Authors: Tara Pammi
CHAPTER SEVEN
O
LIVIA
BIT
INTO
the chocolate filled-croissant and stifled a moan as the butter and chocolate melted in her mouth. The pavement café adjacent to Alexander’s building was a little slice of heaven. She had taken to spending most of her time here rather than spend one unnecessary minute with Alexander cooped up in the penthouse.
She had stayed up a few nights, and worked on her pitch, the ideas flowing as she strove to capture them on paper. Now all she had to do was create the presentation and her pitch would be ready. She closed her eyes and leaned back, a smile curving her mouth. The warm, late-afternoon sun caressed her skin. The faint hum of traffic and chitchat enveloped her without jarring her thoughts, which of course, revolved around Alexander.
He had mostly left her to her own devices the past week, during the day at least. But, in the evening, it was another party, or a charity event or in the case of yesterday night, an intimate dinner with friends.
Ever since the night they had encountered his parents, there was a difference in him. Of course, he was back in perfect control, whereas all she had to do was close her eyes to taste him on her lips.
He was polite with her, didn’t throw insults in her face anymore.
He had even made her coffee in the middle of the night when she had been rubbing her eyes determined to finish her work. And when she had promptly fallen asleep with her chin on the table, after drinking the coffee, he’d put away her work neatly, picked her up and tucked her into bed. All through the week, he had let her pick his astute brain, had explained to her all the elements that went into making a marketing campaign a success, without mocking her.
By all accounts, he’d been exceptionally nice to her. She should be glad about it.
But she wasn’t. Not that she would welcome the Alexander who’d been so brutally honest with her, outlined her every failing. But he’d been well,
honest,
with her. She had known exactly where she stood with him. Now that she had seen a glimpse of the real man beneath, the one who felt pain and grief, the one who had openly acknowledged the attraction between them, she couldn’t forget the savage need that had glittered in his gaze before he had pushed her away ruthlessly.
Even knowing that he had been in pain, knowing that he despised having revealed himself to her like that, she still liked that man.
She leaned back in the seat and clutched her stomach. When had she become such a masochist? Hadn’t she already learned her lesson more than once? What else would she have dared if he hadn’t pushed her away?
Guilt coiled through her belly, raking its nails over her insides. Of all the men in the world, why did she have to be so drawn to her sister’s fiancé?
“You’re hiding from me.”
She jerked straight and tucked her hands in her lap guiltily.
Standing right above her, Alexander cast a dark shadow over her, stealing the sun’s warmth. She shivered as the sheer presence of him pressed on her. Dark and brooding, his expression was in direct contrast to his white shirt.
She swallowed as his gaze swept over her. It hesitated for an infinitesimal moment over her mouth, his pupils expanding against the blue, sending a lick of heat through her. She could feel the tightening of her cheeks, the flush creeping over her neck. She clutched her legs together under the table, glad that she was sitting down.
She straightened up in her chair, and folded her hands. There was a boldness to his gaze, a decisive set to the line of his mouth that scared her.
“I’m not hiding,” she said, the words sounding breathless, not at all like she’d intended. Her heart raced as he pulled out the chair next to her and settled on it. “However, I might beg them to let me live in their kitchen forever.”
He smiled, even though it didn’t reach his gaze. Her arm moved against his as she reached for the last bite of her croissant, sending a tingle up hers. Just as she brought it to her mouth, he deflected her hand toward him, his grip at her elbow gentle and firm. His mouth closed over the tips of her fingers as he tugged the croissant into his mouth.
She reeled back, sensation exploding over every inch of her. She watched as he chewed and swallowed, the movement of his Adam’s apple, the dark glitter in his eyes holding her captivated. He didn’t moan or gush over it, only nodded in understanding.
The silence shrilled around them. She fidgeted in her seat, wanting to move away from him. She opened her mouth and just as quickly shut it as he leaned back. Something was wrong. She didn’t want to ask, she didn’t want to care, he had clearly drawn the line between them. But she hated this awkward tension between them. “Alexander, what’s wrong?”
“Why would you think anything’s wrong?”
“Because you have that look about you.” He raised an eyebrow, a challenge in his expression. She exhaled on a whoosh. She was beginning to understand him a little now, was beginning to pick up the little signals that meant his emotions were far closer to the surface than he would have her believe. “Like you would like nothing better than to inhale me whole.”
He threw his head back and laughed.
She continued as though he hadn’t interrupted. “Only then, you wouldn’t like yourself for what you’ve done so you’ll spit me out again, uncaring of how that makes me feel. I’m not a punching bag for you to hit whenever something angers you. I’m here because Kim asked me to, whether you believe me or not. And—” she swallowed as his gaze searched hers, his attention never wavering from her face “—for reasons beyond my understanding, I’m attracted to you. So stop yanking my chain. Whatever our differences, I thought you a better man than this.”
He cupped her chin, pulled her closer and all air left her lungs. He angled his face and leaned in. It was the perfect position for him to press his lips to hers. She trembled as he watched her like a hungry hawk. Torture methods probably
had nothing on what this man could do to her with just a glance.
“I’m not yanking your chain.” His breath breezed over her lips, sending a ripple of longing through her. “I’ve been fighting the insane urge to kiss you, to strip you of every inch of clothing and take you, until neither of us can move an inch much less think about the right or wrong of what we’ve done. It’s a madness in my blood.” The pad of his thumb brushed her lip. “And before you say I’m pining for Kim again—” his gaze became distant and hard “—let me make it clear for the last time, that she never ever evoked anything as uncivilized in me as you do.”
She pushed his hands away and slacked against the chair, her breathing shallow.
“There. Does that make you feel better?”
The tone of his words could slice through the cup in her hands. “No,” she said loudly, her senses slowly coming out of the fog he seemed to spin effortlessly.
“Not even a little kick at the sexual thrall you have me under?”
Her heart kicked against her breast.
“No,”
she repeated louder, a surge of anger diluting the thrill his words did evoke. “I understand that what would be a minor matter of an inconvenient attraction to any other man is of utmost significance to you. Because your control over what you let yourself feel is what defines you, isn’t it? And the fact that you can’t lock it away, that you can’t turn it off is driving you nuts. So,
no,
I can’t rejoice in the fact that you despise me because you’re failing in your own eyes.”
“I don’t despise you, Olivia.” He tilted her chin in his hands, his touch infinitely gentle. It took everything within her to hold his gaze. “It would be easier if I did but I don’t.”
“
No?
Only yourself, then,” she said, feeling battered. After that night, she knew how much it cost him to admit what he did just now, yet she felt nothing but hollow inside. How could she be so drawn to a man who was out of her reach on every level there was? “When a man is attracted to me, I want him to embrace the fact, not think it’s beneath him. Whatever my past mistakes, I deserve that much.” Her words sounded confident, defiant even, yet the fact that she had never met such a man nor probably ever would was a painful knot in her stomach.
She braced herself from some caustic remark about her past. Instead, he tucked her arm around his and leaned back into his seat.
They sat in silence like that for a while. A warm and fuzzy feeling uncurled in her stomach as she studied his profile. Even as she fought it, the truth crept in. Alexander, she realized with a slow, agonizing breath, could crumble her good intentions to protect her heart with one simple look or a heartfelt smile.
“Carlos informed me today that Kim never left the island,” he said, gazing straight ahead. “She’s still there.”
Olivia pulled back with a jerk, guilt a constant, heavy shackle she couldn’t shake. It was like a house arrest bracelet that screeched every time her heart ventured into forbidden territory.
Tight grooves bracketed his mouth. “I was a jerk when all you did was help.”
She tried to remind herself of the anger, the frustration she had felt that night when he’d blamed her for everything. But she had to admit that anyone who knew Kim would have doubts believing that she had fled her own wedding. For a man who dealt in absolutes, who never was plagued by doubts, Kim’s actions wouldn’t make sense, especially because he had believed her to be above it all.
“That’s all I get?” Her heart beat a stuttering tattoo against her rib cage. “If I remember right, I said I would settle for nothing but a grovel. And before you say you don’t know how, let me tell you. You go down on your knees, spread your arms wide, kiss the ground at my feet and say ‘Oh, great Olivia, please forgive me’.”
He burst out laughing, the sound of it rippling over her. A couple of women stumbled to a stop by their table and slid long glances at him. But his gaze didn’t turn from her.
“That’s what I like about you, your unending optimism.” His eyes sparked blue, the curve of his sensuous mouth lifted at the corners. He looked breathtaking, laughter etched into the stark lines of his face. “What can I do instead of
the
grovel?
”
“Keep smiling like that.”
His sinful mouth still curved, he shot an eyebrow up.
Breathe, Liv.
“I mean, you rarely, if ever, laugh.” She drew her brows together in mock seriousness. “It’s always—make sure Emily’s okay, make sure my billion dollar empire is fine, make sure Olivia is not up to trouble. I agree the brooding look is definitely sexy, but when you laugh, you just...” She sighed, and shut her mouth, the amusement inching into his gaze heating up her cheeks.
He leaned forward. “Maybe it’s the present company that hasn’t given me much reason to laugh? Between figuring out where Kim is and trying not to forget I have
some
sense of right and wrong, which believe me is very hazy right now, maybe brooding is all I have left.”
Loaded silence hummed around them for a few seconds before they both burst out laughing.
“After dinner, we can—”
She shook her head. “No. I can’t stand another business dinner.”
What she couldn’t bear was the sense of inadequacy that was becoming second skin again. She had spent the better part of her life wishing she was more like her twin, had barely managed to train herself to accept that she would never even come close.
And every second she spent with Alexander, a little of that acceptance crumbled.
When he opened his mouth, she forged on, refusing to let him interrupt. “Even couples honeymooning need a break from each other, don’t they? Or if that ruins the image of perfect marriage you’re supposed to have, you can tell them I’m tired from all the crazy monkey sex we’ve been having...”
Their gazes collided and held, her breath hitching in her throat. The blue of his pupils darkened. He leaned back into his chair, moving his neck this way and that. “Crazy monkey sex, huh? Is this your way of punishing me because I didn’t believe you? Because it’s working.”
She stood up on shaky knees.
“I’ll cancel tonight’s dinner. There’s a runway show that you might like.”
Warmth exploded in her chest. The fact that he belonged to Kim should be more than enough to kill the attraction. Her sister loved him,
deserved
him, and even the unbidden rush of pleasure Liv felt at the prospect of spending the day with him was wrong. “You don’t have to spend—”
“We’re family. It’s time we learned to get along.”
She fell back to the cobbled ground with a
thump.
“You really know how to make a girl feel all special inside, don’t you?” She glared at him. “If you’re worried I’ll make a spectacle of myself somewhere—”
“I’m not.” He grabbed her wrist when she pushed her chair back, locking her in place. “I’m extending the olive branch. We’re going to feature in each other’s lives whether we like it or not.” His thumb moved over her skin, sending flares of sensation rippling over her skin. “And I had no idea how hard all this was on you.”
She
had,
but for all the wrong reasons. With each passing day, Jacques had moved further and further back in her mind, Alexander now occupying the front and center position. She locked her trembling hands in her lap.
Nice move, Liv. From frying pan into the fire.
Refusing to meet his gaze, she pushed her cup back on the table. “Pfft... This...
thing
between us? Being attracted to totally unsuitable men is kinda the running theme of my life, as you already know.” She really deserved an award for her acting skills. “It’s you who seems to be—”
“I mean—to pretend you were Kim.”
She hated how easily he saw right through her, how easily he turned her inside out with a few kind words. “I love my sister. I’ve never begrudged her her success or anything else that she’s achieved.” That was mostly true, except for the man staring at her with an intensity that could crumble her already-weak will.
He nodded, his gaze searing through the false smile she forced to her mouth. She yanked her handbag over her shoulder and stood up, eager to escape.