A Home for Her Heart (9 page)

Was she? She had no reason to be. He’d been nice and considerate of her all day. “No, of course not. I think that’s just how it happened. He got on the bus before I did.”

“Oh, I see,” Kathleen said with a dubious look.

“Did we look angry?” Elizabeth answered.

“No.” Kathleen shrugged and grinned. “I’m reading things into nothing, as Luke says I do sometimes. I just wanted to make sure everything was all right between the two of you.”

They continued downstairs, but Elizabeth wondered what had brought on Kathleen’s question. Maybe Kathleen was trying to play matchmaker? She was so happy with Luke, maybe she wanted everyone else to be in love, too.

Well, that wasn’t going to happen. Elizabeth had no intentions of falling in love with anyone. Not again. She wasn’t going to put herself through all that pain ever again.

* * *

John tried to shrug off his bad mood as he shaved before heading up to dinner. He had no real reason to be upset, but he had the feeling that Elizabeth was trying to distance herself from him this afternoon and he didn’t know why. He didn’t think he’d said anything to upset her. But he supposed it was possible that he had. Of course it was possible.

And yet, she’d been fine while they’d picnicked together, even being very complimentary of his plan to incorporate the child-care homes in his articles about the tenements. For a moment there he’d even thought... He paused, razor in hand. He’d thought about kissing her. Had to catch himself before he’d bent his head and done just that. And now he thought about it, that was when she began to be standoffish.

He slowly wiped off his shaving cream. Had Elizabeth known what he was thinking? It was about that time she’d jumped up to go get more cake and then she’d spent the rest of the afternoon with the women. But there was nothing odd about that. He’d spent his time with the men.

He slapped bay rum on his face before putting on a fresh shirt and collar. But she’d still seemed distant when he’d walked up and surprised her. And what was he doing trying to figure Elizabeth out? He’d never been able to figure any woman out.

John looked in the mirror and sighed. His thoughts went back to the moment he’d realized he had wanted to kiss her. Still did, for that matter. He was more than a little attracted to her. There was no denying it. But he wasn’t going to do anything about it. His track record with women had proven one thing to him and that was never to give his heart to another. And he couldn’t let the attraction he felt for Elizabeth grow or he’d be in danger of doing just that.

But he wasn’t willing to give up the friendship they’d managed to form—not if he didn’t have to. He’d never confided in many people in his lifetime and today—well, he’d found himself wanting to open up to Elizabeth in a way he’d never opened up to anyone else.

He headed back upstairs wondering if it was possible to have Elizabeth’s friendship and keep from falling in love with her.
Dear Lord, please let that be possible.
He’d have to keep his distance. Not let himself think about her in any way other than as a fellow boarder and friend.

He arrived upstairs just as Mrs. Heaton was calling everyone to the table. He pulled out Elizabeth’s chair for her, slid it toward the table as he always did—nothing more than using his manners at the dinner table. No one could think he was being any more than gentlemanly.

He slid into his seat beside her and as she turned to him, he caught the scent of her hair as he had that afternoon, which made him remember wanting to kiss her and—

Who was he kidding about only thinking of her as a friend? Something had changed today and if he wasn’t careful everyone at this table would realize it.

Chapter Nine

O
ver the next week, Elizabeth and John’s relationship seemed near normal. Maybe that was because they were both busy with their jobs and Elizabeth and Kathleen had spent several evenings at Violet and Michael’s having fittings for Kathleen’s wedding dress. Still, she hadn’t been completely able to keep her heart from giving a little jump start when he came into a room and smiled at her. Then she’d wonder if he had meant to kiss her that day in the park. Wondered what it would have been like if he had.

It also helped that it was baseball season and the men had taken to going to the New York Giants games when they were in town. This Saturday, they were playing the Brooklyn Bridegrooms at the Polo Field while she, Kathleen and Mrs. Heaton went to Violet’s. Michael had gone to the game with them, so it was a women-only gathering and it seemed to be a relief to the others, as well. Living in a boardinghouse with both men and women boarders was wonderful—but occasionally made it difficult to have a talk-fest for any length of time. The men never liked it much when they tried to.

They were upstairs in a room Violet called her sewing room, but that for the time being also doubled as a small sitting room. “I am so glad that the men had something they wanted to do today,” Violet said, slipping a pin into what would be a shoulder seam of Kathleen’s dress. “Michael has been hovering over me ever since we found out I was expecting.”

“He loves you, dear,” Mrs. Heaton said.

“Oh, I know, Mother Heaton. And I’m so very blessed that he is the kind of man he is, but at times he can be a bit overprotective.” Violet smiled. “Of course, that comes from protecting me in the past, but still—”

“I know that feeling.” Kathleen laughed and lifted an arm as Violet pinned the bodice in place. “Luke is worse now about my having to go into the tenements for my work than he was at the beginning.”

Elizabeth’s heart seemed to do a little twist in her chest. Was she envious of her friends? At one time she’d dreamed of having a man love her like the men in their lives loved them. And at one time, she’d thought it possible. She’d looked forward to her wedding just as Kathleen was doing now.

Oh, she’d been upset with her father for making a match for her, but she’d eventually fallen for Richard on her own. Only to later find out she’d been right to be leery of any matchmaking at all. Richard had set out to get control of her money while being in love with another woman. What an actor he’d been! She’d found out at their engagement party, when she caught him and the other woman in a very compromising position.

Her dreams had come crashing down around her that night. And while she was thankful she’d found out what kind of man Richard really was before they’d said their vows, she was horribly disillusioned by it all. So much so that she still felt there wasn’t a man out there she could, or would, trust with her heart. No matter what her heart seemed to want when she thought of John.

“You are both very blessed,” Rebecca said. “Not all men are like my brother and Luke.”

Elizabeth didn’t know what Rebecca had gone through, but she had a feeling the woman had also been deeply hurt in the past. “You’re right, Rebecca. Men that good don’t come along all that often.”

“I pray you both find men like Michael and Luke,” Mrs. Heaton said. “There still are a few good ones out there, some even living at Heaton House.”

She was right. John and Ben seemed to be good men. So did Matt, although he hadn’t been there that long. But how could one be sure? Really, truly sure? She didn’t think it was possible after what she’d gone through. But that didn’t keep her from thinking about John and wondering how the game was going and if he and the others were having a good time. Was he thinking about—

Violet’s maid came into the room with a tea tray laden with treats and Elizabeth welcomed the intrusion into her thoughts.

“Will you pour, Mother Heaton?” Violet asked.

“I’d be glad to. Too bad you’ve already put Jenny down for a nap, Rebecca, dear. She does like tea.”

Her daughter chuckled. “Yes, she does, Mama. But she also needs her sleep or she turns into a very grouchy little girl.”

“I understand.” Her mother smiled over at her. “She takes after you a bit and brings me so many good memories of when you were young.”

“Are you saying I was a grumpy child, Mama?” Rebecca raised an eyebrow and grinned at her mother.

“From time to time, but not very often.” Mrs. Heaton handed her daughter a cup of tea. “And you’ve always liked tea. Another trait she picked up from you and one I totally approve of.”

“Well, the way this little one has begun to kick, I think it’s going to be a rowdy little boy.” Violet smoothed a hand over her growing middle and smiled.

Elizabeth could tell that she would be happy no matter if she had a girl or boy. She glowed with happiness. So did Kathleen for that matter. She sighed inwardly as she took a cup of tea from Mrs. Heaton. What would it be like to be looking forward to marrying the man you loved and then to start a family with him?

Violet stood back and looked at the gown she’d pinned on Kathleen. “I think that’s it for today.”

“It’s beautiful, Violet,” Elizabeth said. “You are going to be a lovely bride, Kathleen.”

“Only with the help of all of you. I could never have afforded to buy a dress like this and I can’t thank you enough for making it for me, Violet.”

“We’re all loving helping out, Kathleen. And what good is a talent the Lord gives us if we can’t use it to help someone?”

“Still, thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Now, let’s get you out of this gown so we can dive into these treats. I’m starving as usual. Michael tells me it’s because I’m eating for two and I certainly hope he’s right and that it stops once I have the baby.”

She helped Kathleen slip out of the gown, from behind a screen she’d set up in the corner, then hung it up while Kathleen changed back into her skirt and shirtwaist.

For the next half hour they talked and laughed, discussing the upcoming wedding, Rebecca’s future move and the new member of the family that’d soon be there.

When it was time to leave, Violet called for a hack to pick them up—amid claims that they’d walk back to Heaton House.

“No, you won’t. It’s much too hot out there this time of day. You’ll wilt.”

Mrs. Heaton laughed. “Now, Violet, you know that none of us are wilting kind of women. We’ll be fine.”

“You’re right, of course. Still, it is getting warm out and Michael would have a fit if he thought I let you all walk. No need to upset your son, Mother Heaton.”

“Michael never gets upset with you, Violet. But we’ll give in and take the ride. No need to upset the mother of my next grandchild.” She kissed her daughter-in-law on the cheek.

By then the hack was there and the three women waved to Violet as it took off. Within minutes they were opening the door to a very quiet home. Elizabeth wondered if the men were back from their game. If so, she supposed everyone was getting ready for dinner.

Mrs. Heaton had already disappeared in the direction of the kitchen when the door opened once more and John, Luke and Ben entered. They seemed to be in excellent moods.

“Your team must have won today,” Elizabeth said.

John grinned at her. “It did! The Giants beat those Bridegrooms six to three. It was nice to see them win.”

Luke sidled up to Kathleen. “I kind of feel bad they beat the Bridegrooms, seeing as how I’m going to be a real one in a few months.”

“Oh, he’s just trying to get on your good side, Kathleen,” John said. “Those grooms beat us the last two games. He cheered as loud as we did at this game.”

But the way Kathleen was looking at her fiancé, Elizabeth was certain her friend took no notice of John’s teasing. She was also sure the two wouldn’t mind a moment alone.

Even John seemed to get the message as the couple moved a few steps away and began speaking in low voices. He cleared his throat. “I guess I’ll go down and freshen up for dinner. You coming, Ben?”

“I’m right behind you,” Ben said.

Elizabeth was already on the stairs leading to the second story. “See you in a bit.”

Her heart gave another little twist even as she smiled. She did long for someone to love her the way Luke loved Kathleen. She couldn’t lie to herself about that. But neither could she take that chance again. It hurt way too much to repeat.

She released a deep breath. So...she’d be happy for her friends and put her deepest dream to the back of her mind as she did quite often of late. Especially since John Talbot had begun to wiggle his way into those dreams.

* * *

John hurried downstairs to freshen up and change clothes. It was Saturday, after all, and while he was glad Mrs. Heaton didn’t ask for them to dress for dinner during the week, he knew she liked them to on the weekends. Still, her version of dressing for dinner was a little more casual than others would have asked of them and for that he was thankful. It’d been a good afternoon spent with Luke, Michael and Ben. Matt had to work that day or he would most likely have been with them. He liked the friendship he and the other men in the house shared and enjoyed spending time together.

They’d all looked forward to returning home—especially Michael. He’d worried about Violet all afternoon. And Luke couldn’t wait to get back to see Kathleen—that’d been obvious in the foyer. John had to tamp down a sudden rush of...jealousy? Envy? What was the right word? He was very happy that Michael and Violet, and Luke and Kathleen, had finally realized how much they cared about each other. He’d watched their relationship develop living here and he knew it wasn’t really jealousy he felt. But perhaps it was envy that he didn’t have a relationship like theirs.

And yet, he’d been the one to decide not to give his heart to another and he still stood by that decision. Still, there were times like now that he did long to have someone who cared for him the way Violet loved Michael and Kathleen loved Luke. His thoughts flashed to Elizabeth.

She’d looked quite fetching just now in a green-and-white dress, a small green hat with feathers atop her head that brought out the green in her hazel eyes. Truth be told, he’d thought of her off and on all afternoon. He was sure she’d enjoy watching a game of baseball. He’d have to ask if she’d like to go. Maybe the whole group would enjoy going to a game. If not a group then perhaps just he and Elizabeth.

What was he thinking? Spending more free time with Elizabeth wasn’t a good idea. Yet he’d thought of little else all since the Saturday at the park when he’d nearly kissed her. And if he had? What would she have done? Kissed him back? Or slapped him? He couldn’t imagine her kissing him back in the middle of the day with all their friends there to witness it. But he could certainly imagine kissing
her.

He’d even dreamed about it. And on more than one occasion. Well, he’d always awakened just before his lips touched hers, but still, it was hard not to think about when it was also what you dreamed about.

John looked into the mirror as he parted his hair and combed it to the side. He tried to get his thoughts off Elizabeth. Tomorrow he had another article about the tenement coming out in the
Tribune.
His editor had been quite complimentary about it and he hoped it was received well by the readership. Mostly, he hoped it pleased Elizabeth. And there she was again. John put his collar on and shook his head before leaving his room.

He had to stop thinking so much about the woman. Because even if he let himself care deeply for her, she’d given no indication at all that she could care for him in the same way.

He heard the telephone ring as he walked down the hall to go back upstairs. His footsteps slowed when he heard Elizabeth’s voice say, “Oh, Aunt Bea. He’s not coming here so soon, is he?” There was a pause and then he heard, “I can’t...but I—” A pause, a sigh and then, “You’re right. It will be better than traveling there. Yes, ma’am. Yes. I love you, too. Good night.”

He reached the top step as Elizabeth left the alcove under the second-floor staircase. She looked distracted.

Elizabeth looked up and only then did she see John. The expression in her eyes was stormy and her brows were knit together.

“Are you upset, Elizabeth?”

* * *

John. How much had he heard of her conversation with her aunt? Enough to know it’d upset her. The concern in his eyes touched her and she managed a smile.

“No bad news, I hope?”

“Dinner is ready,” Mrs. Heaton announced from the foyer, saving her from answering. It wasn’t horrible news, but it wasn’t good.

John offered his arm and she took it as they joined the others coming from the parlor. She would be fine. But right now she was totally frustrated. She couldn’t believe her father was coming to town over the Independence Day weekend and on top of spoiling all her plans for the holiday, he was bringing that man he wanted her to meet.

And yet, her aunt was right. It would save her from having to go to Boston and it was only for a few days. But still, over the holiday weekend? She slipped into the chair John held out for her and said, “Thank you,” as he pushed it closer to the table.

He took his own seat and leaned near and whispered, “Are you all right? You look upset.”

“I am. But thank you for your concern.” She didn’t want to go into detail about the conversation right now. And there was only so much she could tell if she wasn’t ready to explain who she was, who her father was and—

“John, would you say the blessing, please?”

“Certainly. Please pray with me.” John bowed his head and Elizabeth did the same.

“Dear Lord, we thank You for this day, for all our many blessings. For Heaton House and Mrs. Heaton who provides us with a true home. We ask that You be with us in all our decision-making and we ask You to bless this food. In Jesus’s name, Amen.”

Did he know how she was struggling with the decision to tell everyone here who she was? No, of course not. He couldn’t know that. Still, she was thankful for the prayer—it reminded her to take her frustrations and struggles to the Lord and she’d sent up her own prayer along with John’s.