“What?”
“Jerry and I already found it.”
She lunged over the table for me. I tumbled backward, tripped, and fell over a box. Books scattered. Before I could get up, Bernice was on top of me, pounding with her fists, her face distorted with rage. I tried to push her off. She was too heavy. I tried to dislodge her by rocking from side to side, but boxes of books limited my actions. As her hands closed around my neck, my flailing hand searched for a weapon and closed on something that felt like a stick. I brought it around and down on Bernice’s wooly head and heard a satisfying whack. Bernice fell back. I gave her a couple more whacks and staggered to my feet. Bernice lay crumpled next to a pile of old encyclopedias. What had saved the day? An umbrella with a sturdy duck’s head.
Oh, good, I thought as I rubbed my sore neck. Mystery solved.
I sagged back and steadied myself on a table, umbrella ready, but Bernice didn’t move. During the struggle, my cell phone had fallen out of my pocket. Using the tables as support, I leaned down, picked up my phone, and called the police. By the time Chief Brenner arrived, Bernice was conscious and curled in a corner, sobbing. Between sobs, she told him Willet had promised her half the prize money, and when she realized he planned to give it to Gaskins, she felt so betrayed she put the digitalis in Gaskins’ drink and then switched bottles with Stephanie in the grocery store.
“But I didn’t mean to kill him! I just wanted him to get sick and go away. He’d have to return the money, and then I’d get what was rightfully mine.”
“Willet never gave Gaskins any money,” Brenner said. “We still have it at the station.”
“It’s mine! I insist on having it.”
Brenner took her by the arm and pulled her up. “We’ll talk about this.”
As he took her out, she was still sobbing, “But I loved him. I did everything for him.”
I stayed for a few minutes to pick up the spilled books. Then I sat down and took a few more deep breaths. Bernice’s rage had been terrifying, but her sorrow choked me even worse. Bernice had been broken-hearted, but how could anyone have known? If only she’d been able to talk to someone, she would’ve realized that practically everyone experiences some heartbreak in life. But Bernice kept her emotions inside until they exploded, taking Josh Gaskins with her. Kirby Willet remained free and oblivious.
Do I sense a lesson here? I asked myself.
I did as Joan had instructed, and when I left, I pulled the library door shut. I arrived at the theater before the box office opened. I went down the aisle and leaned over the edge of the orchestra pit.
“How’d it go?” Jerry asked.
“Bernice did it to get Willet in trouble. She thought they had an understanding.”
“Didn’t she know all Willet loves is peanuts?”
“I think she knows that now.”
Jerry gave me a closer look. “My God, Mac, what happened to your throat?”
“She tried to strangle me.”
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I’m more than fine.” I held up my weapon. “I found Patricia’s umbrella.”
“I can’t imagine where you found it,” Patricia said. She turned the umbrella over and over. “Dear me, the paint’s a bit chipped.”
“Yes, sorry about that,” I said.
She opened the umbrella, dislodging several items off her desk. “Oh, that doesn’t matter. It still works. Where did you find it?”
“Did you donate some books to the library used book sale?”
“Don’t tell me it was in that box!”
“Joan said she found lots of things.”
Patricia closed the umbrella and reached for her pocketbook. “I’m so glad to have it back. I really wish you’d let me pay you something.”
“No, thanks,” I said. “That umbrella saved my life. I’ll tell you the whole story sometime.”
I’d stopped by the Chamber of Commerce first thing the next morning. When I got to my office, Twenty was waiting at the door.
“Madeline, I need to apologize to you for anything I might have said. I know I was overbearing and crazy and just not right.”
I unlocked my door. “You don’t need to apologize. You felt strongly about the movie, and you were entitled to express your opinion.”
“But if you hadn’t solved this mystery, I could’ve been charged with murder. I’m your friend for life.”
“Thanks. Come on in.”
“I can’t stay. I need to disband S.T.O.M.P. and apologize to everybody there, too.”
As she hurried down the hallway, Stephanie and Lance came up.
“Madeline, I’m glad we caught you,” Stephanie said. “We’re all leaving today, and I wanted to thank you for catching Josh’s killer.”
“You’re welcome.”
“I wish I’d paid more attention in the store. Maybe I would’ve seen her switch bottles.”
“I don’t know if this will make you feel any better, but she just wanted him to get sick and stop filming,” I said. “It was her way of crying out for attention. Unfortunately, the person she was trying to attract hadn’t a clue.”
“I’m just happy to be getting out of this town,” Stephanie said. “No offense. Lance and I are going to continue with Voltage Films. Our next project is to go ahead with ‘Pastel Memoirs.’”
“Yes, now I can return to the quality projects my fans expect of me,” Lance said.
“I hope so, Lance. I wish you the best of luck.”
He looked pleased. “You suspected me for a while, didn’t you, my dear?”
“I suspected everyone.”
He took my hand and kissed it. “The role of murderer is one I never played, not on television, not in real life.”
“I’m glad to hear that.”
“Good day.”
As soon as Lance and Stephanie left, Ted walked in. “Was that Lance Henderson?”
“He stopped in to say good-by.”
“Too bad the movie didn’t work out for him.”
“I don’t think he’s too torn up about it. Have a seat, Ted.”
“Just for a moment.” He sat down in the armchair, and I took my place behind my desk. “Congratulations on solving the murder, Madeline. I can’t believe Bernice capable of such a thing.”
“Unfortunately, she did it for love.”
“Love or money. Those are usually the reasons, aren’t they?”
“Actually, this was for love and money, although I think she would’ve been happy with love.”
Ted shifted in his seat and straightened his tie. Plain blue, I noticed. “Um, Madeline, while we’re on the subject.”
Uh-oh.
“We haven’t known each other very long, and I hope I’m not misreading the signals, but is there a chance for us? Can we take our friendship to the next step?”
Is there a chance for us? The very words I wanted to ask Jerry. “Ted, I really don’t know.”
He held up his hand. “Now, I understand. I don’t want to rush things. We’ve both been through rough relationships, and the last thing I want to do is pressure you.”
“It isn’t that.” Ted had been so patient and kind. I needed to be honest with him. “It’s Jerry.”
“Oh,” he said. “I didn’t realize.”
“It’s a little complicated.”
“Oh,” he said again, and this time the “oh” was a long, sympathetic “oh.” “But aren’t he and Olivia—?”
“That’s over.”
“I’m sorry, Madeline. I had no idea.”
“Please don’t apologize.” I couldn’t help but smile. All the women I know had immediately seen my predicament. Ted, bless his heart, was in his own way as clueless as Jerry. “Ted, you’re one of the kindest men I’ve ever met. I’d hate to lose your friendship, but that’s all I can offer you.”
He smiled back. “You’re not going to lose anything. If Jerry’s crazy enough to let you go, I’ll be first in line.”
“Thanks, Ted.”
***
The Miss Celosia Summertime Pageant was at three, so I met Jerry at Deely’s for lunch. Mantis Man burgers were still on the menu. We ordered two.
“I’ve had a busy morning,” I said. “Everyone came to say good-by.”
“Even Davis?”
“I didn’t expect him.”
I’d taken a big bite of my Mantis burger when Denisha ran in, spotted us, and bounced up to our table. “Guess what, Madeline? We’re going to be rich!”
“You are?”
“And all we have to do is have a party!”
“What kind of party?”
“Pocketbooks! Isn’t that neat?”
Jerry coughed as if he’d choked on his lunch. His eyes widened, and he seemed a few shades paler. I knew he’d done something more than swallow wrong.
“Would this have anything to do with that conversation you had with Rick the other day?” I asked him.
“It’s the brand name scam, one of Rick’s favorites.”
Along with his Mantis Man merchandise, Rick must have gotten his hands on some famous brand knock offs he intended to sell at Tupperware-like parties around town. “It’s one of your favorites, too, isn’t it?”
Denisha frowned. “What’s a scam?”
“A trick.”
“Is it a trick? My auntie says it sounds like a good way to make some money. She doesn’t usually trust people when they talk about things like this, but she likes you, Jerry, and Mister Rialto said you think it’s a good idea, so she’s gonna do it.”
I’d never seen Jerry look so disconcerted. “Did your aunt give Mister Rialto any money?”
“She’s going to the bank first thing tomorrow.”
“Is your aunt home now?”
“Yes, she’ll be fixing lunch. But I’d rather have a Mantis Burger. Madeline, call her and see if I can.”
Jerry got up. “Come on. I’ll take you home.”
“Jerry!”
“I’ll buy you a Mantis Burger later, okay?”
He left, tugging a reluctant Denisha and came back alone about a half-hour later.
“Did you explain things?” I asked as he slid into his seat across from me.
He nodded. “I told her I’d made a mistake and she shouldn’t invest in anything Mister Rialto suggested. She was very nice about it. Denisha kept looking at me funny, though.”
“What changed your mind?”
“The other times, it wasn’t people I knew.”
I decided not to say anything else. Had he finally learned this valuable—and to me, always obvious—lesson?
He inspected his now soggy french fries. “Rick’s going to be pissed.”
“He can find another village to plunder.”
Jerry looked at me. “You know, you’re right. I don’t want him pulling that scheme here. I got all caught up in the excitement, just like old times, but it’s different now. I know these people.”
“Does this mean no more séances?”
He grinned. “Well, let’s not go overboard. I may cut back gradually.”
“You won’t have time for séances once you find a job.”
“I hear there’s an opening at the library.”
Jerry in the library. I suppose it could work. “I’m afraid your ties are too loud.”
“I’ve got other plans,” he said.
Oh, dear. “Are you going to tell me what they are?”
“No. I want it to be a surprise.”
“I think I want to know now.”
He checked his watch. “Isn’t it about time for the pageant?”
“Jerry.”
“Come on,” he said.
***
The “Music Man” set had been taken down and replaced with a backdrop of silvery sparkles and giant flowers. The auditorium was full, but Jerry and I found seats at the back. As the contestants paraded through the opening number, singing about confidence and pride and hooray for womanhood and America, I felt my stomach roll with the memory of pageants past. I gripped the arm of my seat, wondering if I was going to heave Mantis Burger and fries.
In one of his rare moments of intuition, Jerry patted my hand and said, “That’s not you any more.”
No. No, it wasn’t. I took a deep steadying breath and managed to watch the rest of the pageant objectively. Most of the contestants followed my advice, stood up straight, wore their best colors and smiled their best smiles. Donna’s smile was tight and forced. She looked worried. But the real surprise was Rose Farrington. Somewhere between my talk and this evening, Rose had transformed into a real beauty queen, so no one except Donna was shocked when Rose won and another girl took first runner-up. Donna was a furious second, barely containing her anger on stage, her smile now as rigid as a doll’s.
“I think there may be another murder in your future,” Jerry said as we stood to applaud the winners.
***
Backstage, the girls hugged me and thanked me for my help. Donna had already flounced out without a word to anyone. I found out later she left with Flynn Davis.
I congratulated Cathy, Mitch, and Evan on a successful pageant. I noticed with amusement that for the evening, Mitch had adopted Evan’s lavender suit and signature yellow handkerchief in the jacket pocket, and Cathy’s evening gown was purple and yellow.
“We have big exciting plans for the fall,” Cathy said. “We’re thinking Miss Celosia Autumn, then Miss Celosia Wintertime, and Miss Celosia Springtime. An entire season of pageants!”
Whether I liked it or not, the Pageantoids were going to be in town. “No Miss Mantis?”
“I really couldn’t get my head around the concept.”
Evan shook my hand. “Thanks again, Madeline. I really appreciated all your support. What did you think of the results? I was pleased and surprised. Rose will be a wonderful queen. I couldn’t be happier. She has a bright future ahead of her.”
“Yes, she does,” I said.
Out in the parking lot, I saw Poppy Farrington dressed in a tight pink dress that made her look like a tattooed sausage. She was standing by a large black motorcycle with Benjy Goins, one of the judges, and he had his arm around her shoulders. She gave me a wink.
I laughed.
“What’s so funny?” Jerry asked.
“This town,” I said. “I love it.”
“Me, too.”
“Really?” I said. “Is that your surprise?”
“My surprise is at Georgia’s,” he said.
At Georgia’s Books, the white ferret was sitting by the cash register, no longer scrawny and dirty, but fat and fluffy.
“This is Poltergeist,” Hayden said. The ferret slid under his hand. As he rubbed its head, it made a soft clucking sound. “Poltey for short. Now any time I hear a strange noise, I just say, ‘Oh, must be the ferret,’ and you know what? It usually is.”
Shana was helping Georgia fix the cardboard display holding Shana’s latest historical romance. “If I’d known that, I would’ve bought a ferret a long time ago.”
Hayden scratched the ferret behind its ears. “I’ve gotten really fond of it. I never had a pet because of my mother’s allergies. Poltey sits right up here with me most of the day.”
“A very calming influence for a ghost,” Shana said.
“This is a very nice surprise,” I told Jerry.
“Oh, Poltey’s not the surprise,” he said. “Starting tomorrow, I’m gainfully employed at Georgia’s Books. Hayden wants some time off to write.”
I stared at him and then stared at Hayden. “Is this true?”
“Jerry and I have been talking about it, and I think it’s going to work out for both of us.”
I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of this before. The bookstore was a perfect place for Jerry. It was always busy, he could interact with people all day, and he loved to read. “That’s great.”
“You need to sign a few papers for tax purposes, Jerry,” Georgia said. “Come to the back, and we’ll get that taken care of.”
I was going to congratulate Hayden on his decision to spend more time writing when I saw Rick Rialto walk past the store.
“I’ll be right back,” I said.
I caught up with Rick at his Mantis Man shop. To my relief, he was packing the tee shirts and key rings.
“I hear J’s going legit,” he said.
“He’s got a job at the bookstore.”
“Good luck to him, I say.” He closed one box and started filling another with caps and coffee mugs. “This town’s too small for the really big schemes, anyway.”
“Your shop wasn’t doing too well, was it?”
“The murder kinda put a damper on things. It’s funny, ‘cause usually something like that makes people want to buy stuff.” He shrugged. “Oh, well.”
“You’re taking all the fake handbags, too, I hope.”
“Yep.” He reached for the Mantis Man salt and peppershakers. “So the old broad at the library did it, huh? She wasn’t even there that night.”
“She only meant for Gaskins to get sick.”
Rick didn’t seem concerned that Gaskins was dead. “Too bad. Thanks for solving the mystery, though. Got me off the hook.”
“You’re welcome.”
I had turned to go when he said, “Oh, I found out what happened to Jackson Frye, if you’re still interested.”
“Yes, I’d like to know.”
He paused in his packing. “Don’t know how you feel about irony.”
“It has its place in my life.”
“Then you’ll appreciate this. Seems Frye pulled one too many schemes and was finally caught and sent to jail. You remember that prison that caught fire about ten years ago? Killed about fifty inmates? Frye was one of them.”
“Doesn’t that make you want to rethink your life, Rick?”
He laughed. “Nah. I’m not going to get caught.”
“Well, thanks for the information.”
“I thought I’d do you another favor and tell J how you feel.”
What the hell? “How I feel?”
“Yeah, you know, about him getting a job and everything. He’s cool with that.”
“Oh, the job.”
“What’d you think I meant?” Rick gave me a look that was surprisingly serious. “When are you going to tell him?”