A Jar of Hearts (8 page)

When James came by to pick them up next morning, Anne stepped into the car without a word. She leaned away from him and against the front passenger window, listening to Ashley and him jabber away.

James glanced at her occasionally, wondering how he could bridge the differences between them. It was torturous to have her so close and yet so distant.

They stopped at the adoption centre and walked over to the office with Ashley tugging excitedly on her arm.

She laughed. “You’ve got to quit doing that, Ashley, or you’ll have my arms off its hinges.”

“But I wish you could see all these dogs! They’re beautiful. But Harley is the most beautiful of all of them!”

Anne chuckled. “I’m sure he is.”

James looked at them adoringly. She was happy so long as she didn’t have to talk to him, he supposed. After a quick few minutes of conversation with an adoption counselor, the woman led them to a beautiful grassy yard.

“Is she going to get Harley, now?” Ashley asked eagerly.

“I believe so.” James ruffled her hair with a smile. “She’s going to watch how you play with him and if she is happy, we will be allowed to have him.”

Anne clasped the girl’s small hand fondly. “Let’s just wait patiently, okay. He will be ours soon.”

Not long after, the counselor brought out a puppy bounding gleefully in her arms. “I think Harley is just as excited as you are, Ashley,” she said with a laugh.

“He likes me!” Ashley squealed as she gladly let the woman put the little dog into her arms.

The counselor smiled. “I’ll give you a little time with him,” she told James while he walked her back to the office.

“Thanks.”

“A golden retriever would be great for your wife as well,” she said.

He cocked his head to the side. Wife? “Anne… yes.”

“They are perfect guide dogs for the blind. And their calm and gentle temperament will suit the entire family. I think you’ve made an excellent choice.” She smiled and strolled away into the building.

He lifted his head to glance at Anne sitting on the lush green lawn, playing with the puppy. She had a bright smile that lit up her jade eyes. A tingling feeling rose up his chest. If life hadn’t thrown him a curve ball, she would probably have been his wife.

They strolled back towards the car with the puppy nestled in Ashley’s arms.

“Thank you,” Anne muttered, nipping at her lower lip. “I enjoyed that.”

He smiled. “I did too, thanks to Ashley.”

“James, I know I haven’t been quite polite with you and I just wanted you to know… I am sorry.”

“And I am sorry to tell you this but I can’t forgive you,” he teased.

She stopped. “Excuse me?”

“How about having dinner with me tomorrow?”

“You’re trying to get me to bribe you?”

He shrugged. “I just want to have dinner with you. Can I? We’ll call it a truce.”

She hesitated, bobbing her head from side to side nervously.

The speeding wheels of a skateboard caught James’ attention and he quickly pulled her close into him as the skateboarder sped by. He frowned at the boy as his arms enclosed her. She fell against his chest and he steadied her immediately.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yes,” she mumbled, trying to push herself away from him.

“Anne?”

“Yes… yes, fine. I’ll have dinner. Can we just go home now?”

He narrowed his eyes. She seemed to be fine with him so long as she didn’t have to touch him. And he would never be fine unless he did.

Julia sat their steaming mugs of coffee on the table in the verandah as Anne listened to Ashley skip about the yard with Harley.

“He already feels like he’s always belonged here,” Julia said, settling into a chair.

“He must be beautiful.”

Julia wrapped her palms around her cup. “So are you really going out for dinner with him?” she asked carefully.

“Why does it sound so unbelievable?”

“Probably because you hated him?”

“I don’t actually hate him, Julia,” Anne let out tiredly. “I guess… I’m just afraid.”

“Anne.” Julia reached out for her hand. “Why… what are you so afraid of?”

Anne’s eyes welled with her tears. Unable to restrain them, they flooded out and stained her cheeks. “I’m afraid I will forget…”

Julia clasped her hand, soothing her. “Everyone loses someone they love, Anne. And I promise you that just because you’ve decided to move on, don’t necessarily mean you will ever forget the memories.”

Anne covered her face, trying to stifle her tears. But what could she do about the pain spearing through her heart? She could never move on. Especially not with James.

She was sitting by his side again as they drove towards his favorite restaurant by the ocean. He glanced at her occasionally, admiring the manner in which her golden curls fell down her shoulders.

“What is it called? This restaurant?” she asked.

“Candle by the Sea,” he said.

Candle by the Sea
, he heard her repeat under her breath.

“You haven’t been there, have you?” he asked. “I was hoping it would be a surprise.”

“I haven’t,” she replied. “In fact, I haven’t been out much at all in San Diego.”

He pressed his lips together in thought. “I heard you lived in Boston. Is there a reason you moved?” She wasn’t sick, was she?

“I just got tired of Boston, that’s all,” she replied nonchalantly.

She didn’t want to talk about Boston, he frowned.

“Are we almost there yet?” she asked again.

“Uh… yes, in five minutes.”

Dinner wasn’t at all what he had expected. She had been quiet through most of their meal. And even though he had tried to banter with her, she remained withdrawn, answering in short syllables.

“Do you want to take a walk down the pier?” he asked as they stepped outside the restaurant.

“Do you?”

She didn’t care, he thought. She was here with him because she felt obliged. But as long as she gave him that chance, he would take it.

“The sky is clear of any clouds and filled with a mass of stars. And the ocean is steady and relatively calm. It would be a pity to miss any of this,” he said softly.

“Then we shouldn’t,” she breathed out.

He put her hand on the crook of his arm and led her towards the pier.

“James,” she whispered.

“Hmmm?”

“Why did you want to have dinner with me?”

“What do you mean why? You’re a beautiful woman and I wanted to see if I could inch into your good books.”

“I’m blind,” she muttered.

She stepped away from him to put some distance between them. But he followed, nearing her, eager to hold her again.

“And so am I,” he whispered back. “I’m blind to the fact that you are.”

She bumped against the railings, trapping herself between it and him. “James...”

He reached out for her face, cupping it in his hand.  He brushed her jawline with the pad of his thumb, caressing it. “What does it matter, Anne? Why can’t I like you for who you are?”

“James, please…,” she pleaded between her tears.

He pressed his brow gently against hers, his breath mingling with hers. “You drive me crazy. You had my heart at my knees when I first saw you and you have it in your hands right now. I can’t tell you how insane you make me when you’re in my life and how much more when you’re not in it.”

“James…”

But he had already brushed his lips against her cheeks and he didn’t know if he could hold himself back anymore.

Goosebumps prickled her skin. Heat ran up her spine as his lips touched her flesh. She wanted him just as much as he did.

She wrapped her arms around his neck as he trailed his kisses down the side of her face, tingling her. His strong hands gathered her waist and tugged her into him. She felt him mold into her curves and she let out a moan of pleasure. She hadn’t felt so alive in such a long time. Especially not since…since Eric.

Her mouth went dry. Guilt crawled up her and she went rigid.

“Anne?” he asked, feeling her stiffness immediately.

“James, I can’t. I’m not ready,” she said with a shiver.

He held her against him and kissed her brow. “It’s okay… it’s okay,” he repeated with a sigh.

They drove back home in silence. James glanced over at Anne. She was quiet, having descended into her own world again. At least she didn’t pull away from him now.

He thinned his lips in thought as he maneuvered the car though the dark, quiet streets. He was the cause of her pain and he would do everything he could to help her heal.

He looked at her hands balled in her lap and he had a tremendous urge to hold them. To feel her palm against his, to let her know he would protect her. He let out a breath to simmer himself down.

He turned the car around the corner and towards their homes. He immediately caught sight of the men hovering on the path before his house and he tensed. He straightened up, recognizing the license plate of one of the two cars parked. What was Juan doing here? If there was business, he would always call him over to his own house. That was the base, that’s where business took place.

He frowned, wondering how he should keep Anne away from the gangster. He pulled the car to a stop a reasonable distance away and turned to her. “Stay in the car. I’ll help you out.”

“I don’t need help to get out of the car,” she began to protest.

“Stay in the car, Anne.” His voice was firm and it made her tense.

“Is something wrong?”

“There are some men outside waiting for me.”

“Are you going to be alright? Do you want me to call the cops?” she asked worriedly.

He caressed her hand. “I will be fine. But stay here until I come and get you, okay?”

He leaned over her and locked her car door. His lips brushed her cheeks and for a brief moment, he savored her taste.
Juan
, he reminded himself.

He pressed down his own door lock as slickly as he could and then stepped out into the street. He didn’t want Juan to think he was taking precautions against him.

“What’s up, Juan?” he asked casually.

“Hey man,” Juan replied, nodding his head at him. “I didn’t know you were out with a woman.” He narrowed his eyes to have a better look at Anne. “Who is she? She’s looks fine.”

“She’s no one,” he said quickly, moving to block Juan’s view of Anne. “Why are you here? I thought we’d agree to always meet at the base.”

“Yeah, well, something important came up.” He scratched his chin as he glanced back at James’ car. “Perhaps we should talk about it when you are free. Come by tomorrow.”

“Yeah, sure.”

Juan lifted his brow. “Maybe you could introduce me next time. She is a beautiful woman.”

“I probably won’t see her again,” James replied carelessly. “She’s not from here.”

“Oh well, in that case I should say hi.”

James stepped into his way. “Juan, she isn’t an easy catch. I’ve got hopes for a hot night. I don’t want her running off thinking I’m setting her up for a gangbang.”

“Ahh right,” Juan chuckled, throwing up his hands in defeat. “Just my luck. Have a good one then.” He winked. “ Tomorrow,
esé.
”

“It’s okay. You can come out now,” he said as he helped her out of the car.

“Who were they?” she asked somewhat stiffly.

“Just some people I do business with.” He glanced back up the street to make sure Juan and his men had gone. They could return and in such case he needed to get Anne out of plain sight as soon as he could. “I’ll walk you home.”

She clasped his arm, stopping him short by her slightly tight grip.

“Let’s go to your house,” she muttered. “I don’t want to go home just yet.”

Had Juan’s visit scared her? He studied her carefully but she showed no signs of worry. He sighed. He probably was just being too cautious.

“Can I get you something to drink?” he asked her as they entered his living room.

“No, I’m fine.” She licked her lips nervously. “Umm… you don’t mind me here at such an hour?”

“Anne, of course not,” he said, bringing her hand to his lips. He breathed in the scent of her palm. She always smelled so sweet. “I’m glad you came.”

“Thank you for dinner. I may not have been ideal company but I did appreciate it.” She cupped his face, her fingers tracing his contours, sending heat rapidly down his body. “James, could you…?”She hesitated.

“Hmm?” He lifted his eyes to gaze into hers; delirious of the sensations she was arousing in him. Common sense warned him to break away from her or he would just have to…

“Could you kiss me again?” she asked, raising her long eyelashes up at him.

He stared up at her, uncertain if she had meant what she had said. He let her hand fall off from him as he tried to determine why she would ask him that. Hadn’t she been trying to fend him off all this while? Just a day ago, she had hated being in the same room as him. Why then?

She palmed her face and shook her head. “This is embarrassing. I shouldn’t have asked you something like that. I don’t know what I was thinking. I may have now officially lost my mind. Just… just forget-”

Fuck the analysis! He grabbed a fistful of her hair and tugged her up against him, bringing his mouth heavily down on hers. She curled her arms between them and for a second, he felt she was about to push him away. But then she relaxed them, snaking them up his torso and winding them around his nape.

She pulled herself closer up to him until he could kiss her deeply, deftly moving his tongue into her mouth to play and tease hers. She groaned as she gently nipped at his lips, bringing him to an unbearable hardness. She was his manna from heaven and he didn’t realize how much he was starved of her until now.

He cupped her bottom to press himself against her core, his length jutting aroused and hard into her. She threw back her head, delirious with the pleasures he was creating in her. He felt so familiar. He felt like… Eric.

He kissed her down the side of her neck, taking time to nip at her flesh. So like Eric. If she imagined this was him… he was Eric… She moaned as his head dipped further down to her cleavage. He cupped her breast, kneading it, feeling for her nipple through her dress.

“Anne,” he rasped. “If you want me to stop, do it now. But don’t torture me anymore.”

“Don’t stop,” she managed to mutter. But he did, she thought disappointedly as she felt him step away from her. Did he not want her anymore? Her dejection began to knot in the pits of her stomach. “James?”

Her legs gave way as he swept her into his arms. She tugged at his head and he eagerly bent down to kiss her wildly, all the while carrying her up to his bedroom. He wanted her, she thought dazedly.
He wants me
.

He steadied her on her feet, his thumb fiddling with the strap of her dress. “Is it okay if…?”

She pulled the straps of her dress down her shoulders, letting the dress slither down her body and fall into a heap at her ankles. His hand caressed her bare shoulders and she closed her eyes to feel him trace his fingers down her collarbone and to the fleshly domes of her breasts.

She shivered under his fingers as he gently unfastened her bra and then palmed her hands along the contours of her body until he reached her panties. He helped her out of it even more delicately until she stood bare before him. But where was he?

Her toes grazed his knees and then she felt his breath against the shaven lips of her heated womanhood. She pulled in a sharp breath. He was too close… much too close. Was he going to kiss her there?

But he stood up instead without touching her at all. What was he doing now? She cocked her head to listen for any sounds. She heard nothing. Had he left? She bit her lip nervously. Had she just embarrassed herself?

And then he touched her hand. She stiffened. He was still here. He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it. She caressed his face and then ran her finger tips over him just as he had done hers, like a painter stroking his brush over every curve and muscle in his body.

She finally stopped at his hips, letting her fingers rest there, hesitating to go any further. She pulled in a deep breath, invigorated by a sudden wash of boldness and reached out for his hot length. She heard him suck in sharply as she curled her fingers around his cock.

“Anne,” he muttered, threading his fingers through her hair and tugging her to him, kissing her while she continued to hold him there.

Her hold grew stronger and tighter, pumping him, his kisses growing fiercer.

“I’ll come,” he said with a low growl, releasing the tight vice she held on him.

He pushed her gently onto his bed, going down with her. His mouth captured her nipples, sucking and nipping at them. She arched her back, deliriously running her hands through his hair, feeling the wetness dripping from the apex of her legs. His thigh parted her legs apart, pressing it hard against her crotch, letting her rub against him. His thigh was by no means his cock, but it was so pleasurable, she almost orgasmed.

Her ecstasy sped up her like a drug, making her wild with intoxication, so when he moved away briefly, she groaned. But he replaced his thigh with his hot mouth and she almost bucked off the bed with delirium. What was he doing to her?

He snaked up her again until his cock met her core. His velvety head pressed hard against her and she moaned. She widened her legs and wound them at his hips as he pushed through her entrance to plunge into her.

“Anne,” he whispered, cupping her bottom and pushing further deeper into her.

He thrust in and out of her, their bodies rocking in unison, their breaths growing short and sharp until they trembled to a halt, riding the climactic peak of their passion.