Authors: Keith Thomas Walker
She leaned forward with her elbows on her knees. Her whole body was racked with sorrow. Delia sat right next to her, but she didn’t put an arm around her or even a comforting hand on her shoulder. Candace rocked back and forth like an Alzheimer’s patient.
“CC wanna know how much money y’all got stacked up,” Delia said.
Candace looked at her like she was speaking Spanish. “
Money?
I don’t have any
money
. Rilla was going in on something big with CC. All of his money is supposed to be with your boyfriend. He doesn’t have it?”
“CC got some of it,” Delia confirmed. “But he thought Rilla had some more at home.”
“Rilla never told me about any money,” Candace said. This was getting worse and worse. “I got about three hundred dollars over there, but that’s for rent.”
“You gonna put that with the bail money CC’s putting together?” Delia asked.
“That’s all the money I have,” Candace said. “That’s all I got.”
Speaking that sentence brought it all home. Candace realized how screwed she really was. Somehow her life ended up like someone’s tragic novel. “And that’s still not enough!” she wailed, her lips pulled back, her braces glinting in the light. “I have to get two hundred more from somewhere.”
Trisha got up then. She went to Candace and put a hand on her back. It was a big hand, nice and warm. She rubbed Candace’s neck and hummed softly.
“Well, I don’t know what to tell you,” Delia said. “CC say he got some money, but not ten thousand. I don’t know how Rilla’s getting out if you not gon’ help.”
Candace couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “How am
I
supposed to help?” A trail of mucus hung an inch off of her upper lip. She wiped it off, and Delia looked pretty grossed out.
“I don’t know,” Delia said. “But crying ain’t gonna fix nothing. That’s
yo
man. I’m just telling you what CC said.”
Candace pushed herself from the seat. She almost fell back down, but Trisha braced her arm. “I got . . . . I gotta go,” she said. “I wanna talk to Rilla. Muh-maybe he’s ststill calling.”
“He can’t call this late,” Delia said. “They get locked down at ten. They can’t use the phone again until breakfast.”
“Wuh-what time is that?” Candace asked.
“It’s early. At like six.”
Candace looked at the wall clock mounted over Trisha’s television. It was only eleven-thirty, but she wanted to leave anyway.
“I’m gonna go home and see if I can fuh-find anything. I think he would have tuh-told me, but I’ll look anyway.”
“Good luck, girl,” Trisha said. “You can come back if you get lonely up there.”
Candace looked into her friend’s eyes, glad to see that she wasn’t the only one upset about all of this. She thanked Trisha for the meal and thanked Delia for the bad news. She blubbered like an imbecile as she crossed the street, but she willed herself to stop before she got out of the car. Delia was an asshole, but she was right about one thing: Crying wasn’t going to fix this problem.
When she got inside, the first thing Candace did was stumble around her desolate apartment looking for Rilla. She wondered if she was going crazy in addition to everything else.
STANDING TALL
Candace didn’t find any money under her mattress. She looked in the closet, but there were no hundred-dollar bills stuffed in the pockets of any of Rilla’s clothes. The money wasn’t in the bathroom, either, not taped to the inside of the toilet’s tank and not under the sink. In the living room she pulled the cushions from the couch and love seat, checked for oddly placed books on the shelves, and even inspected the curtains.
Still no money.
She went to the kitchen and hesitated in the doorway, dreading the search she was about to embark on. But right about then, common sense kicked in. If Rilla had money hidden, he would have told her. In any event, she could simply ask him when he called in the morning. Candace was sure he’d call bright and early. According to the caller ID, she already had twelve missed calls from an UNKNOWN source. The last call was at 9:59 p.m.
She went to bed and slept by herself for the first time in more than a year. When she woke up, her eyes were so crusted with dried tears, it was hard to get them open. In a way, she hoped they would stay closed forever.
Rilla called at 6:30 a.m. Candace had been up for two hours already. When she picked up the phone, an automated recording began to play.
“Hello, you have a collect call from,” another recording started, this one was short; Rilla barely had time to state his name, “an inmate in the Overbrook Meadows County Jail. To accept this call, press one. If you do not wish to accept—”
Candace pressed the button. A moment later her boyfriend was on the line.
“Hello?” The sound quality was poor and there was a slight echo, but hearing Rilla’s voice made Candace giddy. She couldn’t even sit down.
“Rilla? It’s me.”
“Hey, baby. Damn, it feels good to hear your voice. Where happened to you last night?”
“I was at Trisha’s. I didn’t know you can’t call my cell phone.”
“Yeah. Baby, you sound tired. You okay?”
“Not really,” she said. “I feel like you’ve been gone for a month already.”
“I ain’t gonna be gone that long,” he promised. “This some bullshit. They ain’t gonna be able to hold me.”
“I talked to Delia last night,” Candace said. “She said your bail is
a hundred thousand dollars
.”
“I know,” Rilla said. “Ain’t that some mess? I’ma get that reduced for sure.”
“Why is it so much?”
“Cause I’m a celebrity or something,” Rilla said. “They’re talking about how much money I got and how I’m a flight risk. They treating me like I still got videos on TV. I don’t know why they’re saying that.”
“Who?”
“That bitch-ass judge. She did me bad, baby.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Ain’t nothing I can do, till I get me a lawyer. I can’t pay that bond, and only a lawyer can get it reduced. I talked to CC. He’s supposed to be getting some money together for me. You talked to him yet?”
“No, but I talked to Delia. They think I have some money over here.”
“It’s some money in that cookie jar,” Rilla confirmed.
“There’s only three hundred dollars in there. And the rent’s due in two weeks. I don’t have enough for that.”
“I thought it was more than that.”
“Rilla, where is all the money? I know you have money somewhere.”
“Baby, I had to do something with it. Everything I got is wrapped up in something right now. But you straight. I got some shit in that duffle bag by the bed.”
“I’m not selling drugs.”
“I know. Give it to CC. See if he’ll give you a couple hundred for it so you can pay the rent. That bag’s worth at least a thousand.”
“Rilla, I don’t want to touch that stuff.”
“All right. I’ll tell CC to go by and get it.”
Candace cringed at the thought of CC
stopping by to check on her
again. “There’s no more money in the house?” she asked.
“Naw, baby. Me and CC just went in on this
thang
. All my money’s tied up in that. CC got my shit, though. Once he gets rid of that, he should have about twelve thousand for me.”
Candace was glad for that, but she couldn’t help asking, “What if he doesn’t give me any? The rent’s due in two weeks.”
“Baby, you’ll be all right. I’ll talk to him today.”
“I called my parents,” Candace said.
There was a long pause. When Rilla spoke again, he sounded spooked. “You did?”
“Yeah.”
“You still talking about going home?”
“I can’t go,” Candace said. “Not now, anyway.”
“What happened?”
“My dad—he started getting really mad.”
“Don’t worry about them,” Rilla said. “I’ma take care of you.”
“I know, Rilla. But I’m scared. Once this money is gone, I don’t have anything else. The phone bill is due. The electric is coming up next month.” Candace’s eyes glossed over and she cursed herself.
You gotta stop crying!
“I’m not gonna be locked up that long.”
“But what if you can’t get the bail reduced? What if you have to stay in there until you go to trial?”
“That’s not gonna happen.”
“But what if it does, Rilla? I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to do all of this by myself. The baby’s coming . . . .”
“Listen: I’m not gonna be in jail when the baby gets here. I promise you that. I put that on my mama. I’ll break out if I have to. I’m not missing that day.”
That was encouraging, but who was he kidding.
The System
had him now. And as much as she hated The System at this moment, Candace had to admit it was working just fine in this case. Rilla sold drugs, he got arrested, and he was in jail. Everything was as it should be. If Rilla got out, he would have to
beat
The System. Could he do that with only twelve thousand dollars?
“You going to school today?” he asked.
“I don’t know.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t feel like it.”
“Candace, you need to go to school. That’s a good thing you’re doing. You started going by yourself, and you need to keep going. Don’t let nothing stop you from doing right.”
“I’m scared.”
“Don’t worry. I’ma make sure everything is all right.”
It was hard to believe him, but what choice did she have? Either Rilla was going to make things right, or she was going to end up pregnant and homeless in a city with no relatives.
They talked for another thirty minutes. When they hung up, Candace sat on the couch and stared at the blank television screen for a long time. She never felt so alone; so stupid, lost, and
alone
.
The first day without Rilla went okay. Candace went to school as normal and somehow maintained focus on her instructors’ lessons. Finals were coming next week. If she could get through her first semester of college despite all of the drama in her life, Candace would consider herself a lucky person.
She didn’t have any classes with Tino that day, but he always managed to find her.
“Hey, Candace!”
She was already at her car. She turned and saw him jogging to catch up. He usually had something to say that would make her feel better, but Candace wanted nothing to do with him right then. She cursed herself for stopping at the restroom after class. She could have been on the freeway by now.