A Grand Teton Sleigh Ride: Four Generations of Wyoming Ranchers Celebrate Love at Christmas (24 page)

“There’s nothing to forgive. You’re right, I’m leaving.”
I don’t want to
.

Could he see in her eyes what was in her heart? She longed for Sam to truly understand her, even if she couldn’t figure herself out.

T
ell me about Tom.”

Sam wasn’t sure what he was doing now, but he had to know. The thought of her leaving had tormented him all day. When he’d seen her with Tom, he realized just how much she meant to him.

“Why do you care?” she asked. “If I didn’t know better, I’d almost say that you were jealous. But you have no reason to be.”

He stared at the fire, saying nothing.

“Please. I need to know why,” she added. Her eyes had softened, turning her into the Ann he’d grown to care about these last few weeks.

“I have no right to be jealous.” How did he explain? He just knew he couldn’t let Ann slip away from him without saying everything that needed to be said. He’d made that mistake before.

“When I said you had no reason to be jealous, I meant that Tom and I were engaged, but that’s been over for weeks now.”

Sam’s gut churned. The two had been far more serious than he’d thought. At the same time, he could hope it was over between them. Hope he had a chance with her. The idea had been growing for a long time, even though he’d buried it time and again. It had bloomed when they’d shared the kiss, but today, that fragile bloom had been destroyed. He couldn’t know if Ann had any inkling of how strong his feelings were for her, considering he was only figuring that out himself. He couldn’t know if she returned them.

“What happened?”

“Tom didn’t care about my photography or about me. Not really. He cared about my father’s magazine and money. That’s all.”

“How can that be true?” Sam’s words grated against his own ears. He hadn’t meant to give Tom any credit, but he had to know it was over. “You’re the most beautiful, most amazing woman I’ve ever met. I can’t help but think Tom sees the same in you.”

Even in the dim firelight, he could see Ann’s deep blush. It did crazy things to his insides.

“I overheard him saying as much, the same as I overheard you today, Sam. So you’ll forgive me if I’m not so trusting as to believe anything you say. As soon as you thought I wouldn’t hear, you—”

She didn’t finish but rose from the sofa. “If you’ll excuse me.”

She fled the room.

So this was it, then. Sam had ruined the best thing that had ever happened to him. He didn’t know how to stop it, but he had to try.

He bolted from the sofa and followed her, catching her wrist just as she made the stairs, and turned her to face him. She teetered from the first step, putting her entirely too close, her face mere inches from his.

Sam didn’t take time to think. Thinking hadn’t gotten him anywhere. He leaned in, pressing his lips against hers, not worrying that Ann would tear away from him, or slap him, at the very least. Words hadn’t worked for him. This was all he had.

When she didn’t pull away, he once again cupped her cheeks, like the kiss they shared before, then slowly slid his hands around her head, tugging her closer, weaving his fingers through her soft, brown hair.

The taste of her salty tears brought him back to himself. He ran his thumbs over her cheeks, ending the kiss. “Ann,” his husky whisper sounded like someone else. “I … I wanted you to know how I feel. I couldn’t explain it with words.”

She closed her eyes but said nothing.

“Did Tom ever kiss you like this?” The wrong question to ask, but Sam needed to know Ann’s thoughts.

Her eyes flew open. “It can’t work between us.”

He held her wrist, wanting to ask her why she would say that, but then, what was he really asking of her? How could he ask her to stay when he could promise her nothing? He’d professed his love once before. His throat constricted at the thought of saying those words again. He was in no better place than he’d been before. He had nothing to call his own, nothing to offer a wife.

A wife
. His heart hammered.

“Do you still love Tom?”

She frowned, looking more confused. “What? No. But that hardly matters. I have a job. My family to return to in Manhattan. You have your business to build here. And we have an early morning and long day tomorrow.”

With a sad smile and a tender peck on his cheek, Ann pulled herself from the slight hold he had on her. He watched her make her way up the stairs and then heard the door to her room open and shut. It felt like she’d ripped his heart from him.

If only there was a way for him to come with her to Manhattan. But no, he wasn’t from her world. Could never fit in. As much as he loved—and yes, what else could make him feel this way but love?—as much as he loved her, he could not follow her to New York and hope to provide for a wife and family.

The irony wasn’t lost on him—the person who’d broadened his horizons and paved the way for him to become a guide and outfitter was the woman he’d fallen in love with. But their worlds were too different. He’d give it all up for her, if he thought it would change anything.

Ann ran her hand along Gracie’s neck, talking to the animal she’d grown to care about, too. Sam finished saddling his horse in the early morning chill, only a hint of gray breaking across the sky.

Gracie whinnied, and Ann pressed her hand over the horse’s soft muzzle. “I’m going to miss you, girl,” she said softly.

She’d gone against Daddy’s will, though she reminded herself she was a grown woman. Daddy was also her boss at the magazine. She’d wanted to prove herself in coming all the way to Jackson. She’d wanted to escape the chaotic culture and see for herself the wonder of the Grand Teton photographs. Her breakup with Tom had merely been a small piece that urged her toward this one goal.

Here in Jackson’s Hole, Wyoming, she’d found a freedom she’d never before experienced. She’d found Sam.

She watched his sturdy form climb onto his horse. Remembering the way he’d kissed her, she realized she’d been hard on him, but after everything she’d been through, trusting someone to care for her, for who she was, wasn’t easy. Besides, how could their two worlds fit together?

Moisture crept into her eyes and she quickly swiped it away.

“Ready?” He barely looked at her beneath his hat. Once again, he’d shut himself off.

Why shouldn’t he? He’d laid his heart out to her last night as best as any man could, better than Tom ever had, even though Tom had proposed, and she had rejected him. She climbed onto Gracie and held the reins.

“As I’ll ever be,” she said.

Sam urged his horse forward and Gracie followed. Ann and Sam had grown close over the last few weeks, close enough that he’d been compelled to kiss her. And she’d kissed him back. She didn’t regret that, except both of them knew she had to return to her world. He did, too. So they both rode in silence—a great rift between them, as big as the Continental Divide that cut across the nation.

Ann tried to reignite her excitement about seeing the waterfall again, but Sam’s question wouldn’t leave her.

Do you still love Tom?

No. In truth, she’d always held back a part of herself because she knew that Tom didn’t see her for who she really was. Hearing Tom’s words, learning the truth, had almost given her a measure of relief.

He hadn’t looked at her or her photographs the way Sam had. But what could she do? She had to get back to New York before Daddy. Be ready to present her photographs. She couldn’t stay here on a whim, or because Sam had kissed her, or because he liked her. Or even because she loved him.

Her heart lurched at the admission, but that was a secret she’d keep to herself. No sense in causing either of them more pain. His expression drawn, it was clear that Sam was in pain.

Two hours into their ride, Sam stopped to rest the horses again.

“You realize that you’re taking me to the same place for the second time now. Don’t you worry I’ll remember how to find my way back?” she asked, missing the light banter and teasing they’d shared so often before. She took a sip of water, hoping her statement would bring some peace, ease the tension between them.

He chuckled. “That would surprise me, but if anyone could do it, you could. His smile tore down the rest of the wall, at least enough for her to cross over.

“I appreciate your vote of confidence.”

The horses grew antsy. Ann glanced at Sam, who drew his rifle from the saddle scabbard. He nodded. Ann understood he wanted her to get back on her horse. He did the same.

A grizzly bear lumbered from the trees, and Ann couldn’t control Gracie. Despite her best efforts, the horse took off, leaving Sam behind. Unfortunately, the bear gave chase.

Ann turned in the saddle to see Sam direct Ace into the path of the bear. The horse reared and challenged the bear, which stood on its hind legs. Ann finally slowed Gracie and urged her around to watch.

Something went horribly wrong. Ace stepped in a hole, or on a rock. Ann wasn’t sure, but the horse went down on top of Sam. Soon enough, Ace scrambled to his feet and limped away.

But Sam had angered the grizzly with his interference. Ann needed to help, but Gracie refused her urges to go back to Sam, who remained on the ground, injured.

He held his rifle steady, aimed at the beast charging toward him. Sam had to have nerves of steel.

Oh, Lord, please help my Sam!
If only the bear would lose interest and leave them be.

“Shoot him, Sam, shoot him!” Ann screamed. But she knew he’d wait until he could make the one shot he had count.

He fired the weapon, the shot resounding through the forest. Injured, the grizzly limped away into the forest, away from Sam. Ann urged her nervous horse as close as she could then tied Gracie to a tree. Ace had disappeared. Ann ran to Sam and dropped to her knees.

“Oh, Sam!”

He laid there with his eyes shut. She cupped his head. “Sam Covington, answer me.”

His eyes opened. “My leg. I think it’s broken.”

“You’re lucky the horse didn’t crush you, or that bear kill you.”

Suddenly, Sam smiled. “It’s snowing.”

Ann looked up, and a few flakes licked her cheeks. She glanced down at Sam. “I don’t think that’s a good thing, considering we have to get you down the mountain.”

“You wanted to see it snow. You’re getting your chance.”

He had to be in pain, maybe he was going into shock. “I’ll get Gracie. We’ll get you home.”

No matter how hard they tried, Sam couldn’t climb onto the horse. Ann wasn’t strong enough to lift him.

His face drained of color; he grabbed her arm. “It’s no use. You have to go get help.”

“But how can I find my way out and back?”

“You have to. You have a real eye for detail, Ann. I know you remember the way,” he said, trying to hide the pain. “I trust you to do this.”

Tears freely streamed down her cheeks, though she wanted to reassure Sam. She removed her saddlebag and blanket and made him comfortable.

On her knees, Ann leaned in and kissed Sam, lingering. “I’ll be back with help, I promise.”

When she pulled away, Sam gripped her tighter. “I need you to know … I waited too long to tell someone before. I won’t let that happen again. But I need you to know in case things don’t work out.”

“
Shh
. Don’t talk like that. I have to hurry,” she said. Though she hated leaving him, she pulled away and climbed onto Gracie.

“I love you, Ann,” Sam said. He studied her as though waiting for a response then closed his eyes.

W
hat was that look in her eyes when he’d told her?

The pain in his heart almost equaled the pain in his leg. He’d never wanted to feel this way again—he was no good at love—but he’d risked his heart with Ann.

She’d wrapped him in a blanket, but the snow was getting thicker. It would be hours before she could get back with help, if she could even find her way.

God, please help her. Please, keep her safe
.

Maybe he shouldn’t have told her he loved her, but he might not get another chance.

He shivered and struggled to stay awake, wishing he could just go to sleep and escape the pain. At some point, a warm, wet tongue stroked his cheek. Sam woke up to realize Ace had returned.

“Good boy.” He rubbed the horse’s muzzle. Ignoring the pain shooting through his body each time he moved, he worked to get Ace settled in the soft snow next to him. Heat from the horse’s body would go a long way to keep Sam warm.

Beyond that, there was nothing more he could do besides wait.

It seemed like a lifetime, and yet no time at all, when Ann brushed the snow from his face and whispered his name. The heat from his horse had likely kept him alive to see her sweet face.

His mother’s concerned face appeared in his line of vision. “You’re fortunate Ann could remember how to find her way back. Do you know …”—she frowned, apparently deciding to hold her scolding for later—“here, I brought something warm for you to drink.”

She helped him drink from a Thermos insulated bottle. Sam thought nothing ever tasted so good. It warmed him to the core, which was exactly what he needed.