A Heart Decision (28 page)

Neither had he when he’d seen Dante on the news.

“In answer to your question, yes, our father
explained all about you when I was fifteen—after your mother told
him how she lost his brother.”

“I don’t think of Tony as my father.”

“I’m sure it’s difficult to see him that
way—especially since you’ve just found out. I told him you’re here.
He’s moving a little slower these days, but he’ll join us in—” The
sound of shuffling cut Dante off. “Here he is now.”

Luke stood as Tony pushed his walker into the room
and took the vacant armchair next to Dante.

So this was what he would look like in about twenty
years? Assuming he lived that long. It was a comfort to see Tony
was still in fairly good shape except for the walker.

Luke sat back down, unable to think of anything to
say to break the ice. Fortunately, Dante cracked the glacier
between them. “Teresa told Luke who you are last week, Pop.”

“That’s good.” Tony’s head bobbed and jerked. “It’s
nice to finally see my boys together.”

Luke frowned. “You said
together
as if you’ve
seen me on my own before.”

“I have. I learned you were my son right after
Salvatore died,” he said, twitching. “I attended most of your
football games as well as your graduations from high school, the
university, and the police academy.”

“Oh.” Some might find that a little creepy, except
he probably would’ve done the same thing in Tony’s position. He
wouldn’t want to miss the milestones in his son’s life, either.

“I’m very proud of you, Lucca—not that I had
anything to do with what a good man you became. I sent your mother
a check to pay your college tuition, but she returned it torn in a
dozen pieces.”

“I had a full ride, so she wasn’t depriving me.”

“Sal would never take a dime of what he called our
family’s
ill-gotten gains
. Your mother still won’t. I send
her a check for twenty grand every Christmas, and by New Year’s its
back in my mailbox with VOID written across it.”

“My dad was a proud, honest man, and she shares his
values.”

“You may be relieved to know I’m more like him than
you might suspect. You grandfather ran things until about five
years ago when the son of a bitch finally died. I’d been working in
the background for a long time to legitimize most of our dealings.
Unfortunately, it takes years to turn around businesses that have
operated outside the law and kept two sets of books for decades.
Since the old man died, we’ve become mostly legit. Dante’s working
to make that a hundred percent.”

No wonder he hadn’t heard of either Tony or Dante
being linked to any criminal activity in the last several
years.

“The Latino gangs and the Asian and Russian mafias
have taken control of most of what our grandfather dominated at one
time,” Dante explained. “The families don’t wield the same kind of
power they once did. We have more than enough in assets to operate
legally.”

“I’m glad to hear it. I’d like to stay in touch, but
as a police officer, you can understand why I can’t knowingly
associate with felons.”

Tony smiled. “I’ll look forward to seeing you
again.”

“The main reason I came today is because I’m
thinking of being screened for Huntington’s. I wanted to hear your
thoughts on it. Did you get tested and know you would eventually
develop the disease?”

“Nah.” Tony’s hand jerked as he waved it. “I didn’t
want to know. But Dante hopes to eventually have kids, so when he
considered getting engaged two years ago, he was screened and
tested negative.”

Great. Luke snorted to himself. One more sibling who
hadn’t inherited the damned gene. What were the odds he’d also be
that lucky?

“So you’re married?”

Dante shook his head. “We broke up. Turns out she
didn’t even want children.”

“When I turned fifty and still had no symptoms,”
Tony continued, “I thought I was home free, and you would be, as
well.”

A uniformed maid wheeled in a cart with coffee and
assorted pastries. Luke accepted a steaming cup, chose a small
cheese Danish, and thanked her. While she served her employers,
Tony said, “Why are you suddenly considering being screened?”

“Like Dante, I’m thinking of getting married.
Sabrina is a nurse who insists it doesn’t matter if I get sick. But
I want a life with her as my wife, not as my caretaker.”

“Can’t she be both?” Dante asked. “Pop didn’t start
developing symptoms until he was fifty two. Since his onset was so
late, the doc says he could have ten years before things get bad.
You could be sixty before you need any kind of help—or not at
all.”

“That’s true. But I could also develop HD at only
forty-five like my da—” Seeing Tony stiffen, Luke stopped cold.

“It’s okay.” Tony held up a hand. “Sal will always
be your father in the ways that count.”

Luke nodded. “As I was saying, he developed symptoms
at forty-five, and some people get them even sooner.”

Dante leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. “But
if you test positive, the geneticists can sometimes tell
approximately when you’re likely to become symptomatic by the
number of trinucleotide CAG repeats in your DNA.”

Right. The test might reveal that he wouldn’t be
likely to get sick for a long time. But it could also tell him it
would happen in the near future. If his grandmother became
symptomatic when she was pregnant with Tony, she had to have been a
very young woman.

Tony’s hand went into a spasm as he put his cup
down, spilling the last of his coffee in the saucer. “The fact that
you love this girl enough to put her happiness before your own
proves she’s a good influence on you. If she’s willing to have you,
you should marry her no matter what the test says. The biggest
regret of my life was letting your mother go.”

“Why? You weren’t in love with her.”

“Given a little time, I’m pretty sure I would’ve
been.”

“Even though she wanted my dad?”

Tony nodded. “I always wondered if she could have
eventually learned to love me, instead. In the week we were
together, I fell hard for Teresa. She was beautiful, strong, and
gutsy. She had the courage to stand up to my old man—something I
always had trouble doing.”

“The way my mother tells it, Nunzio was a total
bastard who undermined everyone. It didn’t seem like she stood up
to him when she went through with the wedding.”

“She only did that to save her father. With Teresa
as my wife, I might have become the more confident man I should’ve
been—like Sal—and stopped my father’s underhanded dealings. If I’d
had her in my life, maybe I wouldn’t have minded giving up all of
this.” Tony waved his hand around the room. “Instead, I’m going to
die with a lot of regrets. One is not knowing you until now.”

Luke’s throat swelled shut. He could never become
Tony’s son, but he could imagine himself developing a deep
affection for him and Dante.

“It might make you feel better to know my mother
speaks kindly about you.”

“Thank you. That
is
nice to know, but you
didn’t come to visit just to tell me that. Forgive me if I’m wrong,
but I think you came looking for my advice. So here it is, Lucca.
Life’s too short not to grab the brass ring when it’s right in
front of you. You have a woman who loves you as much as you love
her. Grab the fuckin’ ring.”

Dante nodded. “Pop’s right. Besides, do you really
think a woman who went to school for four years to become a nurse
would consider a loved one a burden if he became sick?”

She’d made it very clear she wouldn’t when she’d
defended Mrs. Klausen’s decision to keep her husband at home. Luke
released a deep sigh. And he sure as hell wouldn’t resent taking
care of Sabrina if the situation were reversed.

Dante wiped his mouth with a napkin. “If you ask me,
it’s damned arrogant to think you know better than she does what
will make her happiest.”

People had used at least a dozen adjectives to
describe him in his lifetime—from athletic and smart-mouthed to
fearless and crazy. But no one had ever used the word
arrogant
before.

Until now.

Something Sabrina said at the hospital echoed
through his head.
If you and Ben don’t stop putting my welfare
first because you think you know better than I do what will make me
happy, I won’t marry either of you!

Okay, so she may not have used the actual word
arrogant
, but she sure as hell had expressed the
sentiment.

Unfortunately, he hadn’t really listened. But he
would now.

The third week in November, Sabrina stood on their
hotel suite’s private terrace, admiring her amazing view of The
City of Light. The dark night sky created a dramatic backdrop to
showcase the glittering Eiffel Tower.

Talk about
Lifestyles of the Rich and
Famous
.

Ben had booked the five-star hotel’s two-bedroom
royal suite for them and a similar set of rooms for Annie and
Luke’s three sisters to call home during their shopping spree.

And, man, oh man, did the five of them shop—for
everything from designer shoes and sexy lingerie to a skimpy bikini
she wasn’t sure she would ever have the nerve to wear in
public.

They’d also bought the most gorgeous couture wedding
gown any of them had ever seen. Ben had forbidden the exclusive
bridal boutique to reveal any of the price tags, so she had no idea
what it cost, but undoubtedly, he’d paid a small fortune.

All she knew for certain was the strapless,
formfitting dress, which flared just above her knees into a full
hem and fishtail train, gave her a sleeker, shapelier silhouette
than anything she’d ever worn. The pearl and Swarovski
crystal-beaded satin sparkled like a thousand diamonds, making her
feel as elegant as royalty.

The feature that made the gown truly special,
however, was its plunging back. From behind, it appeared to leave
her completely bare and sprinkled in starlight from her neck to
well below her waist. Tiny crystals scattered over sheer,
flesh-toned netting held the dress together and matched her skin
color perfectly, creating a glamorous, romantic illusion.

When the bridal consultant had gathered the train
and secured it into a bustle, the rear of the gown was so stunning
it took her breath away.

After choosing her gown, it had been a serious
challenge to find bridesmaids dresses that didn’t seem drab in
comparison. They finally chose strapless sheaths in lush red velvet
with trumpet-flared hems and similar plunging backs to mirror the
style of her dress

She flinched as Ben crept up behind her, squeezed
her shoulders, and murmured in her ear. “A penny for your
thoughts?”

“My thoughts aren’t worth even that much.” She
chuckled. “Although, I’d expect a man with your fortune to offer me
at least a grand.”

“It’s yours. I can’t wait to share
everything
I have with you, honey.”

“Thank you.” She forced a smile, failing to think of
a tactful way to tell him how unimportant his fortune was to her
happiness. “I was just standing here enjoying the view and thinking
about how much fun I had shopping with the girls and how incredible
you’ve made this trip.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it. After we’re married, we
can spend all of our time traveling, if you’d like.”

Luke had encouraged her to be honest with Ben. It
was about time she shared her concerns and discontentment with
him.

“That’s just it. I don’t
want
to spend my
life traveling. Vacations are great, but they’re not very
fulfilling to my soul. I want to go back to work, Ben. I love being
a nurse, and I miss taking care of sick children.”

“How can you miss that? I like kids as much as
anyone, but you can keep the vomit and snot.”

“It’s not just the kids. In pediatrics, reassuring
the parents is a big part of the job. I makes me feel whole to
comfort people. A nurse is who I am.”

“That’s part of the reason I asked you to give up
your career. You get way too involved, Sabrina. You carry around
everyone else’s problems and lose who you are in your job. I want
you to be happy.”

She glanced up at the night sky and let out a loud
huff. “You’re as bad as Luke. He can’t believe I could be happy
taking care of him. Face it. I’m a nurturer and a caregiver. It’s
who I am. If you can’t live with that—”

“I can—
really
. If that’s what you need, you
should go back to work after our honeymoon. Or you could work per
diem so you could travel with me sometimes. In any case,”—he
shrugged his shoulders—“you have me wondering if you fell for Luke
instead of me because he’s such a tortured soul.”

Luke had said something very similar in Jake’s
office.

Could Ben be right? Had she fallen in love with Luke
because she’d sensed his inner turmoil and angst? If that was true,
what did it say about her?

Was she so insecure she couldn’t be happy unless she
felt needed? How sick would it be if the only way she felt
validated was through other people’s misery? She’d had an alcoholic
and compulsive gambler father who’d never had any use for either
her or her brother. Perhaps her obsession for taking care of others
was a simple case of co-dependence.

An emotionally healthy woman would feel worthy of
unconditional love and wouldn’t feel she had to give up so much of
herself to earn anyone’s affection. Ben was right. She needed more
balance in her life. It was something she would have to work
on.

“Who knows?” she said, releasing a soft snort.
“Maybe I have some weird reverse form of Münchausen by proxy
syndrome. Even though I would
never
try to make anyone sick,
I sure as heck have a tendency to seek out those who are so I can
take care of them.”

“No.” He tilted his head as he peered at her. “I’d
say it’s more likely you have Mother Teresa syndrome. You believe
it’s up to you to fix everyone. My only question is—do I have to be
broken for you to want me?”