong and steady friend, and I realized I’d started to
rely on him not only for his friendship, but for Jason, as well. Alec and his
boys were so good to Jason who, like me, would break down without warning.
I don’t know
how much time had passed when Carter showed up on my doorstep one day.
“Let’s walk
while it’s still nice weather. I heard we’re going to have an unusually hot
spring,” she told me, offering her arm.
I knew what
this was about, and I wasn’t ready to face it.
“No. I don’t
feel like walking,” I said, my voice sour. “I know what you want. You want to
tell me he’s back, and he’s been waiting for me. So I guess he’s waited long
enough, and he sent you over here with orders for me to meet him.”
“Uh, no,
that’s not why I’m here at all, and before you say any more,
remember—you’re the one who summoned him. You wore the bandana.”
“Well.
I—I didn’t mean to. I happened to be wearing a ponytail that night, and
the bandana went with my jeans and top, and I forgot it was a way for you to
signal him.”
Carter
looked at me sideways. “You are still the lousiest liar I know, Ginny.”
I looked at
the ground. “Well, it doesn’t matter now why I wore it. I told you that day at
the hospital it was a false alarm, and the kids and I aren’t in any danger. He
can go away. And—and tell him he can absolve you from your duty. I won’t
be sending any more signals. Ever.”
I thrust my
chin in the air.
“If that’s
what you really want, then I’ll get the message to him. But Gin, I’m here for
one reason only. I’m here because I love you, and I know everybody has gone
back to their lives. I really do just want to see if you want to take a walk
with me. That’s all. No ulterior motives.”
She smiled
at me. And after a few moments, I couldn’t help but smile back. Of course, that
was why she was here. This was Carter.
She came
inside and waited for me to put on my sneakers. I ran up the stairs. But as I
did, I realized I still wondered one thing: why Grizz had made no effort to try
to see me.
It was so
unlike him and, after all, I had worn the bandana.
Grizz
2001,
Fort Lauderdale
It was the
hardest thing he’d done since telling her to
marry Tommy all those years ago. Staying away from her was pure torture. Not
knowing why she’d worn the bandana. Not knowing why she’d summoned him.
Carter
couldn’t offer an explanation. She could only confirm that Ginny wasn’t in
danger. He was relieved to know that, but still.
He had to
let the weeks pass. Had to stay away. She was surrounded by too many people,
too much activity. And who the fuck was that guy from the funeral?
Grizz had
finally made himself known to Anthony Bear. After recovering from the shock of
seeing his dead friend, and knowing better than to ask him the whys or hows of
the situation, Anthony helped him settle back into society as James Kirkland.
They both knew there were people out there living among society who were
thought to be dead to the world, people who’d been murdered or died in
accidents or disappeared and were presumed dead. Even people who’d been put to
death. It wasn’t as hard as one might think. People didn’t recognize the dead
among the living because they weren’t looking for them. The only exception, of
course, was Elvis. And everybody knew he was really dead. Wasn’t he?
So that’s
what he and Anthony decided would be best. At least for now, Grizz would live
in plain sight as James Kirkland. But, hiding in plain sight didn't mean he
would put himself out there. Grizz rarely left his house, but he needed to keep
himself busy. Since Anthony had moved over to this coast, he'd disassociated
himself with his West coast gang and appeared to be running a legitimate
landscaping business. It would be on one of these crews where Grizz would find
employment. Since Anthony didn't employ anyone from his past, there would be no
chance of Grizz running into one of his or Anthony's old gang members. With his
hair up beneath a baseball cap and dark sunglasses on most of the time, Grizz
did his best to look like the guy next door. He’d even had some of his more
memorable and identifiable tattoos changed while still in prison and in spite
of the heat, even took to occasionally wearing long sleeve T-shirts in the
hopes of drawing less attention to them.
He thought
he’d hate it, being an average Joe, but he didn’t. Anthony put him on a small
crew of barely-English-speaking hard workers. No punks. No troublemakers. Just
decent, hardworking men trying to earn an honest living. Their small crew was
always assigned to work on homes on several acres and far away from the
bustling and crowded neighborhoods. Grizz put on his sunscreen, ball cap, and
sunglasses and rode the mower most of the day. Since discovering his love of
reading in prison, he always wore earphones and would listen to books on CD.
He avoided
listening to his rock music. It got under his skin and would stir up old
memories and make him anxious. For what, he wasn’t sure. He was already
restless enough. Waiting. For her.
“His name is
Alec Davis,” Anthony had told him one day. They were having lunch beneath the
shade of a large tree. Anthony checked in daily with each of his crews, always
making sure to show up on Grizz’s jobsites around lunchtime where they would
set themselves apart from the rest of the workers and talk.
“Tommy made
him a partner years ago. Can’t find anything on him, Grizz—err, James.”
Anthony
didn’t have to call him James when they were alone, but he did it anyway to
help retrain his mind so he didn’t slip up in the future.
“He’s
legally separated and has sole custody of his kids. You saw them at the
funeral. They’re close to Jason’s age. He has a decent amount of change in the
bank, no debt, no vices that my guy could find.”
Anthony
noticed the muscles in Grizz’s jaw tighten.
“Does he
have a girlfriend?”
“No,”
Anthony said, and quickly added, “And there’s no boyfriend, either. It’s just
him and his boys. Like I said, he’s separated from his wife, but not divorced.”
“Handsome,
devoted father, no problems with money, drugs, or anything else. Why do you
suppose he doesn’t have a woman in his life?” Grizz’s irritation was starting
to show. “And has he seen Ginny since the funeral?”
“Several
times,” Anthony said. “Never alone, though. The kids are always with them. At
least that’s what’s been reported back to me.”
Grizz knew
why Alec didn’t have a girlfriend. He was interested in Ginny, and Grizz knew
Anthony knew it, too, though Anthony would never voice it. He would put his
friend’s mind at ease.
“Don’t
worry, Bear,” Grizz said. “I’m not going to do anything stupid.” At least not
yet. “Now. Tell me what the word on the street is about the guy who shot
Tommy.”
Anthony
explained how the police hadn’t found the man yet, but Anthony’s guys had.
Grizz was surprised Blue hadn’t heard this and reported it back to his
detective girlfriend. There should’ve been an arrest by now.
“Can’t say.
I know Blue’s been trying to keep his nose clean. Your old crew’s been
floundering a bit. Looking for someone to be in charge. Blue told me you gave
him your permission to walk away before your execution. Maybe he doesn’t want
to be involved. Last time I saw him, he told me something about Jan’s murder. Something
you should know.”
Anthony
explained the details of a conversation he’d had with Blue shortly after Jan’s
body was found.
“Really?”
Grizz asked, the dismay in his voice evident.
“Yeah,
really.”
Grizz
nodded. “Tell me about the guy who shot Tommy.”
Grizz
listened without interrupting as Anthony explained that, too.
“So it
wasn’t a hit? It was really a fucking random act of violence and Tommy was in
the wrong place at the wrong time?”
“It wasn’t
planned. It was a junkie looking for a fix. I’m sure of it. What do you want me
to do with him?”
He didn’t
have to ask Grizz this. He didn’t have to seek out a specific order, but
respect from days gone by took precedence. This was still Grizz’s territory,
whether he was alive to claim it or not.
“I can have
it handled any way you want. Just say the word and it’ll be done.”
The old
Grizz would’ve handled the man himself. The old Grizz wouldn’t have shown
mercy. The old Grizz would’ve consoled himself with the fact that what Ginny
didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her.
He asked
himself what Ginny would want.
“Make sure
the police find him and let them deal with him,” he told a stunned Anthony as
he finished his sandwich in silence.
Then he
stood up and headed for the lawnmower.
Anthony
watched Grizz walk toward his mower, climb on, and ride away. Anthony had made
an executive decision not to tell his old friend something else he’d heard. Not
on the street, but from one of his own sons.
He knew if
Grizz was going to survive in society, he’d have to stay clean, and if Anthony
told Grizz what he’d heard about what had been done to Mimi, it would only be a
matter of time before things blew up and out of control. He needed to figure
out a way to get Grizz out of South Florida and away from anything remotely
connected to crime. Besides, the longer Grizz stayed around, whether hiding in
plain sight or not, the odds would eventually be against him never being
recognized.
Fuck. He
hated complications. He looked at his watch, realized he was running late. He
had to get home and shower so he could be at Daisy’s school for a
parent-teacher conference. If he missed another one, Christy would read him the
riot act.
Ginny
2001,
Fort Lauderdale
The weeks slowly
turned into months, and before long we fell
into our ordinary family routine. Well, as ordinary as it could be. I didn’t go
back to work, but instead filled my days with attending every activity Mimi and
Jason were involved in, as well as volunteering for different charitable
organizations.
Alec
suggested that if I was interested he would terminate the accountant they used
at Dillon & Davis and I could immerse myself back in a job that I loved.
Even though he meant well, I let him know I didn’t want a perfectly capable
accountant to lose a source of income because of me. Besides, I needed to
distance myself from Tommy’s work. It was too painful.
It was a
Wednesday morning, and I stood now at the shooting range taking careful aim at
the target. I fired off all twelve rounds, maintaining a two-inch grouping from
a twenty-five-foot distance. I had to battle my inner demons that wanted to
pretend I was aiming at Tommy’s murderer. They’d finally arrested the man
responsible. Tommy’s murderer. The words just didn’t ring true. It still didn’t
seem real, but I knew from the profound sense of grief I’d been living through
with my children that it was all too real.
I ached for
my husband, and I willed myself not to think about the man who’d stood behind
me more than twenty years ago, his massive tattooed arms holding my hands steady,
as I took my first shot.
Grizz.
I’d been to
Carter’s house a few times since Tommy’s death. I always made sure I had one or
both of the kids with me. Yes, it was nice that friends were stepping in and
including them in family activities, but I made sure to spend as much time as
possible with my children. I felt responsible for their healing and was
noticing that I was healing, too. Helping at Carter’s was good for all of us. I
especially enjoyed the physical exhaustion that came with attending to her zoo.
She caught
me eyeing the garage one day as I pumped water into the horse’s trough. Jason
had run into the house to use the bathroom. Mimi had to work that day and
wasn’t with us.
Without
looking at me, Carter said matter-of-factly, “He’s not there.”
“I didn’t
think he was,” I said a little too quickly.
But I wasn’t
being truthful. I’d wondered more than I cared to admit where Grizz had been
living, though I tried not to think of Grizz, whether it was with anger or some
other thing I wouldn’t allow myself to identify. It felt like a disloyalty to
Tommy.
Neither one
of us said anything, and my curiosity finally got the best of me.
“But he was
there, though. Right? When he first came back?” I tried to act casual but I
could feel my pulse quickening. Was it my unresolved anger? Or something else?
“No, Ginny.
He didn’t stay here. I don’t know where he stayed.”
“Stayed? You
mean, he’s gone?”
She stopped
what she was doing and stared hard at me.
“You told me
to tell him to go away. I sent him your message and haven’t heard from him
since. I’m assuming he followed your wishes.”
I was a bit
shocked. This certainly didn’t sound like the Grizz I’d known. He never did
anything anybody told him.
I cocked my
head. “Do you think he’s really gone, Carter?”
“Do you care?”
I caught
myself then, whirled, and made a beeline toward her barn.
“Of course,
I don’t care,” I called back over my shoulder.
I made sure
I had my back to her as I charged off. I didn’t want her to read any doubt that
may have been in my eyes. I didn’t want her to be able to see what may have
been buried deep in my heart, especially if I couldn’t even see it or
understand it myself.
**********
Two days later, I sat amongst
the throng of other parents and friends watching Mimi perform at her piano recital.
I told her she didn’t have to perform, but she was adamant that she wanted to
do it for her father, and we both knew Tommy wouldn’t have wanted her to miss
it. He was the one who’d originally encouraged her to take piano lessons. I’d
tried to teach her how to play guitar, but she never quite took to it. Tommy
had noticed her infatuation with the piano at our church and had a piano
delivered to our home for Mimi’s eighth birthday.
After she
finished and the applause came to a stop, she stood then and faced the
audience.
“Mr. Dolan
said I could play one more. This one is for my father. He loves this song, and
he especially loves the end, the piano solo.”
She then
played the piano piece at the end of “Layla,” by Derek and the Dominos. She
played with a passion I’d never seen. The pounding of the keys resonated
through the room, and before I knew it, it was over and the audience was
standing, their applause becoming more and more frenzied before finally dying
down. And I realized I’d been listening to it with warm and happy memories of
Tommy. I wasn’t sobbing and falling apart.
Jason turned
to me and beamed.
“Mimi’s
right. That is one of Dad’s favorite songs!”
I loved how
neither Mimi or Jason said it was one of Tommy’s favorite songs, or that it
used to be one of Tommy’s favorites. Instead, they spoke in the present tense.
They said it because they didn’t see their father as gone and out of our lives.
They knew Tommy would always be with us.
I was
finally healing. We were all healing.
Even before
Tommy’s death I’d noticed Mimi suggested more and more that we spend time as a
family with the Bears. I figured out pretty early on that she was doing her
best to hide the fact that she was crushing hard on Christy and Anthony’s
oldest son, eighteen-year-old Slade. The few times we did see them and Slade
happened to join us, he seemed nice to Mimi, but I couldn’t tell if his
politeness translated to interest.
I asked
Christy about it.
“Do you
think there’s something going on between Mimi and Slade?” I asked her one day
over the phone.
“I’m not
certain,” she said. “I haven’t heard anything from this end, but of course, he
doesn’t live at home anymore, so I probably wouldn’t know. Have you asked her?”
“I have.
Mimi said he was so nice to her at the hospital, and he always seems friendly
the few times we’ve seen you guys, but she doesn’t know if he’s interested. I
think she may be on the brink of a crush or something, Christy. I’m not sure
how to handle it or if there’s anything that even needs handling. Would
Christian know?”
I realized
then how ridiculous I sounded. I might as well have been sitting at the sixth
grade lunch table passing notes.
“Well, if
Christian knows anything about whether or not his brother has feelings for
Mimi, I doubt he’d say. He’s just like his father used to be,” she said
laughing. “He walks around with some kind of invisible chip on his shoulder
hating everyone and everything. I’m so afraid he’s leaning more toward the life
we’ve put behind us. Makes me wonder if something like this can actually be in
your genes.”
Our
conversation went from Mimi’s possible crush to Christy’s own concerns about
Christian. I couldn’t comment. I hadn’t seen Christian since that day at the
hospital, and that was only briefly in the waiting room. He’d not come to the
few gatherings we’d had since then.
A week later
I noticed a change in Mimi’s attitude. I’d been right about her developing
feelings toward Slade.
“And he
turned you down?” I asked her.
We were in
the kitchen making dinner together. Alec was bringing Jason back from a
carnival, and I’d invited him and his boys to have dinner with us.
“Yeah, I
guess you could say that.” The disappointment was evident in her voice as she
tossed a salad.
“Did he tell
you he just didn’t have time or wasn’t interested?”
Mimi told me
she’d texted Slade and asked if he had time if he could give her some driving
lessons. She would be sixteen this year and would be able to get her license. I
wasn’t looking forward to Mimi driving. The thought of getting her a car seemed
like a huge undertaking. Not from a financial perspective, but from a personal
one. I always thought Tommy would be taking her out to test-drive vehicles, not
me.
“Well, first
he seemed surprised I didn’t know how to drive. He asked me why I hadn’t taken
Driver’s Ed. He felt bad when I told him I didn’t take it because Dad always
told me he would teach me, but then of course, with you moving out last year
and all the problems we were having, it never happened.”
She didn’t
say this with any intention of blame or trying to make me feel guilty. She was
just stating facts.
“Then he
suggested maybe Christian could teach me. Christian!”
I looked
over at her then and realized she was right. That was definitely Slade’s way of
letting Mimi down. The words were out before I could stop them.
“Well,
what’s wrong with asking Christian?”
She huffed
out a breath. “I haven’t seen Christian since that day at the hospital, and God
only knows how long it was before then. He just seems, I don’t know, he seems
mad at someone. He kept looking at me that day with those icy blue eyes of his.
He didn’t even say anything. Just sat there and stared.”
I couldn’t
believe I was taking up for Christian, especially after what Christy had told
me, but could not seem to help myself.
“Maybe he
just needs a friend. You know, you used to be close when you were little. You
used to play wedding with him.”
She rolled
her eyes. “Ugh, Mom! Could you please not remind me of that? I was, what, maybe
five years old?”
I started to
smile and was taking the casserole out of the oven when she added, “I wonder if
I did ask Christian, and he said yes, if it might make Slade even a little bit
jealous.”
I looked at
her seriously. “I’m sure to your fifteen-year-old brain that sounds like a
solid plan, but I will tell you now, Mimi, it’s not a good idea. Please don’t
do that, honey. Don’t use Christian. You wouldn’t like it if somebody used
you.”
I thought I
saw her flinch, and our conversation was interrupted when Jason came barreling
in, Alec and his boys right behind him.
Alec held up
some movies he’d rented and said as I laid the casserole on the table, “I
picked up some flicks I thought the boys would enjoy. I was thinking if it
wasn’t too much of an imposition that maybe Mimi wouldn’t mind staying here
with the kids after we eat and letting me take you to a jazz club for a couple
of hours. Just get you out of the house for some adult interaction, Ginny.”
“Uh, thanks,
but I don’t like jazz,” I said without looking up at him. I was suddenly very
focused on my kitchen counter.
He laughed.
“Well, it doesn’t have to be jazz. We can certainly find a club with another
type of music.”
“Um. I don’t
like clubs, and really, I have plenty of adult interaction.”
The kids
were too busy jabbering with each other to notice the exchange, but Mimi
noticed.
“Ginny,” he
whispered. “I know what you’re thinking. I’m not suggesting we go on a date.
I’m suggesting you join me, as a friend, to listen to some music and maybe even
enjoy a glass of wine. I know you have adult interaction, but it’s always
because you’re volunteering somewhere. Doing something for someone else. I was
thinking maybe you’d like some time to actually enjoy yourself.”
He paused
then, and I realized Alec was either always working or taking care of his
children. I wasn’t certain, but since he was the sole caregiver of his kids, I
doubted he had much of a social life. Maybe he’s the one who needs a friend.
No sooner
had I thought it than he added, “I know I could use some adult companionship.”
Before I
could reply, Mimi chimed in, “Mom, go. I’ll stay with the kids.”
This was
Alec. The same man who’d been Tommy’s partner for years. The same man I’d come
to rely on in recent months. The same man who never gave one hint of anything
that didn’t resemble friendship.
I nodded and
sat down at the table to eat dinner. Yes, I would go.