A Heart Once Broken (2 page)

Ezra grinned and said, “
Yah
. Thanks for the compliment. Now I can relax for the rest of the evening knowing everything's fine. There's nothing like arriving at a gathering and finding out your
mamm
forgot to sew a seam.”

“You're
mamm
wouldn't do that,” she chided. “She's among the best seamstresses in the community.”

“
Yah
, I was teasing.” Ezra whacked away at the weeds again before he looked up to say, “I heard there was another new family moving into the community. Have you met them?”

“No.” Lydia busied herself with a stubborn root.

“The oldest boy is around our age, I was told.” Ezra gave Lydia a quick glance. “His name's Clyde Helmuth. He's the boy right over there—the one with the pitchfork.”

Lydia looked toward where Ezra had motioned with his chin. There was indeed a new boy near the barn. She had been too
wrapped up in Ezra to notice. His straw hat cast shadows on his face, but he looked handsome enough.

“I imagine you girls will have him matched up with someone before long,” Ezra teased.

Lydia teased back by saying, “Maybe so. Maybe it'll be me. I seem to be available.” She gave the weeds in front of her another wallop.

“Surely you wouldn't fall for a strange man so quickly,” Ezra scolded.

“Maybe I would and maybe I wouldn't,” Lydia said. “And who knows. My cousin Sandra might fall for him.”

“Are you wishing she would?” Ezra's eyes twinkled. He was on to her now.

“
Yah
,” Lydia admitted. She knew she might as well say the truth. “That might help you make up your mind.”

Ezra grinned from ear to ear. “Maybe it would and maybe it wouldn't,” he teased back.

Ezra was still grinning when Rosemary returned with her new hoe. She gave them both a quick look and said, “Is something funny going on that you want to share with me?”

“No,” Ezra said, teasing again. “We thought maybe you got hung up talking with the new fellow over by the barn. Young and handsome Clyde Helmuth?”

Rosemary colored a little. “Clyde who?”

Ezra laughed. “I can go tell him you're available.”

“No need,” Rosemary snapped. “He already knows that. Clyde and I go way back. Our families have been friends for years…before his family moved here.”

Ezra's tone softened. “I didn't know that. Did something happen between the two of you?”

The look on Rosemary's face was enough of an answer, but she still said, “I used to date him, but we broke up.”

“I'm sorry to hear that.” Lydia reached over to give Rosemary a quick squeeze on the arm. “I had no idea.”

Rosemary shrugged. “Most people don't know. It was only for a few dates. Clyde felt like the relationship wasn't what he wanted.”

“There will be someone for you, I'm sure,” Ezra encouraged her.

“I can see why your heart is still attached to the man,” Lydia whispered to Rosemary, loud enough for Ezra to hear. “He's quite handsome.”

“
Yah
.” Rosemary bit her lip and attacked a thick weed with her hoe.

Ezra gathered up an armful of thornbushes and headed toward the garden where Sandra was working. Lydia tried to keep busy and not pay attention to what Ezra was doing. The burn pile was near the garden's edge, and Lydia was sure Ezra would stop to speak with Sandra.

Lydia turned her attention to Rosemary. “Is it hard for you, then? With Clyde now living right here in the community?”

“No, it's fine.” Rosemary put on a brave face. “I have to get over him, that's all. And I will. He and his
daett
just moved here after his
mamm
died. He's carrying a heavy load now.”

“Oh, I'm sorry to hear that,” Lydia said.

Rosemary paused with her hoe in one hand. “And as for me, you or Ezra don't need to feel bad. It's not as though I want another chance with Clyde. That's clearly in the past.”

Lydia didn't respond, and the girls turned their attention to their work. Their tools rose and fell in unison as they attacked the thornbushes. The simple peace and camaraderie of their shared disappointments was comfort enough for the moment. But before long, both of them glanced toward the garden where Sandra and Ezra were engaged in a lively conversation.

“See what I mean?” Lydia muttered. “It's maddening.”

Rosemary choked back a laugh. “
Yah
, I see what you mean. So that's what you were muttering about earlier. I thought it was the weeds.”

“Maybe it
is
a weed,” Lydia said, but she knew it was the bitterness in her heart speaking. The truth was, she loved Ezra.

Chapter Two

T
he following Saturday evening, Lydia ran to the front window of the Troyers' living room and peeked through the drapes. A buggy had rolled into the drive a few moments earlier, and Lydia watched as the lengthy form of Deacon Schrock climbed out. The deacon tied his horse to the hitching post, but he made no move to go any farther. Rather, the deacon stood beside his horse with clasped hands. Lydia pulled back from the window. Did Bishop Henry already have the deacon busy on church work—even though he'd only recently arrived in the community? That was possible, but what anyone in the family could have done to provoke a visit from the deacon was beyond her. All of her older brothers and sisters were married. The deacon would visit their homes if there was a problem, and she certainly hadn't disobeyed the
ordnung
. Her younger sisters, Emma and Rhoda, were still in their
rumspringa
time. They would be gone for the evening in thirty minutes or so, but they weren't subject to the deacon's jurisdiction. Unless her sisters had brought embarrassment to the community. She should check with her sisters more often, Lydia told herself. Maybe the two were up to something that had aroused the community's concern. Everyone kept close tabs on the young people in the North Country.

Rumspringa
in St. Lawrence County wasn't quite the loose affair it was in other Amish communities. All of the families had made sacrifices to move this far upstate in New York, and they didn't want the problems from the old community to follow them. Lydia hesitated but looked past the drapes again.
Daett
had just come out of the barn. She watched as he walked up to the buggy and shook hands with Deacon Schrock. The two were soon deep in conversation. Did Deacon Schrock want something with
Daett
after all?

Lydia ducked behind the drapes again. Come to think of it,
Daett
had seemed distracted lately and so had
Mamm
. But what could
Daett
have done wrong? Lydia peeked out and saw
Daett
and Deacon Schrock still talking beside the buggy. The deacon's visit must have involved some other member of the family. She dropped the drape's edge from her fingertips and walked toward the kitchen, where Emma and Rhoda were busy at work with supper preparations. Neither of them looked up—which wasn't necessarily a sign of innocence. Her sisters always rushed through the supper preparations on a Saturday night so they could leave sooner for their weekend's taste of the world's freedom.

“What have you two been up to?” Lydia demanded. “The deacon's here.”

The girls acted as if they hadn't heard. Emma hummed a worldly tune she must have learned from her
Englisha
friends. If
Mamm
had been in the kitchen, Emma would have quit this nonsense at once. But Lydia was too soon out of her own
rumspringa
to complain about an
Englisha
tune being hummed. At least she'd had the decency not to bring anything from the world into the house.

Lydia sighed and glanced toward the living room window again. Maybe one of her sisters had hidden a radio upstairs and had let the fact slip at the Sunday evening hymn singing. That could provoke a visit from the deacon. There would be no discipline for her sisters,
but
Mamm
and
Daett
's reputation would suffer if they failed to keep control of their children's
rumspringa
time. The parents were expected to draw the lines clearly between the world and their home. Nothing but trouble would come from such a situation, and trouble was something Lydia didn't need right now. Everything needed to be in order at the Troyer's house so Ezra Wagler would have no excuse to choose Cousin Sandra over her. After all, Ezra came from a well-thought-of family, and his parents would see to it that Ezra chose a
frau
who would uphold the family's tradition as faithful Amish church members.

Lydia tried again in a louder voice. “Why else would the deacon be here if you're not up to no good?”

Emma ceased her humming long enough to say, “I don't know and I don't care.”

“That's not a decent attitude,” Lydia scolded. “Sounds like the deacon should speak with you while he's here anyway.”

Rhoda added her two cents. “That's why I'm in no hurry for church membership. And you wouldn't have been either if you didn't have Ezra Wagler on the brain.”

Emma and Rhoda giggled and high-fived each other. That was another thing they wouldn't have dared to do with
Mamm
around.

Lydia exploded. “I didn't join the church for Ezra's sake, and don't do that silly gesture in the house.”

“You used to act just like this yourself,” Emma shot back. “So don't go all high-and-mighty on us.”

“At least I had enough sense to leave that
Englisha
stuff out there,” Lydia snapped. “If you two get too silly, you'll never make your way back into the faith.”

“Maybe we don't want to,” Emma said with a glare. “Look how we work ourselves to the bone when a little electricity in the house would save so much labor. Benny Coon's sister, Avery, had us in her
house for a party last weekend, and you should have seen all the fancy things she has. Even the clothes dryer is inside the house and runs on electricity.”

“You should be ashamed of yourselves with such talk!” Lydia said, trying to keep the tension out of her voice. “You're supposed to taste the things of the world and get them out of your system, not get used to them or bring them home with you.”

“Speak for yourself.” Rhoda gave Lydia a rebellious look. “Be thankful we made supper so you can work on that new dress to impress Ezra Wagler with tomorrow.”

Lydia winced but kept the confidence in her voice. “
Yah
, and maybe I'll be sewing his shirts soon—if the two of you don't destroy the family's reputation first.”

The two girls were silent, and Lydia refrained from any further protest. Where was
Mamm
? Without
Mamm
around, Lydia always seemed to stoop to silly arguments with her younger sisters. If her two older sisters, Lucy and Betty, were still at home instead of married, they'd know how to handle Emma and Rhoda. Lucy was wise beyond her years and a true asset to the family's standing in the community. And Betty had married Bishop Henry's son, Lonnie. Lydia could never match the reputations of her older sisters, but that didn't mean she had to descend to Emma and Rhoda's level.

“I'm going to find
Mamm
,” Lydia mumbled. The two girls giggled as Lydia walked off. Clearly Emma and Rhoda thought they held the high ground.
More like the low ground,
Lydia told herself. But she had other concerns at the moment. Why was Deacon Schrock there? That question still wasn't answered. Her sisters acted too confident. They obviously hadn't done anything wrong—at least that they knew of.

Lydia peeked out of the living room window again as she passed.
Daett
had his head bowed, and Deacon Schrock appeared to be in
the middle of a lecture. Could
Daett
have done something wrong after all? Fear stabbed at Lydia. But what could that be?
Daett
didn't bend the
ordnung
in any way, and both of her parents gave the community their full support. Betty couldn't have married Bishop Henry's son under any other circumstances.