A Good Dude (39 page)

Candace kissed his chest. “I’ll call you whatever you want me to,
papi
.”

He grinned.

Candace looked into his eyes. “I love you, Tino. You never have to worry about being embarrassed around me.”

“I love you, too,” he said. “And I’m glad we talked about this. Now we can we bury it forever.”

“
Forever
?” Candace kidded. “I hoped we could talk about it at dinner when we get to your grandma’s.”

“Or we could talk about it again the next time your dad invites us out,” Tino said.

“All right. We’ll bury it forever.”

* * *

Tino showered and put on his jeans and T-shirt from the night before. Candace had breakfast ready by then, but she was not very merry as they ate. Tino devoured half his plate in the time it took her to eat a few layers of her biscuit. He put down his fork and asked what was wrong.

“Nothing,” she said.

“You’re not hungry?”

“No. Not really.”

“Are you sick? You look sick.”

“I don’t feel well,” Candace admitted. “We can talk after you’re done.”

Tino pushed his plate away. “I’m done now. I can’t eat if you’re not happy. Tell me what’s wrong.”

Candace gathered Leila from her swing and led Tino to the living room couch. She cradled the baby like a security blanket, but it didn’t work. Her eyes filled with tears as she thought about what she had to tell him. “Candace, what’s wrong?”

“Tino, I’m sorry. I have to tell you something bad.” She stared at the dark screen on her television, unable to meet his eyes.

“Are you all right?” he asked. “Are you hurt?”

She shook her head. “I wish it was something like that. The only thing wrong with me is
me
. I’m a liar, Tino. I don’t deserve to be with you.” The tears fell, and they hit Tino like a slap to the face.

“
Candace
! Candace, please look at me.”

She did, and his eyes were watery, too.

“Please,” he said. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“My parents didn’t take Leila to New York,” she said.
Tino was supremely confused. “What do you mean?”
“Leila has never been to New York. I told you that because I didn’t want to tell you where she was.”

Candace’s tears flowed heavier as the memories of her

CPS experience rekindled old fires long since died down. Tino knitted his eyebrows. “Where was she?”

“They took her from me,” Candace bawled. “Tino, I know I should have told you, but I didn’t want you to
think that way about me. I’m sorry, please don’t be mad.”

“
Who
took her?”

“CPS. They took her because I went to jail.”

Tino’s face contorted into an expression Candace recognized as disgust. He shook his head and rubbed his temples with the heels of his hands. “Wha-what? What are you talking about?”

Candace took a deep breath and wiped the tears from her face. If she didn’t cry in jail, then she shouldn’t cry now. She was a grown woman. She rectified every mistake she made, and if Tino left her over this, she would have to suck it up and move on.

She sighed and managed to look her man in the eyes. “When Rilla got arrested, I didn’t have money for the bills. I didn’t have a job or anything. He called me from jail and said he still had drugs in our apartment. He told me to give them to his friend, CC, and supposedly CC would give me money for the rent.”

Tino listened but didn’t speak.

“But CC never came,” she went on. “And it got closer and closer to the first, so I pawned some stuff from our apartment and paid the rent on my own. That’s when I decided I didn’t want to be with Rilla anymore. I knew I could do it by myself.”

Tino nodded.

“But CC came on the thirtieth. June thirtieth—”

“That’s when Leila was born.”

“I know,” Candace said. “CC told me to give him Rilla’s dope. I don’t know why, Tino, but I didn’t want to give it to him. I didn’t trust him. He was supposed to have money for Rilla, but he didn’t have it. He said he was going to bail him out, and he didn’t. When I didn’t give CC what he wanted, he left, and the next thing I knew, the police were at my door. They broke it down and took me to jail for Rilla’s drugs.”

“But it wasn’t yours.”

“I know,” Candace said. “But they told me I could still get charged. Plus I told them I knew it was there.”

“But still,” Tino said, “you could beat that.”

“I didn’t have to beat it,” Candace said. “They said they’d drop the charges if I testified against Rilla.”

“You had Leila in jail?”

“No. My water broke while the police were searching my apartment. I had my baby first, and then I went to jail.”

“How long did you stay?”

“Two weeks, but CPS took my baby as soon as I had her. When I got out, they wouldn’t give her back. It took me two months to get Leila back. I had to get a job and an apartment. I had to show them I could take care of her.”

“That’s why you stayed in Texas?”

Candace nodded. “I couldn’t leave without her.”

Tino shook his head. “Candace, that’s bad, but none of it’s your fault. You should have told me. I would have understood.”

“Maybe,” Candace said, her eyes watering again, “but that’s not all.”

Tino waited nervously.

“Before Leila was born, me and Rilla used to party a lot. We used to drink and get high.”

“That’s okay,” Tino said. “You’re different now.”

“Back then,” Candace continued, “Rilla went to jail for tickets one time.” Her heart was about to explode from her chest. Her mouth was dry. Candace didn’t think she’d have the strength to get through it.

“What happened?” Tino asked, but he didn’t want to know. You could see it in his eyes.

Candace began to cry again. Her lips twisted in agony.

That made Tino more apprehensive.

“When Rilla went to jail, his friend CC came by sometimes to check on me, to make sure I was all right. He smoked weed with me, and we got drunk one time.”

Tino’s eyes watered.

“I got drunk,” Candace said, “and I passed out. When I woke up, CC . . . . CC had my pants off. He was . . . . he was on top of me.”

Tino’s mouth fell open, but Candace was one sentence away from purging her soul, so she didn’t stop.

“I don’t think this is Rilla’s baby,” she blubbered. She looked into Leila’s curious eyes. “I mean, I’m pretty sure this is CC’s baby.”

She looked back to Tino in time to see his face collapse, as if someone had rubbed Novocain all over it. He stood slowly and turned his back on her. He put his hands to his head and took a step towards the bedroom. He then turned and headed for the front door instead.

When he put his hand on the knob, Candace’s heart fell into her stomach, but he didn’t open it. He let it go and turned back to her. Tears streamed down his cheeks, but she saw more compassion than anger in his eyes.

He stepped to her and fell to his knees. He looked first at Leila, and then to Candace’s glistening eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t have reacted like that.”

Candace wiped her face. “Tino, you have every right to be upset. I lied to you. You don’t have to be the nice guy all the time. If you want to leave, you can. I deserve it.”

“Don’t say that.” He wiped the tears from his eyes. “I know you didn’t have to tell me. I never would have found out. I think you told me because you love me, and you don’t want secrets in our relationship.”

Candace nodded. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

Tino looked down at Leila and stroked her head tenderly. “She’s been through so much.”

Leila looked up at him and smiled.

“Do you feel better?” he asked Candace.

She shrugged. “I don’t know, Tino. How do you feel about me now?”

He considered his answer for a few seconds. “Candace, I’m not going to condemn you for something you did before we were together. What happened between you and Rilla’s friend, I think . . . . I think that was
sick
, but it wasn’t something you chose to do. That man raped you.” He frowned. “He should go to jail.”

Candace studied his features. “Tino, you can’t really feel like that. Don’t you have any bad feelings about me? I don’t know for sure who my baby’s father is. Some people think that makes me a ho.”

Tino smiled. “If you were a ho, you wouldn’t have waited on me for four months. That stuff you did with Rilla, that’s not you, Candace. I know the real you, and I love the real you.”
i

Candace didn’t think she could tell her story without there being some low-lying resentment, but Tino was true to his word. He loved Candace for who she was now. He never brought up her sins with Rilla or CC again. Candace promised him there would be no more lies, and that was a promise she planned on keeping. Tino was awesome. She knew she was lucky to have him. He was everything she could have wished for.

* * *

They left her apartment at ten, and made it to Tino’s place thirty minutes later. He showered and dressed again while Candace and Leila watched
Tom and Jerry
reruns on cable. Tino emerged from his bedroom wearing khaki Dockers with a long-sleeved red button-down.

“Look,” he said, pulling back one of his sleeves. He had on the watch Candace got him for Christmas.

Candace held up her wrist to show off her new Fossil.

They kissed like newlyweds and left his apartment hand in hand.

* * *

Tino’s grandmother’s house wasn’t as busy as the night before, but the atmosphere was as warm and cozy as ever. They ate turkey and ham with tamales and menudo. They had sweet potato and pecan pie and were soon stuffed like ticks. There were more presents under the tree, and once again one of them was for Candace. It was a stocking cap with earmuffs, both pink, of course.

Candace called her parents after dinner to see how their Christmas was going. A lot of relatives were there, and her mother passed the phone around to them so they could all say “Hi.” Most of her relatives were not too upset about her absence, and even those who were seemed happy to finally hear her voice.

Candace talked to her mom for a while, and then her dad got on the line and came very close to apologizing for his remarks a couple weeks ago. He told Candace he respected her decision and would look forward to seeing her on spring break. He said there was no guarantee her present would still be there then, but Candace knew he was bluffing.

“I love you, Daddy,” she said before she got off the phone.

“I love you, too, pumpkin. Merry Christmas.”

* * *