A Jar of Hearts (16 page)

“It’s a wonder watching her maneuver her way like that. Are you sure she is blind?” Mark asked with interest.

“Why are you here?” James asked curtly.

“To talk some sense into you,” Mark replied. “But that’s not gonna happen, is it?”

James shook his head. “You don’t understand. I didn’t have a reason to live until I found Anne. When I was a hitman, I didn’t care. I gambled and I was ready to lose if my time came to it. Sometimes… sometimes…” He turned towards the ocean, slapping the wooden paling of the fence. “I met Anne when I was seventeen years old and if I had the courage to speak to her then, my life would probably have taken another course. One both she and I would be proud of. I cannot lose this chance again, Mark.”

“She’s your
raison d’etre
,” Mark mumbled.

“My what?”

“
Raison d’etre.
Your reason for living. It’s just something I picked up from one of my sisters.” He shrugged.

“Sisters? It makes you sound normal. I never really imagined you with a family,” James smirked.

Mark scratched his brow. “I know I can be cold and clinical sometimes, but that is part of my job. And right now, it is to tell you that the only way you can protect Anne is to remove your associations from her.”

“And tell her what, Mark? What bullshit are you going to feed me this time? You killed off Eric and you don’t know the heck what that put her through. In fact, you don’t care. I’m not going to break her a second time.”

“Then you should have kept the fuck quiet and minded your own fucking business,” Mark gritted. “For Christ’s sake… James, we were doing just fine until you decided to patch things up with her. Once the mission was over, you would have had all the time to resume a relationship with her.”

“She was dying, Mark! I couldn’t sit back and watch her wither away anymore. This mission isn’t mine. She is! She is my priority! And that’s how it stays.”

Julia looked out of her kitchen over at the two men and sighed.

“What was that all about?” Anne asked her with a smile.

“What?”

“That sigh you just let out.”

“I just can’t believe we have two fine looking specimens standing in our backyard.”

“Yeah? How is he? Mark Dane?”

“Tall, muscular with a silvery set of soft hair.”

“Sounds handsome.”

“He is.” She frowned. “But it doesn’t seem like it is all well between them.”

“What do you mean?”

“They seem to be having a disagreement of some sort. They certainly didn’t look happy seeing each other.”

Anne lifted her brow. “James was a little upset earlier. I wonder if it had something to do with that.”

“I don’t know. I would be the wrong person to ask anyway. I haven’t been around the opposite sex in a long time to know how they feel and why they behave like the way they do.” She shook her head. “I should get on and start dinner before Ashley comes home.”

“Is it time already? That was fast.”

“I know. The more she’s grows up, the more I begin to miss my little girl.”

“She is still your little girl, Julia. You just miss her following you around like she used to.”

Julia let out a puff of air. “That is it, isn’t? Oh, what do I do?”

“Have another child?” Anne teased.

“You need a man for that. And he is the last thing I need right now. I need to focus on Ashley and make sure she goes to college, get a great job and not repeat the same mistakes I’ve made.”

Anne smiled. “Is there something I can help with in the kitchen?”

“No. I was just going to fix a quick meal of pasta. Will that be okay for dinner?”

“How about I whip up some grilled steak ratatouille and saffron rice?”

“Something fancy,” Julia whistled. “Why not? What do I do?”

“Nothing, other than pass me the ingredients,” she said as she washed her hands.

“Anne?”

“Hmmm?”

“Is there something wrong?”

“Why do you ask?” Anne said, wiping her hands dry on a towel.

“The little frown that keeps niggling at your brow.  Anne, if there is something you want to talk about, you can tell me.”

Anne threw the towel aside in frustration. “There are things James does that continue to baffle me.”

“Like what?”

“He reminds me of Eric. Just little things…”

“Tell me, what is it?”

“This morning I asked him what he would like for breakfast and he said
Orange juice and toast, of course
. Of course? It was like he was thinking that I should know what he ate for breakfast. He then added that there was yoghurt and berries for me in the fridge. How would he know that about me?”

Julia shrugged, slightly perplexed about it as well. “Perhaps, he found out from Ashley.”

“Then how does that explain what he did just a few minutes ago. I didn’t know Mark had extended his hand for a shake and he tactfully thumbed me on the waist to tell me that. No one knew that other than me and Eric. It was something he came up with because he was always worried that I would feel awkward amongst his friends.”

“I don’t know, Anne. If I were to analyze those, I would say they
are
just random stuff. It’s like when you find someone else biting their nails like you do. You feel a connection but you also know it is a common habit.”

“But the thumb, Julia,” Anne insisted.

“He probably didn’t know how else to tell you that Mark wanted to shake hands with you. Besides, why then is everyone calling him James in San Diego? He’s just a different guy who happens to be similar to Eric in more ways than one. He’s a doppelganger. It may also be why you were attracted to him so instantly.”

Anne sighed. “I suppose. I guess I am over-thinking these things.”

The voices of the men in the hallway caught their attention and they quieted immediately in case James heard any of their discussion.

“Anne… Julia, we need to talk,” he announced rather sternly.

“What’s going on, James?” Anne asked as they settled in the living room.

“Julia, did you close up everything?” Mark asked.

“Yes, I checked upstairs,” she replied worriedly.

“I closed up the back door and the windows downstairs. You are sure there is no one else in the house?” Mark asked again.

“No… I mean yes, there is no one.” Julia licked her lips.

“James?” Anne said with a little annoyance. “Why are we being holed up?”

Mark nodded a go-ahead and James cleared his throat. “Mark is an undercover FBI officer. He is investigating a major gang syndicate and we believe…” He knelt down beside Anne and took her hands in his. “Anne, we have reason to believe that you may have become entangled in it.”

“What are you talking about? I don’t know any gang members, neither do I have any affiliations with them! This is ridiculous!” She tried to pull her hands away from him but he held them tightly.

“Anne, you do. It is Avanna,” he said.

“Avanna?” Her face grew ashen and stiff as the realization of his words sunk into her.

“Avanna is the sister of the leader of The Pachecos gang.”

“So when she said she was going to kill me, she could have really meant it,” she mumbled.

Julia let out a short gasp; covering her mouth immediately in case Anne had heard it. But the terrified look in her eyes was enough to tell James that both women were shaken to their core.

“Yes,” James said, shifting uncomfortably. For heaven’s sake, this had to be the right decision. “I’ve had members tailing me since this morning and I think Avanna may have had something to do with it.”

Anne nodded. “So if Avanna is a gang member, Mark is an undercover FBI agent, then who are you? What were you doing with Avanna when you clearly knew who she was?”

James looked up at Mark for direction.

“James is an undercover agent as well.” Mark coughed. “But he’s working more closely than I am.”

“Like infiltrating the gang,” Anne said slowly.

“Yes.”

Her eyes reddened, her body visibly trembling from the revelation.

“Anne?” James asked, growing worried for her.

“Don’t touch me,” she growled. “How could you do this to me?”

“Do what? I fell in love with you. How was I supposed to stop that from happening?”

“If you loved me, you should have stayed the hell away from me. You lied to me from the very start. And now you have put me and my family in danger! How am I supposed to protect them?!”

“You’re not supposed to!
I
will protect you. I promise you, Anne, nothing will happen to you or Julia and Ashley.”

He glanced over at Mark, who was throwing his hands up in the air, rolling his eyes and mouthing an
I told you
silently.

James let out a puff of frustration. “Listen Anne, if you want… you can go back to Boston. You’d be safer there. Avanna would think we’ve broken off. Or if you would prefer it… we could really break…”

She slapped him hard on his face, the sound stunning both Mark and Julia. “Don’t you dare. You got me into this mess, so you better figure it out and get me out of it, James Connelly. I’m not afraid of Avanna. But I am afraid for Julia and Ashley. They don’t deserve this.”

James caught her shivering body and hugged her. He had been afraid she would leave him. He had half-wished she would return to Boston, but he couldn’t help being selfish in wanting her to stay also.

“I’m sorry, Julia,” he said to the other shaken woman.

“Julia,” Anne said, walking over to hold her. “You don’t have to be involved. Why don’t you and Ashley go back to Boston?”

“I think so too, Julia,” James added. “I’ll be here for Anne.”

“And what would I go back to?” Julia asked rhetorically, her eyes reddened with despair. “I came here for the hope it would give my daughter. Your father promised me she would have a good education and that would mean a better life for Ashley- one that I wouldn’t have been able to give to her on my own. If I return to Boston, I would have nothing but the possibilities that she would be caught up in the gangs or be killed. I can’t go back. I’d just have to take the chance that this would be sorted soon without any of us dying.”

“You guys are all crazy,” Mark grumbled. “Do you understand the risk you’re taking? And you.” He pointed at Julia. “You have a child. You should be more responsible and go back to Boston. And if you had any sense, you’d convince Anne to go with you.”

“Responsible?” Julia glared at him. “Do you have any children, Mr Danes?”

“No, but-”

“Then you know nothing of the term.” She walked up to him, staring him sternly in the face. “Don’t talk about what I should do with my daughter? I’ve had no one to help me with her since the day she was born. And we pulled through it together. We made it through thick and thin, every goddamned problem. So I suggest you shove your advice back where you got it from!”

“This is not about changing nappies, Miss Medina. We’re talking about the possibilities of being attacked by a lethal gang,” he minced angrily.

“I’m not dumb, Mark. I heard it the first time you told me.”

“And yet you’re dumb enough to stay.”

“It’s not being dumb! It’s about taking my chances because I have nothing the heck to return to if I go back!” Julia stepped closer, not dissuaded by his anger, challenging him at every word.

“That’s if you go back at all!” Mark shouted over her voice.

“Mark! Julia!” James rushed between them and pushed them apart. “The way you two are going at each other, you’d have the entire neighborhood knowing about this. Stop!”

“Fuck!” Mark punched furiously into the air.

James guided a very fuming Julia back to the couch.

“We need to go to plan B,” James said.

“What’s… what’s plan B?” Anne stammered.

Mark turned back at them, looking flagrantly down at Julia. “Forget it, it won’t work.”

“Why won’t it work?” James challenged him.

“But what is plan B?” Anne asked again sternly.

“Move in here as Julia’s boyfriend,” James explained.

“What?” Julia widened her eyes in disbelief. “That is
not
going to happen!”

“Something we both agree on at last,” Mark scoffed.

“Listen, you said you would protect Anne,” James demanded.

“I’m not going to pretend to be
her
boyfriend! We clearly don’t have chemistry. Even while we are undercover, we are paired with people we can gel with. She and I- it’s never going to work. It won’t take a genius to figure out we’re up to something. I’m not going to risk it! We’ve come too far!”

“Fuck!” James screamed angrily as he moved aside to calm down his rapidly pacing pulse in his temples.

“Is there another way?” Anne asked hopefully.

“I could say I was your boyfriend,” Mark said carelessly.

“No!” James walked briskly back to him. “Are you kidding me?”

Anne jumped out of her chair. “How about as a friend? My friend. Will that help?”

“No, Avanna would just assume Mark is still your boyfriend and that you were two-timing me. There is no telling how she would react then.” James looked sternly at Mark.

“Then we have no choice,” Anne let out helplessly. “Then we will all just have to relocate back to Boston.”

“Anne?” James wound his arms around her.

“It would be safer for Julia and Ashley and I can wait for you there until everything is over here.” She leaned into him. “That way, you wouldn’t have to worry about me too.”

He gathered her head in his hands and kissed her temples. “Okay.”

“I’ll do it,” Julia whispered.

“Julia?” Anne frowned. “You don’t have to-”

“Yes, I have to. Your father promised that so long as you were living in San Diego, he would support Ashley’s education. If you go back, I’d have to go back to work at the house. So where would that leave Ashley?” Julia teared up. “I need this for my daughter. I have to do it.”

“No, I can talk to Dad-” Anne began.

“Thank you, Anne, but I won’t take charity,” Julia said quickly. “Whatever I give my Ashley, it will be because I worked for it.”

Mark shifted uncomfortably. “I’ll… I’ll do it too.”

“Ashley will be home soon,” Julia said, interrupting the brief silence in the room.

Mark nodded. “We will never discuss this again. Not even a word. Everyone cleared on that?”

“What… what will I tell Ashley?” She licked her lips nervously. “What would she think of me?”

“Julia.” Anne moved over to her to hold her in her arms.

“I don’t want her to think her mother is a whore,” Julia said with a little tremble.

“She won’t. She never could. She loves you too much.”

“I’ve never brought a man home. It was always just her and me. I don’t know what this will do to her.”

Mark cleared his throat. “So long as I am here with you, I promise I will respect both you and your daughter. I will do everything I can to not hurt her.”

Julia looked up at him, her tears staining her pale cheeks and nodded slowly.

Anne rose out of her chair. “I need some air.”

She walked out towards the back door and onto the verandah.

“Are you okay?” James asked, following her.

“No.” She shook her head, crying. “How could you do this to us, James? You split us apart. Me from you, Julia from her daughter.”

“I never planned this. All I knew is that I fell for you and everything else became a blur.”

“I lost Eric. I don’t have the strength to lose you too.”

He gathered her in his arms and hugged her tightly. “You won’t, I promise you.”
Not this time. Never again.

“I hate you for lying to me,” she said, her voice muffled against his shirt. “I hate you for doing this to us. And I will hate you even more if you don’t come back to me.”